Early Adopters and Crap Triggers
Are you an early adopter of technology? I’m not. Whenever Something New comes along, I almost always require some convincing. My first reaction is usually, “why in the everlovin’ dog turd in a puff pastry would someone need that?” Then, in a year or whatever, I’ve gotta have it.
While I love gadgetry, I’m also very skeptical of it. When a new fad appears, I generally view the early adopters as tragically pretentious, and have no interest in participating in their little festival of douchery.
So, I’m almost always slightly behind the curve. As the rest of the world was falling in love with digital photography, I was still threading Fuji film into the camera my parents gave me as a high school graduation present. And while every hipster worth his designer sea salt was sporting the white iPod earbuds, I was lugging around my Sony Discman, and a seven-pound tote of CDs.
I’m not exactly proud of my lack of vision, but it does save me money. By the time I get around to appreciating the value of something, the prices have usually dropped. A few of my co-workers in California paid more than $1000 for their first DVD players. A thousand bucks! I probably paid $239 for mine, because I was a year late in contracting the fever.
And our Big Ass Television would’ve cost us thousands of dollars more, if I’d been an early adopter. Longtime readers of the site remember my years-long hemming and hawing session surrounding the purchase of that sombitch. But, in retrospect, my indecisiveness saved us tons of money
The one exception, that I can recall, is the CD burner I had installed in a previous computer, a year after I bought it. When I ordered that machine I was going down the list of upgrades, and decided I didn’t need a burner (who makes CDs?). I probably could’ve added it on the front end for $25, and ended up paying a couple hundred.
So, it usually works out in my favor, but not always.
Current things I view as kinda stoopid, but will probably end up loving in the long run: Blackberries, car navigation systems (I’m already starting to soften on that one), electronic books (like Kindle), and anything to do with Bluetooth technology (I mean, seriously).
Where do you fall on the technology adoption spectrum? Do you jump right in with both feet, or do you need to be convinced like me? I doubt there are too many full-blown Luddites reading the Surf Report, since, you know, it’s on the internet. But who knows?
Also, what gadgets did you originally mock, and end up loving? Use the comments link, if you’ve got anything for us.
Yesterday I stopped at a convenience store on my way to work, with the intention of buying a bottle of water, or some iced tea. And as I was perusing the gargantuan selection there (sweet Maria), something caught my eye.
Sunkist orange soda! I probably hadn’t had one of those babies in 25 years, and wasn’t even aware it was still in production. Just a couple weeks ago I was telling the Secrets about my experience with that stuff, and they didn’t know what I was talking about.
When I had my paper route, you see, there was a small corner grocery store (Cliff’s Market), where I’d stop for a drink on most days.
And while I enjoyed the Sunkist orange, I couldn’t buy it – because it always made me crap. It’s true. Within minutes of downing one of those foot-tall glass bottles, I’d find myself doing a wide-eyed Frankenstein march down the alley toward our house, praying my sphincter would hold against the mounting pressure.
So yesterday I decided to buy one… I wanted to see if it still had the same effect on me. Extremely dangerous, since I was going to work, but this was science, dammit.I twisted off the cap as I drove, and took a tentative sip: yum. It tasted exactly as it had during the Reagan administration. By the time I arrived at my job, the bottle was empty and I wondered if my decades-long streak of never crapping at work might come to an explosive, scattershot end.
Yeah, but nothing happened. I felt completely normal. Wonder if all the beer I’ve downed during the intervening years has shored-up my stomach, and made it less thenthative? I’m not sure, but the streak stands.
What foods cause you to do the stiff-legged scramble? Besides the normal stuff, like Starbucks, etc. Anything unusual make you sprint down the hall? Tell us about it.
And I’ll see ya tomorrow.
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Filed under: Daily
I always wanted to say 1st!
2nd. Missed it by that much.
Leon’s fried chicken in Chicago has literally made me shit my pants because I couldn’t get in the house fast enough! That was a terrible day that will live on in infamy. (figured I should write something too instead of just first)
Fourth
Yipee ki yay M–F–
I think there is a website where one can order almost any pop that is made - even Cherokee Red.
Definitely an early adopter when I have the means. I still haven’t made the BAT purchase, yet…
The one thing I thought was stupid was a Slingbox, but I’ve got to admit it’s pretty cool. I ended up getting one so that a friend who had moved to Spain could use my bedroom TiVo to record and watch her American shows while she was gone for the year. It worked out pretty well. Of course, now that I don’t have a bad-ass internet connection at the house I’m SOL with that thing… anyone want a Slingbox Solo?
Also… food that ALWAYS makes me crap: Almonds. Every damn time. Oh, and that first glass of vodka when I get home from the office usually has the same effect.
On a more serious note: I have a kindle and love it. If you have 40 year old eyes being able to adjust the font is incredible. I have resisted Blootooth for as long as possible and finally gave in a few weeks ago. Womens clothing doesn’t have pockets big enough for my phone– so if I just make sure I am in the general vicinity then I can get my calls with out scrambling through my purse. I run most of my three offices calls through my celly on the weekends so call volume can be high. I am early adopter on Sprint Airave and LOVE it! A bargain AT ANY PRICE> I am nerdy. oh well.
Jeff - You might soften even more on the car navigation systems when I tell you this - - sure, the system comes with the super efficient friendly woman’s voice to tell you where to go and how to get there, but for a little more dough you can get the system with John Cleese’s voice. I assume it’s Cleese with the ” I didn’t come here for an argument”/Basil Fawly ‘tude because the option is rated PG13.
DH has to poo whenever he seriously relaxes. This relaxation used to happen in book stores and record stores years ago…I don’t think he has relaxed in years though. I’ll have to ask.
Freshman year of college, Fall 1984. I had a computer class…basic programming. I dropped it 4 weeks in because I didn’t get it and besides, who the hell is ever going to use computers anyway.
I still think about what a dumbass I was (am).
I’m experiencing deja vu….didn’t we discuss this before once? [shrug] Well anyway, I’m a late adapter. I only came round to cellphones a couple years ago. But I could probably function fine without one if it weren’t for the loss of public payphones, so I can’t really say I’m singing it’s praises. I still don’t have an Ipod and while I have some MP3s my main mode of music delivery still remains the CD. It’s not that I’m suspicious of new technology, it’s just that I’m adverse to high prices. And the fact that the shelf life has gotten so short for so many gadgets. I’ve been told my two year old cellphone is passe already. Dammit, it’s impossible to stay hip anymore!
I am a late early adopter. For some reason I seem to be able to spot the trends and tend to jump on the bandwagon a little early.
DVD was still relatively new when I paid about $350 for the thing. Blockbuster hadn’t started renting DVDs at that point. I moved to BluRay a couple of months ago when we bought a new PC and decided to buy a 40″ LCD TV to use as a monitor.
I was behind on the iPOD thing, but only because I don’t have a need for portable music. The two I have now were won in various contests.
I’ve carried a Blackberry for 5 years and love it. But it’s provided by my company. As an aside, unless your company provides and fully supports the Blackberry, I say don’t waste your money.
Of course my Blackberrys are Bluetooth enabled and I use it with, yes, you guessed it, the free headsets I’ve been given. The only thing I really like about it versus the corded ear buds us the fact that after a few months the ultra thin wires in the ear buds break, never to be repaired.
I use the GPS navigation on the unit from time to time and it’s handy when I’m going somewhere new. The downside is that if makes me lazy and less likely to remember how I got there. So take it away and I’m in trouble. That wasn’t a problem pre-GPS.
Without giving too much away, my company also is tied to the Kindle. I don’t have one, but one of my customers just got one for his wife and he loves it. I don’t know if I’d buy one, simply because I often buy books by thickness. I find that more often than not, a thick book is a good book. The Stand is an excellent example of this rule. I also note that I don’t recall seeing anything much thicker than ¾” with an “Oprah’s book club” sticker. I suspect that reading anything on that list is only slightly less painful than slamming my dangly bits in a car door. Exceptions to the thickness rule include Don Quixote and anything by Tad Williams.
As for food items that unlock me: For some reason there was a time when the Hot wings at BW3 used to cause an almost instantaneous Emergency Bowel Evacuation (EBE). Only the Hot. No other flavors there had any noticeable effect. Once I made it 99.9% of the way home (there was some “damage” to my bathroom) and once I just made it into the restroom on site. Recent experiments have not had similar results. I have no idea why.
Also, both times I’ve had food from the convention center in Atlanta I’ve come down with food poisoning. Both had delayed responses above 4 hours, but man, the days that followed were unpleasant.
I mocked those who got an Iphone…Then when the 3G came out, took the plunge…..I’ve only been called on my hypocrisy a couple of times now…..
Every time I eat Indian Food, I can’t be further then 15 mins from my house since it always causes an explosion of fun…. But yeah, still love eating it!
harumpa- Interesting. I always used to get gassy in bookstores. Maybe that’s the reason.
uno cinco!! That’s my new last name!!
I am only impulsive when it comes to women as my track record shows. CD players, MP3’s , big ass TV’s and cell phones can all wait until I am too damn old to care about the only thing I am impulsive about! Hell the only reason I have a computer is to locate willing participants. LOL
and to read the WVSR !
Pioneer Chicken, that place gives me the shits just looking at it. The other item is warm Welch’s grape juice. We were thirsty as all get out one day while stock one of the ship’s lower holds with food supplies. One goofy seaman dropped a case of the grape elixir and cans rolled everywhere. We decide since it was already opened, we may as well drink a couple. Just as soon as I downed the second can, the grumble started. I quickly knew I had to climb up the ladder three decks to get to the nearest head. Just as soon as I got to the top ladder, the tsunami started bashing against my spincter. This was not going good at all and I was at least another 100 ft from the head. Small squirts were sneak past as I squeezed my cheeks even tighter to hold back the ensuing explosion. Just as I turned my butt to the throne, the spincter could hold it no longer and the release was imminent. I had made it with only a millisecond to spare but the the skivies were done for.
I’m so far behind the technology curve, I bought my first dinosaur last year.
Blue cheese (normally crumpled up on a salad) turns everything south of my diaphragm to liquid, in short order.
The diet my wife put me on last week(http://www.seattlesutton.com) makes me stiff leg it multiple times a day. The food’s great, I just need about three more servings per meal…of course then I’d just set up camp in the bafroom for the day.
I’m a selective early adopter. I don’t have a BAT and was late to the iPod game, but bought a netbook and absolutely love it. I do have a BAL/BAM or big ass LCD for the computer at home..30inches and loving it.
I rarely read books unless I travel as I do audiobooks on the iPod Nano everyday. Bluetooth is a must but I have resisted the asshole ear beacon format, it’s speakerphone in the car and wireless mouse and connections for the netbook.
I am an early adopter of beers if that counts. I’ll pick up a couple, two, three of most new beers and give them a try especially this time of year….mmmmmmm Octoberfest.
And Jeff I’m seriously surprised on the nav thing with all the travel your family does…depending on what you buy you can find restaurants, libraries, detours (although not much at 3am), oh and directions at the touch of a button…and connect your phone via bluetooth. I’ll never buy another car without one now, especially for the wife.
Wow…and almost Jorge length comment from me!
Gretchen, hide quick. I think Jason is lurking about.
whenever i walk into a RiteAid I have to go. Doesn’t matter what time of day it is….. must be the smell of the cleaner or something in there… triggers everytime- and guess what….. NO PUBLIC BATHROOM!
I was one of the last people on earff to buy a DVD player. I waited so long that I think it only cost me about 30 doll hairs at Target.
My wife gave me some kind of diet tea a while back. I don’t know what was in it, but I nearly shit myself inside out after just one cup.
I used to have a roommate that would make phone calls while on the toilet. He’d never shut the door either. One time I walked by and he was sitting on the toilet, eating a sandwich. He saw nothing wrong with the situation.
Jason, you should have asked him if the sandwich was that bad, why was he eating it.
I laughed at the idea of subscription radio, then I ended up with an obnoxious commute and took the plunge. Now I can’t stand normal broadcast radio. I just hope it survives the big merger.
Shiny Rod - It was the damndest thing. I hated to walk down the hallway because I never knew when I’d be hit with a cloud of stink, and he’d be sitting there eating a corndog or talking on the phone. He REFUSED to close the door. Weird.
Joe T.,
I believe that would be the Fall of 1980, NOT ‘84. LIAR!
Oh, and I almost forgot. I resisted buying a puke mug for several years. Now I don’t think I could live without it.
He must have gone to one of those schools that didn’t put doors on the shitters. I got to have the door closed and fan on hurricane speed. More for the noise that the funk level. I maintain a 90 day regemine of cleansing and detoxification to keep myself in tip top shape. Here’s what I use to keep me regular.
https://www.evercleanse.com/Default.aspx?mid=502229
McDonalds breakfast. It could happen without even taking a bite. It’s like my stomach just knows its near me and starts to grumble about whats to come. And its not just a certain item on the menu, its the whole damn menu. I kept eating it for a while regardless of what it was doing to me. I finally gave my brother in-law strict orders to punch me in the face if he even hears about me eating McDonalds breakfast. That motivates me to stay very clear.
As my brother Dave likes to say, “We must distinguish between wants and needs. Big difference.”
A good rule of thumb which I personally follow is - don’t buy version 1.0 of *anything*.
Gratification delayed is almost always mucho dollars saved.
Today’s quote: “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” Sun-tzu “The Art Of War”
You ask an interesting question because, despite the fact that I’m a computer sys admin, I’m also a paradox of technology.
Cellphone? Still don’t have one. I make it a point to inform everyone that the number they dial reaches my cordless phone. I don’t want what I view to be a digital leash.
Email? My first account in 1995. Cannot. Live. Without. No, not the earliest by any means but got in before AOL ruined it all.
High speed intarwebs. 1998. Not the earliest adopter around Nashville but still got in while many enjoyed the lush sound of modems handshaking. Started out with cable but these days the DSL is more than enough for my needs — cable modem’s 8x faster than DSL speeds be damned.
Social networking? 2005 (Myspace, 2004 if you count Google’s Orkut which I don’t because it sucked balls). Not an early adopter though there’s been a few people that think I’ve been on there a long time. Mainly to keep up with a few bands but I’ve found it’s the only way I manage to keep up with some friends. I finally caved into the Facebook in early 2006.
iPod. Still own and use my 1st generation 5 gig that I purchased a few months after it came out (then again, I don’t own any of the newer ones of that style). One of the few devices where being an early adopter made sense, especially after I played with it in the store. Not a single regret about that purchase.
iPod Shuffle. Ordered the original stick of gum sized version the day Apple announced it. In my case I wanted something to run with and when the rumors swirled that Apple was about to release something insanely small (and now insanely smaller) I waited until it was announced. As Spinal Tap said “I he looked, and he saw, and it was goooooooddddd!”
CD. Got my first CD player in 1989 (not early but you could still find vinyl in some stores still) which was followed shortly thereafter by the purchase of the CD “Hot Moves” featuring Information Society’s “Pure Energy”, Salt n’ Pepa’s “Push It” and L’Trimm’s “Cars With The Boom” amongst some late 80’s dance type music. Still have that CD today.
DVD. Don’t remember when I joined the party (late 90’s, early 00’s) but it was late enough that my Dad thought nothing of giving me a cheap one that I still use in return for fixing a computer. Might actually replace it in the next week with a non Blu-Ray one.
TV. Still rocking the 27″ heavy as hell Sony that I purchased from a moving co-worker almost 10 years ago. Thinking about replacing it but it keeps working and my pocketbook says to let it keep working.
DTV receiver. Having had cable and finding I have no use for 57 channels and nothing on I’ve watched a few too many college basketball games where it appeared to have 20 players running up and down the court as a result of the rabbit ears. The minute the government announced their hand out I applied for my coupon and then set about finding the best receiver. I pulled the trigger not long after my coupon arrived (April?!) and have enjoyed a few new channels, nevermind generally good reception and digital cable like features. I’m still not home enough to make the most use of it but at least it’s not costing me $70 a month to maintain.
Bluetooth. Unless I get a mouse or a keyboard or some such there’s no other use for it in my book (see cellphone). Even if I had a cellphone I’m not about to look like a techno ‘tard wearing one of those damn flashing earpieces.
I’d still be without heated seats if they did not come in my car (now 7 years old) but damn if they’re not nice. Especially when my back is bothering me. I had to convince a friend that it did not feel like you had peed your pants when using the heat.
I should mention that I’m also a licensed ham radio operator (not CB!) and have a radio in my car. You know, in case of nuclear war or some other emergency that requires two way radio communication with the occasional person that has not seen a shower in 20 years.
BREAKING NEWS!!! Phish is getting back together. Let Nancy know its time to start growing her pubes long again…..
I am decidedly not an early adoptor.
Being a frugal bastard tends to cast a wry eye to overpriced toys until they prove themselves. If I have an immediate use for it, you bet. I have two GPS’s, and am looking at a third (I find them convienient). TV on the other hand, meh, I still use my old commodore 1702 monitor for tv viewing. When it dies I’ll get a tuner card for the computer and enjoy tv in all its lcd glory.
Yeah, those puke mugs come in handy on camping trips to “the hill.”
Chicken broth makes me poop, a lot! I guess it’s because I pour it all over raw chicken…just for flavor.
It was weird to see other people who get gassed up in book/cd/DVD stores.It never fails when I go into one of these stores my guts cramp up sumptin awful. When the kids were little we would call it the farting store. What could it be? Formeldahyde perhaps?
Bluetooth? Isn’t that what you get from eating Blackberries?
I have a hard time imagining myself buying and using an onboard GPS system in my car — but then again, there was a time when I had a hard time imagining myself “downloading” porn.
Colonic sluice activators? Danish with any type of cream cheese filling. Soup with more than a teaspoon of barley. Lentils.
Being in my mid-40’s, I am somewhat of a late adopter of techy stuff. I thought iPods were the stupidest thing ever…until I got one. I have a cell phone, but that’s about as far as I go..I just don’t care to communicate that much….I’m mysterious.
Ok, big screen Plasma tv’s, DVD’s, that’s cool too, but car navigation systems? What’s wrong with a map & a good sense of direction? Geez,, kids today! What coddled, little crybabies they are..
Oh & I am still in the driver’s seat when it comes to my colon.
McDonald’s does it to me too…every frickin time!!
And P.S. Can anyone tell me what a “Puke Mug” is…I think I may need one????
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…………………….
Another rare correspondence from the home station. But after several beers, a successful endeavor of scratching PA instant lottery tickets and celebrating survival of yet another month in the car bidness, I’m in for my 2 cents worth.
Technology? Whitebread, please.
Although I’ve had access to the world wide webs for several years now, I am on the failing end of the curve.
No cell phone, no i-pod, no digi-camera, no B.A.T. plasma flat screen. Sans wireless laptop, blue tooth(totally pretentious, look at ME I am so freakin’ important), fiber optic, techno-savvy , the latest and greatest. Funk ‘dat. JK is right , look at the money saved.
I have a dry roof, a ‘fridge full of food and drink.Clean clothes on my back and the bills are paid. But then again, I work said arse off to keep those things.
Go ahead, call me freak.
Closing comment on foods that go straight through. ….Nothing specifically every time type of things, but have had the near death , sweet Jeebus take me now, who served bad shellfish, I’ll never eat again experience. When that happens it is always an immediate now situation.
Well, hey kids, that was fun , got to go, bye.
In my cups, this is JCIII reporting.
Got the BAT, the GPS, the bluetooth….years after they came on the market. I’m one of those ‘oh we didn’t need it but now that we have it I can’t imagine life without it’ people. Now, if I can rationalize a DVR somehow…
No foods that move me, but if I drink more than 2 liters of water a day, watch out. And hey, isn’t taking a big ol’ dump one of the best feelings ever?
@Bill in WV:
Are you sure you don’t mean feta cheese?
Cause that is what I was going to say.
I LOVE feta cheese, except for that one drawback.
@Funky
I am so jealous you have a netbook. Which one did you go with? It is very rare for me pine for a new gadget (believe it or not) but I have never owned a laptop and the price on those netbooks are do-able.
Not an early adapter. Ever.
I ignored the iPod fascination because I am not a huge music lover. However, the video capabilities of the Nano has changed my life. I watch tech shows anywhere I want. Nice to be freed from the PC. Plan to purchase Season 3 of Dexter if iTunes ever offers it so I don’t have to pay for showtime again.
Link for Jeff:
Saw this yesterday and thought that you would like it
Album Covers Map
http://www.wordmagazine.co.uk/album_atlas/add.php
Like several other Surf Reporters, McDonald’s makes me trot. I may as well buy it and throw it straight into the toilet.
DISCLAIMER: I haven’t eaten McDonald’s since 1997, so I have to say it USED TO give me the shits.
Happy Wednesday, Surfers!
~and another thing. These kids today, with their hi-speed internet and their one hit weed. Why, in my day, it took three days to get a message through, and we drank hard cider and snorted burlap to get our kicks.
I’m a late bloomer on the technology wagon for frugal reasons also. I figure if I lived without it this long, I can wait a year or two more until the price comes down.
But, speaking of subscription radio…my husband (believe it or not) brought up the idea of subscription radio, oh, about 5 years after cable TV really hit the market. I told him then “nobody is going to pay for something they can get for free.” He brought up people paying for TV and I said “this is different…music is music.” Not that he would have had the means to get the business started, but he still loves to tell people that he actually thought of it before it was invented.
Jeff…do you live in the backwoods or what? Sunkist orange soda is sold is every store in my area AND as fountain drinks at all of the Subways, McDonalds, Sonics, etc. Can’t believe they are so scarce where you live.
That’s all…I’m out…
I went from a two color grey phone to a Blackberry and it was like B&W TV to HD.
We bought a BAT in 94 as a 52 projection and just replaced it with a 73 Mitsubiti 1080P tv. WOW, its unbelieveable on the HD stations. Well worth every penny ( bought it as a old model closeout for 2K, new in box).
Oranges, or any orange derived product (like Orange Juice) immediately (within half an hour at least) make me release my bowels. Interestingly though, I love the taste of fresh oranges, but it’s my kryptonite.
Jeffs reaction to Sunkist Orange reminded me of my reaction to seeing bottles of Orange Crush at my local store.
Orange Crush! So 1970’s
Mmmmmm
Quinoa (an obscure hippie grain) always seems to open the floodgates for me. It doesn’t taste that great anyway, so just gives me an even better reason to ignore its existence.
Fettucine Alfredo! I haven’t eaten it since about 1986 for that reason.
I hated the thought of mobile phones at first. Who the heck wants to be available anywhere at anytime? I found out how to have one for my benefit alone - I don’t give anyone the number!
JCIII- Burlap? Really?
” I also note that I don’t recall seeing anything much thicker than ¾” with an “Oprah’s book club” sticker”
Erm, East of Eden, much?
In any case, anything with a cream sauce kicks me in the tush, due to lactose intolerance.
And I’ve had the pleasure of being on somewhat of the forefront of technology… a computer in our home since 1980-1982, the internet during down times at my dad’s office in 1993/1994… at least, these were before anyone else I knew had this stuff.
Spicy Popeye’s chicken strips…..cures the constipation….
I laughed my ass off
and thought
I HAVE to share this with my WVSR cronies
beeker: ode to joy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpcUxwpOQ_A
GNDtn- Sorry, that went over my head. East of Eden?
Adam, I’m with you on the vodka. Last month I did a couple shots before going to work. I was almost to the door, farted, and had a HUGE assplosion that woaked the back of my pants.
So, in answer to Jeff’s question, yeah, vodka does it to me.
I don’t think it exists now, but about two,tree decades ago, there used to be a “Chipwich” ice cream sandwich. I’d get one o’ dem sumbitches off the truck and BAM!
Rockets red glare.
@clintCurtis. I laughed out loud that was funny.
I had be spoiled on the gadget front. I had a boyfriend that thought if he needed it, I needed it. I have 2 Ipods, a kick ass phone, Tivo, DVR and all that jazz……I need to give him a call.
I am lactose intolerant and it sucks. I cant eat pizza, ice cream, cream sauce, carrot cake, yogurt, etc.
but when I was in holland, germany, and austria a few years back. the dairy over there did not bother me. and I was there for a total of 9 months. I think they do something different to the milk when they get it from the dairy.
And eggs. I cant eat more that one egg. gets me scrambling for the door.
So not being able to pinpoint what foods send me pogoing to the porcelein, i asked JR,
JR, i says, what foods make me power poop? i says
JR’s response - JESUS what foods DON’T?
so i got that going for me
K-Mart used to make my sister crap - as soon as she walked in the door she would have to make a beeline for the toilet. She swore for years that they used subliminal messaging to get you to have to peruse all the departments ALLLLLL the way back, where the bathroom was inconveniently located. Maybe that is why they started on the long decline to bankruptcy….. it obviously wasn’t a good marketing ploy.
White Castle! Need I say more!
Crush is better than sunkist. Strawberry crush in a glass bottle is one damned fine drink.
Nothing drinkable makes me shit. However when things get…sorta slow…I have the perfect medicine. McDonald’s. Now for me this is quite the process because living out in the sticks the nearest McDonald’s, the nearest fast food for that matter is 60 miles away. No pizza delivery or driving a few blocks for taco bell. Nope it’s a 120 mile round trip. Anyway, if I really want to clean out the old colon I fast for a day or two and order the following :
A Double Quarter Pounder With Cheese Value Meal With A large Chocolate Shake.
A Big Mac Value Meal With A Large Chocolate Shake
Two Double Cheese Burgers (or McRib if they’re in season) And A Large Coke.
There ladies and gentlemen you have all of the ingredients for a spectacular gut bomb. In the hour or so drive I will get though most if not all of the food, both shakes and be working on the Coke. About the time I hit my county I can feel it working in my gut and by the time I’m pulling in my lane explosion is imminent. I put the coke in the fridge (for after) and go take care of business.
Needless to say getting pulled over by the cops or hitting an accident or any sort of delay is a cause for great concern. It’s coming and there is no stopping it.
I bought my first GPS, a Garmin, in 1999.
I used it for work, marking locations & stuff like that.
I believe it cost close to $400 and it took forever to locate enough satellite signals to work.
Last week I bought a “Tom Tom Go 720″ and I’m amazed how much more useful the new GPS devices are. This little box will recite the driving directions for you if you let it.
I love digital photography. I use an Olympus C8080, a Nikon D3 and a Nikon D200, depending on the situation. Adobe’s Photoshop is fun. But it demands a fast computer, so I’m frequently replacing motherboards, hard drives, processors (quad core or bust), video cards and memory.
I still use a SONY 20″ television I bought in 1988.
I’m convinced that if I buy a new Big *ss TV the manufacturers will wait a week then release the Next New Technology.
I still have yet to get a TIVO or DVR, though I gave my sister one as a birthday present a few years back.
I’m drinking a Sunkist as I read this! Sunkist is good stuff.
I was convinced for years that TiVos/DVRs were a waste of money (they’re just VCRs without tapes, right?), but now I’m not sure how I lived without it.
I’m a VERY late technology adopter. I just got my first HOME computer 2 years ago. I still have a tv so old that it only has 1 coaxial input on the back…actually, I have 2 tv’s like that, and those little converter boxes to go with them. I do have an ipod, but no way to listen to it in the car. I have 2 dvd players, and still run my cable through the vcr. I do have wireless cable internet though.
“Moving” meals….anything from ChickFilA has me running. If I have a sugary breakfast, you better watch out. Coffee is like drain cleaner to my body..it pushes everything out.
Since I’ve taken up eating healthy, if anything has been fried, I find myself running redlights and screaming at traffic to “move it b*tch, I have poo”. Ice cream has a similar effect.
Ryan’s macroni & beef………hee, hee
I just got called into work, and tomorrow’s not going to be a good day either. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to update again, but I’ll do what I can.
It could be worse, however. Nancy and the Gang were supposed to be here this weekend, because they had Monday off for Canadian Thanksgiving. They went through the whole planning process, prepared extra stank-food for the road, etc. Then, yesterday afternoon, they realized Canadian Thanksgiving is NEXT Monday. So they’re not coming.
See ya soon.
Where do the old Bunker Photos go? I meant to send the secretary photo to a friend on mine.
Second sip of a Rum & Coke and it’s ASS-plosion time baby!!!!
I work in IT on a helpdesk.
I still have a dialup at home.
Have a cell phone that I hardly ever use.
Still use a cassette player walkman when I walk around the block.
I do have a scanner which I bought with my first computer.
None of my stuff is wireless except the cell phone naturally.
I do have a piece of crap digital camera that cost me about 40 bucks and does what I need it to do which ain’t that often.
The best part of technology is not having to go out of my house to do my Christmas shopping.
Oh yeah. Ice cream and raisin bran give me incredibly nasty gas and then the inevitable earthquake.
Great Googly Moogly. Where the fuck do you live?
Back in the day my thing in the morning was: 2 cigs, 2 coffee’s, 2 shits. I had a friend that at just the thought of doing coke he would have to shit…Oh the orange soda thing. When I was a kid I loved the shit. Loved it so much I ran up to my Grandmothers steps and guzzeled what I thought was a bottle of it….Turned out to be gasoline. Went for the stomach pump on that one.Thank God I dont remember any of it….
Philadelphia
I’m also a cheap bastard, er, I mean “late adopter”. No DVR, BATV, GPS, laptop, and only buy videogames after they hit the $10 shelf.
I did “splurge” on a 2GB MP3 player to indulge my “rented” music weakness. I spend 50-60 hours a week listening to Rhapsody, and am perhaps too familiar with what is and isn’t in that database.
And I’m another with zero social networking accounts, but that’s more out of paranoia and a desire to minimize my digital information footprint.
And, I too will raise one cheek for McDonalds. Particularly the few times I indulged in that prince of foods, the Sausage, Egg, and Cheese McGriddle. Heck, just READING the words “Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese” made me fart.
Got the BATV this spring. Got Sirius as soon as Stern announced he was going there. I didn’t think I’d listen very much until Howard made the move but I loved it right off the bat.
I love techno shit. Have the DVR ,BAT cameras ipods you name it. I love the internet also. Just e-mailed the DNC headquarters to see if they could get Tina Fay over to the debate. It would be great to see her sitting in the front row…
I am a ‘late adopter’ (cheap bastard) and my husband is a ‘must haver’ so we usually end up with a sufficient amount of new technology at a reasonably deflated price.
Jorge, I believe that GNDtn was referring to your generalization that the Oprah book club books are generally ¾” think and that you “suspect that reading anything on that list is only slightly less painful than slamming my dangly bits in a car door” East of Eden by John Steinbeck was one of her selections weighing in at 608 pages. Other selections include:
The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett (976 pages)
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy (864 pages)
Light in August by William Faulkner (528 pages)
The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
The full list may be found here:
http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahsbookclub/pastselections/20080701_orig_list
I meant ”¾” thick ‘ of course:0)
@greg t, maybe the RNC should drop Palin and pick up Faye. That should a least give them a boost in the IQ department.
pagan, I’m with you on that one. Nothin clears the room like a bag of White Castle Hamburgers, Onion Chips and Chocolate Shake.
CC: As I Lay Dying??!! Are you serious! Holy crap, I hated that book! The sentence “My mother is a fish.” constitutes one whole chapter! WTF?!
Dig Carson McCullers, though.
cc- Thanks!
Here are the books on that list that I’ve read:
Fall on Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald
-Seriously, if you ever want to feel like you’ve just slammed your wedding tackle in a sliding glass door, read it. One more chapter and I’d have blown my brains out. Worst. Book. EVER.
The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
- Another inspirational tale of famine, heartbreak, adultery and disappointment.
Night by Elie Wiesel
-Yep, nothing says entertainment like The Holocaust.
Thanks Oprah!
Jorge - I stick with the masters of insomnia, Microsoft Press and IBM Red Books. No disappointing reads there.
Citizen X your link led me to the tourettes guy’s videos OMG he is hilarious. Thanks for the link!
Gretchen-I didn’t say that they were good, just long-which Jorge said was his criteria There are some excellent books on the list (Pillars of the Earth!) but I have certainly not read them all!
As far as long books go, specifically long Stephen King books, I am surprised that Ol’ Stephen didn’t gnaw off his own hand when writing The Stand-it was interminable. He could have easily lopped 250 pages off of that Lunesta Fiesta and still had a good book. If you want to read a great (and long) King book, try It. It will also remind you of Jeff’s recent post about things we remember that are no longer around. (At least you may remember, having no idea how old you are-the lion’s share of the book takes place in the late fifties).c
The only SK books I care for are: The Stand, The Talisman, Black House, and of course, The Dark Tower.
CC: Little young for the fifties references. :o) Stephen King doesn’t float my boat anyway. Actually, I’m generally not a reader of fiction, probably because I was an English major. I think I burnt out on novels around “Ulysses”. ;o) I tend towards historical books, works about real people and events. I leave it to movies to provide the fiction. Incidentally, “The Shining” is still my favorite “horror/suspense” movie, though King disapproved of it. Chump.
Shiny Rod- From someone else who knows what an IBM Red Book is…Cool! The best tech “books” ever.
Gretchen,
Honestly, I am a little young for the fifties myself, I was born in ‘64 but King still seemed to capture the essence of my carefree/worn youth:0) Did you ever see the ‘The Shining’ TV-miniseries remake that King wrote the screenplay for and approved? Having read the novel, it was much more the thing. The characters were truer; the casting better (no matter how much you like Jack Nicholson and with the exception of Scatman Crothers who was perfect) as were the special effects and he really shows you Jack’s mental disintegration. They have it on Netflix if you are a member.
And if you are ever interested in mixing your history/fiction, I just finished Pompeii by Robert Harris on Mr. Moo’s recommendation and it was simply excellent.c
CC: I was born in ‘72. I did see “The Shining” miniseries and found it to be truer to the book, but for me it didn’t have quite the same level of psychological dread and horror that Kubrick’s version/revision brought to the table. Plus I couldn’t stand the actor playing the kid!
Not to get all fee-ilm school on you, but one of the special things that always gets to me about Kubrick’s rendition, aside from the random crazy images that remain imprinted in my brain, is how in almost every shot inside the hotel everything is perfectly symmetrical. I think this was a subtle way to suggest that the hotel was in complete control of everything, a visual cue of its domination over the characters. It’s touches like that which impress me, as a visual person myself. Not that I’m a fan of all Kubrick’s work, mind you. I can’t get through “2001: A Space Odyssey.” without wanting to ram my skull into something hard. But I can appreciate that film’s influence on later sci-fi cinema, at least.
Thanks for the recommendation of “Pompei.” The true story of the doomed ancient city is one of the many events that interest me and while I tend towards nonfiction works I certainly like the novelization of historical events almost as much. Tell me, does any character cavort in the House of Vetti? Ha ha. ;oP
Citizenx- that was hilarious, Thank you!! (meep!)
I am definitely a late adopter. I don’t own a laptop, a flat panel TV or any i-pod-like device. yet. And my cell phone is almost 3 years old and still has a wire to the ear piece. Then again, i have no bluetooth to charge either.
I actually went to i-tunes the other day just to check it out and I was overwhelmed. I imagine that it is easier than I think it is, but ugh. I would have to pay someone to rip and load my device- I’d have no patience for that.
And I desperately want (and am starting to need) a laptop for work.
Somebody please hold me?*
* C. thewvsr/Jeff Kay All rights reserved.
Late-late-late adapter, if at all. Using Windows 98 on a PC of the same vintage. No cell phone, no Bluetooth, no laptop, no iPod, no digital camera, no big-screen (or digital) TV, not even a digital watch (mine has hands). Parts of my stereo (turntable, receiver) will be 30 years old in January. Bought new speakers, tho, and a tape deck and a CD player. Bet they’re, like, 15.
Did buy daughter the car nav when she went to grad school in Connecticut. That shit’s cool.
@Diane
OMG I never laughed so hard.
That video rocked.
Citizen X, Diane: Tourettes Guy is always hilarious. I think the “Best Of” video collapsed my esophagus.
Yes Gretchen, I had a good time at lunch. It was nice meeting you. You’re taller than I thought you’d be. Give me a call at work sometime and we’ll do it again.
WTF? Is there any reason why certain folk(s) here like to yank my chain? Did I do something to offend? As far as I can tell I’ve been posting things in a similar tone and subject to everyone else. I don’t know why I’ve been singled out for this sort of bullshit.
Don’t worry about it Gretchen. When you said you were an English major they probably thought you were like Diane on Cheers. I bet you are a very nice girl.
Sorry Gretchen. I told you I’d stop playing around like that and I have (I think).
I just watched a 9 minute video of “Tourettes Guy” and nearly pissed my pants. It’s not considered “pissing your pants” if the wet spot is less than the size of a golf ball, right?
Well if you’re gonna act like you’re two, Jason, then I suppose pissing your pants is appropriate.
Wait, did someone delete some posts or whatnot? I’m not seeing who’s being naughty to Gretchen, and I’m totally up for another rant.
Fill me in, please?
“Chester Jones”, right above me up there at the 2:19 mark. Add that to some of the posts on Tuesday and I’m ready for a thrown down myself, Tiff. Which, by the way, your rant was awesome to behold.
Back in ‘81, while I was in college in Hoboken, NJ (the mile square city) McDonalds brought back the “McRib”, and for some reason, we were compelled to walk right past Blimpie Base #1 (the original Blimpie’s) and have a McRib right before our Chemistry lecture. About a half-hour into every Chem lecture, this intestinal blockage would form, which demanded attention, and I’d have to leave the large lecture hall, which meant opening and closing those huge, hundred-plus year old lecture hall doors. This would cause everyone to look at me and wonder why I couldn’t make it through one Chem lecture. What the hell is in those McRibs?
Speaking of King novels. I just finished Dreamcatcher. It wasn’t one of his best I’d say, but it certainly had a few unforgettable moments. Has anyone seen the movie? There are alien things that grow in peoples intestines he lovingly referred to as shit weasles. I’d have to say The Stand, The Talisman, Cujo, Carrie, and From a Buick 8 were about my favorites. I love John Saul and Bently Little too.
I can’t believe I’m posting this, but… Arby’s. Just the plain old roast beef sandwich with Horsey Sauce. Every time I eat one (and it isn’t very often, but you’d think I’d be smart enough to stop altogether) an emergency rapidly ensues. What is IN that “meat,” or is it the bread, or the Horsey Sauce? Who can tell? But whatever it is, it is very effective.
I am a medium adopter. Not bleeding edge by any sense of the imagination but not a Luddite either.
in January I had adopted five technologies that I can’t live without which I had frowned upon previously
1: My Garmin [it knows where I am going so I don't have to]
2: My Palm email anywhere
3: Querty keyboard on my cell [no more guessing ]
4: EZPass no more digging for tolls or stopping
5:Nintendo DS Toys I love toys
Jeff,
FYI…your ads vs. reality Pulitzer caliber series is featured on Othercrap today.
Happy to say I realize I’m pretty much constitutionaly sound.
First computer, five years ago. One DVD, one VCR. No cell, no IPod. Didgital camera, (under $200, tons of features and I love it). Keep a GPS in my backpack just because. No remote backcountry hikes, just trails I know. No real tech stuff. I guess I have no need/ application for most the stuff. I just realized I don’t have an electric can opener. Is that odd?
Happy weekend to all.-d
Got a DIGITAL camera. crap!
I’ve not heard from you for a while now Jeff.
I hope everythings ok.
your colonial cousin ( re ‘the colonies’ not the other thing!)
Ian
Jorge, I was also referring to East of Eden as a book that most definitely is nothing like slamming anything in a car door.
Along with some of my favorites on there:
Middlesex, White Oleander, Midwives, both Wally Lambs, Breath Eyes Memory… those are books I read and re-read… at least 3 times for some of them, more than 5 for others.
GNDtn- My wife has one of the Wally Lamb books. Neither of us has read it, but on your recommendation I’ll read it as soon as I finish the book I’ve got now.
But know, if I experience any pain I shall have words for you. Strong, strong words.
I’m an “early adopter” of updates.
thanks for nothin’ y’ Yuengling guzzlin’ pants splitter.
In about 1994 or 1995 I paid $100 for a 9600 baud modem. One Hundred Dollars.
This is kind of embarrasing, but the big ‘I don’t get it’ for me was… the internet. It seemed kind of interesting, but when Bill G at Microsoft sent out that big email that they had to get on the Internet thingee, pronto, I was pretty surprised. “What’s the big deal?”
Anyway, I still think I was pretty right on that one : )
Lately, it was text messaging. “Why type on those tiny keypads when you can just call?” Shows what I know.
Let me tell you buddy! I live in the midwest (columbus ohio) and up here we have a thing called White Castle.
The nickname is sliders because guess what they do.
Worst part is your runny crap smells just like them slill!