Doing the Thursday Purge
One of the irrefutable Surf Report Rules of Thumb is that “nobody cares about the weird dream you had last night.” I know it, all the way down to my skeleton (which is a long way), but still feel compelled to tell you about the one I had earlier this week…
Toney and I were in London, you see, inside a huge crowd. It might’ve been at Trafalgar Square, I’m not sure, and people were everywhere.
Since I don’t like being trapped in a crush of humanity, I was mildly panicked and trying to get away from the chaos. And when we finally escaped, I realized there was something in my right jacket pocket. The crap?
Turns out it was a cheap digital camera, that I’d never seen before, with eleven images already saved in the memory. I showed it to Toney, and she said we should take a look at the pictures.
And every one of them featured a young girl, maybe fourteen or fifteen years old, lying on a bed in various states of undress.
What in the finger-snappin’ hell?? Was I being set-up? Would somebody be jumping from the crowd soon, with a tall-hat cop in tow, and pointing at me: “There he is officer! That fat fuck in the Brooklyn Dodgers cap!!”
Completely stressed, I asked Toney how we should get rid of the camera. We finally decided we’d throw it down a sewer, so fingerprints couldn’t be lifted from it.
And for the remainder of the dream (until the real-life Toney woke me up), we were power-walking through the streets of London, frantically looking for a sewer opening, or a storm drain. And there weren’t any!
When the real Toney shook me awake my heart was racing and I was overcome by paranoia. Even after I’d hoisted myself off the platform, and was standing up in the small room, I had a strong sense someone had been chasing me – someone who didn’t have my best interests at heart.
And what in the heck does all that mean??
I’m having trouble reading, all of a sudden. There’s never much free time in my life, and even under the best of circumstances it takes far too long for me to finish a book. But now it’s become completely ridiculous.
I always see people on TV curled up on a windowsill seat, wearing a giant sweater, with one hand wrapped around a huge coffee mug, serenely reading the pages of some great scholarly work. But that ain’t me.
For one thing, I don’t wear sweaters; they make me itch and look like my grandmother’s couch come to life. And I don’t perch my big ass on windowsills, either; believe me, nothing good would come from such an exercise. No, I’m lucky if I can squeeze-out five pages in bed, before I start going all rubbery and looking like Gomer in a gas leak.
Suddenly, however, I can’t manage even five pages. I fall asleep after a couple of paragraphs, and nothing holds my interest. Even though I’m completely opposed to such things, I’ve abandoned several books within fifty pages recently, and am just generally floundering around.
It’s disturbing. I love to read, but just can’t get a rhythm going anymore.
I’m thinking about turning it into a challenge, and possibly attacking The Stand, once and for all. I bought a copy of it, maybe a year ago, and the thing is huge. Here’s a photo of me with it, after I got it home.
Perhaps if I turn it into a project, some sort of wager with myself, I can get my shit correct again? Of course, it’ll likely take me months to read, but if I treat it like a dare of sorts, maybe it’ll make the difference?
Yeah, I’m not sure that’s the correct strategy – it could trigger a perma-lock – but I’m considering it. Any opinions?
Our dog Andy hates Fritos. He’ll eat almost literally anything, but lets Fritos fall out the side of his mouth. He doesn’t like mustard either, or anything that’s come in contact with onions. Just thought you should know.
I saw this article a few days ago, about the dwindling firefly population. And that’s sad, I guess, but they’re called lightning bugs. “Firefly” irritates me, almost as much as “underpants,” and “supper.”
What words bother you like that? What’s your personal firefly? Tell us about it, won’t you?
On a semi-related note… it really gets on my nerves when TV weather people use the phrase “cone of uncertainty,” when talking about the projected path of a hurricane. Is that something they’re supposed to say now? Was it featured in the weatherman newsletter last month? FLASH: cone of uncertainty is the hot new catchphrase this season! Don’t be left behind, use it today!!
They can all kiss my ass-meat.
And what do you think about TVs in the bedroom? Toney and I share an opinion that bedrooms should be a sanctuary, free from chaos and noise, and have never considered putting a television in ours.
But the oldest Secret is lobbying for one, since we have an extra in the basement… We told him it wasn’t going to happen (and it won’t), but Toney and I had a conversation about it recently, and I wonder if our strong opinions on the subject are common?
So what do you say? Are we alone in this?
And that’s about all the relish I can muster… I hope everyone remembered to repeatedly flinch today. I’ll try to start reminding ya’ll on Wednesdays.
We’re going out to dinner tonight, to either Kildare’s or Texas Roadhouse, to belatedly celebrate our anniversary. And I predict a few adult beverages will fall; I am officially putting every one of them on notice. Pass the beer nuts.
Tomorrow is an off-day, but I’ll probably update over the weekend sometime. So check back, my friends.
And I’ll see ya soon.
Filed under: Daily
FIRST!
Dos!!
Wow, what a rush. I’m having trouble reading too, Jeff. I belong to a book club, and I have 7 days left to get through this month’s selection. I haven’t even started it! We’re expecting bad weather here in the cone of uncertainty this weekend, so maybe I’ll get some of it read (if the power goes out or something).
Balls!
I keep having this one where I’m a rocketship and I’m about to fly into a train tunnel. Down at the end of the tunnel is my mom preparing to spank me with a hairbrush. Anybody know what that means?
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters………….
i’m a big reader too, but once in a while i got through a phase where i have trouble. don’t force it, it’ll come back eventually. try reading magazines or something else light for awhile.
i agree with you guys – no tvs in the bedroom. besides, everytime he got grounded, you’d have to go in there an haul it out again. not worth the trouble.
Happy Anniversary!
I never had a TV in the bedroom as a kid, and as soon as I went off to college I have always had a TV in my bedroom and never used it. Don’t get me wrong, I watch ton’s of TV. I’ve even got a TiVo for the bedroom TV… but there’s just something strange to me about watching TV in my bedroom and I almost never do.
My husband still uses the word “rouge” for make-up- He’s only 42!
Taking away tenth1
no TV in the dormancy chamber.
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
I am a firefly/supper/bedroom-TV guy. That’s just the way I roll.
I got 10 bucks that says Jeff can’t finish the Stand by December 31, 2008.
no onions for dogs here,no tv in my bedroom,but do have 1 in kids room. i hate ole lady,ole man. wait for cooler weather that reading will come back,and i have enough of my own weird dreams to worry about.
Buggy is my personal Firefly when used instead of cart but I’m ok with it used in the sense of Amish horse drawn buggy.
Also my bf says he is going “food shopping” and it just irritates the hell out of me, it’s grocery shopping dammit grocery shopping!
I have a TV in my bedroom but rarely watch it anymore as I now read in bed. My children both have TV’s in their rooms and the youngest one turns it on every night and is asleep before the first scene concludes. The older one rarely uses hers anymore and I fear she may be up to other unscrupulous activities after lights out or she might just prefer reading like her mom.
So I am pro TV in the bedroom, if you can be such a thing.
No teevee in the BR.
The Things have one, but it’s for playing the Xbox/PSwhatever they’ve got in there.
As for reading? If I dont’ MAKE time, it doesn’t get done. By the time I fall into bed at night I can’t see straight enough to read anyhow, and usually won’t remember what I’ve read the next day.
The Stand…an excellent read indeed. I myself have read it 5 times…2 of those being the “uncut” version, with about 100 extra pages and a new 1st chapter. I highly recommend reading it, but only after you’ve read the one you’ve got, so as to better appreciate the differences. But for the love of all that is good, DO NOT watch the sh*teous tv movie/miniseries crapfest they made a few years back. Its infuriatingly BAD!!!
I am pro-TV in the bedroom.
I have one question though… what happend in the bunker cam picture? I am still puzzled as to what could have exploded so much to lodge a lid in the ceiling, move a shelf/hooks/pots a few inches and splatter something everywhere!
“He’s coming in to his own”.
I hate that phrase and have never understood it.
His own what?
Utilized. I don’t think it is a word. Folks who use it are trying to sound as if they have more edumacation than they actually do.
TVs should not be in kids’ bedrooms. As your child gets a little older you will see less and less of them– Finally you will find yourself delivering meals to their room and meeting them as a stranger outside the hall bath.
Grown ups NEED TVs in their bedrooms for the prono.
We don’t have lightning bugs in Florida. I have always missed them.
I read a lot. I kindle.
We have TVs in bedrooms we don’t even use–you know, just in case.
A day late but happy to see the return of ‘Now playing in the bunker’ – all we need now is to get ‘Go Girl Crazy’ into the 8-track player !!!!
I’m good with a TV in the bedroom – it’s handy for bouts of insomnia and besides, if I’m getting sleepy, I’d rather be curled up comfy in bed watching TV, then in the living room.
I prefer “underpants” to “panties”. Panties bug me for some reason. BUt I usually just call’em underwear.
We have the same TV policy. No TV’s in the bedrooms. Mostly, this is the wife’s policy as I had one in my bedroom before we were married. But I am on board now.
The Evil Twin and I have a small TV in our room (for the rare times we’re feeling like adult entertainment is inorder). Our ten year old has a TV in his room also. He has a Wii and we didn’t want it hooked to the main TV.
I hate when people say buggy instead of cart in shopping situations. (I hear it constantly here in WV, though). And when people say sweeper instead of vacuum. Gah, it drives me nuts!
Gave up reading as I’d fall asleep too soon to make any progress. Now I fall asleep to the bedroom TV. My daughter also has a TV in her room as well. Back when we still lived in a house we even had a TV in our kitchen. My goal was to eventually install a TV in the bathroom, so I wouldn’t miss any Sienfeld re-runs while taking a crap.
I think we’ve been over this before, but just to be clear, onions are poisonous to dogs. Keep em away.
Yes for TV in the bedroom, but only for morning news and Saturday afternoon nap inducement. No general watchin’.
Start The Stand, that should correct things. Christ, I just read that Bill Bryson in 4 days and I’m not even a reader.
I am with Lew. The stand is the best and I read it yearly. And every time I start feeling a creepy cold a coming on…
The dream probably signified your flagging sex life and desire to spice it up, but your fear of Toney thinking you’re a disgusting pervert or possibly that she’d even be into it and then with her approaching sexual peak, surpassing you and possibly trading you in as her main sex partner, which is causing you greater and greater anxiety every time you type your creepy password into SheJailBait.com
Actually it’s probably more likely your morbid fear of a cheap piece of technology. The girl probably had nothing to do with it.
susan I could not agree with you more about the buggy word instead of cart or carriage, you see I grew up outside of lancaster about 45 mins, and I also grew up in the horse world driving horses to carriages. Spent 15 years doing it competively. And it makes my blood boil when people say “lets go for a buggy ride!”
I LOVE lighting bugs. I used to take their little lights off and place them on my finger where a ring would be, and put them in jars in my bedroom (live bugs not just the lights.)
and no TV’s in the bedroom.
the only thing that should go on in the bedroom/on the bed is sex and sleeping. which is why you are falling asleep when you read. try sitting on a comfy chair or on a hammock.
I like to watch T.V. in the bedroom while eating my supper in my underpants!
Wait no that’s not me that’s Stephen King!
I have read the Stand at least four times. One of his best IMO. I love having a Teevee in the bedroom so I can watch my Turner classic movies or whatever, and relax. It’s good since my H doesn’t appreciate most things I like to watch. I hate the expression “jump on the bandwagon”. When was the last time you saw a bandwagon, if ever? I hate it when people say “anyhoo” It’s not a word but most times when my husband takes a drink he goes ahhh afterwards. It is most annoying but I think it comes from when he was on a ventilator and almost died. He chokes rather easily.So I guess I can deal with it.
“most times when my husband takes a drink he goes ahhh afterwards. It is most annoying but I think it comes from when he was on a ventilator and almost died. He chokes rather easily.So I guess I can deal with it.”
Best post ever!
I hate “bathing suit”. I know it is a regionalism, but dammit, it sounds do pretentious. We say “swimsuit” in Michigan (where I am from).
We have a tv in the bedroom, but we only use it in emergencies, like tornados. (Can’t hear the tv in the living room from the “safe” spot.)
i don’t like the word panties. I just discovered that I don’t like typing it either. I say words in my head as I type them and I don’t type all that fast, so I just said p-a-n-t-i-e-s all slow in my head as i typed and now i feel dirty.
this is only semi-related, but it also irritates me deeply when people start every other sentence with the phrase “I mean,…” Just say what you mean and mean it so that you don’t have to explain before you say it that you mean it. urgh.
Mostly though, when people talk, if their mouth makes weird movements, if a tongue slips out when it’s not supposed to, or if the bottom lip droops down more on one side or something, i begin to focus on that, and it bothers me more than any word that could possibly come out of their mouth.
If someone formulated a sentence like “I mean, my panties are purple.” with a crooked mouth, it would be full-on body shiver time. In fact, i think i need to go breathe into a paper bag just thinking about it. That and the fact that i’ve now typed (and said in my head) the word panties 3 times now is making my stomach turn.
I mean, i have issues.
My husband and i have never had tv in our bedroom but, for some reason, we allowed our children to have them. By the time i realised what a stupid idea it was there was no going back.
Sometimes I also go through phases where I just can’t concentrate on a book with any depth. It depends on my power to focus at the time. Why that changes, I don’t know. Of course, most of us don’t have any trouble reading voluminous amounts on the internet. It’s like an endless tub of popcorn!
Apropo of all that, this article is pretty interesting:
http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200807/google
“I fall asleep after a couple of paragraphs”.
Do you fall asleep really easily within a few minutes of going to bed? And wake up in the morning still tired?
Could be sleep apnoea. If it is, take care, it’s serious.
“Things came to a head…” or “When things come to a head…” YUCK! That’s a reference to zits and boils ain’t it!! Tastless defrocked half brother of Saint Pusstus…that’s a disgusting pharse. I’m sure it’s not a reference to a perfectly drawn frosty mug beer. YUCK!
Bedroom TV is no problem with me. Sundays in winter is our breakfast in bed and our three current Netflexs time. Late night baseball game or some hockey fits right in too.
TastEless. crap
Netflix…darnit crap crap
I live in Iowa and if I hear “heartland” again I will have to get some illegal drugs.
No TV’s in the kids’ rooms. Small one in ours for the occasional shared porn video.
While I’m on the porn subject, I noticed an ad for Adam & Eve’s Desensitizing Lubricant below the lube shooter on the Further Evidence link.
I’m thinking if someone is shoving something in my ass I like to be able to feel if they were going a little to far. Maybe even some supersensitive lubricant would be in order.
Not that anyone is going there on this guy.
I can’t fall asleep without the glow of TV light dancing across the covers. Unless I’m totally exhausted, my mind wanders off about weird stuff & I can’t fade off.
Hearing white kids who have never once been in the ghetto talk ‘street’ bugs the shit out of me. That is the companion piece to my Dr. Pepper baseball cap annoyance.
I’m going for a bike ride & will think of words that piss me off.
Willie……. I believe you hidden gay tendencies!!
The only way anyone is going there with me is with a 12lb sledgehammer!!!! first to the head !!!!!
Debra -I’m with Shane. Best post ever!
I hate the word ‘pus’ – makes my lower jaw retract just writing it.
Jeff – The Stand will really do it for you. I, too, have trouble finishing a book and that makes me sad. I used to plow through 2 or 3 a month (not a lot by some standards, i know) but now start nodding off. I just finished Duma Key in record time and that, too, is a big-ass book. Love the pic of you with The Stand, btw. Looks like your back may have been strained from the heavy lifting.
I have a problem with mis-pronunciation of words. My mother-in-law says Optober and reef instead of October and wreath. She also occasionally throws out “Maffew” and “Birfday” instead of Matthew and Birthday. What are we, black or 4 years old?
Also, there is a sports announcer on our local radio station, WEEU, that cannot pronounce his R’s. The Reading Royals are the Wedding Woyals. I simply cannot stand to listen to any local games on this station because of him. Fucking Elmer Fudd Son of a Bitch. They might as well hire a drunk tongue tied hairlip.
The BIL calls Ground Beef, Chopped Meat.
ARGH…..it drives me insane! I just want to slap him when he does it.
Extruded Meat would be closer to the truth actually.
My cousins in MA call soda pop, Tonic. That one never sat right with me either.
Mona and I have decided against a TV for ourselves because I’d be watching it while she was trying to sleep. We’ve always said no TV and no computers in childrens bedrooms. I’ve been in this house for 11 years and last month we added a second television. Mona and I both grew up in single TV homes and we plan to keep the tradition alive.
Once again I agree with Lakrfool. Those little white kids who like to pretend they’re from the ghetto drive me nuts. And the further they are from any city larger than 10,000 people the crazier they make me. Most of themhave only seen black people on TV.
And hip hop spelling needs to go to. Words that are spelled with an “a” on the end rather than an “er” drive me crazy.
On a positive note, Detroit’s Hip Hop mayor is on his way to the clink! Woo Hoo!
Misselle- Sorry, I live in Michigan too and they’ve always been bathing suits.
Personal firefly? Personally I like “firefly” – “lightning bug” is a southern-ism. But it bugs me when people say “green onions” when they mean “scallions”. Or “commode” when they mean “toilet”.
Your dream obviously means that you are terrified that someone is going to discover all that porn on your computer.
I cannot stand it when people say “Like” and “seriously” and “for real”
Seriously, like, for real???
There are tvs in all 3 bedrooms of my house as well as the B.A.T.V. in the livin’ room. (Not family room or den, I hate that) The bedroom tv only gets turned on when theres bad weather, or something “nasty” to watch.
Also I hate it that my husbands family says devan(sp?) instead of couch.
I love to read and the hardest book for me to get through was “Imagica” by Clive Barker. It had 87,000 pages and the last 40,000 really started to run together.
Love The Stand but maybe save it for winter when you can give it your full attention. I read it when I was in the hospital on bed rest for 3 months with my secret, also gave it to my nephew to read when he went to jail for 3 months..its that kind of book.
Agree with the craptastic review of the made for tv movie/miniseries of it, the kid from Parker Lewis Cant Lose as Harold?!?! When I first read the book I TOTALLY thought of Dobber from Coach as Tom Cullen, perfect casting in that!
I want Green Onuns! Not fucking scallions. They do differ.
Although we have a TV in our bedroom, it’s hardly ever used. The only time we use it is when we want to check out the Weather Channel before we go to bed. It’s on long enough to catch the next Local On The 8′s and that’s it. So, in answer to your question, ‘No’ to a TV in the bedroom. Besides, any doctor will tell you bedrooms should only be used for two things…sleeping, and something the oldest secret won’t be doing for quite a while…if you’re lucky.
out, y’all
Husband calls both rugs and carpets ‘rugs’. Drives me crazy. Rugs can be washed, moved and thrown out. Carpets are fastened to the floor.
We have a TV in bedroom. Husband is the only person I know who would use the ‘timer’ feature on the TV so it would turn off after 30 minutes.
Rugs is carpets, and vice versa
If you don;t use features like the timer, they take them away
No bedroom TV. Don’t need it. With all the sex, reading and sleeping going on, TV is just superfulous. My children never had TV in the bedroom because we were poor. They flocked to the living room on Saturday morning to watch Pee Wee’s Playhouse. They are normal young men now. Really, they are. TV’s influence is overrated.
I’m a little drunk so forgive me. The first part of the update was like what I’m reading right now. Lost Moon, the Apollo 13 story. There’s a part towards the end where one guy is scared shitless he’ll hit the wrong switch and kill all of them, 5 hours till splashdown after they made it all that way.
It relates because its a bad dream for him
Same thread, if you don’t believe we went to the moon, contact me.
beyond that, come to marietta ohio this weekend for some old town charm and some awesome fireworks.
T
Although we have a TV in our bedroom, it’s hardly ever used. The only time we use it is when we want to check out the Weather Channel before we go to bed.
Nerd porn.
Can’t stand “sneakers,” especially when Billy Joel is singing about them!
TV in the bedroom but it’s only on for about an hour a month.
I’ll be singing(?) Debasser and Gouge Away all day now – choooon! Where’s my air guitar when I need it?
Words/phrases that irritate me…
The grocery – its the grocery store
Mango – its a bell pepper you boob
Say? – meaning ‘what?’ or ‘excuse me?’
I kind of like Davenport for couch and Chifferobe too… my grandma used to say them.
Ginormous. I really hate that word.
NO TVs in the bedroom. You are right, it is a sanctuary. Train him now!
Any asswipe know why when I click on old site it does not take me there?
Here’s the logic of the TV in the bedroom.
My living room has a couch, a piece of furniture designed to be sat upon. When watching TV neither my wife nor my secrets will sit on it, they lay on it. There’s no pillow cases on the couch to protect it from their normal grime, there no sheets on it that get washed regularly.
My bedroom has a giant king sized bed, whose linens are on a constant cleaning cycle. Also there’s room for 3 out of the four of us to lay on it, unlike the couch.
So I put a smaller version of the living room’s B.A.T.V. in there and when we all watch T.V. together its in the bedroom.
My secrets also have computers in each of their rooms (I work in I.T. so I can always drum up an old P.O.S. for them) but they have strict rules about its usage and so far they follow them.
I always had an old B&W T.V. in my room when I was a kid, nothing like watching re-runs of Gilligan’s Island on a snowy B&W.
As far as the word thing goes, I’m the guy that makes you guys crazy. I can’t say Massachusets (?sp?) right and it drives my coworker nuts. I use the word “salve” to refer to everything from mayonaise to neosporin. I say soda instead of “Coke” like the rest of my southern brethren, I tried “soda pop” for a while but that drove everybody crazy so I backed it down to soda.
What really drives me nuts is the “Thesaurus” attitude that every word can be replaced by another when in reality most words have a unique definition and really aren’t interchangable, which I guess is really the root of this whole conversation.
A buggy is a small four wheeled device for carting babies around in during the Roosevlet era not a shopping cart at Wal-Mart.
Rugs are sometimes made from carpet that has been surged, never is a carpet a rug.
I could also go on for hours about text messaging and how its going to ruin grammar for an entire generation, but I won’t
Got a 52″ HD TV in the bedroom. Kind of the ying to your yang…
I personally hate “pocket book” used instead of handbag or purse. Don’t know why. Just sounds silly.
As for the Great TV Debate… Kids living at home, it’s cool. It’s kinda like their living room where they can entertain friends. But when you’re grown up… Keep it out of the bedroom. It is indeed a sanctuary.
I also hate firefly, underpants, panties, and supper. I have to add the word fondle. It is so desriptive and dirty. The phrase “next year is our year” in reference to the Chicago Cubs makes me homicidal.
We used to have a TV in our bedroom but Wally and I’s internal clocks are so off that we would keep each other awake. It is gone now and we are both happier!
NEVER a TV in the bedroom, ask the EX-husband who had to have it running all night, it could ruin a marriage.
Hate “fixin’ “, as in I’m fixin’ to go the store….
Sorry southerners…
I love the word panties, it’s impossible to say without smiling! Then again, I have a fetish for sexy woman’s underwear (viewing and removing, not wearing)
Our local dialect:
firefly, not lightning bug
(shopping) cart, not buggy
grocery store, not food store or grocery
green onions, wtf is a scallion?
supper or dinner
Hey, Mark from the Heartland…does this mean it’s time to light one up?
The bedroom’s a “sanctuary” where there shall be no TV? TF?
IMHO the bedroom’s one of a number of rooms in the house that are to be lived in. If/when you want it to have a “sanctuary” feel, turn off the TV and light some candles. If you want to catch the news while getting dressed in the A.M., turn on the TV. If you want to watch TV while lying down and falling asleep–or while enjoyin’ the company of your spouse or SO–do so. That ‘splains my 32″ HDTV in the BR.
I hate it when someone starts a sentence with “To tell you the truth…” I want to ask, “So all the other stuff you’ve been saying is bullshit, and only now are you going to be straight with me?”
OK, I’ll hop down from the soapbox now. BTW, has anyone ever seen a soapbox?
What bugs me?
Ski-doo and Sea-doo.
It’s impossible to go Ski-dooing or Sea-dooing when you drive a Polaris/Yamaha/Artic Cat/Kawasaki snowmobile or personal watercraft.
However I use a Kleenex to blow my nose, not a facial tissue. Go figure?
I clean my ears with a Q-Tip, not a cotton swab.
I wear tennis shoes even though i’ve never played tennis.
I cringe when someone calls my jeans “dungarees”.
Dont ever use the word “super”. Makes me want to drop kick anyone who even thinks thats normal to use. Very creepy on the bunker shot. It screams, he’s dead and I did it. Holy shite….
My Mom calls her purse a pocketbook, and that goes up my ass sideways.
Hmm, when you eat around noon, that’s *lunch*. Right?
When you eat around 6 PM, that’s supper. Right?
So when’s dinner, anyways?
(I always thought a scallion was a neutered horse. No?)
Go Steelers!!!
“Comfort the troubled; trouble the comfortable.”
G. K. Chesterton
Meditation: it’s not what you think
Who’s the genius that came up with “walkie talkie”
or how about “ping pong” ?……….. silly words.
Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the parkway? (George Carlin R.I.P.)
I HATE the words “hubby”, “kudos”, “kiddoes” and “folks”. All of them make me violent when I hear them.
When I first got married, I had an entire list of words that my husband was not allowed to use.
Fast forward 13 years (!): I’m a mum and work in construction. The list is(mostly) gone.
I am now pretty much cleaning up puke with one hand and making dinner with the other.
Okay. I think the same as you do that the bedroom is a sanctuary. NO TV in my bedroom.
The term “sweet” makes me want to puke.
“Ohhhh, that’s sweet!” or “Sweeeet!”
Go fuck yourself.
Not to be critical.
The term “sweet” makes me want to puke.
“Ohhhh, that’s sweet!” or “Sweeeet!”
stfu
“Actually” is the most over-used word lately. People use it so randomly in sentences. It seems to be mostly 20-somethings I’ve noticed doing it, from the local news to sales people in stores. It grinds my gears. “I can actually show you this model….” Really? Can you really? That’s amazing!
We say “lightning bugs” around here, which there were a ton of this year. I say “Thunderwear”, because I come from a gassy family.
Also, it drives me nuts when my dh says, “I’m going to go cut the grass”. Gaaaahh!!! It’s MOW THE LAWN!
Just my 2¢.
I love TV. We have a 52″ flat screen on the LR wall, a flat screen in kitchen, one in each of 4 bedrooms. We are TV-holics.
Lovely and Dreamy are words that can be removed from the dictionary as far as I’m concerned.
Working weekends provides me with plenty of reading time. Working my way through the Bentley Little books. Thanks Jeff!!
Oh yeah….and definitely TV in the bedroom. Guess that comes from being single and living alone.
“Tomorrow is an off-day, but I’ll probably update over the weekend sometime. So check back, my friends.”
…Sunday night, 8:13pm, clock’s tickin’, Mr. Kay…tap tap tap
The word that gets me, and EVERYONE says it, is “hot water heater” (well not a word) When I hear that I say “if the water is hot, why do you need to heat it?” And up here in NY it’s lighting bug.
Jeff, I hear ya’ on the reading thing.
I have been a narcoleptic reader for the past 10 years.
I’m sure you didn’t update because you were proofreading it and ended up doing a face plant on your keyboard.
Jeff, the secrets want the TV in the bedroom so they can play video games until the wee hours. Keep their bedrooms video free.
Uncle Buzz, dinner is when you eat around other folks.
Panthers Rule!!! Yeah!!!
For those folks with TV’s in the bedroom. Nothing kills the mode more than Jimmy Kimmel or Jay Leno yaking to no end. Nuf said! Leave the TV in the family room. It’s a “bedroom” not a TV room (emphasis on BED). Just think of all those fun things you could be doing in bed instead of watching TV. OG God, I just got a Brittney/Lindsay and the Palin bunch visual. OK put the TV’s back in the bedrooms.
all 3 of my kids have tv’s in their rooms….it is a godsend…… (and a babysitter. :p )
The way I get through books these days is that I list what I read in my blog at the end of each month. It gives me a kick in the ass to read when I think there’s something better to do because I don’t want to look like a complete slacker. Of course, I read while I eat breakfast and lunch (probably get two whole paragraphs read as I’m a pretty fast eater) and as I walk home from work and then when I really need to read, I get on the treadmill. Reading is the only thing that keeps me on the treadmill – I get bored out of my mind otherwise.
Oh yeah – no TV in bedroom.
The word “awesome” should be stricken from the vocabulary, particularly my mother’s!!!! DRIVES ME INSANE!!!!
I’m with Jorge in the swimsuit vs bathing suit in Michigan debate. I’ve always said bathing suit.
And for the record, it’s POP, not soda or Coke, but pop, at least in Michigan. My younger sister got all pretentious when she was in Maine for 8 months and now she says soda. I lived in San Francisco for four years and still came home saying pop, because I hate the word soda.
underpants and tummy.
If you tell me you have a tummy ache I will hike your underpants so far over your head that your brain will have skidmarks.
Went to the Sternwheel Festival in Marietta, OH over the weekend and I seriously think that Wal-Mart lost money because their clientele was down on the river huffing funnelcakes and deep fried everything.
My experience…
I’ve had the reading issue b4 and I wondered about it just as you have. I attributed it to not enough sleep, a hectic life at the time, and too much alcohol at the same time. This is what was going on in my life at the time. It’s since passed and I’m back on a regular nightly reading schedule.