There was the guy above me (wannabe gangsta) who thought shuffling his furniture above our bedroom at 3am and responded to polite requests to cool it at that hour with profanity-filled flatout lies and attempted intimidation (which really didn’t work. DH didn’t even realize he was supposed to be intimidated by this guy). I *think* that was the same one that had the door broken in by police (building manager at the time was a friend of mine and she said she was pretty sure it had to do with drug charges), but that particular apartment had a succession of noisy, obnoxious, inconsiderate jerks, so it’s hard to say.

Currently, the building I’m actually in is OK, but the next building over (and they’re pretty close) has loud music, the psych case who has screaming cursing crying flipouts at high volume on a regular basis (including at her mother, who lives with her and apparently has Alzheimers), and the loud puker. I’m serious about that last. Some guy over there will *come outside* and noisily barf.

Neighbor 1 Overheard – Boyfriend and Girlfriend that fight, she leaves, he brings other girls into the apartment and sounds like he is trying to put the bed through my ceiling at 2AM having sex. After I finally had enough when they did not quiet down and complained to the manager, the girlfriend claims he is only there 2 nights a week. He NEVER leaves! He’s a drug dealer. He was not even supposed to be in the building because he had been taken out by police right before I moved in for domestic violence.

Plus, he cooks at 2, 3 AM and uses the stove vent which is messed up and vents straight into my apartment.

Neighbor 2 Below – Plays bass surround sound all the time while stoned out from the drugs bought from Neighbor 1. Vibrates my livingroom floor and you can’t hear my TV.

Neighbor 2 Next Door – Girlfriend loves to scream during sex, scream during arguments… Example – “You are just sick! SICK! What are you thinking?! That’s just fucking sick!” Then a bit later, she is moaning around like a stabbed moose and yelping. It gets old. Fight, screw, fight, screw. All the while yelling.

Added bonus – Weirdo that steals laundry supplies from neighbors. She lurks down the halls and jumps if you speak to her. I saw her getting into my washer down in our basement one night using my Downy. After that, I noticed she was making a circle of it and using everyone’s stuff.

I am moving to a townhouse!

The punchline? He got this fat girlfriend that was taller than him and much wider, who he would loudly fuck in the middle of the night, causing her to make sounds like a dying donkey at 3am. One night they were going at it and we heard a loud crash- we knew they had finally broke his bed. thirty seconds later they started up again, probably on another bed or the couch. So the woman makes me go up there, and I ring his doorbell, and he comes to the door butt naked with a huge woody and a baseball bat, obviously drunk. I ask him to give it a rest or at least keep it quiet enough that we can go to sleep. We never heard him again.