Classic Rock and Killer Bees
There’s a huge bee hive in one of the bushes outside our house. Or, as I keep wanting to call it, a “bee nest.” I really need to get caught up on my sleep…
Anyway, this thing is roughly the size of a soccer ball, and bees are entering and exiting it, like the Death Star. And I don’t care for it, not one tiny bit.
I have a feeling it played a part in the vicious dive-bombing stinger-first back o’ the head attack I experienced a few days ago. Ya know? So, they can be aggressive little bastards, and there’s a big quivering sack of ‘em right outside our front door. Simply excellent.
The youngest Secret said he was afraid to sleep in his room, on the night we discovered the “nest,” and Toney and I tried to reassure him. “What do you think they’re going to do,” I asked, “form a hand, like on cartoons, and open your window?”
Yeah, I said it as a joke, but the thought had already passed through my mind as well. I’ve seen bees form hands, many times, on Saturday mornings throughout my childhood. And I had visions of me waking up on Saturday morning like this.
So, I think we’re going to hire a Death Star removal service. No way in hell I’m screwing around with that thing… We’ll just let our pest-control buddy, “Alec Baldwin,” take care of it. And more power to him.
Speaking of the younger Secret, Toney and I tried our best to convince him to join the swim team his older brother belongs to, and he won’t budge.
He says he doesn’t want to do it, is adamant about it, but won’t tell us why. He’s a strong swimmer, but absolutely refuses to join the team.
“Do you think you’re not good enough?” I asked him.
“That’s part of it,” he said.
“Well, I feel that way every time I get out of bed.”
We finally dropped it. He’s got a strong opinion on the subject, and we don’t feel comfortable forcing him into it. So, that’s that; no swim team for him. Too bad, because it’s a great program, with many benefits.
If you’ve got younglings, have you ever insisted they participate in an activity they’d previously refused? How did it work out? Did they end up loving it, or were their worst fears realized? I have a feeling the Secret would like it, but that might just be hopeful estimating on my part. Do you have any experience with such a thing?
We were at Sam’s Club over the weekend, and they were giving out samples of Kraft macaroni ‘n’ cheese. What the? Is there anyone on the planet Earth, except maybe a handful of African tribesmen with bones through their noses, who is unfamiliar with this product? What’s next, toast? Iceberg lettuce? Table salt?
Needless to say, though, I knocked it back, like a shot of Jack Daniels. And it was very tasty, indeed.
While we were driving home from Sam’s the boys started bitching about the CD I’d brought along (one of Paul Weller’s more laid-back efforts), so I turned on the radio.
We like to play a game, with the classic rock station, called How Long Before Zeppelin? Each of us makes a guess how many songs will play before Led Zeppelin makes an appearance. Toney won on Saturday, with her guess of two. “Kashmir” propelled her to victory.
We’ve also played the game with Pink Floyd, but it works best with Zeppelin. Apparently Pink Floyd isn’t played as often as it seems; it’s just some kind of aural illusion, I think.
Man, being the program director at a classic rock radio station must be an almost completely stress-free job. “Yeah, just keep playing the same crap we’ve been playing since 1978… I’m going to lunch.”
Am I wrong? And what are some other stress-free gigs out there? Help me out, won’t you? I might be interested in pursuing a few of ‘em.
And while we’re at it, let’s compile a list of rock radio cliches. I’ll get the ball rolling:
Twos for Tuesday
Thirsty Thursday
Rocktober
George Thoroughlygood
Rock-Block Weekend
What are the rest? We need to capture ‘em all.
And speaking of rock that is classic, Steve and I made a successful trek to Philadelphia last night, to see Paul Weller play a blistering (and very loud) show in a tiny, crumbling former vaudeville house.
I’ll get into the details soon, but it was a good time. With only one tiny complaint… Would it kill the man to throw in a few more songs by the Jam? I mean, seriously. Westerberg never stopped playing Replacements songs, and nobody’s ever accused him of being a nostalgia act.
Weller did “A Town Called Malice,” and an acoustic version of “Butterfly Collector,” and that’s it. But, he still rocked the joint, and had everyone jumping around like idiots, so I feel a little guilty bitching. “The Eton Rifles” woulda sounded mighty good, though, especially with all that Boddington’s jostling around in my belly.
I’ll tell you all about our boozy adventure, in the near future.
Have yourselves a fine, fine day, boys and girls.
Filed under: Daily
Nope.
2nd?
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters!!!!!!!!!
First????
5th!!!
“It’s a classic rock double shot” I’ve heard it in Michigan and Florida. It susaly the Beatles, Zeplin, or the Rolling Stones when they do it.
Labor Day Album Countdown
Beatles A to Z Weekend
Rock and Roll Root Cellar
And of course the veritable
Block Party Weekend!
Also, at some point in the last ten years, every single Classic Rock station in the country instituted a “W/KXXX Work Force”, “rewarding” people who register and listen all day/every day.
And I believe the preferred nomenclature for the phenomenon Jeff refers to is “Getting the Led out”
Top Ten!?!?
In the Top 10… Sweet!
We have three-fer Thursday here, great if it’s band you like. Hell if it’s Journey. yeah I don’t want hear about it, if you like Journey keep it to your sick twisted self.
Kashmir – I had some friends back in the 80s who played that while they were walking down the aisle. Yeah, the old folks really appreciated that.
Happy Monday, Surfers!
5 days until Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds……and I’m getting handicapped seating because of my pathetic appearance in the neckbrace. I knew this thing would be good for SOMETHING!
I really like the Bunker Cam shot, Jeff. Is that your rec room? I’ve got a horse glued face first to a wall just like that! Is yours an original? Mine’s really a surgically altered hamster, but you’d never know to look at it.
14 ain’t to bad when pimples aren’t involved.
Two Dream Jobs:
1. Weather Man in Phoenix – Forecast: Hot, Repeat
2. Ethicist – That ain’t right, this is, that isn’t…….
Mandatory Metalica.
60/70/80′s Lunch Hour
All request lunch hour
If I have to hear somewhat quote the “phrase the pays” one more time I’ll scream….
Oops….poor typing skills abound…..
The Phrase that Pays….
What’s your favorite station?
Get you some hornet killer, and wait about 2 hours after dark. Get a flashlight, get your hornet killer, and aim it right into the hole.
Works every time.
Man, our local classic rock station is so bad at the Zep thing that I’ve often joked that they should change the call sign from KLPX to KPLZ: Keep Playin’ Led Zeppelin. Once a friend of mine found himself talking to the station’s Program Director at a holiday party and pulled that line on him. It didn’t go over so well, I am told.
Is it a Hornet’s nest? Heck, we use to just wait until after dark and torch those things.
I thought pretty much all radio stations were now programed by Clear Channel or whoever – last time I was in a radio station, they did not even have any cds around, it was just a computer, that showed what songs were going to be playing – or something like that. I am curious as to how it is now.
We insisted on swim lessons for 8 years in a row. We live in FL and all kids need to swim. He hated it, but learned to swim about the third year. Low body fat? Who knows. The only other thing we insisted on was one session of Summer Basketball–after a great Winter Session–It sucked, different coach, different kids, and we allowed him to drop out. We insist that he go to the gym with to lift weights occasionally– sometimes he just sits there a reads a magazine. He did surprise us by proclaiming a desire to play football and is on the second year with his HS team. Maybe just knowing how important it is to us that we be healthy has influenced him a bit in his choices. And isn’t making the right choices what we want from our kids?
Jeff, are you sure those are bees and not hornets? They sound pretty aggressive.
I have never made my son participate in any activity he wasn’t willing to do, however my mother MADE me take Band…and although it wasn’t too bad…I still felt like a dork at every half-time game we had to play at.
For the radio we have “Way Back Wednesday’s” and the “Friday Free For All”
We have “Ducey – Duce With Groovin’ Bruce.” It’s supposed to be 22 songs in a row without commercials.
I always thought the guy that tore tickets in half at the theator had a cushy job. But they prolly don’t make much mooh-lah.
I’ve seen a lot of Carnival shows where the participants had easy jobs. The world’s fattest man just sat there in a chair, watching the Dallas Cowboy’s game on a little black and white tv. The world’s shortest lady did much the same thing. She did get up and stand by a measuring stick, at least.
Double shot Wednesday
Commercial Free Rock Block
Letting the Led out
I encouraged my oldest to go out for the school football team this year and he loves it (plus he comes home after 6 exhausted every night so homework and bedtime are a lot easier!).
Being a weatherman would be the simplest gig I think. Just pick a percentage, you can be wrong all the time and no one ever fires you.!
My youngling who is now 14 (God help me) participated in a sport for three years, from third grade to fifth. The last year, he got fed up with it in the middle of the season. I made him finish what he had started, but I didn’t force him to re-up the next year. Now, four years later, he sometimes regrets aloud that he’s not active in any sport. So of course I feel guilty for not pushing him harder. Rearing kids– damned if you do, damned if you don’t. If anyone has this figured out, please let me know.
KROQ in Los Angeles has Double-D-cember. Miss Double-D-cember is always my favorite.
We have a classic rock station here in the SF Bay Area that has “TA-TA TUESDAYS”
They give out stickers that say only TTT and guys put them on their trucks (usually). Then thay encourage girls to flash their “TA-TA’s” on Tuesdays when they drive by. I have XM so I don’t listen, but I think people are supposed to phone in and tell what they saw. Good Fun!
My kids both enjoyed football and wanted to quit, they wouldn’t tell me why but I eventually learned the coaches were more than your average jock assholes. The oldest kid just does the Wii Fit now and plays real guitars, the younger one joined cross country. Easier to let them decide than to push it for me.
Parents forced me to play basketball in 8th grade. I didn’t want to play because the previous 3 years consisted of me riding the bench with 3 other my friends. I hated it. I finally broke down and played but can honestly say I have no good memories about it.
Once in 10th grade or so a swarm of honeybees moved into my bedroom.
My neighbor’s house in Indy has a swarm of bees living in the side of the house. No one lives there, it’s for sale, so I’m sure that’s helping the resale value.
Mandatory Metallica
Your secret probably wants nothing to do with a locker room full of guys.
How ironic that you would bring up Pink Floyd as Richard Wright, a founding member of the rock group Pink Floyd, died today. He was 65. Welcome to the Dark Side of the Moon Richard.
Head Elf: Would you mind telling me what you do wanna do?
Hermey: Well, some day I’d like to be a dentist.
“We’re the Home of Rock ‘N’ Roll”
WHTG – - A local station that’s more “classic alternative” than “classic rock” features a “No Replay Workday”, meaning that you won’t hear the same song twice between nine and five, Monday thru Friday. If they screw up and you call in & tell them you win … something.
Shinywilly – I just saw that. I can’t believe he died, I didn’t even know he was sick.
But instead of him going to the “dark side of the moon”, I prefer to think of him going to the “Great Gig in the Sky”
Jeff, is it honeybees? Don’t mess with them if its honeybees – they’re like, endangered now.
Kasey Kasems Top Twenty Countdown. This one goes out to the cute girl that I was always afraid to talk to, then by sending out a birthday wish on Kasey’s show was able to break the silence and win the girl of my dreams.
What Hog Wash!
OK Jeff, here’s my 2 pennies of thought. Please let the professionals handle the bee problem. If you call a local honey producer, they may remove the bees for free or even let you slide them a couple bottles of golden elixir. I worked as a bee keeper when I was a teenager with my Grandfather (My dad was like you and he wasn’t having any of it).Feel secure that they are not “Africanized Honey Bees” (The ones that will go after you aggressively). Any way, I helped him extract many hives and it is not something I suggest the amatuer approach. Bees don’t take kindly to folks poking and spraying around the hive.
For the youngest secret, its best not to push unless they are interested in the sports. Not every kid will turn out to be the next Mark Spitz, sorry folks, he’s the swimmer I knew about since I attended IU back in the “Spitz fame” days. Be proud that he can swim, there are a whole bunch of ruggies that can’t take a bath without a floatation device. Check out my nephew, he was worth a few pushes and swift kicks in the keyster. he’s my younger brothers son and he’s been kick tail his first year on the field as a red shirt starter.
http://www.hokiesports.com/football/players/2008/evans.html
And that’s it from the peanut gallery!!!
Jeff,
Just torch the house any you won’t be annoying the bees anymore.
Zeptember!
Kids don’t come with an instruction manual, and each one is different, but my philosophy is to pick your battles. We’ve enrolled him in soccer, basketball, “games of low organization”, etc., and the only thing he liked was gymnastics. Not my favorite choice, but meh, no big deal. If I’m gonna dig in and put his back against the wall it will be over school or something else that matters. I am making him take swimming lessons this winter and I don’t much care how he feels about it, but we live an hours drive from 3 of the largest fresh water lakes in the world, so it’s kind of a necessity.
My two sons had to try at least two sports each. They chose 3 and ended up liking and staying with 2 (baseball and basketball). They also had no choice in whether or not they would learn to play a musical instrument. They each play 2 instruments, saxophone and guitar.
When they’re “of age”, they’ll be forced to drink staggering quantities of beer, but I’ll leave that up to the Rush Chairman.
Life is better when adults force you to do things instead of playing video games. Except when it’s your priest.
A tribute to Richard Wright:
In the Flesh? Goodbye Blue Sky. No Time for Another Brick in the Wall. Is There Anybody Out There? Nope, just Young Lust and Empty Spaces. Mother, The Thin Ice makes me Comfortably Numb but The Show Must Go On. So Goodbye Cruel World. Hey You, Run Like Hell because The Happiest Days of Our Lives is spent with Several Species of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving With a Pict . Point Me at the Sky, Speak to Me, Breathe and Shine on You Crazy Diamond. Have a Cigar lots of Money and don’t get Brain Damage for I must now play at The Big Gig in The Sky While Waiting for the Worms,It Would Be So Nice to be Outside the Wall while Learning to Fly. Welcome to the Machine.
Ognir –
By now, pretty much any station that’s not in a small market runs on a computer. And, I’ve installed automation systems in some small markets, too. The jocks have little to no input as to what’s going on the air, but they do exist. A lot of smaller markets are voice tracked, to cut down overhead. That, or they get their programming from satellite feeds. It can be disappointing, but only until you hear a bad jock with free reign. Then, you lose some of your disdain for tight formattics…..
After coercing the younger Thing into teeball when he was 5, and watching him sit behind the backstop sulking each and every practice/game, I stopped thinking that I wanted to be a coach after all. That lassiz faire attitude doesn’t extend to band though. The 8th grader wanted to drop it this year in favor of art and … something else, but with a little hardsell from me and his Dad he decided to stick it out this year in hopes of behing able to go on band trips next year.
That’s about as far as I’ll go though. I’d rather not be the one to make my kids miserable over extracurriculars. Forcing them to do homework and keep their room neat is grating enough, thanks.
No Secrets here, so I can’t give any parental advice.
5 o’clock all request rush hour here in Detroit on the only radio station I listen to (since the bloody CBC powers that be ruined CBC Radio 2 – bastards). No clue what 89X does during the day since I’m at work, although Sunday mornings are my favorite with Time Warp (Music of the 70s, 80s and 90s) with Christina.
Did I miss the rumored sooper seekrit update in my mailbox last week or hasn’t it been sent out yet?
As being forced into an activity when I was younger I never was. Well, unless you count those movies I was encouraged to participate in which are probably available for download on some secret Russian based website somewhere……
Pants Free Friday
My boy was apathetic about extracurricular stuff, played soccer until 8th grade and decided he didn’t want to anymore. He also played in the middle school (jr. high?) band. He wasn’t sure he wanted to get into the high school band, but he was ‘strongly encouraged’ – and told that if he hated it after a year, he could opt out.
Band has been one of the best things for him, marching all over the place and at Ford Field (the Silverdome before that), and some of his best friends are in the band.
Throw him in the pool, then teach him that ‘Medals mean Meals’.
He’ll soon come around when the hunger starts to bite.
On a lighter note, I teach karate and can tell when the kids parents want them to be there. Its kinda of a glazed look with the actions of a George A Romero extra. I usually have a quiet word in the parents ear.
Sport should be enjoyed.
I got started in swimming as part of rehab after a serious chiildhood illness. Mom and Big Lou started me swimming competition by second grade and kept me at it unitl I was so disinterested they stopped signing me up in 6th grade. They were way more into the competitivion than I was and were upset if they felt I wasn;t working hard enough.
I hated tee ball (I suuuucked) and wasn’t much good at soccer. We were forbidden to play football because Big Lou saw a lot of guys maimed when he played. I also tried gymnastics and Judo.
I joined the band because I wanted to be near a girl I had a crush on in 5th grade. That she turned out to be a lipstick lesbian is beside the point. But I stuck with that and played in college for a year.
I started playing basketball and street football at a cousins house wiht his buddies about the time I quit organized sports. Those guys were 10 years older than me and merciless. I had a great time.
By 10th grade I was swimming again and having a great time at it. My folks stayed away from my meets and I appreciated it. I was all-city as a senior and I know that had my folks been involved I’d have resented it.
The point is I was happier when I chose what I wanted and was left to my own devices. On the other hand I wouldn’t have known what sport I preferred without being exposed to so many.
There are a bunch of sports I want The Peanut to try and ultimately I want her to want to go SCUBA diving with me. I think Mona will help me steer her that way without pissing her off. She’s a hell of a lot smarter than me, so my plan is to follow her advice and hope for the best.
We’ve let our oldest know that anything he’d like to participate in, he can and sometimes I’ll ask him, “Hey, would you like to take X?” He usually says no. He’s not athletic or particularly competitive. But, he’s a good kid and a good student, so I’ll take that. Our littlest one is only 2 – no telling what she’ll want to get into.
we have decided to let our youngins pick and choose thier extra cirricular activities…right now they are relitively young so they are each limited to 2…the rule is once tey start they have to finish out the season (unless we get “talked” to by the coach)…so far so good, no whining or complaining about practice etc/// (fingers tightly crossed!!)
DH and I have a radio game we play, simple yet fun, name the song title and artist (correctly) first…try it with AM 70″s rock (ala Midnight at the Oasis…makes your head explode!)
Jeff & friends
If you get a chance to check out Phil & Brent in the morning on 97.5 KMOD you should. They do some really awesome bits like Roy D(amn) Mercer, Dick Lexia, Stump the zoo & etc. Its all available as a podcast I will admit some of thier shit is odd but its usually pretty funny. They also do big ass sports every mornin.
Do not ever force a kid to do something they don’t wanna do, they’ll take it out on you when you get elderly.
Blake, Weather Man in Alaska is a pretty good gig also.
my parents never made me take any sports. i’m pushing 30 and work weighing trucks and i live above their store…
Classic rock. meh.
Those songs were great the first 5,000 times I heard ‘em.
Not so much anymore.
Now, I’m going to throw up my “Electric Lunch”.
Jeff, I bet what you have there are yellow jackets. They are agressive and they can sting more than once without losing their stingers. You are right to call a specialist, otherwise you could end up swollen to hell and back, with a lot of pain.
If they are honeybees (which I doubt), don’t kill them; call a bee remover person. I have experience with both this year, and they are not to be fooled around with.
Many places I’ve lived had Breakfast with the Beatles, usually on a Sunday.
Not big on forcing the kid to do something he doesn’t want to but will make him stick with what he does choose.
Jeff,
My advice to you is to kill whatever they are. Kill it brother, kill it. If you can’t do it yourself then I’d advise you to tell whoever is in charge to, “kill baby kill”. You’ve heard that before. No? “Kill baby kill.” I think that might have been the chant during the foxy VPs announcement. Nevertheless, kill it.
Get Buck over there to deal with those dam secrets… (ahem) I mean bees. Damnit man, grow a sack!
A couple weeks ago I won the season 1 dvd set of “Evening Shade” by guessing the “Magical Mystery Tune.” (It was Back on the Chain Gang by the Pretenders.)
I don’t think you have to worry about yellow jackets. They tend to nest in or near the ground. Look it up. Your best bet is the exterminator. And don’t worry about your son. He’ll be fine. My ex coached my 3 sons in baseball, basketball, and football all the way through high school. I’m pretty sure they love me more.
My wife and decided that both of our children have to participate in something. We looked back at our childhood and realized that while not everybody we went to school turned out great a higher percentage of the ones who did participated in some sort of organized extracurricular activites. My son didn’t want to play football this year either, but two weeks into the season he was totally in love with it again. If you know in your heart he would enjoy it then sign him up, the worst that can happen is that he has a terrible season and you don’t sign up next year. A lot of why mine didn’t want to play was that he was afraid he wouldn’t be good enough, but it turns out he is doing fine. Everybody is afraid to fail, but as a parent its our job to encourage them to test themselves. He may be great, but he may be terrible, either way he needs to learn to deal with either situation and better to learn it while he’s got you and Toney to help him.
JeffInDenver,
Thank you for the information. Anyone ever listen to the shows at this site – it use to be free, but now, you have to pay:
http://www.reelradio.com/
In Philly:
The Drive at Five
The 5′Oclock Attitude Adjustment
Breakfast with the Beatles
My parents never made me do any sports and I lettered in everything in high school, football, wrestling and track. I was, however, always a bit hurt that they never went to any of my games.
I was about 50 years old before my mother matter of factly mentioned how they went to all my games. Talk about lack of family communication.
Hump Day – wednesday and no repeat work days they don’t repeat the same songs in between 9-5 but everyday its the same ole crap
My dad forced me to do soccer – hated it. He also tried to force me into track my freshman year but I told him there was no way. I mean I seriously doubt I have ever ran or sprinted in my entire life. And I have no desire to. I was in band from 5th grade on. I’m still pissed they made me play flute instead of clarinet.
How about OOOOOOO ‘Shocktober’
I still can’t figure out why being the first couple of replies are so important …..Maybe childhood haunts …
Pass the ‘Guiness’….
My eldest wants to join every team and club they offer, but then she is only in second grade. That will pass once she realizes that she inherited my two left feet. We do make her get some exercise every day, and usually the little weirdo chooses to walk on the treadmill. Whatever.
I don’t think I would make her do anything unless it had a direct benefit to her future in some way.
Tell em sports or play tuba. That usually get sthem encouraged. Nobody wants to be the kid lugging around a bis ass tuba.
My kids are too little to be forced into sports. But I am forcing my 2 year old into using the potty. Hasn’t been easy. We have the pee thing down. I bought her some panties with princesses on them and told her not to piss on the princess. Seems to have worked. But the poop thing is a different story. She likes to go in her diaper and THEN empty it into the toilet. Then she flushes it and says, “Bye Bye”.
I wanna see if this works.
BOLD
SQUIGGLY
UNDERLINED
Hey Kathleen ~
I am too from Michigan ………..89x at noon ‘rocks’ with all the old punk and yesteryear bands !
May-tallica!