Chinese Fun, Novelty Driving, and Crazy Pet Names
We went to a Chinese restaurant for lunch today, and the food was extra-good (#2: cashew chicken), but the overall experience was a bit strange.
A perma-smile woman seated us at a table in the middle of the floor, then walked over to a booth that looked to have been recently vacated. The dishes had been taken away, but it was still a mess. So she started tidying up, and eventually removed the tablecloth completely.
Then she took two steps back, twisted her torso ninety degrees, and gave the thing a big shake, like a person cleaning a rug or whatever. This action sent crumbs and food particles flying through the air, and a good portion of it rained down on a party of four seated nearby.
One old guy, who resembled John Locke on LOST, looked down at his forearm, saw something there and calmly flicked it away. But a woman seated to his left began frantically knocking stuff out of her hair, and another lady started brushing her lap with high urgency.
I couldn’t believe it. And ol’ perma-smile never said a word to them, even though she clearly saw them slappin’ ‘n’ brushin’ with pronounced WTF? expressions plastered on their faces.
Yeah, that was a new one…
And there was also something radically wrong with their stereo system. The whole time we were there the music kept switching back and forth between what sounded like the soundtrack to Halloween, and a pop song by a (presumably) Chinese singer.
Only about ten seconds of one would play, and it would go back to the other. And the pop song always started at the beginning, it didn’t pick up where it had left-off last time (unfortunately). There was some sort of keyboard or synthesizer riff at the start of it, and it just kept repeating every twenty seconds, or so.
After a half-hour of this I could feel myself starting to lose my tenuous grip on sanity. In fact, I can still hear that cheesiness playing in my head, followed abruptly by the dink-dink-dink Halloween theme.
What the hell, man? How is it even explainable??
Next week we’re going to my parents’ house in West Virginia, for a quickie guerilla visit before school starts up again. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but we haven’t seen my Mom and Dad in over a year. Last April, I think. Disgraceful.
I get off work at 1:30 am on Wednesday (actually Thursday morning), and we’re thinking about leaving shortly after I get home. At 2:30 or 3:00, I guess. Should be interesting… We’ve never attempted anything like that before.
The plan is for me to drive the first couple of hours, since I’m usually still wired from job aggravation, etc., and Toney will take over once my head starts going round and round on my shoulders.
Yeah, it sounds good on paper, but we’ll see how it goes in real life. I’ll probably be completely sleepless and hallucinating by the time we get to my folks’ house. I’ll probably have my shirt off and be screaming about the bugs (“so many bugs!”).
Have you ever engaged in any novelty driving? You know, for way too many hours in a row, or leaving at midnight, or anything crazy like dat? How’d it go for you? Presuming you’re still alive to tell the tale, of course. No ghosts in the comments section, please….
And I’m struggling like a mofo here, friends. Not to whine like some Nostrildamus ball-baby bitch, but I worked more than twelve hours yesterday, and slept about five hours last night. My brain just ain’t doing it for me today.
So, I’ll zero out the Moleskine early tomorrow… Since I missed yesterday, and all.
Before we get to the Question of the Day, I’d like to remind you that I’m taking pre-orders for the RETRO old-school Smoking Fish shirts, right here. If you want one, please order soon. I’ll probably turn the T-Shirt Lady loose on them next week, so don’t miss out.
And now… I’d like to know the best pet names you’ve ever heard.
When I lived in Greensboro I knew a girl with a cat named Polyester. I still don’t know if that’s an exceedingly cool name, or if my judgment was clouded by the cuteness of the cat’s owner. Sometimes cuteness can change your perception of things…
And Mark & Linette, of Crimewave USA fame, used to have a cat named… Eartha Kitty. Is that not excellent? I submit that it is.
So, what creative pet names have you encountered over the years? Tell us about it in the comments.
And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.
Filed under: Daily
woot!
Twofer
Back in my bartending days, about 8 of us decided to rent a van and drive to Astroworld. We figured we would leave after the night shift, around 3AM, which would put us in Houston right in time for the park opening.
So we got several cases of beer and a few bottles of Absolut Citron and headed out on our way. Needless to say much hilarity ensued. One guy tried to take a a cab back to the French Quarter, and ended up at a strip club (in Houston) with the cab driver. He couldn’t remember his hotel room (or the name it was booked under) when he returned, so he had to book another room.
One of the two places in Astroworld to get beer that day, and we put a dent in the other one’s supply. Great trip.
oops – we drank the first place out of beer.
NUMBER 5? HERE IT IS MY BEEFY UPDATE- MY NIPPLES ARE EXPLODING WITH DELIGHT!!!!
i love the turboheather. my grandma gave me one of those dolls when i was a kid, and i never got the point of the damn thing.
i had a friend long ago who had a cat named figment.
dopey ol’ me – I was still leaving comments on yesterdays posting. glad I made to today’s party.
There is a guy at the dog park that calls his dog Shithead. Don’t know if thats the dogs real name but he comes when the guy calls for him.
I used to work with a man last name Honnick and he named his cat Harry Honnick Jr. which i thought was cute.
my daughter named her cat Tony after White trash Barbies’ husband. She had a crush i do believe. remember that WTB- where you been anyway? NO computer service in Mexico??
My wife adopted a dog that was named Auction as a puppy by its previous owner. It has since been renamed Prem (I refer to this as its Klingon name). Poor dog will never have a proper name.
The longest stretch of driving I have ever attempted in one day was Chicago to New Orleans. During a rambling trip up the Eastern Seaboard during the 1980s in which I was a member, novelty driving was the rule rather than the exception. I would hate to compare it to a Hunter S. Thompson story, but it wasn’t too far removed from such a plot. I am not quite sure why I am still alive today, but I must be – as I am still pulling in paychecks.
A co-worker has a pussy (cat) named Sexy. Not that cool or original. I just wanted to type the two together. Had a dog named Gypsy as a kid, always loved that name. Current dog, 130 lb. newfie named Callie. I’m Obviously biased on that one.
A cat we found on the interstate: Freeway
A cat whose claws stuck to everything: Velcro
A black cat: BC (yes, Black Cat)
Also, if you into bug issues, check out this movie:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0470705/
Not for everyone, but it worked for me.
My parents bought two black lab puppies which I named Lucy & Ethel. They lived up to their names, too. Lucy got into trouble a lot & Ethel just followed her around. Sadly, Ethel was put down at age 2 for chronic illnesses. Lucy is alive & kickin’ at age 10 now.
I also have three chihuahuas. (Not the yippy, shaky kind). Their names are Bisou (French for kiss, cuz she’ll lick you to death), Principessa Bella (Beautiful Princess in Italiano) & Sumo, because he’s small. Ha!
To top it all off I also own two rats, which I named Boo Radley, after To Kill A Mockingbird fame. Of course we changed Radley’s name to Ratley, as he is a rat and spelling is everything….
Now Playing on iPhone: ‘Kashmir’ by Led Zeppelin
boo ratley- hilarious.
@SR-Shithead, wasn’t that the name of Steve Martins dog in “The Jerk”?
I had a friend with two cats. The black one was named Meat, and the white one was Potato.
I’ve recently done enough driving to put me off it for a bit. Just finished chauffeuring around a non-driving friend visiting from Scotland. In the space of three weeks, I drove from Nova Scotia to South Carolina, with stops in Maine, New York, Washington DC, and Myrtle Beach along the way. There were times when I knew I shouldn’t have been driving, but since there was nothing else for it, I had to force myself to stay awake til the next rest area or hotel. Won’t be doing anything like that again any time soon.
Back in my bartending days (yup, just like ashton) a friend and I were going to drive to Disneyland after work for the weekend. By the time we got to LA, we decided that since Mickey didn’t drink, Ensenada would be more our speed, so we continued on to Mexico. I remember very little about that weekend, except that many of the people there called us Thelma & Louise because we were travelling alone and that I told the patrons of Hussongs that I was an American porn star and they bought me drinks all night. Good times.
I knew a guy who named his cat Dammit. “Get off the couch, Dammit” “Come here, Dammit” and a woman who’s parrot was named Yoube. “Yoube good” “Yoube quiet”.
Happy Thursday, Surfers!
Thanks for voting for Louie!
I actually prefer to leave for road trips in the overnight hours. There are fewer cars and it’s cooler. The trade-off is the unbelievable number of deer you’ll encounter at certain times of the year.
Oh, and I have a OCD thing about running out of gas when the stations are closed overnight, so I end up topping off repeatedly. It’s hard being me sometimes.
@ WB in OH – I didn’t say it was original, just odd. I had a neighbor a while back who called his cat Darkie. Well Darkie got out of the house one day and they couldn’t find him. They went around the neighborhood shouting his name. I hope you getting where this is going. I did not bode well with some of the neighbors on both of the color spectrums.
@ Melissa – The first dogs name was an open invitation but the gentleman in me said to let it go. Just sayin! But I did have a girlfriend who.. Oh never mind..
Peace my friends
Know a guy who had a dog named ‘Worthless’ and one named ‘Nose’. A girl with a female cat named ‘Ned’.
Know a girl with a horse…pet?…named ‘Blue’, until he started deciding he was just going to stop and lay down whenever he wanted. She couldn’t break him. She was on him, he went down and rolled over on to his side one day. Jady’s knee still hurts from that. She renamed him ‘Alpo’…he’s been traded off.
Yeah…too many hours at once behind the wheel, too many times. Road rat days. Deep snow saved my life twice.
Jeff, I had a dream that I met you and Tony last night. You were a raging asshole that hated everyone and she was a porn star. I don’t know why, but that’s all I remember.
First wife and I always did the marathon drive from Sarasota to the resort destination of Detroit for the summer vacation. I ended up driving most of the way, until either 1. The first kids got on my nerves, or 2. The beer made me too tired or impaired. One time, on the way back, I had been given a car by her parents, who could not drive anymore. In Tennessee, the beer started to do it’s thing and I was pulled over. I opted for the fake chest pains as an excuse and the trooper escorted us (my wife following in our car) to the hospital. I had to go through the entire procedure of checking into the emergency room and waiting until the trooper made sure we were going to be okay, and then we bolted, since my name was another half hour from being called. You would think the chest pains would have moved me to the front of the line. But NOOOO! We got a hotel and I began the journey again the next morning.
Current wife and kids, and I took a trip to the resort town of Dunbar, and did the twelve hour straight through thing. Not a problem, until we realized it was the middle of fucking winter and we had no snow tires, chains, or anything else to help with the traction. The turnpike was only open to people with chains, so we had to take the back roads through Dog Balls, WV, Goat’s Scrotum, WV and Jimmy’s Pecker, WV to get there. We had to eat, so we stopped at a shithole near Beckley. It was owned by Fred Ziffel and my wife kept finding long beard hairs in her burger. We left without paying, since Fred didn’t budge on the beard hair find, and fully expected Sheriff Roscoe and Enos to pull us over, but it didn’t happen.
Had a cat named Fuckface once. Was a good cat until it came home with it’s forearm hanging out of it’s fur. You could see the bone and all. Had to have the vet finish the job unfortunately. Vet said it would be over $3,000 to fix and we had to do it the next day. Never felt so bad in my life. Yes, I do have some values.
Home right now building a house out of toothpicks with my kids.
Sushi, our present cat is eating a tortilla. only indoor cats for me from now on.
We travel with the secrets to Maine every year. It is a two day trip, (at least 12 hours each day) and in the past five years we’ve added a dog to the equation.
It makes for some really GREAT fun!
Mr.Man wants to play 20 questions and it makes me insane! Then you have the kids fighting and every idiot and their cousin traveling next to you or in front of you….
It’s hell…pure hell.
I used to drug myself with Dramamine until Mr.Man fell asleep near Scranton and almost killed us in a construction zone. We were SO CLOSE to the concrete barrier, I could have reached out and licked it.
Pet names?
I had cats named…Rat…Rooney…Bird (after the great Larry Bird) and Yastrzemski (after Carl..another great)..and yes I named all of them myself.
Time for my second Yuengling…it’s been a shitty week…
@ Knucklehead – I had to go bail a couple of sailors out of jail in Ensenada back in 80 when I was in Precom detail. The jail was on on side of town and the police station was five miles on the other side. We had to go the station to get the release and the back to the jail to get them out and then take them back to the station so they could get their personal affects. Then they were mine for the ride all the way back to San Diego. People just don’t appreciate Merle Haggard at 4 am in the morning when your hungover from drinking all night. But they couldn’t complain, I had the gun.
Cat’s name is dinner, a reminder if the cat gets to close to the
dog pen.
We had a cat named Bitty Shitty Kitty and a bird we called Turdy Brown. Maybe a little more scatology than necessary?
This past weekend I drove to St. Louis from Oklahoma City (about 500 miles). We left at about 4 in the AM Friday, and then returned starting about 3 in the AM on sunday.
Friday I drove to Rolla then let the girl take over.
Sunday I drove to Rolla then let the girl take over.
Friday night/early sat morning when we finally went to sleep was awesome. I crashed and hard.
Reason for trip, to see Wussy.
Pagan and Demon are my two english springer spaniels I love to introduce them to Mormons & Jehovahs witnesses when they knock on the door:)
Rode shotgun on a 53′ tractor trailer delivering mining supplies up North, Drove all night, actually had to stop just north of Churchill Manitoba so a Polar bear & her cubs could cross the road! The Northern lights lit up the night sky the whole trip best journey ever !!
Just catching up on my reading from yesterday!: Hey Jeff never heard of a mullet?
Twice I have made a 24 hour run to Wilmington, NC from DE. Both times for weddings. 9 hour drive down, go to wedding, 9 hour drive home, pretty much a 24 hour hell ride both times.
Just lost a golden retriever named Maizey because maize is the Indian word for corn, which is golden. In all her 14 years, I think only 2 people got it. The new puppy is named Chassis — like car chassis. My hubby named her. I worry if she ever get lost and a woman finds her they’ll say her name like it looks and the dog will never know they’re talking to her.
Wussy? Aren’t they an offshoot of the Ass Ponys, t-storm? I don’t think I’ve heard them, but love the earlier band.
Ah good pick up Jeff.
The lead singer of Wussy is Chuck Cleaver who was the high pitched lead man from the Ass Ponys. He shares lead with the ever adorable Lisa Walker and their harmonies and just playing off of each other a pretty amazing.
I’ve been a fan since before I moved back to Cincinnati in 2006.
A few months ago in a semi-drunken stupor I bought 4 Wussy CD’s at Shake-It Records in Cincy and don’t regret it a bit.
My sister (a dental hygienist) has a patient who called her dog Prozac, because the dog made her happier than any medications her doctor prescribed.
My ex-wife had a cat that we named Klaus Kittski. I hated that fucker.
My friend Brad Boll made a short film named ‘Down Here Drinkin’,” about Greg Markham (now deceased), a half-crazy alcoholic who lived in Huntington. The guy was pretty out there. He had a blowup doll that he had a “relationship” with, and I always suspected that it may have been the inspiration for Feck, Dennis Hopper’s character in the film “River’s Edge.” Anyway, Greg had a cat that he named Nigger Chicken, which has to win hands down for the strangest name ever given a cat…
A gay friend named his cats Pussy Galore and Beaver Cleaver.
A skittish little mutt with chronic intestinal problems named Shitty Shitty Bang Bang.
A goldfish is named Sushi.
A puppy that ate someone’s pot stash (and later vomited it up, thank goodness) named Lebowski (“duuude”).
A dog that had eaten a couple of golf balls named Titleist, but pronounced “tit-leist” just to be obnoxious.
A pot-bellied pig named Sir Francis Bacon and sometimes called Kevin.
A goose named Duvet.
A friend once got a job to drive used cars purchased at auction in Montreal back home to New Brunswick. Five of us left NB around 9pm, taking turns driving on the way up to Montreal. I believe it was a Pontiac or Buick, with barely enough room for 3 guys in the back seat. I cannot sleep in a moving car, so I got zero sleep.
We arrived around sun rise, picked up the cars, grabbed some breakfast, and hit the road heading back home.
Since only my friend had any documentation for these cars, the one rule we had was “stick together”. If one car needed gas, everybody stopped and got gas. Whatever speed the lead car was driving, we all had to drive at that speed. Got home in the early evening, having been awake for over 36 hours and driven 1000 miles.
I never did it again.
That friend moved to Vancouver, and would drive home to New Brunswick a couple of times per year. I asked him how long it takes him to drive that distance. He said “48 hours of driving.” He would drive about 24 hours straight, stop to sleep for 6-8 hours, then drive another 24 hours straight.
Oh, and two golden retrievers named Barley and Hops
I was out once trying to rescue my Grandson from kidnappers and I had my dog named Dog with me…Oh wait, that was something else…
I forgot about my buddy in Idaho that has two geese in his backyard named Lunch and Dinner.
I was never much of a cat person but when a stray turned up on our doorstep my wife decided we had to add this black & grey tiger-stripe kitten to our household. She tried to sell me on the idea of making this kitty our new pet by letting me name him. I named him after the least likeable character on one of my favorite shows, so every day when I come home I can greet the little guy with a surly ” Hellooo… NEWMAN ! “
Jersey Scott – That’s one of my cat’s names! Same reason.
Good Evening Surf Reporters….
Novelty drive for me was in October 2006, from Pittsburgh to Parris Island, SC to see the oldest son graduate boot camp. That was 13 hours. Hit the road around noon, stopped in Bluefield WV to eat, and pulled into Beufort, SC at almost 3 in the morning.
I was getting a little loopy there at the end, but thanks be there was a 24 Kroger right by the flea bag motel where we stayed.
Even though I was mildly hallucinating I still needed a beer (6 actually) to unwind.
Finally passed out around 5a.m. only to be roused awake at 7 to catch the early morning ceremonies.
I was a freaking zombie that day.
On to unusual or unique pet names. Friend has an all black German Shepard named Stovepipe. The owner of a local golf course has a Setter named Fairway. Another friend has a blue Doberman called Udo, I have no idea what it means.
And lastly, I have a 23 pound tom cat named Moo Shu. When he’s bad he is threatened with being sold to the Chinese restaurant in town.
Our local weatherman tells an anecdote occasionally about a dog he once owned named Tornado. When the dog would get out, he’d run down the street in his housecoat yelling, “Tornado! Tornado!!” Ha!
I had a sweet calico cat named Chingate (chin-gah-tay), which means “F**k You” in Spanish. Going to the vets was always a treat…. Everyone always asked what it meant.
Che Guevara named a dog ‘comeback’. My favorite pet name for a pet which wouldn’t normally match the picture (bull mastiff or lizard) is cupcake.
I hate being in a vehicle for more than a couple of hours. Airplanes for this girl but then I only have to worry about airfare for myself. Road trips bring back memories of family ‘vacations’ – but don’t get me started on those. I did have some good road trips with friends back in the day though, can’t believe what we got away with.
I love the bear in the bunker cam at the pic-a-nic table. I’m sure everyone’s seen this video?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72qiEc8UFHU
Back in the early 80′s, I used to tour lights and staging for a band. We were cut loose in Calgary, with no gigs for 10 days, “See you in Toronto at the next show”…me and another guy who called Toronto home left after the show in Calgary, maybe 1 in the morning, and decided to just go for it, as much as you can go for it in a 16 foot cube van packed to the roof with gear. We only stopped for anything when the truck needed more deisel, took us 38 hours, on the north of Superior route. We didn’t want to risk crossing the border twice, perhaps due to substaces that can keep you driving for 38 hours straight. I almost drove into a moose somewhere up north of Superior, near Marathon, I think. It was dark. Anyway, we made it, and then crashed for about a day and a half once we arrived.
I’ve driven Toronto to Winnipeg non stop a couple of times, splitting with another driver, wouldn’t recommend it even in summer. I takes about 20 hours just to get out of Ontario.
I figure Toronto to Vancouver would take about 50 hours, if you’re anywhere near the speed limit, I understand it’s shorter through the states.
I can’t see Van-NB in 48 hrs, it’s 12 hours the opposite way from Toronto at least…maybe there’s a secret cannonball route?
I had a goldfish named Fucker, and a snail named Lemon.
Three cats currently; Zephyr, Skizzy, and Hollow.
The best I can do for novelty driving would be my motorcycle trip from Albany NY to Chicago in one shot. And back, of course. I left around midnight and got there in time for dinner, going via “the 401″ through Ontario.
Some pets I have known: a cat named Kick (“Kick the Cat”); a Dachshund named Contessa dei Gamba; a 27-pound tabby named Max (not a Maine Coon). We once found a kitten sitting on top of a trash can at the Chesapeake House rest stop on I-95 in Maryland; took him home and named him Cecil, after Cecil County. One friend named her dog Jaco, after the late Mr. Pastorious. Another adopted an alley cat and named it YACC for Yet Another City Cat. My brother once had a white cat named Snowblind. And so on.
Jeff-n-N – I’d like to know the cannonball route also. Although we know you can put your vehicle on autopilot from the Ont. border ’til the rockies and have a good nap. There’s alot of manouvering through Lake of the woods & the Coquihala especially when it’s snowing in them hills.
all kinds of pet names in this WV fam…
In order of appearance
Jocko (you’ve never seen a set like these clark),
Pugh (sound it made when it meowed)
Heliotrope,
Connie Rosy,
Noodle,
Smokey,
Moosey the Whore Kitty,
Oreo,
Booty,
Butt Juice,
David,
Cali Rosy,
Indiana,
Piper…
The last two are current and will probably be the last…
I have done Buffalo, NY to the I-90/I-5 intersection in Seattle in 47 hours and 53 minutes…non-stop, by myself, no tickets, in a Toyota Corolla rental car several years ago. Completely insane trip.
Did the same route with a friend of mine several weeks ago, driving my wife’s car. We took 4 days, visited all the cool tourist traps en-route. Far more pleasurable time. Woulda been better, but we ran out of weed on the second day.
I left Florida, for Erie PA, thinking I would get a hotel room when I got tired – never a problem in the past…do 600 to 700 miles and call it quits. NOT – could not get a hotel room anywhere, completly booked! Did all 1,200 miles in 18 hours (I think) I was delirius by the time I got there at 5:00 AM. I still am trying to identify the voices…….
Sunday, left home in RI at 8:39 a.m. and arrived at parent’s home in Southern WV at 10:30 p.m. Traveled with a 5 year old and a dog. Prior to the five year old’s arrival, I wouldn’t think anything about getting in the car Friday after work and driving to Florida and then coming back late on Sunday night and going to work on Monday morning. Five years later I barely have the energy to make this trip twice a year. I think my biggest road trip was a 2500 mile five day swing through the mid-atlantic states. I remember hitting the rumble strips somewhere close to WV on the way home and vowing never to make a trip like that again. Haven’t either.
@Not Oprah- Back in the days when I was on the road, we used to say that on the trip west, there was nothing worth stopping for between Steeles (Ave. in north TO) and Banff, (Alberta). Apologies to the flatlanders in between, but I always thought the North shore of Superior to amazingly beautiful, not to mention remote and rugged. It’s a little north of North Dakota.
@clint – I’ll buy Buffalo to Seattle in 48, sounds extreme, especially solo in a Corolla. I’m asking myself, why would a grown man do that?
Only a girl, or some big money delivery seems likely….
my parents had an Appaloosa name Booger that was infamous on those with the required testis or ovaries to ride him.
my wife and I currently own a cat named Zuki, nothing too much there other than the obvious shortened name, and the fact that he is one cool cat. he is currently more comfortable to being referred to as the Dude. not from the film or anything, just the Dude. certainly not the Dude of Life either or such.
yep, the day was long… the horse use to ROLL on those with… yada, yada… and so on…
Sophomore year I went skiing with the AXO’s. We left Baylor (Waco) in the morning and dropped a friend at the airport to go to CO Springs. We then ate dinner with said friend in CO Springs that night thanks to “borrowing” a congressman’s Suburban which is illegal to pull over in TX while congress is in session. Waco to New Mexico to New Mexico in record time… Roaches and cans flying out the window and swerving all the way. I’ve grown up now, but still take pride in that one.
Oh, and my mom has a horse named grape courtesy of my niece who was 3 when the Philly was born and was given the naming responsibility.
My Brother-In-Law had a Papillion Dog called Gordon!! WTF? I don’t know why, just makes me laugh..
Three cats:
Opus and Milo, both named after characters from Bloom County (“Bill” was just too obvious and clichéd). The third is Lister, named after Dave Lister from Red Dwarf. Lister is a HOX mutant and is sporting extra toes on his front paws.
Opus and Milo and gone now but Lister is still with the living.
@ brian – No apologies need, I could have better presented my statement to you. Believe me, it was not meant to make you feel attacked or slammed. I have had worse disagreements and with folks and we still remain friends. I am glad you enjoyed it, I would also suggest two other albums, “American Eats it’s Young”, where the original version of “Maggot Brain” was offered and “Cosmic Slop”. The guitar work from Hazel alone is just awesome. I think you will enjoy those two selection with equal enthusiasm.
@ Brynhildr – Now those were some unique names. He He!!!
I had worked a double shift with little or no sleep and had just got home from work when I learned of an emergency issue at a neighboring facility. I really had no choice and had to get there. It is about 125 miles each way. I started pounding caffeine, vivarin and ephedrine mini-thins and hit the road. Things started getting a little shaky and I ended up driving onto the shoulder of the road a few times and one time into the ditch. I got there and I was still marginally coherent. I took care of the problem, pounded more stay awake stuff and headed back home. I remember stopping for gas on my way out of town and next thing I remember is pulling up in front of my house and wandering around. I don’t remember anything from the trip back. Just filling up with gas and then pulling in the driveway. My roommates told me I was babbling incoherently and couldn’t find the door to the house or find my room. Never drove in that condition again.
A bulldog named after Clarence from “It’s a Wonderful Life”.
Growing up we had a Scottie named Pepper, my sister had a mutt named Elsie after Elsa the lion in Born Free, I had a dog named Spot. That was his name when we got him. He wasn’t even a Dalmation. He was a Coon Hound, Fox Hound, and German Short-haired Pointer.
My friend had a bird named HeadButt because she would always butt her head against him.
I have two cats: a male named Chairman Meow and a female named Easter. If Easter was a male, she would have been General Tsao.
Our first tabby cat was called Stripe-O (hey, I was five) until she started having babies and babies and babies. Neighbors started calling her Ruby (because she was always ‘taking her love to town’). We finally had Ruby spayed when she was ten. She lived to be 24 because she was so mean death was afraid to get around her.
I had a unusually huge Siamese cat that whose name was Mister Bootyhead.
Now, one of our three cats is The Buddha (because he is the enlightened one and he rules the roost). Certain times he strikes a familiar Cosmopolitan magazine pose from the 70s and will only answer to The Academy-Award-Nominated Star of Stage, Screen, and Television Mr. Burt Reynolds. He is a stern taskmaster. The other two answer to anything as long as you’re holding meat.
Drove from Orlando to Evansville, In to pick up a buddy and his girlfriend then immediately to Ohiopyle, PA for a rafting weekend. Left a 8 am and arrived in Ohiopyle just before 9 am the next morning. Only stopped for gas/piss breaks and to pick up my friend. Completely fueled on Mt. Dew and Doritos.
Growing up we had a cat and dog named Rocky and Bullwinkle, a second dog named Schnaaps and a third named Frampton.
Guy at my husbands work has last name Bird. Named his dog Larry.
My friend has a cat named Stay. “Come here, Stay!”
Another friend has a black cat named Coon.
I’ve done novelty driving:
-Oct 2002: Worked a regular week, took a Friday evening nap, woke up and left Ottawa at midnight headed for Augusta Maine to see Tool on the Saturday night. The show was sold out, I didn’t have a ticket and I went alone. It was a beautiful drive through Vermont but watch out for the moose! Got to the arena in the morning and managed to buy a ticket at face value from some friendly Tool fans. Napped in the car, then drank/ tailgated all afternoon, saw the show, spent the night sleeping in the car in a Walmart parking lot and drove back to Ottawa on the Sunday.
-Aug 2009: Worked till 4pm, drove Ottawa to Kingston to see Tool, spent night sleeping in car in Walmart parking lot, drove to Toronto in the morning, drank all afternoon (at hotel then at Ontario Place) and saw Tool again. Drove back to Ottawa the next day. Another solo trip.
-Aug 2001: After a regular day at work left Ottawa for Cape Hatteras, NC at 5pm with two friends who had spent the day drinking. Since I was the only one sober, they kept drinking and I drove the whole way – about 17 hours straight through the night. Thinking that once we saw the ocean we were pretty much at our destination, I started in on the beer at about 8am…I wasn’t clued in that we were still a few hours away from our rental house in Avon…great times that cannot be repeated.
-I’ve done Ottawa to Daytona Beach in under 19 hours…including all gas and food stops…with a supercharged Mustang and a radar detector.
Last Christmas, my cousin Eddie dropped in at Christmas all unannounced with his entire damn family. They have a dog names Snots. Only problem is, he’s got a little bit a Mississippi leg hound in ‘im. If the mood catches him right, he’ll grab your leg and just go to town. You don’t want him around if your wearing short pants, if you know what I mean. Word of warning though, if he does lay into ya, it’s best to just let ‘im finish.
I had a cat named Cuddlepants.
Jeff doesn’t like football, but can we talk about goddamn Michael Vick, until the update? Why does this fucking piece of shit get to go back to earning millions, and to sit on the bench until McNabb goes down with a mid-season injury? What were his dogs named? Homeless Food? Chinese TV Dinner? This guy should die, but did his time and now it’s all OK. Donte Stallworth hit and killed a guy in Miami. Expressed his regrets and got suspended for a year aftger his release. Roger Goodell, although the best commisioner the NFL has had in years, seems to be a little inconsistant with the punishments. Hopefully, it’s not to put people in the seats in Philly, as the reason for this, but this turd should have to continue his ten dollar an hour construction job for the rest of his life for KILLING PETS! I swear to God, I’m going to move to Canada. Whats the health care like there Tyrosine? I know I would like the weather already.
Did you know- everybody needs THREE flu shots this year to get by. No one in my family got them last year and no one got the flu. Just makin’ money for da man.
On IPOD right now- “King of Pain” The Police
Or maybe we can talk about someone who tried to assisinate the president 30 years ago got to walk.
Or maybe, we can just ignore me and wait for today’s update. Jeff did say ” And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”
DId you know- “The Penguins of Madagascar” is an awesome show?
On IPOD right now- “Hurt”- Johnny Cash version.
@Tyrosine: If you get another cat, will you name it Yaz Pistachio?
I use to have a cat named Violin Strings.
@ AWG,
Health care is pretty good up here, despite what republican strategists would like you to believe. Like any system (private or government) the media tends to pick up on horror stories, but overall I have no complaints and it’s never let me down. It’s NOT free by the way. You pay with higher taxes.
Don’t be so sure about the weather. Where I live the summers can get hot and humid. When you take the humidex into account highs of 105 are not unheard of.
Also, you’ll need to get accustomed to the metric system, but you’re free to hang out with all the octogenarians and complain about it while screaming at kids to get off you lawn.
I work with a slightly stupid, well very stupid chick that named her dog METALLIC. Metallic? WTF kinda name is that? Why not name the damn thing liquid or gaseous? Poor dog.
@Gretchen,
The next one will probably be Rimmer in keeping with the Red Dwarf theme. If I go back and dip into the Bloom County well I might go with Yaz, but I was thinking more of Portnoy, Hodge-Podge, or perhaps Rosebud.
@ Tyrosine – I love that series but PBS always shows it at off hours and never with any consistency. The same way they treated Dr Who. What do they have against Brit SciFi? The effects are cheesy but the wirting is great. Looks like I’m going to have to breakdown and get it on DVD.
I had a dog named Willie Nelson (which also happens to be the name of my penis).
My neighbor has three cats and all of them have vulgar names. One is named “Cunt” another is “Slut” and the male cat is “Fuckmouth”.
I have a friend who has an old orange cat who they named “Larry”. I always thought “Larry” was an odd name for a cat.
@Tyrosine: Loved grumpy ol’ Portnoy (you’re only 82 in ostrich years!). I’ve watched Red Dwarf on occasion but not enough to know names.
@ Shiny Rod,
I used to watch it on Showcase (PBS in Erie never carried it), but I eventually broke down and bought it. I think they have it at Netflix if you’re a member.
@ Gretchen,
I miss both Bloom County and Outland, but Berkley Breathed canceled both when he felt he was running out of new ideas and we were never forced to endure sub-standard strips. The final years were as good (better in fact) as the early ones.
@Tyrosine: I never got into Outland. To psychedelic for me! Didn’t care much for the short-lived Opus strip, which was a lot of rehashing of old jokes. Bloom County got me through middle and high school, even though I didn’t understand a lot of the jokes until I was older. I have all the books and still read them every now and then for a good laugh. Still quotable these many years later.
@ Gretchen,
Go back and give Outland a second try. He got off the psychedelic theme after a few months and it became very similar to the Sunday Bloom County strips with a few different characters and a new setting, and a weekly format. I never got a chance to catch Opus but I’m kinda glad. You can never truly go back (or something like that).
Had the flu so bad one year it developed into pneumonia and I thought I was going to die. Got a flu shot every year since and haven’t had the flu since. I am happy to make money for “da man” if it means I can keep from ever getting that sick again. Oh, and I will be getting another one this year.
Wow… There are a lot of cat people on here! It’s strange how I just assume that if I have something in common with people (like read yhe surf report) then they will be dog people.
Not that there’s anything wrong with cats, I’m obviosly biased because they occasionally scratch the paint on my car when I try to run them over.
@ Tyrosine – eBay, thats where I get most of series DVD’s. Then when I’m tired of them, I sell them back on eBay. I found a complete set new for $173
AWG-In order to have a discussion you need someone to take the other side which would be unpopular in MV’s case, however since I’m I glutton for punishment allow me to make the following argument;
1) He served his debt to society and has been cleared by the commissioner to play ball, need any more…Okay
2) Technically these dogs were not “pets” as you stated, they were raised soley for the purpose of fighting, which makes them more like cattle, which we kill and consume every day.
Sorry for any spelling errors I’m in a hurry
*Veiws reflected above may or may not reflect my personal feelings and were offered for discussion only.
@ Adam,
I like dogs too depending on how they are cooked
I have a cat simply because dogs require too much attention. We’re away a lot during the day and many evenings. If I had a dog it’s life would be pure hell. Cats appreciate their alone time.
Twin cats, owned by a friend of mine were named Martini and Rossi.
You know Jason, I’ll never be able to hear Willie Nelson’s “You were always on my mind” again without thinking about your penis.
Thanks for that…
@Tyrosine
LOL… I’m sure I’ve eaten my fair share of both cats and dogs. NEVER eat iguana! It’s pure hell how they hunt and sell them. At least it is in Curacao.
@ WB in OH – That still doesn’t excuse the cruelty to animals. It is reprehensive in my book and to use the excuse that it was a cultural thing is just down right BS. The same thing goes for chicken fights. Yeah, we eat chicken just like cows but I don’t know of any one eating dog inside the US.
@ Tammie – Well, that just ruined it for me too!
Maybe I didn’t love you
Quite as often as I could have
And maybe I didn’t treat you
Quite as good as I should have
And maybe I didn’t hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I’m so happy that you’re mine
Tell me,
Tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died
Give me, give me
One more chance to keep you satisfied
I’ll keep you satisfied
Thank God, an update!
1. grew up in Greensboro – would love to know more about your time there.
2. lived in NYC for a while and use to get off work at 2am as a, uhem, “exotic dancer” and drive straight to GSO. Roughly an 8 hour experience from what I recall. I also drove from GSO to Los Angeles in 48 hours by my self.
2. Current pet’s name is ‘Cherri Pie’.
All cats….
Mr. Jammers-female
Joe Montana-female
Folly Anne-male
I’ve had cats named Carl, Bert & Ernie, Debbie, Static, Sock, Pencil, Squirrel, and Blanco. And a rat named Susan. The last dog I had was named Bobby, and my parents’ old dog was named Murray.
The 1st cat I ever had when I was 6 I named Kitty DuPwah. She had 3 kittens that I named until they got homes, Measly, Retardo and Doofus. The wierd names of my pets sort of stuck- Ixion, Maru, Jared, and Jelly.
Salvador Doggie and What’s up Tiger Lily? Great Dog and Cat names!
Back in the mid-80′s I was a college student in Champaign-Urbana, IL. My friend and I did two Jazzfests, two years in a row…back when it was real, Man, and hadn’t been taken over by the corporate suits. Yeah, Man.
We would leave at 8pm on Thursday night and drive all night through MO, AR, MS all the way down to the Big Easy. 920 miles. Smoking cigars, drinking beer, and listening to Ray Charles and BB King the whole way. Would arrive Friday morning, hit the fairgrounds, drink beer the whole day in the hot sun, and then look for a place to stay.
25 years later, it is incomprehensible to me how I could ever have done that. I can’t even keep my eyes open past 9pm most evenings nowadays.
Worked a 3 to 1 shift (pm to am) then drove seven hours home (new job, new city, still owned the house in the old city)
i almost hit a bobcat on the way home…which is impressive considering they don’t live this far north. Three times i dodged around things that weren’t there.
best drive ever.
I named my insane Calico kitteh Schrodinger. I came up with my own answer to the thought experiment and decided that the Cat was most definitely alive.