Celebrity Death and Family Fun
How many actual albums did Michael Jackson release during the past thirty years? Three? Four? Hell, he’s only a few ahead of me, and I’ve been sitting around eating Funyuns and power-farting into upholstery my entire adult life.
In any case, it’s been a bad couple of weeks for celebs, hasn’t it? Maude, Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, Sky Saxon, Billy Mays, Scott Baio… Who am I missing?
I liked Ed, a lot; he and Johnny were the classiest, and the best. Maude scared me a little; I think she could palm a basketball. It was hard not to like Farrah; she provided, um, fuel for an entire generation of boys, worldwide.
Michael Jackson released some great singles, but I was never a huge fan; I probably own more than 10,000 albums and CDs, and not one is by MJ. Sky Saxon was one of the 1960s acid casualty musicians; I own two CDs by his old band, The Seeds.
I hope Billy Mays’ denim shirt and beard are on their way to the Smithsonian, as we speak; he seemed like a good guy. And Scott Baio hasn’t died, as far as I know; I just listed him as a “joke.”
Agree with my quickie reviews of the recently deceased? Tell us about it, in the comments.
On Friday the family, plus one, went to Knoebels amusement park. And it was a great time, as usual. Well, after we extracted ourselves from the Interstate 81 cluster-copulation, that is…
For roughly an hour we were either sitting still, completely, or inching forward so slowly the speedometer couldn’t read it. I hate I-81, it’s the devil’s parkway. I think the state of Pennsylvania just uses it as a jobs program, putting people to work doing “repairs” to stretches of road that don’t need fixin’.
But after that high-aggravation, we jumped onto I-80, and it was smoove sailing. Before we knew it, we were walking into the greatness that is Knoebels. God, that place is awesome…
It’s like going back in time to, say, 1965 or so. But everything is clean and well-maintained, and you never feel like you’re putting your kids at risk. It might be “vintage,” but it’s no K-Mart parking lot carnival.
Their food is also shockingly good. During the day I had cheese fries, a “Southern Style” barbecue sandwich, a sweet tea slushie type of deal, three perogies, and an ice cream cone (Moose Tracks).
And all took up residency under the heading of yum.
The boys don’t really need our help with anything anymore, so they were off on their own most of the time. Therefore, I didn’t ride as many things as I usually do. (Too busy eating.) But I went on the Phoenix roller coaster, and I think they had the speed all cranked-up on that thing.
You know how you practically come to a stop at the top of the first big hill of a coaster? Then you creep over the top, and all hell breaks loose? Well, on Friday we went sailing over that peak, without even a hint of slow-down.
It was crazy. The thing was careening around the corners, and it felt like the fillings were about to fall out of my teeth. I’ve probably been on that ride twenty times, and it’s never moved so fast. I was mildly concerned.
But it was a great day. While we were driving home, the younger Secret said, “Can we go again tomorrow?!” It always leaves you wanting more.
The older Secret brought a friend whose mother is a little on the Nancy side of the spectrum. She doesn’t let him eat garbage and crap, and everything’s gotta be a learning experience. Therefore, he loves going places with us…
I think he had four bottles of root beer, a couple hot dogs, a wheelbarrow full of candy, and a family-sized serving of macaroni and cheese for dinner, at Cracker Barrel. His mother would’ve had a stroke, but I think he had more fun than any of us.
I took a bunch of pictures during the day, but this is the only one I really like.
What did you do over the weekend? Anything exciting? Tell us about it, won’t you? Use the comments link below.
And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.
Filed under: Daily
first?
Is that chick in the pic openly laughing at that big dude? ‘Cause if I were him I would guess yes.
Michael Jackass had a few good songs about a hundred years ago, before he went fruitloops and started playing with little boys. I guess he’s paying his dues now.
Tada!
First??
Your wife took a picture of you?
No wonder you keep blowing the ass out of your pants.
Wow, Top ten…never happened to me before
You ass, I can’t believe you posted a picture of my backside. Bastard.
Love the old style amusement parks. Holiday World is my favorite by far here in the midwest.
HOLY CRAP THAT GUY’S GOT VARMINTS RUNNING AROUND HIS THIGHS!
SC – I think the chick is laughing at Jeff taking a picture of the big dude (:
Whew – I was nervous there for a minute thanks to your joke. Whaddya mean Scot Baio died! NOOOOO!
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…….
typical weekend in typical fashion. Sat. work ’til 3, golfed 18 holes with the wife and a friend, drank copious amounts of Miller High Life.
Sunday was about the same, but without the golf.
Isn’t it amazing there is always a run on celebrity deaths? For months, nothing, then all of a sudden they’re everywhere. Thinking hard on who could possibly be next….
Fred Travalena
Went to a Hawaiian themed party – woke up with a Hawaiian themed hangover. Stupid delicious Mai-Tais….
I took my little girl to see a 3-D movie, I think it’s called “UP” or something like that. I hate going to the theator, so I make it out there about once every 4-5 years. They’re really improved on the 3-D thing, I must say. I thought we’d get the shitty paper glases with one red lens and one blue lens, but the glasses they gave us looked like Roy Orbison glasses, and the lenses were clearish.
On Sunday I had beer, food, blah, blah, blah.
I spent the entire weekend studying for a test that I took this morning.
I got a 76%.
74.9 is an F.
I did worse than I did onthe last test (one I didn’t study for).
Whisky Tango Foxtrot.
Ooop, there;’s the next death. As Ognir noted, Fred Travalena assumed room temperature today, starting yet another trifecta.
If I was Scott Baio I’d be checking into a hospital and demanding a full battery of tests.
Damn! Growing up in the innards of northcentral PA, we’d make the short trek to Knoebel’s a couple times a year! You’re making me long for the smells of Old Smokey and the totally environmentally-unsafe drive-u-self Motor Boats!
Funnel pants!!!!
May I never end up as “Further Evidence” or as a random photo posted to this website. Finally, a new goal in life. Thanks, Jeff!
Our best event was sitting at Sam’s club eating pizza one table away from several employees taking their breaks. Amongst other things, they were comparing the relative merits of area public restrooms and hoarse whispering the scandalous fact that the construction workers doing the remodel of Sam’s Don’t. Even. Speak. English.
1989 would like to welcome South Charleston, WV.
@ hardoxdan- Pretty close to what I was gonna say.
Jeff- All that food you consumed- AND Cracker Barrel??? We’d like to have updates for many years to come!
Funnel Pants 2: Electric Boogaloo
The wife and I worked on the house all weekend trying to get it ready for sale. Now we can let it sit on the market for two or three years.
Hey – don’t forget David Carradine – he was dead before dead was cool.
Whole bunch more than first.
Wife and I went to dinner with old friends.
Drank a Bass Ale (22oz.) or three then a couple of Makers Marks.
Got nicely buzzed.
Had the DD.
They bought dinner and drinks.
Thank you!
I’ll have to buy next time…Subway anyone?
Kennywood August 1st. Look OUT!
You can’t break the rules of physics.
Maybe the velocity of the roller coaster increased
due to the added mass in the car, just sayin’.
Gale Storm died, so I guess it starts a new list. Just hope Patrick Swayze isn’t on it.
btw Jeff after hearing Stevie sing Silent Night she is banned from my playlist forever.
Watch out Ryan Oneil. Wiki says about Fred Travalena – “He appeared in the series premiere of the short-lived 1991 sitcom Good Sports with Ryan O’Neal and Farrah Fawcett.”
Gleaned corn
went swimming
took a long-ass nap
went jogging
cooked a tasty dinner
drank
slept
took a ride to Richmond
Got free lunch there
saw Arthur Ashe trying to put the beatdown on a bunch of kids with a book and a tennis raquet
Drove back
cooked a tasty dinner
drank
That’s it!
Bill in PA — Had the DD? What is that? Please tell me you weren’t referring to your wife.
(PS – I like your added mass theory. Seems logical to me.)
It was too effin’ hot here to do anything this weekend. The thermostat in the coolest part of the house registered 86 degrees at 8am on Saturday, and the high hit around the “mid-100s” (though I doubt the weatherman meant it was 150 degrees outside). I’m freckled and pasty white, and no amount of sunblock can protect me from rays like that. The good news is that the weather gave me the opportunity to get the available memory on the DVR back up to 95%, thereby soothing my OCD a little.
For the record, I posted Fred Travelena on the last post from the previous update, before today’s came out.
Bea Arthur- seemed like a good guy
Ed McMahon (have to say it again ) “Heeeeeere’s Jesus!!”
David Carradine- Excellent in “Kill Bill”. No so good in killing himself.
Sky Saxon- Had to look that one up.
Farrah- Beautiful woman with an affliction that doesn’t seem so funny now that she’s dead.
Billy Mays- WILL EVERYONE SCREAM AT THE WAKE?
Michael Jackson- Getting way too much adoration right about now. Did everyone forget that he touched little boys. It’s like, all of a sudden, “We have lost a national treasure” Fuck that, you don’t pay off a family 20 million dollars if you are innocent. Anxiously awaiting Corey Feldman to come out with the “michael sucked me off” story any week now.
The weekend. Ran a friends restaurant for three days while he and his wife were on vacation. Watched the Rays win in the bottom of the ninth on Saturday night at the Trop. Saw Pat Benatar after the game in a free concert in center field. She looks exactly the same. However, her guitarist husband looks like he aged about fifty years.
Sunday, got to a parking space before another guy. He waited beside my car to verbally bitch slap me. Got out and looked down at him and he left without a word. Too bad. I feel this building need to give someone a beatdown before I explode at an inappropriate time.
Last night- watched the movie “Control”, about Ian Curtis and Joy Division.
Jeff,
You missed Jay Bennett on June 23.
I tore down an old chicken coop Saturday. It was way too effin’ hot. Luckily I was paying my unemployed brother to help me so I spent a considerable amount of time in the shade with a cold adult beverage watching him work.
@Tiff-Gleaned corn? How does one glean corn?
Ed McMahon was, indeed, a nice man. I worked/lived at the Post Ranch Inn in Big Sur for a cuppola years in the late 80s. Had to sign a confidentiality contract – met lots of famous folks. Ed was, BY FAR, the nicest. Douchiest is a tie between Suzanne Somers and Mickey Roarke (and his chihuahua in a black turtle neck that matched the one he had one.. Sheesh) MANY good stories from that part of my life.
Spent the weekend getting the house ready for sale, just like Your Public. Hoping ours goes fast, though. San Francisco seems to have been a little bit of an oasis in the real estate shit storm. Jeezum Crow you accumulalte a lot of shit when you’ve lived in the same place for 10 years. I figure if I haven’t laid a hand on it for a year, it’s trash, right?
Evidently, the medical world in SoCal knew MJ had been a junkie for many years. Has been on their unofficial Death Watch for awhile now. (Got that from a good source). Dude was a pedophile – don’t care if he was the King of Pop.
Happy Monday, Surfers!
Could care less about dead people I never met. Callous? Maybe.
Anyway, this past weekend we got the ole 4-wheeler out and spent Saturday riding around in the woods. Then Saturday night indulged in too much golden elixir. Sunday nursed a hangover and visited with some friends and family. Excellent low-key weekend and this weekend looks like it might be a repeat.
I attended a Pirates game on Saturday where I watched us thump Kansas City. Yea/yay! Oh, and I got into it with some asshat who had commandeered our seats and was trying to trade with us because he didn’t like the one he had purchased as it’s situated within a puddle. Just as I was telling him “Tough shit, you bought it, you sit in it!”, my husband, aka The Negotiator, worked out some sort of deal where we took seats from others in his party and no one had to sit in the puddle. Unfortunately it placed us in the very center of the row, which meant much scrambling over all manner of other grouchy folk to get to the bathroom. And I had Jabba the Hutt behind me kicking my chair. Oh yes, there was some black belt cursing well into the evening, at least until we started winning.
The weekend consisted of buying a new Caravan for $10k, (which is cheap enough for me to not worry about how crappy they are supposed to be) and picking up my new iPod.
When my consumer feeding frenzy was done, I sat my son down to watch the “Boy for Sale” scene from Oliver! as a cautionary warning as to what will happen to him if he decides to make a mess in the new van.
For the second time….got married!!! Definitely worth the wait!!!!!!
@Brynhildr I was referring to my wife, the designated driver.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.
I was toying with the idea of saying something “cute” about double D’s and such, but I’d end up dead in the woods with bloodhounds looking for me and I wouldn’t be able to post any more, so I think I’ll just forget about it.
Congrats, Sonny!
Spent Friday evening worrying about my mom while she got one of her arteries “roto-rooted” out. Then I fed her dinner since she had to lay still for 3 hours and not raise her head. Parent/child role reversal.
Saturday night, I went out with a gaggle of gay gooses and ended up at the most ghetto drag show ever. I laughed my ass off.
@WB in OH re: corn gleaning. It’s basically just picking corn in a field a farmer doesn’t want to hire out for real harvest. In this case, it was a field of short-ass bug-ridden sweet corn that was being gleaned on behalf of a local charity. Couldn’t have sold even 10% of what came out of that field. *shiver* Most if it needed the tops snapped off to evict any evidence that something’d been eating the corn before the intended recipients.
Also? It takes a hell of a long time to pick just 1 100-yard-long row of corn by hand. Seems ti take even longer once the temps reach about 95. Went just-about straight from there to the pool.
CONGRATULATIONS SONNY!
My second marriage is turning out to be one of the best ideas ever. Hope yours turns out the same!
Too bad about Michael Jackson, you people are so cruel. McDonalds is coming out with a tribute burger to the King of Pop, 50 year old meat between 10 year old buns!!!!
@ Sonny – So now they can actually call you a 2-timer.
@ tiff – A task I know all to well. Tomatoes are not much fun either. Peaches and strawberries are to tempting. I usually eat a bushel before I pick one.
@ AngryWhiteGuy – He (allegedly) touched, no one knows for sure if it happened or not. Paying folks off to keep quiet is not admission of guilt and we won’t argue over semantics. Our government has been doing that for hundreds of years. But of course thats the criminal lawyer in me talking.
Thanks Tiff!
Re: Photo of the jello-man.
Either the woman holding the can of Mountain Dew is openly laughing at the guy, which would seem very rude; or she is gleefully anticipating his arrival, which would imply that they are somehow related; which is potentially very shocking, in that it means they could be related by marriage — shocking, that is, because she is semi-hot, while he is absurdly grotesque.
I am sad. So very sad. I think that I should channel all of my sadness-energy into writing an emo rock opera for all of the dead celebrities. Then I will have Conor Oberst perform it for all of the world to see so that they can share in my deep deep sadness.
@ Jeff – MJ released 10 albums as a single artist, 7 compilation albums and 6 other releases.
@ Swami Bologna – and how about the deck on top of the pickup. Jeff Foxworthy could do a whole comedy routine from that picture.
Congrats Sonny!
@ Brynhildr – Ach, wenn nur über stehen könnte, und fächelt Sie whilest, den Sie sich und rekeln, nippt auf kühler eisiger harter Limonade. Durfte jene Farrah faux Lautsprecher ausgleichen.
I didn’t even notice the deck. I was too busy marveling at the creative spelling. If yer gonna spend that much time creating an elaborate sign to honor your fallen hero, I would think ya would pull out a dictionary, no?
I’m just sayin’ — NOT.
This weekends events culminated into completing my final exams for this quarter. Nothing spectacular, but this weekend, I am going to Ocean Side to relax in my condo there until the next quarter starts on the 6th of July.
What about the shirts?
@tiff-
“saw Arthur Ashe trying to put the beatdown on a bunch of kids with a book and a tennis raquet”
Didn’t Arthur Ashe die in 1993?
Shiny Rod — Sag mir bitte, dass Du Professor, und nicht Student bist. Ich möchte kein Kinderschänder sein, wenn Du mit mir turtelst.
Cocksucker made me Wiki Scott Baio. Now I can’t ever again say “I’ve never Wikied Scott Baio.” Bastard!
@Carol – yes, he dies, but his memory lives in the form of a statue on Monument Ave. There are children statues cringing at his feet, I sh-t you not.
This last weekend sucked the royal root. I had to work on Saturday, installing a software patch on twenty gazillion workstations. And of course, the thing just barely works. Upgrade, schmupgrade. Lots of ‘splaining to my customer.
So I decided to drink myself into oblivion on Saturday evening. Which seemed like a good idea at the time. However, spent all day Sunday laying on the couch and regreting my Saturday night decision.
Then, like, twenty celebreties died. And they were all 50. I turn 50 this Friday. I’m doomed.
Had a lady pull up Saturday and asked if I was prepared for the end of the world. Jeezum Fucking Crow….WHAT!!! I guess dying one by one is one thing but…..everybody at once?? Damn lady!!
I’m trying to put something together for mockable (she truly was) but I”m afraid it’s to long. “Door To Door Doom.” It was just to good of an opening line to let her go to quick. Man….unbeliveable.
sonny:
may u always be as happy as i thought i would be at each of my 4 weddings
ralph – at least you’re a believer. I retired (burned) my veil after #1.
I only wanted to get married once, so I waited until I was 42.
We’ll see….
Glad I’m not the only one that assumed that the photo was of our host being coy. I thought maybe he had a pimple or something. Either that or the hut selling the butter buckets of gravy stuffed doughnuts was have a buy one get one free at the end of the day.
I like how one of the banner ads has Dale Earnhardt jr for Godaddy.com, when his daddy is featured on today’s bunker cam.
went to Brick Store Pub on Friday, drank Victory Pils and Fuller ESB’s and had Perogi Primavera, the wife had Ale Fingers and a Coke. For once I out ordered her.
Dined with old people on Saturday, discussed Gout, and soaked up an added level of cynicism, ah… the future.
Grilled out on Sunday, added to my Colonoscopy collection, ah… the future.
I love Knobels it is simply the best. But Jeff it needs to stay secret
@ Brynhildr – Ich bin ein Student, den ein Grad vollendet, das ich habe angefangen vor 15 Jahren und mein Kind, das Tage erzieht, ist weit hinter mir. Geringes Wortspiel auf dem erziehend teils. Lässt nur sagt, dass mich ein Michael Jackson im gleichen Jahr geboren wurden.
girlgoyle – never heard of it until today. The words out – I now have it on my ‘todo’ list.
@Brynhildr/ Herr Shiny Roden….Knocken der fucken offen. Mein urgen mit drinken das beers…encreasen.
DTO – Hilarious!!!!
Gretchen – good idea. You need to figure out what you want (or don’t) in life before you take that commitment. I got married at 27 to someone who was hot and funny…..at the time….
Sorry – meant Knucklehead.
@tiff-
Thanks for explaining that (about the Arthur Ashe statue). I thought I must have been missing something! Whoa, I just googled a photo of it. That is pretty weird!
I got nuthin’ better to do.
@ Brynhildr – Ah, if only could survive, and your fans while, and you and loll, sip on ice cold lemonade hard. Farrah was the faux speaker balance.
Shiny Rod – Tell me that you’re a professor and student are not. I do not want a child, if you with me turtelst.
@ Brynhildr – I am a student who completes a degree that I’ve started 15 years ago and my child, the day grows, it is far behind me. Low word game on the parents part. Lets just say that I am Michael Jackson in the same year were born.
@ Brynhildr / Mr Roden Shiny …. Knocke the fucker open. My Urgen to drink the beers … encreasen.
Brian – I love old peole when they are fiesty and not want to inflcit their doom and gloom. Spent time at the Christmas table once and all anyone wanted to talk about was surgery. Just wanted to dig my way into a crypt.
Just met a lady who is 102 – looks more like she is in her late 70′s. She has decided when her ‘caller’ comes she’s not answering. I love attitude!
Jeezum Crow, can’t someone have a private conversation? Bill, crappy translation, close but crappy. Lets just say that there is some verb disagreement going on. I’m also LMAO
@ Hope – since I’m UNDER a half-century old, I had to google Gale Storm and was so convinced that the search would reveal one of the original porn stars (circa Ron Jeremy), I was already composing stuff in my head along the lines of “if a porn star dies off-screen, does anybody care?” …only to find out she was a singer. In black & white. What am I supposed to do with that??
They apparently don’t make names like they used to…
And goddamn Jeff for making stop reading and google Scott-goddamn-Baio between paragraphs 2 and 5. Hmphh.
DTO – very funny, but have you forgotten where you are? Something about this website screams “MORE BEER” on a regular basis and it ain’t my German.
Bill in WV — Aw, why’d ya have to go and do that? At least if Shiny Rod and I use German, everyone will skip over our posts due to the increased energy expenditure involved in translating. And no one loses their lunch this way. (btw – what I really said was that I hoped he was a professor and not a student because I didn’t want to feel like a child molester. Kinda different from your translation, which actually makes me sound like I was saying something dirty. What must you be thinking?)
Shiny Rod — Same as Anna Nicole Smith for me. (Just keeping with the theme of celebrities whose deaths were drug-related.)
@ Brynhildr – I actually share a birthday with Kevin Sorbo, Alan Combs, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Manfred Wörner and just to keep up with the beer theme, Sir Arthur Guinness.
@DTO – laughen out louden
This weekend I took the family to Westmoreland State Park in VA and hunted for Shark Tooth Fossils. We had a great day and found 4 or 5 and one very good speciman.
Jeff you boys would love standing in the Potomac River searching for the teeth. It is like digging for gold but you actually find a few.
@ Brynhildr / Mr Roden Shiny
I have a sincere interest in everything you guys have to say, even if it’s in German. Don’t rely on Google translator for anything important, though.
Plus, I got nuthin’ better to do.
Ich habe jetzt zu verlassen, ist es an der Zeit zu einer Müllkippe.
WTH is a Mullkippe?
(I got the rest of it…5 years of German in HS ain’t TOTALLY abandoned me)
Tschuss, y’all!
Man…I had a cool ‘Birthday Party’ at my place a week ago. Since we’re on a German theme… Jeff,I hope you don’t mind if I invite a few of your volks (you too) to stop over and check it out. It’ still up over there. Hope it’s not rude to ask….-d
tiff – a Müllkippe is literally a garbage dump, but I think Bill is referring to the other type of dump frequently referenced here.
Google translator hung me out to dry again! Rats!
@ Bill in PA – since “rearing” is not translatable in German, educate is the closes verb of reference and no I do not use google for translations. I will use a translator when I need to refernece a word I don’t know or understand but not google. But thats just because it is quicker to look it up online than to thumb through my book and then dig through a verb reference chart. I studied German in college back in the 70′s. I learned how to read and write it but I’m a little rusty speaking since not many folks in my area of expertise speak a foreign language. Was die ficken war ich hier bis zu 3:00 Uhr am Morgen?
@ Shiny Rod That’s a good question. You need to get some sleep or a strong cup of coffee.
The Bunker Cam – I don’t think Biggie and Tupac will be sporting angel wings where they went.
Shiny Rod – the Chinese govt sent troops into Tiananmen Square with orders to clear the area before 6am the next day. Confederate Memorial Day. The Duke of Windsor married Wallis Simpson. Train disaster in Eschede, Germany. Montenegro declared independence from Serbia. First American spacewalk during Gemini IV. Roberto Rossellini, Stephen Douglas, Johann Strauss II, Ayatollah Khomeini, Franz Kafka, and David Carradine died.
Further Evidence – Jeff, this is what you have to look forward to with the translucents. Hours of video tape fun, wow, that kid was pissed.
I’d say the kid is future inmate #666-666-666 if he doesn’t get some help.
@ Brynhildr – and I missed it, I will make sure I have it on my calendar for next year. I hope it was an enjoyable day for you. My mother’s birthday is the next day. I sent her a card and a check for $50. My brothers and sister gave her a party where she bought all the food. Probably from the check I sent her. Enough of my family issues. Never the less, I hope that you where treated like a queen and pampered to the extreme. Wait, and all this time, I thought Kafka turned into a big cockroach?
Hope he’s not Catholic, they may want to exorcise him.
Weird Bunkercam pic. I do not understand the significance of Atticus Finch in the picture.
Did you know- Michael Jackson died?
On IPOD right now- “Judith” – A Perfect Circle
My mother is sentimental about birthdays.. She handed me a $100 bill and a bunch of chocolates from her recent trip to Germany. Her birthday was two weeks ago, so I took her to out to eat and got her a gigantic slab of prime rib with all the fixins. She’s easy that way — usually happy with anything beef-related and bloody.
(Oh, and yes, Kafka did turn into a big cockroach. He died flailing around on his back like a fat lady in a ditch. My favorite Kafka is actually Der Aufbruch, though.)
Jeff just texted and asked me to tell everyone that the internet in the bunker just shit the bed. Therefore, no update today. We’re mourning the loss of a cultural icon over at mockable if you want to hang out.
AWG – Atticus was the defender of the innocent against racial injustice ‘cuz you know how innocent Biggie and Tupac were. “Angels”, the two of them. Or perhaps these two represent the innocents Scout and Jem as they watch injustice in action from the colored balcony.
I could be wrong. I’ll admit I’m a little in awe of the depiction of Biggie’s fat rolls, as well as the heart-shaped emphasis on his navel.
Celebrity deaths come in threes. This weekend it was Ed McMahon, Farah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson.
BUT for a limited time only, BILLY MAYS will offer you a fourth celebrity death for just the cost of shipping and handling! Call now, we’re going fast!!!!!!!!!!
Musical thoughts
June 30, 2009
I consider myself to be a great fan of music- All music- not just the stuff that gets me through the day, but I am always open to listening to what others like. Sometimes, those particulars continue to get rammed down my throat for all eternity, to the point where I want to scream if I hear THAT FUCKING SONG OR BAND AGAIN!!!! There are a few bands through the decades that come to mind.
Now I know I am going to piss someone off here, but, seriously, what the fuck is the drawing power of Jimi Hendrix? It’s not like he was the first brother to play the electric guitar, so rule that out. His voice was nothing spectacular. He didn’t write anything that meant anything. I can’t get behind any of his songs. None were number one hits. In fact, All Along the Watchtower, not even written by him, is the only song to reach the top twenty in the US (#20). I cannot change the station fast enough if I have to listen to the radio and Hendrix comes on.
Now I know I am going to piss someone off here, but, seriously, what the fuck is the drawing power of Motley Crue? Vince Neil sounds like a cat that can speak , and looks nowadays like Jon Lovitz with a blonde wig. The other guys have not let themselves go like that. Mick Mars has always had that Joey Ramone “I’m almost dead” look, so he does not count. The songs all sound the fucking same to me. I can’t get behind any of them. I seriously thought these assholes would disappear about 20 years ago, but the fan base just keeps letting them go on, and on, and on, and on. The only two bands I really liked that came out of that era were Tesla and Skid Row. And while we’re at it……
Now I know I am going to piss someone off here, but, seriously, what the fuck is the drawing power of Aerosmith? Couldn’t they have just put out “Night in the Ruts” and “Toys in the Attic” and then just left with the money. Why, oh God, why did they come back? I blame RUN-DMC for this. If not for the re-done “Walk This Way”, we would have never heard from Steve and Joe again. But no, we had to endure “Dude Looks Like…. And Love in an Elevator…. And that fucking awful song from the meteor movie” and there’s no sign of them leaving any time soon.
Now I know I am going to piss someone off here, but, seriously, what the fuck is the drawing power of Coldplay? I can’t get over the fact that when the song “Yellow” came out, I boldly predicted that this band would never be heard from again. Now, everybody I know likes goddamn Coldplay. Maybe this plagiarism thing between them, Joe Satriani , Creaky Boards and the terrorist version of Cat Stevens will make them go away, but who knows.
I apologize to any Ed McMahon fans out there who were offended by my “Heeeeeere’s Jesus!” statement upon his death. I know it was cold and callous of me, and I am deeply remorseful. If you have any terrific and awesome Ed McMahon stories to share, please put them in the comments section. Okay, didn’t think so. However, there is good news. I got 64 points in the celebrity death pool. Thanks, Ed!
Seriously, does no one fucking remember that just a week ago, Michael Jackson was branded a child molester. It’s as if all is forgiven now by the press, the conglomerate that ran him into the dirt for sucking off little boys. Oh, I’m sorry, ALLEDGEDLY sucking off little boys. The 27 million dollar payoff, much more than a trial would have cost, only meant he did not want to be bothered with it, therefore, giving him much more free time to suck off little boys. And today, of course, they found that he taped a video just two days before his death. Well of course he fucking did. Nothing like stretching this out as far as it can go. I always hated MJ, and always will. Leave it to this prancing little faggot to steal Farrah’s thunder. It’s like—“The greatest motherfucker in the world of music died today, and so did Farrah Fawcett”. I’m just sickened by it.
Heard this song on the radio yesterday- performed to the repeated song line of Billie Jean-
“Michael Jackson is dead, You fucking hypocrites, don’t pretend you give a shit, remember what you said he did.” Michael Jackson is dead, You fucking hypocrites, don’t pretend you give a shit, remember what you said he did.” I think this might be it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVACUjHn6yU, but the corporate pinheads have blocked sound from coming out of my computer, so I do not know. Try it and let me know.
Did you know- Michael Jackson sucked off Corey Feldman and MacCauley Culkin, and they will reveal that in the weeks to come, just never letting this story die?
On IPOD right now- “When the Levee Breaks”- Led Zep
Goodnight sweet prince.
OK, more info, in case you wanted it. “Michael Jackson is Dead” is by a guy named “Jon Lajoie”. Also did a really good song called “Show me your Genitals” Crazy Canadian!!
Did you know- Betsy Ross was born with a fully formed set of teeth?
On IPOD right now- “Runnin’ with the Devil”- VH
I always look forward to the photos of previous trips to Knoebels. Won’t you please post them again for us to enjoy?
AWG – I couldn’t agree more.
Crappy updateless afternoon.
Happy Tuesday, Surfers!
Hey, kids – it looks like Mr. Knucklehead and I may be on House Hunters International! I’ll keep you posted.
I thought Biggie was Al Roker the first time I looked at it!
@ Brynhildr – An excellent choice, I had to read Metamorphosis in high and then again in college. Lets just say my college professor was in for a big surprise when he started asking questions about the story.
@ bennigan’s nazi – They are doing special tribute to Billy on the next episode of “Pitch Men”. I guess the Sham Wow guy is the next in line to take Billy’s place on the show.
oops, I almost missed it
On IPOD right now- “Shame”- Robin Trower
Queen of Pin up posters dead.
King of Pop dead.
King of infomercial dead.
King of Ass Clowns…Just won his court case and will be Minnesota’s next Senator… way to go Al Franken.
@ AngryWhiteGuy – Steve Vai, the guy is in my opinion an better guitarist that Jimmy Page but thats my opinion. After I heard his duel with Ry Cooder in “Crossroads”, I was sold. I don’t even hear Steve Tyler’s voice when I listen to Aerosmith but he is a descent frontman. Not perfect but descent.
On IPOD right now – “Whiter Shade of Pale”- Procol Harum
This is what happens when I’m bored at work, and there’s not a new WVSR update:
http://twitpic.com/8votb
@ND: That is so multi-level wrong, but i like it! LOL !!
ND – that is so cute.
nothing’s going on….
…just sayin’
Ho-ly shit. The kid in further evidence video is gonna end up in a tall building with a high powered rifle someday.
I think the part that disturbs me the most is where in his fit of rage he attempts to shove the remote control up his ass. The hell ?!? You know, I’ve been pretty pissed off at various times in my life but it’s never reached a pitch where I felt like shoving things up my ass.
Further Evidence kid. Total fake. I knew it when I saw this.
http://j.photos.cx/scrxuw-9b6.gif
Further Evidence kid. Total fake. I knew it when I saw this.
[img]http://j.photos.cx/scrxuw-9b6.gif[/img]
Crap. Sorry for the double post.
@ Bennigan’s Nazi – excellent Billy Mays mock….
@ AngryWhiteGuy
You don’t know dick about good music.
Yes, “Night in the Ruts” was a travesty. But the first four Aerosmith albums (Aerosmith, Get Your Wings, Toys in the Attic, Rocks) fuckin’ rocked. Just the fact that you mentioned “Night in the Ruts” and “Toys in the Attic” in the same sentence demonstrates that you are not paying attention.
And Jimi lit his guitar on fire! Are You Experienced? Who lights their guitar on fire any more?
Next you are going to be telling us that Nirvana was just another one-hit wonder, and the Who were overrated.
Get the fuck out of town. List three albums that you enjoy and I will mock them into the ground.
Woo hoo hoo, we got us a good old surf report throw down brewin’
Hope that internet gets fixed in the bunker before it gets too ugly around here.
Also, I don’t know why but I do enjoy me some Coldplay…mock away
No, Nirvana and the Who are high on my list of what I listen to. I forgot about Hendrix lighting his guitar on fire. That changes my opinion about the music altogether.
So anyway, those were my opinions.
Try these three-
1. Exile on Main Street- Rolling Stones
2. Hotel California- Eagles
3. The Specials- The Specials
“Now I know I am going to piss someone off here”- see?
@ Taiwan On – Now, now, let ‘s not go Further Evidence level rage, like me, he was only stating his opinion. I am quite sure some people think I’m crazy for hinting that Jimmi Page is an over rated guitarist. Sure, he can play guitar with a violin bow but I have not seen him sporting a triple neck guitar. I concur that Aerosmith’s first four were good solid rock albums, I even like some of the offerings in Pump and Permanent Vacation. They seem to have taken a commercial bend as of late and I have not enjoyed anything produced after the Armeggedon song. I think he did that for Liv more than for musical taste. My approach would have been a little more aggresive if I knew my daughter was being poked by Ben Affleck, my god, didn’t he poke Jennifer Lopez? Ewww…
Glad you folks are listening.
Let me start by saying that Liv Taylor is a full on hottie. It blows me away that Steve Tyler produced this thing of beauty. I would definitely hit that.
And thanks AWG for fessing up on Aerosmith’s original albums and Jimi being Jimi. True.
Here I will try to mock three albums that I know you selected because they are excellent and extremely unmockable:
1. Exile on Main Street – Rolling Stones. The Rolling Stones never really made one good album. They pumped out a lot of good singles, but they weren’t a classic album band. Except for the zipper.
2. Hotel California – Eagles. Man you are really taxing my mockabilities. This is a great album. But weren’t the Eagle’s a little pussy? And what up with Hell Freezes Over? They lose points for not being able to keep it together.
3. The Specials – The Specials. No matter how hard I try, I can’t say anything bad about the Specials. Please don’t freak.
I know, pretty weak mock. You listed three excellent albums. Jeezum Crow.
Thanks, Taiwan, there’s more where those came from. Have a great B-Day on Friday.
Ok, here my spin.
The Rolling Stones have just been at it for so long, nobody even know if they have done anything bad. Back a few years when they started getting into the commercialism of MTV. I was less appreciative of anything they wrer putting out but they seem to have turned it around and gotten back to what works.
Hotel California is still critically acclaimed as the best album ever recorded “acoustically speaking”. If we can ever get Henley, Fry and Walsh to stop acting like little babys with a little to much pop in their pants, they can produce another album of equal or better performance.
I have to say that I have never experienced the offering from The Specials since most of my rock listening is mainstream and I tend to listen to studio bands more than performing artist. I don’t listen just because somebody says they are a good band. I listen because I am want to hear and experience the artists feelings about they music and unfortunately, a lot of rock bands don’t have feeling in there music. It’s just noise to me. I guess thats why I listen to Robin Trower, Neal Schon and Eric Johnson more than any other artist. These are the guys most try to emulate when it comes to pure emotion in their art. But you can tell when someone is faking it and brother, there are a lot of bands out there faking it.
Aerosmith- “Honkin on Bobo”- Check it out. Although most of the songs are covers, it is fantastic.
Counterpoint!
Taiwan On you ignorant slut:
The Stones did actually make one really good album; flawless, I would dare to submit. The album is entitled “Beggars Banquet”, and it represents a transition from the Brian Jones* era Stones to the Keith- and Mick-dominated era. This record really doesn’t contain any weak material. Its the first Stones record produced by Jimmy Miller. I had not thought of this record for awhile, but put it on over the weekend while cleaning house, and was reminded of it’s flawlessness.
*You can hear some great Brian Jones harmonica and slide guitar parts on this album, but a lot of his instrumentation was more or less buried in the mix. He was too f*cked-up to make it to very many sessions, and was dismissed from the band at this point. Not long after, we was found floating in his pool.
@ Lee Harvey Ramone – I can smell the passion!!!
I am mainly into the dead rock musicians (i.e. the 27 club). Interestingly enough, Brian Jones was the one without the white lighter at the time of his death.
I think I’ll go join Jason on the uncool / un-hip couch because I just had to Google “white lighter” to understand WTF you were talking about.
Brynhildr-Would you save me a spot on the couch?
I’ll bring a six pack of Light beer and my Dave Matthews CD’s?
Congratulations to West Virginia for picking up the bronze in the Adult Obesity Olympics. Mississippi took the gold, and Alabama the silver. Wear it with pride.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31681795/ns/health-fitness/
@ Brynhildr – Your still cool/hip in my book. I just listen to a lot of music and have for a long time. First rock group I got introduced to was the Kinks. I love the AM groups from the 70′s, you know, the ones you hear on the radio on those long cross country drives. We did a lot of travelling around since my dad served in the Airforce. I worked for IU Soul Revue as a roadie when I was in college because I had one of the best ears for sound placement. When I was in the Navy, I had my own one hour radio rock show on AFRTS. I showcased a lot of the current jazz, rock and r&b bands then. I’ve lost my DJ chops but not my love of music.
Playing now on the iPod – “Before Dawn” – Joyce Cooling
WB – you’re welcome to join us, but sadly there isn’t enough room for Dave Matthews because Coldplay are already there. Lite beer is OK, though. Like drinking water. I’m parched.
@ WB in OH – Sacrelidge, just pure unadulterated sacrelidge, lite beer and Dave Matthews…
Playing now on the iPod – “25 or 6 to 4” – Chicago
Happy Canada Day, Eh!!
I’d bring some Yuengling but the bastards don’t sell it in Ohio.
I know that what I’m about to say is blasphemy, but here goes…Yuengling is overrated. There, I’ve said it. Now 86 me if you must.
Kevindust – Bon
Sorry Kevindust, I was about to attempt something rude in French, but fate intervened and I accidentally clicked “submit”. Must be telling me to shut up.
@ WB in OH – I’d say roadtrip but it takes too long to go anywhere in Ohio unless you are in Cinncinati.
Playing now on the iPod – “Sweetest Pain” – Loose Ends
Brynhildr- I would probably agree with you if I were able to get it on a daily basis. But when you only get once or twice a year it seems special. Yuengling that is.
WB – I guess then you just have to look forward to birthdays and anniversaries… for Yuengling, that is.
Cincinnati rocks! A lot of late teens/early 20s road trip memories from there. And awesome chili, different, but awesome. Can we still bring up chili here?
Did you know- the Bic lighter was introduced in 1973?
On IPOD right now- “Sky Pilot”- the Animals
Shiny- you got that right.
Brynhildr-I’m speechless and LMAO
AWG- Skyline or Goldstar?
I must be off! Hopefully an update when I return!
@ AngryWhiteGuy – Attended some of the best concerts there. Riverfront Stadium had the best acoustics for rock bands. I saw Peter Frampton in 70′s there and still feel he should taken the recording there instead of Plattsburgh Field House.
Playing now on the iPod – “A Prayer for Peace” – neal Schon
Jimi set his guitar on fire with liglhter fluid. Fine reason to enjoy his revolutionary work.
The question is ONLY PARTLY “how does Jimi sound 40 years later?” The LARGER QUESTION is: “what was music like before Jimi vs after Jimi. I was there for both, and saw Jimi in concert (from about 60 feet away) at the Seattle Center.
It’s really easy for people who don’t understand how the sausage is made to rock out on their solid state hand held devices without thinking what went in.
When Jimi (and Janis and bzimmerman and the early recordings of those moptops from across the pond) were playing and recording, there was very little overdubbing, most recordings were done live, simultaneously, with only levels adjusted in editing, and the notion of “post production” was, at most, nascent (yeah, Les Paul invented it a few years earlier, but rock recording didn’t use it and it was all implemented in hardwdare…If you couldn’t produce it live, you didn’t use it).
But as to Jimi…Before the Band of Gypsies, he played with Mitch Mitchell on drums and Noel Redding on bass. That’s it. Jimi played rhythm, melody and flourish all at the same time (and, by the way, sang lead whilst he was at it). So fuck “All Along the Watchtower” (which he did better than Dylan). He wrote, sang, and played three or four parts, none of them overdubbed, on “The Wind Cries Mary”, “Are You Experienced?”, “Purple Haze”, “Foxey Lady”, “Manic Depression”, “If 6 was 9″, “Castles Made of Sand”, “Crosstown Traffic”, and dozens of others, and played and sang the best “Hey Joe” in the business.
No software, no studio post-production magic, no bullshit. I saw him do all of these; I never saw fingers move faster…I never saw more feeling put into a vocal (except Janis)…I never saw a better, more inspired guitar player.
He was classy, a consumate performer, and an inspired genius. As it happens, there are several musicians I prefer, but I like Jimi, and an ignorance of history will only lead to a greater ignorance of the present, so I had to speak.
And, yes, he did set his guitar on fire in Seattle and it was cool. The crowd kept the fire marshalls from approaching the stage to hose the instrument down. Those were the days.
jtb
Shiny Rod — Beginning to see some cracks in our, um, “relationship”. I’m going to have to say no to jazz and most R&B because, quite frankly, they sound like the modern art version of dying warblers. Oh, and Jimi…overrated as well.
Saw Led Zep back in the day and it was a disappointment. Why you say? Because they couldn’t do all the overdubbing at a live show. They may be one of the top 5 all time rock bands but only in the studio. In my humble opinion.
@ Brynhildr – Don’t throw out the baby for a little dirt in the water. I have a very diversed repertoire of music listening and try not to be biased by one form or another but that’s what headphones are for. I would no more subject you to anything you were not willing to venture or accept. As a matter of fact, I prefer classical music as a pure form overall because I see the roots of all music in classical. Lets say when I vision you, the music of Sheherazade comes to my mind. A beautiful story of love and a strong performence piece. And yes Jimi is overated and arrogantly bombastic. I have to agree that a lot of so called r&b sounds like dying warblers to me too. Thats why I don’t harp on anything anyone has performed as being monumental.
Shiny Rod — I’m onto you now.
I used to date man that said he would know he was with the right woman if she said certain magic words. Never knew what those were, but I suspected they had something to do with either Bruce Springsteen or Van Morrison. Apparently, I never came up with those pre-determined words that would ensure we would remain together forever (sigh) because he dumped me after 2 years. Though I do like Van Morrison, I grew increasingly disenchanted with Springsteen after that. (Not that I was ever that big of a fan — merely tolerated the heavy rotation. Another overrated musician. I think I develop my opinions just to go against the grain. Dunno.)
Shiny Rod — Vor ein paar Jahren, eine Freundin hat mir das Buch “Märchen aus 1001 Nacht” (auf Deutsch natürlich) geschenkt. Sollen wir zusammen lesen?
@ Brynhildr – His loss, my gain, maybe! Morrison, both Van and Jim are vocal virtuosos. Brown-eye girl and Moondance being on the list of my favorites. It’s tragic that some muscians have to fall into that alcohol/drug enduced pit to be considered great. Some crawl out and other I wish didn’t. I was never big on Bruce, a good showman but I just couldn’t “feel” his music. All that sweating and heavy breathing I reserve for another function. BTW, I like going against the grain to, I hate conformity.
@ Brynhildr – Ich denke, ich würde genießen, dass enorm. Ich möchte eine Kopie erhalten aus der Bibliothek.
@ Lee Harvey Ramone – OK, I will re-listen to Beggar’s Banquet. It was albums like Get Yer YaYa’s Out the put me off Stones albums.
And, while we are here, Keith Richard’s solo album “Talk is Cheap” is brilliant.
Also, I forgot about Some Girls. The entire album is excellent. The version that I bought had a slide out sleeve so that the faces changed on the cover. Keith was at his drugged out prime – witness “Before They Make Me Run”.