Bouncing From Subject to Subject
I’m not sure if anyone’s noticed, but I’ve been trying to keep the updates a little more focused than they used to be. More one-topic posts, and less bouncing from subject to subject…
Occasionally, however, it will be necessary to revert to the old epilepsy under a strobe light style of the past. And today is one of those days. My notebook runneth over with bite-sized crapola.
Does everyone have their t-shirts now? At this point they should all be delivered, even the ones going to Europe, etc. So, if you ordered one and don’t have it, let me know. And please God, don’t let there be any issues. I don’t think my picture window ulcer can take it.
There are only a few shirts remaining. Here are the current counts. I’m not going to buy more, anytime soon. So, if you want one, right now would be a good time to order. Right forkin’ now.
I posted something new at Suggestaholic yesterday, and here’s the link. Going forward, there will be at least one new update every week at that site. So, if you’re interested in the subjects I cover there (music, books, movies, beer) please subscribe to the feed, and/or bookmark the site.
I’d be much obliged.
A few days ago the older Secret was telling me about something that happened in one of his death and dismemberment PlayStation games. Medal of Honor? Is that right? I have some difficulty with the details…
Anyway, he said he shot someone as they peeked around a corner, and as the dude pulled back a mist of blood was all that could be seen near the wall.
“There’s your band name!” I told him.
“Wha’?” he said.
“Mist of Blood! What a great band name!!”
And now he’s fixated on it. He wants to start a band, and call it Mist of Blood. And Toney isn’t real thrilled with my input on the subject.
Do you do that? Do you hear little phrases in your everyday life, and think, “What a great name for a band!” It happens to me at least once a week. I need to start writing them down.
Not that I’ll ever start a band, mind you. The only musical instrument I can play is my car stereo, and I’m not exactly a virtuoso with that.
A few months ago, as you might remember, Steve and I traveled to Philadelphia to see Paul Weller perform. He’s a Springsteen-caliber star in Europe, and almost completely unknown in America. Don’t believe me? Well, check out the treatment he receives from the tabloids in England. That’s something reserved for A-listers only, my friends.
And speaking of music and bad behavior, here’s some sad news for ya…
Over the past few weeks I’ve taken advantage of some really great one-day sales at Amazon’s mp3 store. They sell seemingly random albums for next to nothing for a few hours, then quickly raise the price back up to its normal level.
As you might imagine, this is causing me to become semi-obsessed… I’ve been checking the site several times every day.
But now I’ve found a better way. Amazon has set up a Twitter page, where all their quickie sales are listed. Right here. So, no more rooting around the website, believing I somehow missed the Best Deal Ever.
Yes, these kinds of things improve the quality of the OCD life.
And speaking of Amazon, I really hate when customers start their reviews with, “Well, what can I say?” For some reason that causes me to grind my molars, and make gurgling noises deep in my throat. Same goes for this ending: “‘Nuff said!”
Every person who’s ever left such a review, anywhere on the Amazon site, can kiss it. Both east and west of the great divide. …I’m sorry, I’m getting a little worked up.
I was digging through my closet a couple weeks ago, and found a pair of red sweatpants. They’re the old 1980s-style, with elastic at the bottom of each leg.
Huh, I thought, those look kinda comfy. They’re in really good shape too, possibly never used. So I threw them in the washer, then started wearing ‘em.
And they make Toney crazy. Clearly, she hates them. Every time I walk into the room wearing my new (but old) sweatpants, she sighs and shakes her head.
I finally asked her what was bothering her about them, and she said adult men should never wear clothes with elastic at the bottom. That goes for both shirts and pants.
I’d never thought about it. Is that true? What do you think?
Regardless, I plan to continue rocking them. They’re very comfortable, and what do I care if they’re gathered at the bottom, and are a throwback to the Footloose era? I don’t take fashion into consideration when preparing for a good couch wallow. Ya know?
I recently linked to a movie site Brad told me about. They offer vintage and downloadable drive-in movies, including an interesting one called Lunch Meat. Eventually I’d like to watch a few of ‘em. You know, in my spare time.
But it leads me to the Question of the Day… There were a few highly questionable movies I saw, back during my high school days, which I’m hoping will eventually be featured at the site.
One was advertised under the phrase, “R has never gone this far!” And another was a softcore porn version of Pinocchio, with the tagline, “It’s not his nose that grows!”
So, that’s the question. What’s your favorite tagline for a movie? Not necessarily the sleazy stuff I’m talking about, any movie. Are there any that are especially memorable? Which ones have stuck with you through the years?
Please tell us about it in the comments.
And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.
Filed under: Daily
I’m trying to fold a slice of cheese into a paper airplane.
Second. And I think “Bllod Mist” sounds a little better.
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…….
“220, 221, whatever it takes”.
“Excuse me miss? What’s the soup du jour?”
“It’s the soup of the day.”
“Oh, that sounds nice. I’ll have that.”
5!! 3 if you don’t count dupes!!
If the car stereo is an instrument, wouldn’t the iPod be an instrument?
I am going to take a bath. “I’ll alert the media”….
I had a similar band naming experience a few years ago. I’d misheard someone and it sounded like they’d said “Chrome Buzzards”. And I was fixated on it. I was determined to start a band named the “Chrome Buzzards” even though I also can’t play a musical instrument or sing, nor can anyone I know. I stayed obsessed with it for a couple of years and then dropped it. But now that I think about it, maybe the “Chrome Buzzards” deserve another chance.
Well, what can I say? The best movie tagline ever was “In space no one can hear you scream.” from Alien (1979). ‘Nuff said!
Ocho!!
no one should wear pants with elastic on the bottom. ever.
oh shite!! Taglines for movies, not quotes from movies! Gawd, I’m so stupid!(repeatedly striking self on head)…
I totally messed that one up…
But….
I DID order the very last Large T-shirt available, yeah me.
I’ll stop procratinating tomorrow…..
Just checking in.
I’m always hearing what I think is a good name for a blog. I have several in reserve for when I get tired of my current one.
Oh, and why couldn’t you just cut the elastic in the pants if Toney objects to it.
Be careful if you like the sweat pants too much, you may end up gettin’ laundry sabotaged. How did that Bleach get in there.
I don’t consider sweat pants/shirts or even track suits to be “real” clothing. But, they are completely acceptable if worn ONLY at home. My son has a pair of sweatpants he loves. But, if we’re leaving the house, I make him change into jeans. LOL. So, if all you’re doing in the sweatpants is the couch wallow, go ahead and enjoy them.
One of my personal Faves “Frankenhooker” – A terrifying tale of nuts & bolts -or- It’s A Stitch!
grrr
make that
“Frankenhooker” – A terrifying tale of Sluts & bolts
“It’s a Three-Stooge riot on a three-stage rocket.”
Jeff,
Get Toney really upset and bring out that special pair of Zubaz.
“Worst wreck I ever seen!!” – Large Marge
There is a tremendous list of possible band names going in my head at all times, so you are not the only one who does this.
Not sure if that makes you feel better or worse.
Mist of Blood is without a doubt a kickass band name.
I was once planning to start a band called “Hey Mom, Can I Borrow 5 Bucks to go to Circle K”. It’s a long story. Seemed like a good idea at the time. We had to nix it though… copyright issues. I was going to play the spoons.
tagline:
“Herbert West Has A Very Good Head On His Shoulders… And Another One In A Dish On His Desk” –Re-Animator
Ever stop to consider that the epileptic updates is what brought us all here in the first place?
I pictured the Pyjama Don when you brought up the elastic pants… Heh..
You can never go fast enough.
I emailed that guy once to ask about him some TV movies – I never heard back from him. It is amazing to me that he even has some made for TV movies on his site.
Oddly enough – I just heard something yesterday and thought it would be a good band name – The Town Monsters.
My mother in law should wear pants with elastic cuffs to keep the turds off of the carpet.
“Donner Party” sounds like a good name for a band.
No person should have elastic in any article of clothing (over the age of 3) other than the waistband on their undershorts, and that’s stretching it.
~Alex
“The Epileptic Updates” – good name for a band
“Yarp” from Hot Fuzz
“So I tell the swamp donkey to sock it before I give her a trunky in the tradesman’s entrance and have her lick me yarbles!” from EuroTrip
Our 80′s band was “SMOKE DEPOT”. We played at the Capitol once and in typical WV style the WQBE DJ announced us as “SMOKE de POT”.
I guess that was OK as we had just done so back stage.
“Elastic turdcatchers” – that is a great name for a band
Movie taglines: “”Back when you had to beat it before you could eat it…” from The Caveman
or “Melvin was a 90 lb. weakling until nuclear waste transformed him into…” The Toxic Avenger
I live for the elastic at the bottom of my sweats.
It is however getting harder and harder to find
as sweatpants are being made more and more
without them. So when i find them i stock up.
And I wear my sweats out in public, I’m all
about comfort over giving a shit what people
think about me doing so.
Your movie “Lunch Meat” is a good band name but my personal favorite is “Cockeyed Insertion” There is a syndicated morning radio show called “Todd & Tyler” that do a great band names bit nearly everyday.
I wish they made sweats that had elastic bottoms and matching short sleeve tops with elastic sleeves. I’d buy those in a skinny minute.
browsing though those movie selections – the best tagline i found was
“first they greet you, then they eat you!”
Mist of Blood is a great band name…I envision them as being on the heavy side of rock…more Zep/Sabbath than Clash/REM…
I once had to make an album cover as a project in (grade school) music class. I ended up creating a band, it’s members and an entire catalog of albums, song titles and artwork…
Something to consider: your secrets could one day revere Death Magnetic and Chinese Democracy in the same way that some of us remember Master of Puppets and Appetite for Destruction…
I’m surprised the elastic in the sweatpants is still “elastic”.
I regularly have to replace bike shorts and sweat pants because of “elastic fatigue”.
Ms. Carla called it: there is a threat of a bleach “accident” in your future.
Holy shit! Further Evidence was disturbing! Not as disturbing as this Mr. Rodgers though:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZ3yZjb_O-M&feature=related
Oh and band names?
Stalking Britney
Stabbing George Harrison
Mustard Gas
Bleach “accident”, cool.
Now you have reason to tie dye them.
Make ‘em SUPER-tacky.
I took a scissors to the elastic
on an old pair of sweat pants and
they were great.
I suggest band names to my 16 year old guitar playing son son all the time – most he does not get but I think are great.
Fast Food Nuns (after being asked by 2 sisters in Quebec City where the nearest McDonald’s was)
Ambling Sewage (too hard to explain)
Jamie Lynn’s Baby
I nominate “Elastic Fatigue” and “Bleach Accident” as band names.
There is a web site about hunting ground squrrels called ” seekers of the red mist”. Very high velocity bullets passing through. I always thought it a rather weird but strangely cool.
The Generous Shafts would be a good name for a band.
Well, what can I say?….. nuff said……
Hee Hee Hee
I don’t think men should wear pants.
My 13 & 14 year-old daughters have been dreaming of starting a band for about 5 years now. Both are musical and seem to have talent. The name they’ve concocted is The Green Jacks. Don’t ask me what that means … but they cannot be swayed from it. 10 years from now, remember you heard it here first!
When I think Sweat Pants, I think elastic at the bottom of the legs ( I’m actually wearing mine right now ) – - otherwise we’re talking about track pants.
Favorite taglines – I pick 2 –
Duece Bigelow, Male Gigolo, ” He charges $10, but he’s willing to negotiate “.
The original Dawn Of The Dead, “When there’s no more room in Hell, the dead will walk the Earth”
This one stuck with me. Probably why I don’t go into the woods.
” I bet you can squeal like a pig. Weeeeeeee! “
Yet another more tasty line:
“There’s a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you. I been sayin’ that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before you popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin’ made me think twice. Now I’m thinkin’: it could mean you’re the evil man. And I’m the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he’s the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you’re the righteous man and I’m the shepherd and it’s the world that’s evil and selfish. I’d like that. But that shit ain’t the truth. The truth is you’re the weak. And I’m the tyranny of evil men. But I’m tryin’, Ringo. I’m tryin’ real hard to be a shepherd. “
@Tammie – That’s just not fair, and what item of clothing will women give up?
I don’t think women should wear hats.
Yep…
Hats.
>The best movie tagline ever was “In space no one can hear you scream.” from Alien (1979).
Yes, and Alien had space sound effects and all manner of explosions and noise. So, too, have nearly all space operas, from the Star Wars films to Galactica.
This tag line should be stuck on the movie where it fits–2001: A Space Odyssey.
Hey Jeff, how bout “The Translucent Scrotums”, now thats got a lot of catchy edge and it sounds better that “Green Day” or “Ben Folds Five”.
C’mon Tammie, and maybe I’ll share a shot of me in a Kilt.
Ok Shiny Rod. I will concede. Kilts will be allowed. I just got a visual of Mr.Man in one. That will work for me.
Elastic at the ankles or not, I just don’t want to see a grown man wearing RED pants.
‘Nuff said….
JCIII, I just want to thank you for going public with having “220, 221, whatever it takes” stuck in your memory into the present day. For some reason, not a month has gone by in the last 20-odd years that I have not reflexively uttered that phrase, or adapted it to another number.
As far as violently contagious quotes from otherwise disposable movies, for me it’s right up there with “I’m following his leader!”
And if anyone else is afflicted with that one, let’s start a club.
If you fart in your red pants do your ankles swell?
“You’re gonna do some praying boy and you better pray good”.
Well, what can I say?
Mist of blood is AWESOME!
JCIII
.38, .39, whatever it takes.
Mist of Blood sounds a lot like Lamb of God, a death metal band popular amongst certain elements.
My favorites for a band are
Spaz and the Seizures
Spaz and the Retards
The Bastards (which is the name of a real band here)
I played in a one-gig band we assembled for a party, we called ourselves Franky and the Wankers
In college in the earkly 80s I went to a Halloween Party which had 4 guys dressed in white playing punk (including white hats), and they called themselves Toxic Shock Syndrome. This was at the same time that women were dying of the same from contaminated tampons. A real hoot when you are 20 years old.
> Do you do that? Do you hear little phrases in your
> everyday life, and think, “What a great name for a band!”
Constantly. And I await my day in the sun. At 140 characters, twitter still is too long-form for me. But the progression of killer apps is getting closer and closer to my three-word specialty. Soon the brilliance of my brevity will bring me fame and fortune.