A Mess of Leftovers for Dinner
The Big Notebook of Fun is picked clean, my friends. All that’s left, at this point, is a collection of questionable random items. So, that’s what I’ll be serving today: leftovers for dinner. Disappointing, I know. But sometimes it turns out to be the best of meals. I’m making no promises, of course, but that’s the way it goes sometimes.
When I’m at work my cell phone gets no reception whatsoever. As soon as I pass through the front doors I might as well be holding a deck of cards to my head. So I just leave it in my jacket pocket.
And it’s a funny thing… When I leave, at 1:30 am, that thing is often shockingly hot, with the battery run down. A few days ago it was completely dead, and I felt naked driving home without a functioning phone.
It’s not the battery; the thing holds a charge like a champion. And it’s not the phone; my old one behaved the exact same way.
What the hell? Any ideas why this might be happening? Is it searching and searching and searching for a network? Is that the problem? Or does it have something to do with the Russians and the Red Chinese? Any input would be appreciated, because I’m leaning toward international espionage and various conspiracy theories, at the moment.
I was in the hipster record store a few days ago, and bought the new Ryan Adams CD. While paying, I noticed a counter display filled with the new AC/DC. Since it’s supposed to be a Wal-Mart exclusive, I asked the guy how they managed to get their hands on it.
And it was another of those Sunshine moments. The guy was a complete dick, and gave me a sarcastic, dismissive answer. You know, like it’s 1979 and their business model still makes sense…
Pissed me off. I was just making conversation, and was completely friendly about the whole thing. Why the attitude? If he didn’t want to tell me, he could’ve just said something like, “That’s top secret. They’d kill me if I told.”
Yeah, I have a suspicion I’ll feel a little less guilty next time I shop at Best Buy, to save three bucks.
When did the entire population of Earth go asshole?
Speaking of music, I’ve been plugging holes in my CD collection. Today I ordered Sweets From A Stranger by Squeeze, for $3.50. And a couple days ago I picked up a used copy of Thin Lizzy’s Johnny the Fox, for four bucks.
Since I’m using The Big iPod as a giant jukebox, I can’t stand having incomplete representations of important artists. Know what I mean?
But I’m often only interested in a certain era, instead of the full-blown history of a band. Like with Squeeze, I only care about the early albums, before they broke up and started talking shit about each other. The albums that came later, after the money ran out, will not have a spot on the (obscure iCarly reference alert!) PearPod.
So, you see, my mental illness isn’t quite as bad as it might originally seem.
The iPod… Is it the greatest gadget of the recent past? It’s gotta be way up there, right? It, and the DVR. Those two things have genuinely improved my life. What else, besides computers and cell phones (they don’t count, because I say so), would you add to the list? What gadget or invention of the recent past has made your life better?
How about the Roomba? Have any of you ever used one? I like the concept, but I’ve never actually seen one with my own eyes. Are they any good? And when are they going to release one that mows the lawn?
Also, the Kindle… Anyone have any experience with one of those deals? I’m intrigued, I must admit. And once that happens, there can only be but one outcome.
The older Secret keeps roping me into watching extended clips of Dane Cook performing stand-up, on YouTube. And here’s some video footage of me watching said video footage. Wow!
Have you ever known a person who has an interest in something, but is self-conscious about it? So they feel the need to hit you with a lot of pre-scripted justifications, and trivia designed to impress?
In Atlanta I worked with a couple of brothers (actual brothers, not bruthas) who were NASCAR fanatics. They’d get really passionate about it, which made people want to mess with them. I remember one guy saying, “What’s so hard about riding in a car? I do it every day.” He was just trying to piss them off, and it always worked.
It led to all sorts of red-faced stats, like, “It’s not unusual for a driver to lose forty pounds during the course of a race!” and things along those lines. It’s a little more than just riding in a car, they’d insist. Riding, heh.
I also knew a guy who was obsessed with bowling. And whenever someone made a snarky comment about it, or insisted it wasn’t a real sport, he’d bust out with, “Bowling three games with a fifteen-pound ball is the equivalent of lifting a Winnebago off a deaf baby,” or whatever.
Man, I love that kind of thing… I might start keeping a list.
Last night at work I consumed a sack of these things. Yeah, they were OK, I guess.
And check this out. Some great stuff there, including this one.
This site, dedicated to G.C. Murphy memories, linked to my recent Murphy’s Mart post. Pretty cool, and I appreciate them calling me a humorist instead of a blogger…
But how did they know our reign of terror took place at the Dunbar store?? I never mentioned the exact location in the update, and am a bit freaked-out right now. Do you think this might be linked to my phone being hot every night when I get off work?! Shit!
And speaking of paranoia, my friend Tim is fixated on Richard Nixon. I think he’s read every book ever written about the man, and there have been a lot of them.
In today’s mail there was a package from Tim that contained a CD filled (filled!) with old Spiro Agnew speeches, in which he supposedly rips “the hippies” a new one.
Do I get the coolest mail, or what?
Also included was this message from Spiro himself. Man, he seems fired-up. Wonder who he’s talking about?
Thanks to everyone who pre-ordered the new Surf Report t-shirts already. I really appreciate it. And if you haven’t, what are you waiting for? Here’s your link.
There have been a few questions, and I’ll try to answer them now…
The design will be on the FRONT of the shirt.
It will be professionally silk screened, not ironed-on like Jimmy Carter is president.
If you’re outside the U.S. or Canada, I’m gonna have to charge more. Sorry about that, but the post office bends me over the proverbial couch when I say “Romania,” or whatever. I’ll add a new INTERNATIONAL price point tonight.
And I asked for a quote from the T-Shirt lady for long sleeve shirts, and they’re expensive. I have a feeling, and I could be wrong, more folks would be unhappy with such a scenario, than would be happy. I might do a limited run at a later date, if there’s real demand. Let me know what you think.
Anything else? Ask away in the comments, and I’ll do my best to provide a speedy answer. Ahem.
And finally, I have a fresh question from the Stealing Clive Bull‘s Topics desk. Clive and I would like to know what’s the longest stretch you’ve ever stayed awake, and why.
I don’t have much to offer on this one, I’m afraid.
I do remember my friend Mike spending the night when we were kids, and staying up all night playing poker and watching horror movies. The following day I felt fine, until we went bowling in the early afternoon. Suddenly I was having some sort of freaky out-of-body experience; I think I was on the verge of full-blown hallucinations.
What about you? Have you ever been in a situation where you were forced to stay awake for days on end? Tell us about it in the comments.
And I’ll see you guys on Monday.
Have a great weekend!
Filed under: Daily
Maybe?? Top ten atleast.
First !?!
First! Wow!!!
2nd!
Thanks for the Nixon visual, Jeff (btw). It caused an involuntary whole-body shiver……
No Way!
Okay- Now I am wondering what is considered expensive for this long sleeve shirt… $25? $30? More???
I’d go $30, I mean really, it would be a limited edition- even a collectable- I could probably insure it under my homeowners!
It isn’t just the DVR, Jeff. It’s the little button on the remote that jumps ahead 30 seconds during playback, allowing us to just punch the button 6 times to skip over the usual 3 minutes of commercials within shows.
56 hours straight in my first year of college. I didn’t have to – I made myself do it (with a lot of help from some “magic beans”). All I was trying to do was ace my finals in the first quarter of school. And I did.
Then I slept for 27 hours straight.
Oh – and here’s two votes for long-sleeves!!!!
And hey – do I get any awards for not only being IN the top 10, but HALF the top 10?!
Jeff – I think you are correct in assuming that your phone uses more power when it is looking for a signal or if you have a weaker signal. My battery doesn’t last near as long in those situations.
Also, check out the Sling Box (www.slingmedia.com) – that gets my vote for the coolest invention ever and for someone like you that works odd hours, could be quite handy (but your productivity level will drop to zero).
Another vote for long sleeves.
I think I read somewhere that AC/DC approved letting indie stores sell the vinyl – but not the cds. I would not buy it – but over 1 million people have.
There is a photo of the Morgantown GCM store up at that site.
Wow, Top 20
if your cell phone is left turned on in an area where you don’t get service, your phone will constantly search for one using your battery up very quickly. Turn it off at work and back on after you leave.
Jeff, I recommend turning your phone off while you are at work. Repeated heating/cooling cycles will eventually loosen something up inside the phone.
I don’t usually comment but have to cast a vote for long sleeves. I’ll buy both types, swear.
The Bunker came has got me pegged when I was a kid.
That was a pretty darn good mess of leftovers. Thanksgiving-esque even.
As an “industry insider” I can confirm that the issue with the phone is signal. Think of it as a tiny, plastic, lithium ion powered baby bird. When the mommy bird (the network) is nearby baby can check in with just a quiet little peep. But when mommy is away baby has to yell louder. Some providers have solutions to bring coverage into a building on various scales. Costs vary, check with your local corporate representative. Whatever you do stay out of the stores. They’re idiots.
And when mommy ends up as a meal for the neighbor’s cat baby just burns itself out crying. Kind of a sad metaphor isn’t it?
As far as the kindle goes, I can tell you a little about the technology there. It’s really basically a cell phone that you can read books on. Because of the network and the underlying technology you’ll get your books in just about any civilized place in the US and you’ll get them quickly. I do know a guy who has one and he liked it so much he wanted to buy stock. And this is a guy who really doesn’t like much. Most of the time when I go into meetings with him he just lays it out and doesn’t pull punches. So I trust his opinion.
Life improving technology? Does HD count? I loves me some HD TV.
As far as stretches of not sleeping, about 30 hours. It happened one when my Mom was ill and needed to be transported to a hospital 3 hours away in the middle of the night. I followed the ambulance, saw her settled in and went to work. I left after lunch and was about as good on the road as anyone who’d had oh, say 4 martinis would have been. I remember driving through a red light because I just didn’t notice it.
Another time was when my wife needed an appendectomy a week after we found out she was pregnant. She went to the after hours clinic after work. They sent her to the main hospital where we waited for tests and whatnot. She went into surgery about 24 hours after my last wake up. I went home after them moved her out of recovery and crashed hard.
And most recently was at the birth of The Peanut. I got the call to come home at about 11 AM, 13 hours later The Peanut had arrived and about 6 hours later we (me really) finally got to sleep.
Stayed up 40 straight hours during that senior overnight trip to Kings Island and Reds game. And I played an entire high school baseball game before we even got on the bus to go to Cincy, plus drank mass quantities of alcohol. Can’t do that booooolshit anymore.
Um .. yeah – stop letting your phone go thru that whole cycle or you’ll be buying yourself a new battery pretty soon. The phone is doing it’s damnedest to find a signal and keeps eating up all the juice. Is your employer blocking the signal?
Roombas are cool – I have two of them since I’m lazy and hate to push around a vacuum myself.
Used to be in the Army – they used to make you pull all night duty then work the next day. Much fun, I must say. Of course, that was before the pussification that happenened during the Clinton years and they stopped that nonsense.
Jeff, I’m pretty sure they make the lawn mowing equivalent of the Roomba. Maybe I saw it in the Sky Mall catalog? Dunno. I’ve seen it though. Wait, I just got unlazy enough to find it. Here you go: http://www.friendlyrobotics.com/
I’ve had a Kindle for a few months and I like it a lot. I was luke warm at first but the thing really grows on you. You can tell it’s version 1.0 because the user interface is a little kluncky. But you can’t beat being able to type in the name of book and a couple of minutes later your’re reading the first chapter for free. Another click and the whole book is yours for less money than you’d spend at the bookstore.
I wanna kindle, sooo bad, even if Oprah endorsed it. haven’t made the jump to DVR yet, I’m too cheap. Probably after I get the 52″ HD TV we will.
Roomba’s are stupid. The Ma has one and its always stuck under the couch?
Dan the “lawn mowing equivalent of the Roomba” scares the crap outta me, we all need a lawn mower shooting around the yard all crazy like the electronics and motors and cars on “Maxium Overdrive” Shudder…
37 Hours is my max and I was worthless for the last 15 of it. I was a zombie.
Jeff, just how expensive are the long sleeved shirts?? You are debuting a new design right before winter pounds us into despair, so long sleeves would be really nice.
and finally, I agree that your phone is “roaming” itself dead looking for the network. Not good for your battery life expectency at all. Put it into flight mode if you don’t want to turn it off, Flight mode gives you all of your features, it just does’t search for the network or allow you to connect to the internet / text, etc.
I have the sony Walkman W580i phone and I put mine into flight mode and just use it as an MP3 player.
Just a thought.
Old logo coffee mug, please.
Technology: I gotta go MP3 players. For $125 I can have 100′s of songs, photos, and a few movies at my disposal. Makes visits to the in-laws far better.
Staying Awake: My record is 72 hours. Back when I was young and stupid (er) I joined the Army Reserves (yes, Canada does have an Army) and as part of our field training at the time we were sent on a one week exercise where we were denied sleep for 3 straight days. If you were caught sleeping you failed the course and had to go through GMT Basic again. They kept us busy for those three days: running here, crawling there, pretending to kill people, etc., so I don’t remember it as being too bad.
NASCAR:
What has 6 teeth and an IQ of 80? The first 10 rows at a NASCAR race..
Bowling:
Bowling’s not a sport, it a way to hide a drinking problem (the same applies to fishing).
Good Evening Surf Reporters…………
only comment I have is on the photo of Richard Nixon bowling:
“Foot Foul”
… so his toe slipped over the line a little, big deal
….mark it ZERO!!
….You think I’m fucking around here? Mark it zero!
….All right, it’s fucking zero. Are you happy, you crazy fuck?
I’ve had similar experiences with idie record stores – wanting to support them and all, but I can’t see paying $17.99 for a CD that is easily available elsewhere for much less. How can they expect to move product with those prices? Maybe the AC/DC CD’s were just bought from Walmart and marked up $3.00.
THANK YOU!
Finally I have found the long lost extended version (CD version) of the WKRP theme. It is a very long story why I have been looking for this song.It’s a long story. Too long to tell here.
But I can tell you it was full of excitement and danger, and afterward I never made fun of that poodle again.
Well, I suppose I can at least try to tell the story. I’m still not sure I believe it myself, so many strange and fantastic things happened. Briefly what happened, though, is this: I was walking across a vacant lot near my house when I heard a noise. I turned.
You know what? This story is just too hard to try to tell here. Just believe it when I say that the poodle came out of nowhere to attack a cobra.
Where did the cobra come from? Okay, I guess I can at least tell that part.
No, I’m going to change my mind again. It’s just too hard to explain–although if I did explain it, you would be glued to the edge of your seat.
Maybe someday I’ll tell the story of the poodle and the cobra. No, I won’t. It’s a good one though.
By the way, has anyone noticed that the chorus of the Bob Marley song Buffalo Soldier (Wo yo yo, wo yo yo yo…) is exactly the same as the Banana Splits Theme song?
I’m with jeff in Denver old logo coffee mug please!
do the ‘robomowers’ have a built in anti-theft device?
I’d like to think that if they were threatened by someone other than their ‘master’, then they could ‘pop a wheelie’ and ‘bare their blades’.
WHIRRRRR!!!
i,lawnmower.
Well, a few thoughts at least. I’d definitely be down for a long sleeve WVSR T-shirt to match my short sleeve one, and my longest stretch of wakefulness happened freshman year of college before finals…52 hours of being awake, cramming for finals and slamming down mass amounts of caffeine. A good 24 hour nap afterward put me back in the game. As for the robomowers, I’d definitely love to have a herd of them for the back 40, but what about a robosnowblower? Or a dog crap pickup robot? Oh, the robotic possibilities.
JCIII…..excellent Lebowski reference….what a crazy fuck that Walter and ET for years I’ve been saying that Marley must have been rocking the ganja and watching some Banana Splits when he came up with the Buffalo Soldier chorus….good minds think alike
The Banana Splits Theme song…….someone just woke up little Jason.
This website would be a lot more awesome if laser beams were mentioned now and then.
No, Jeff – The hipster record store clerk was just 100% pure asshole. I spent a decade working in record stores and hung out with LOTS of record store clerks and believe me, there is NO job classification that has a higher percentage of blatant asswipes. I was lucky to work with some of the 20% of the clerks who actually weren’t assholes. IMO there’s nothing worse than walking into a record shop and getting attitude from some socially backward zitface with his nose in the air. I never understood the attitude. Here’s some middle-aged dimwit still making about 20 cents above minimum wage and he’s pulling an attitude because he knows who produced the 2nd Jad Fair solo LP. Big fuckin’ deal. John Cocksuck, I mean, Cusack, in the movie Hi Fidelity nailed that type of asshole almost perfectly.
Once drove from New Mexico to WV in 31 hours, only stopping 5 times – three times to piss, once to eat, and once to sleep at a roadside park for two hours in Arkansas when it got so foggy I couldn’t make out the tailights of the semi I was following anymore. I drank Mountain Dew by the quarts and ate No-Doz like they were M&Ms. By the time I rolled into Charleston I was pretty much hallucinating, and when I was approaching the Bridge on I-64 a semi started to unravel a tire at about 65mph, sending gigantic 30 pound chunks of black rubber at my windshield. I thought I was just imagining it until one hit right in front of my face and woke me up for good. I finally reached my Mom’s house and slept for something like 18 hours solid. Took me a week to get right again.
Roomba & Scooba we have both.
Pros I don’t have to push the vacuum around [wow does that sound lazy] Revised: I can run the vacuum while I am at work. Or anywhere else.
Cons: very small dirt cup so if you have pets you will have to empty them often. They can get stuck and spend their entire charge cleaning behind a chair. They can eat cords, fringe and other things you take for granted. The “electronic wall” can be iffy so we end up erecting weird little 4 inch barriers all around the house. The scooba needs special cleaning fluid that costs $8.00 for about 16 ounces and is only available by mail.
No sleep record about 62 hours … involved working, drinking, a feud ,more work, more feud and a drive from Myrtle beach to Philly with a stop at South Of the Border for breakfast at 4:30 am
Thanx for the tv theme music link, great ringtone possibilities there!
Also, I agree with you about Squeeze. After Argybargy they became Robert Palmer and started to write sappy horseshit. It broke my heart because I loved those first 3 LPs and the early singles so much.
Same thing happened with The Tubes. 4 really incredible, inventive, mindblowing LPs and then a long series of embarassing overproduced pop flops. I understand thet they hadda eat (and the success of the singles from “The Completion Backward theory” bought a LOT of cheeseburgers), but they sold their very souls.
Whenever I’m on the wvsr site, McAfee keeps popping up this issue. What’s the deal?
Look up a site report: Go McAfee Home
Contact us Site Owner Info
Terms of service
Privacy policy
Home Download Analysis Support Blog About us ad2.adecn.com/here.spot?v=2.2;time=420;spotId=1809
4;c=0;ms=1226628323125 may cause a breach of browser security.
greatest gadget – The Fleshlight
Longest I stayed awake? – night the fleshlight was delivered.
laser beams.
(just doing my part)
Jeff,
I see your pear-pod and raise you a suckish.
i still want long sleeves!
The woman who gives swimming lessons at our health club has a kindle and she downloads all the books she wants to read for about $8 each, she said. She loves hers. At $350, I’m not going to buy one, but it looks like a good idea.
I think the bit of new technology I was most excited about was Front end card readers on desktops.
No more looking for the right cord to upload pictures
(A sure sobriety test)
I have to also agree with the ipod with video capabilities.
Watching tech shows in “the library” for the 1st time
swiveled my giggle
I like short sleeves.
Here in S GA it is very rare
that at the end of the day
I am in sleeves
(pre-ordered btw)
TO EVIL TWIN:
That logo ROCKS!
(so..very..proud…)
72 hours awake and drunk for most of it!
yes to longsleeves,I ordered a short sleeve2x
Good Morning Surf Reporters……….
I’m kinda partial to this version of the Banana Splits theme song….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flMS2gHFOH0
About 60 hours in the USAF during the Cuban missile crisis.
Bad, scary times for a 19 year old ex-altar boy who didn’t know his ass from 1st base.
We came this close, folks.
Today’s quote: “Democracy is the notion that the common folk know what is best for them and deserve to get it, good and hard.” H.L. Mencken <– a real piece of work, check him out.
“swiveled my giggle”?
I’ve never heard that expression before.
Technology?
A toss up between the cellular telephone with web access and the digital video recorders.
Sleep deprivation?
1979, Marine Corps boot camp, just before “graduation”.
We were awake for a few days stumbling around a field while the instructors allegedly used “live fire” as a training exercise.
Don’t know about the bullets, but the claymore mines were real.
I got a roomba several months ago, and LOVE IT! It does a better job than I ever did. the dust level in my house went way down.
Longest awake for me was about 36 hrs, for a job I needed someone to keep machines running for, guess who had to do it?
The roomba is fine if you have hardwood floors and the like and if you want the lawnmower version google mowbot. Its pretty awesome. Our mom and pop hardware store here had one, but I don’t think they do real well on hills, and thats kind of all we have in KY.
Sleep Deprivation Weekend started out as an alcohol-induced experiment, meant to only stay awake for 40 hours or so, but when I tried to go to sleep my brain was buzzing so much from staying awake for that long that I was up for another 6 hours watching tv and hallucinating before I finally passed out. Took about 3 days to recover.
Nowadays I can barely go a full work day without doing a face plant on my keyboard! What’s happened to me? I’m so ashamed.
LOVE my Scooba – when it isn’t broken, which has been more often than not – its just noisy, so when playing back shows on the DVR (I NEVER watch TV in real time anymore), I just have to turn up the volume really loud whilst Scooba has his way with my dirty floors.
Roombas– I don’t know how many I have. I have two in my offices and one at the house and then probably 2 olders one I keep for parts. I have given them as Christmas gifts to my sisters ( the ones who named their kids funny names). I can not imagine life without them. I do other stuff instead of vacuum now. I also have a scooba.
We do not have conventional gutters –I have rainhandlers (google it) – so I don’t need the Loog (gutter cleaner) they also make a pool cleaner and teaching model to teach your kids about robotics. As well as garage model and yes, pet models. My cat leaves the room looking bored when I run it in the house.
I can’t quite talk my husband into the lawnmower. He starts talking about my roomba “habit”.
Jason – Laser beams keep the roombas in their “pens”
Here’s what I do instead of vacuuming: read on my kindle. Anything on the gutenberg project is free. Many old classics are $.99 and some books I read are $3-5. I have a hard time paying $10 for a book now. I think Oprah had a $50 coupon bringing the price down to about $300. I spent almost $400 on mine. Early adopter nerd.
I, too, adore Squeeze. (old) and haven’t thought about the Tubes for years. Anybody Pandora.com or Rhapsody? I am so there. I have MP3 players (don’t use) and my son has an Ipod. Just too much work for me.
I don’t do staying awake. I have slept more than a day though.
Question re the shirts — Do you have a method of payment rather than Paypal ? Not to sound like a Luddite but I don’t have a Paypal acct and would be just as happy not to establish one. I’d be happy to send a check ( I’m good for it … I swear ! ) or observe the time honored tradition of “well-concealed cash”. Whaddya say, Kay ?
time honored ZINE tradition. Sorry.
Back in college I stayed up for 101 hours straight, mainly just to see if I could do it. I had hallucinations for roughly 2 1/2 of the 4+ days I was awake. I remember specific examples that included an X-Men poster where the characters looked at me and waved, and looking up at the ceiling of one of my classrooms and thinking it was covered in spider webs. After all was said and done, I slept for 19 hours straight. It is one of my favorite stories from college. I have it documented here:
http://stlouisville.blogspot.com/2008/06/101-hours-of-infamy.html
Scott, Not a problem if you’d rather pay with a check or cash. Just send it to the PO Box, listed at the CONTACT page. Also, if you send a check, make it out to me, not the Surf Report. Thanks!
there is a robot lawn mower. Last I saw though it was like 5 grand. Haven’t seen the roomba in action, but want one. that and a nabaztag.
http://www.nabaztag.com
1.) I’m guessing “snarky” is going to be worked into every post henceforth?
2.) Roomba’s rock… however they don’t replace a real vacuum.
3.) Any time I’ve stayed awake for more than 48 hours has involved illegal substances… generally from Columbia, but sometimes from a bathtub in Tiajuana. I often stay awake when traveling, though. I don’t sleep in cars, trains, or planes which means I’m driving or reading. Sucks when you’ve got a 36 hour trip from Dallas -> New York -> London -> Prague -> Moscow… but then I probably should have shelled out more money for a flight with fewer layovers.
JK, the hubby and I would love long sleeves. I would pay the extra in a heart beat.
THIS JUST IN!
I’m kind of embarrassed by this, I didn’t ask for the extra attention, but I’ve apparently been recommended for a position in the new Obama Administration. Check it out:
http://tinyurl.com/6bf9gq
Thank you, Buck. I’m sitting here giggling about the “team of political consultants” and their antics. And thanks, Jeff for the link.
Have a great day!
Jeff, you are one of my favorite humorists. I am still red-faced about absent-mindedly referring to you as a blogger in my first comment.
I was amazed to learn that Richard M. Nixon financed his first Congressional campaign with his high-stakes poker winnings. The things you learn watching Millionaire. Or at least that’s how I justify that 30 daily minutes of couch-potato behavior.
I was forced to stay awake for days on end when my now-14-year-old son came onto the planet under protest and screamed his lungs out for three months. Funny thing, now that he’s 14, I miss those days. Anybody know where I can find a pickle barrel?
I used to skip sleep all the time. Nothing real radical, I’d just skip a night here and there. Today I refuse to go without sleep. About an hour before bed every night I take 3 benadryls, 2 melatonin tablets, and two valerian root capsules. The valerian root sticks like ass but it helps.
48+ hours many times. USAF. When the blast doors closed at Cheyenne Mountain, you never knew when you would get out or sleep again.
JASON!!!! That’s an insane amount of druggles to put into your system.
This comingfrom someone who needs 9 hours a night and has no trouble gettign ot sleep. Bourbon helps with this, as it does with so many other things.
Lasers.
Jason-
Based on the times of day you post on here, I am guessing that you sleep some weird hours.Exactly how many hours a night do you sleep?
Taking all that shit would knock me on my ass for at least 3 days
Tiff,
I used to take more benadryl but I’d wake up groggy. The melatonin I take has B vitamins in it, which makes for lots of crazy dreams. My nightime cocktail puts me down for about 8 hours. I have to take something because my brain refuses to shut off otherwise (I’ll sit there and think about dinosaurs, and laser beams, and dinosaurs with laser beams attached to their heads, etc.)
Tadpolegal,
It just depends. Sometimes I stay up late trading currencies online, so I might not go to sleep until two or three in the morning on those days. Other times I go to bed at eight. Whenever the mood hits me, I guess.
Dane Cook Sux.
I believe the Iphone is one of the collest things that ever was and will be.
I’m officially requesting my wife get me a surf report Tshirt for Xmas.
Does 40 hrs awake on illegal drugs count?
harumpa,
What do you think about those rainhandlers? I’m redoing a house and I thought about using those. But I keep telling myself that there will be mini lakes in the front yard. Do they work well?
And I’d like to thank everyone who mentioned lasers. This sight is now over the top awesome.
I’d just like to see my lunatic schnauzers roomba-ized for a couple of days. Maybe it would straighten their asses up.
Coming back from Alaska, 36 hours awake. I couldn’t even sleep in athe airport terminal seats which allowed you to lay on your back.Needless to say didnt go into work on Monday…..
the portable breathalyzer has made my life better
Buck – you da man – you really need to give up more contributions to this site. And – whatever happened to Metten, Lakrfool, and CHARLEY friggin’ WEST?
Holy Crap in a bundt Pan – I’m getting all misty-eyed just thinking of the good old days, when NASCAR was a sport and my mortage was being paid…
Jason– Rainhandlers work great in FL because we have sandy soil and the water doesn’t ever sit– ok maybe on the mainland when it floods. I use them because I worry about splashback on my cedar siding. The water disperses instead of pouring down the siding. And, I do have regular gutters ( I mis-spoke) on about 15 ft across my screened porch — I have rain barrel hooked back there. the sheer volume of water keeps both barrels full ALL the time. Those regular gutters can overflow. We do get some rain.
I would like to thank everyone for the interesting reading on rain handlers.
2 straight days in Europe- it “sucked from the ass in…..”
LONG. SLEEVES. I’LL PAY!
I already ordered a small, Jeff.
Dinosaurs. With lasers. Ask the internets and ye shall receive.
http://www.machinemanuals.net/images/sounds/frickin_laser_beams.mpg
Throw me a fricken bone!
The vampire killing set at the further evidence link is fantastic.
Spiify McClintock – don’t forget Brad and Trinamick and Wordnerd. Gone, apparently, but not forgotten.
Also, Kenju, where are you?
Longest stretch I’ve stayed awake was earlier this year. (I’m 51 and can’t recall ever pulling an all-nighter in college, I always got SOME sleep.) I had to have my daughter in Toronto on a Saturday morning for a grad school audition. We planned to leave Morgantown early Friday, but there was a nasty winter storm moving in — snow, then ice on the snow — so we decided to leave late Thursday night, after I got off work, see if we could get out ahead of it. I’d been up since maybe 9 a.m. and proceeded to drive all night, crawling along I-79 and I-90 at 25-40 mph for most of it until we hit the QEH. Rolled into the hotel parking lot around 10:30 a.m. We got checked in, called home etc., went out and got lunch, then came back and crashed about 1:30.
So that’s, what, almost 30 hours?
I see by the other posts that I’m a sleep wimp.
Evil Twin: By a remarkable coincidence, I saw Squeeze open for the Tubes (with April Wine in the middle). Squeeze got no love on that bill. At one point one of them (Difford, Tilbrook, I dunno which) started clapping and said “Clap if you want us to play some more!” Nobody did a thing. He said, “Clap if you DON’T want us to play some more!” Nobody did a thing.
bucdaddy,
I don’t know if you heard this one or not. One time Bono was doing a concert in Dublin (I think) and he started his usual bloviating. After a song or two he went up to the mic and stood in silence for a moment. Then he started clapping. Clap….Clap…Clap…Clap…. and he said, “Everytime I clap my hands a child in Africa dies.”
Some Irishman near the front stood up and yelled, “Well stop clapping then, you cruel bastard!”
Okay sound off. Where’s everybody at? It’s 7:00 and I’m getting ready to go on a bender. I’ll try to stay civil, but I don’t pass out promises like they’re nothing. I mean, you can lead a horse to water, but if you want to drown him you have to be willing to cut off his legs off (or something like that). No wait, I think it goes like this: you can take a man to fish, but turning him into a fish is damn hard.
Jason,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Jason…I’m up and drinking rye (that’s Canadian Whiskey to you…) but unless we get Brandy in here I’m not sure if I want to play…you know sausage party and all.
Just ordered my shirt, got raped on the exchange rate @ .79 brought it to over $20 CAD. Not really complaining though, it’s a small price to pay to represent!
Jeff, thanks for the link to the theme songs…that’s the first time I’ve heard M.A.S.K. in many years! Yeah, I’m a child of the eighties, what of it?
My longest time awake was 52 hours. Woke up and went to work, after work left Ottawa for the OBX, I drove the whole way because the friends that were in the car with me drank hard that day then passed out on the way, overnight drive was about 17 hours straight, started drinking myself as soon as I saw the ocean (didn’t realize our destination was another 3 1/2 hours down the coast!), got to Cape Hatteras in late morning day two, into the hot tub of the rental house (it was a five person tub but we later discovered you could fit seven people if everyone was naked, cause clothing takes up oh so much room – yes there were girls with us), partied all night and crashed after the sun came up the next day. Amazing vacation!
Jeff, do Eninen call the fire department much? This may be a weird question but they seem like the type…you know with frantic “emergencies” and all. Just an FYI, my big brother officially became a full on Firefighter this week, we’re all very proud of him (sorry ladies, he’s married…but if you’re goal is to “get” a firefighter..you may do so vicariously through me, just sayin’) Anyways, not sure if I should warn my bro about the unforseen foreign dangers that await in this town…
Kevindust,
Keep that Canadian Whiskey coming until you fall down. I’ll stay with the Jack (Kentucky Whiskey) until I also fall down. I’ll prolly make it longer than you as I didn’t start drinking until 11:00 this morning.
Even if Brandy doesn’t show up, we can have fun. Maybe I’ll teach you to pronounce “house, out, and about”. HAHA. Little jab there my friend, little jab.
Drink up.
Jay, I didn’t get out of bed and start drinking until 4pm so I may have an advantage at lasting the night, then again maybe not…I haven’t eaten today. We’ll see.
I too loves me some of Jack’s Kentucky Whiskey but not with Coke, I mix it with apple juice (AppleJacks!) to sip or sambuca (Bazooka!) to shoot.
I never really got the “about” joke, me and everyone I know says it just like you southerners…as opposed to the way described in South Park: The Movie. When it comes to “eh” though…guilty as charged! Brrrr, getting cold in the igloo, gonna have to invite in another polar bear.
Wait a minute – you don’t throw an “aw” in the middle there where it doesn’t belong? It’s not “hou-aw-se” (or whatever, I can’t spell it)? Then I think you’ll do just fine. I drink my Jack with a long straw, right out of the bottle, at room temperature.
I tried taking less sleeping drugs last night because I felt guilty by what Tiff and Tadpole said. But I woke up at 4:30 this morning. There’s nothing on at that hour except for a guy trying to convince people that they can buy mansions for $519 dollars and another guy trying to convince people that their colons are packed with waste. I bought the colon pills, just in case.
i’m headed out the door. the wind is blowing hard and i think i hear it whispering “vodka… vodka…”. I may be back…
Brandy,
Vodka is good. Very good. I drink a lot of blueberry vodka and sprite, but I’ve never told anyone because I didn’t want to sound ghey. Oh wait, what?
Blow on winds, blow from on high,
and the princess sings her lullaby.
That’s fucking poetry.
I’ll be back in a while to check in.
Straight Jack…how do you stop the hair on your chest from constantly growing out of your shirts? That is hardcore, I can play that game but not for long. Kudos. I do take my tequila straight and at room temperature, no salt or lemon thank you.
Seeking entertainment at 5am can be a pain, but there’s always redtube! Thankfully, the only drug I need to sleep a full night is ibuprofen to keep the lower back happy. Good choice on the pills, let us know if the waste gets evacuated as promised. Or not.
I’m sitting here, drinking on a Saturday night, listening to Metallica then Fiona Apple. What does that mean?
Kev,
Straight Jack doesn’t grow hair on my chest. I’m fairly hairless. In fact, if I want hair on my chest I do like the bald guys do. I grow my underarms out and comb it over and hold it in place with hairspray. Hellz Bellz! I’m on fire, baby.
Really, I have no idea what Fiona Apple might mean. Maybe you’re reacing out, for apples? I’m no good at this. Ask someone else. But I must confess a love for good female vocalist. Also, I like Elvis. And I’m going to Graceland on Tuesaday. Yes, I’m a fucking dork. So what?
The armpit to chest combover: Introducing a whole new chapter of manscaping. Great Scott! As long as there is no back hair involved you may be OK.
Say what you want about “radio friendly hard rock” but the first time I saw/ heard Evanescence (Amy Lee) live, the hair on my arms stood up. There IS something special about a great female vocalist. See also: Lacey Mosley and Storm Large.
Did you know that Elvis now lives a hundred miles from me in Tweed, Ontario?
I hope Brandy comes back to visit, all vodka’d up
Elvis lives in a trailer park near Birminham, AL and he gets his rent for free. First because he’s the King, second because I own the place and he’s the manager.
Brandy will be back. We might be dead by then, but she’ll be back. I keep finding my way down to the Jungle Room. There’s apparently a “Godfather” special running on a constant loop. It’s hard for me to resist.
I’m off on a Between the Buried and Me tangent. Good South Carolina boys redefining music.
A trailer park owner! How fine. I like to vist Sunnyvale Trailer Park myself and keep up with Ricky, Julien and Bubbles.
Well,
I’ll pass out now. You should plan better next time, Kevindust. Next weekend we should both get drunk (you on your Rice, or whatever, and me on my Jack or Vodka) and at an appointed time we’ll point our cars towards each other and stomp the gas. I’m not sure what the overall idea of it will be, or how a winner might be determined, but who cares? Life isn’t about ideas or winners, is it? Oh wait, it is. Shit. We’ll think of something I’m sure.
Tootles,
Jason
Well, my trailer park comes with an above ground pool and ocassional use of the gazebo (provide you pay the extra fee, of course) and I provide water at a central fountain (natural spring, as some might say) so we consider ourselves fancy. Why wouldn’t we? We still have three or four lots left open for RVs around the perimiter, if you’re ever in the area. One of them has a place in which to empty your shitter, the other has a BBQ pit. This is a “historical” site so we’re not held to the usual red tape, if you know what I mean.
Seriously, passin out now. Nearly dead. You have to be quicker on the draw next time. Twenty or thirty minutes is enough for me to be hospitalized, much less too drunk to talk. blahhhhhhh!
I should plan better? HaHa, things have gone exactly as planned my friend…you’re off to bed shitting drunk land, I’m just getting warmed up and Brandy should be back around here when the bars close…
In the immortal words of John “Hannibal” Smith, I love it when a plan comes together.
too many vodka redbulls followed by a late night (early morning?) taco bell visit = bad idea. They have a new menu item called “Loaded Nachos”. Heed my warnings friends… stay away. bad. bad. it hurts. i must lay down.
I prefer raspberry vobka and sprite. I’ll try blueberry next time.
something is trying to claw its way out of my stomach right now.
Brandy, Ya’ll must have zantac in the US of A? While it’s best to take it before hand, it will perform miracle work with your stomach and heartburn even after the fact.
Vodka goes with anything…I started yesterday drinking white russians and plan to start tomorrow with a spicy Ceasar (steak in a glass!)
Hey Jason, I’m still up and drinking, eh!
…and it’s rye, not rice but I wouldn’t expect you to understand…it’s not your fault that you’re an American.
Trailer Park Boys is coming to an end…
http://www.canada.com/topics/entertainment/story.html?id=bccd1ff0-e1fb-4465-9bc7-de31670b055e
>>Evil Twin: By a remarkable coincidence, I saw Squeeze open for the Tubes (with April Wine in the middle).<<
Bucdaddy: Man, oh man – would I have loved to have seen that show! I never got to see either The Tubes OR Squeeze live. I also always had a soft spot for April Wine, as far as Canadian metal bands go – saw them live back in the late 70s (with the Scorpions, maybe?) – they always reminded me of Moxy. What a weird triple bill!
The boys are back in town! Did yall see that shit? The Dallas Cowboys! Woo frikken hoo!
Good Morning Surf Reporters…………………….
you have no idea what it took for me to get here
Ground control to Major Tom. Lincolns are sexy again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WS_alU8X2Q&NR=1
ET – The reason the CD costs $3 more in an Indie record store is because Best Buy and such places sell them for LESS THAN they pay for them, just to get you in the store. Your indie store can’t do that and stay in business…and the next time you want something a little less mainstream, good luck getting Best Buy to order it for you.
College was a long time ago…that’s probably the last time I stayed up longer than 24 hours. I just don’t remember the duration. Most recently I stayed up a good 24 hours flying to SF after a full day of work.