A Lack of Focus, Pass the Beer Nuts
Before we get started here, I have a strong recommendation for you guys. Amazon’s mp3 Deal of the Day is Sycamore Meadows by Butch Walker, which is a freaking masterpiece. And until midnight Seattle time (I presume) you can buy the entire album for just $2.99.
Do it! Do not hesitate. And don’t worry, I’d never heard of him, either… Rest assured, it’s nothing weird or experimental. It’s just straight-ahead pop/rock, done exceedingly well. The lyrics are great, there are plenty of laughs, and the songs will stick in your head until you feel like sawing the bitch off.
I’m serious, don’t let this one get past ya. Sycamore Meadows, along with this album, are my favorite semi-new releases. I recommend both, without hesitation, even at twice the everyday price.
After I posted today’s mockable, I went to Moe’s for a Nerf football sized burrito, and sat near a local celebrity. People were doing double-takes in there, and bumping into each other, but nobody approached him. They allowed the guy to ingest his 60 cents-worth of ingredients for $8.00, just like everybody else.
One thing worth noting: the dude was startlingly effeminate. I mean, seriously. I don’t think he has any muscles in his wrists, whatsoever.
There’s a guy who works at that Moe’s, with tattoos all over his arms. He built my lunch today… On one of my previous visits an old lady eyed him suspiciously, and finally said, “Are you a musician, or an artist of some kind?”
For some reason I find that to be hilarious.
It reminded me of my grandmother (one of the best humans who’s ever lived), at our wedding party. Toney and I were married by a judge in Atlanta, and had a kick-ass party at Swissotel in the evening.
My grandmother was starting to lose her marbles by that point, and was walking through the lobby with my Dad. There was an Asian man dusting there, and she zeroed in on the guy.
Then, after a few beats, she said LOUDLY, “John, I don’t think he’s our nationality!”
She meant no harm, I never heard her say a negative word, she was just making a statement of fact. Of course, it probably didn’t need to be shouted, like a person trying to communicate with someone trapped inside a collapsed coalmine. But, still…
A bit of advice: don’t listen to the George Noory radio show during a swine flu scare. By the time I got home last night I was near tears, and breathing through my shirt.
At first I was rolling my eyes and making snide remarks. More people have probably died from hot water tank explosions over the past two weeks… But as the doom and gloom started piling up, the blood drained from my face.
Yeah, many of the conspiracy theories contradicted each other, and a few were completely ludicrous, but I started thinking, “what if?” Sometimes the kookery starts to take its toll…
I was listening to Clive Bull talk about the same subject a couple of days ago, and his callers kept turning it into a joke. Clive was trying to be serious, but the listeners weren’t playing along.
One guy said he’s not worried about swine flu, because he has “oinkment.” Heh. Same subject, different perspective.
Have you noticed the gmail spam filter being overzealous lately? I think something got cranked-up a notch, because half my legitimate messages are going directly to the shitcan.
I think I might write a letter to someone about it.
My Dad told me that a man and woman showed up at their door a few days ago, and said they used to live in their house during the 1970s. They wanted to know if it would be OK if they had a look around.
Apparently their story was true, because some of the neighbors knew ‘em, but I wouldn’t have let them inside. No way, in hell. I’m too suspicious, and imagine worst-case scenarios as the default setting.
But I guess they had a good time with these people, and heard a lot of semi-interesting stories about them raising kids in the house, etc.
What do you think? Would you be so trusting? Also, have you ever had an opportunity to return to a house or apartment where you lived many years before? I haven’t, but I bet it would be surreal. Like bumping into an old girlfriend who is completely familiar, but basically a stranger.
If you have anything on this subject, let’s hear it.
Also, have you ever worked somewhere that ruined a product for you? Toney used to work at the Dessert Place in Atlanta (are they still around?), back during a previous lifetime, and said she couldn’t stand the smell or taste of cheesecake for a full decade.
What about you? Have you had jobs that ruined an old favorite? I’ve got nothing, I’m afraid.
Finally, what’s your favorite food served on a stick? I like Fudgesicles an awful lot, but will have to cast my vote for corndogs. Man, I can’t get enough of breaded wieners on a spike!
And that pretty much zeroes out the ol’ notebook, boys and girls. I’m calling it a week.
Have a great weekend! I’ll see you on Monday.
Filed under: Daily
First?
I should probably be more excited about it since it’ my first first. FIRST!!!
I have low standards I guess, because I’d just be happy to be 3rd.
3rd?
Late update! Sweet!
I hope somebody lets me in to my folks home when I’m 60 and more. Mostly what I want is for my Mom to never leave there, or for me to buy it and make a shrine out of it.
With her hips and back, it’s just a matter of time before she’ll have to move in somewhere in which everything is on one floor.
By then some schmuck will be living in “MY HOUSE”! And it just won’t be right. No sir.
I worked at an IHOP after high school and just started enjoying pancakes again after about 13 years. And they used to be a favorite.
I gotta vote on the corndog, as well.
How about a midwestern fair corndog!! The one that costs you about 8 dollars, another 5 dollars for a barely “freshly shaken” lemonade that tastes like sprite water. mmm..
As a youngster I waited tables in Olive Garden..used to love love love fettucini alfredo..but if you saw that sauce before it was heated and stirred..I don’t think I have had it since.
toodles!!
Better be a good album…downloading now…course you didn’t like Fleet Foxes, and I did. That ain’t good.
New favorite is Lily Allen.
I once tried to visit the house I grew up in, but the owners said they were really busy and acted all put out by my request. My parents can be such assholes.
I’d like to check out the bomb shelter buried in the backyard of my childhood home. Has it been removed? Has it caved in or something? If not, maybe the current owners can rent it out to me.
I’d have to go with chicken satay. If you ask me tomorrow, I might say fudgesicle is my favorite.
I’ve driven by my childhood home a handful of times, but never knocked on the door. I don’t like getting the suspicious stinkeye, so I’ll just peer in from across the street… The red maple I planted on my 15th birthday is 40′ tall now, which is cool.
Orange creamsicle. Onna stick.
I used to work at a hot dog factory, but it never put me off cased precooked meats. Might have something to do with the fact I quit after 2 weeks (I could never do factories – I tried 5 different ones as a youth, all were short term).
Jeff,
I think you’ve mentioned this Butch Walker character before. I’m sure I’ve previewed that album because of this site and – well, to hell with it. I’m jumping on the $2.99 deal. You can’t even get a happy meal for that.
I drove by my childhood house when I visit Texas. Total shithole these days.
I went to Ireland where my great grandfather used to live and we ended up finding his farm and house. They always talked about him scratching his name and some musical notes in the glass of one of the windows. I always thought it was bullshit. But there it was. The people living there (an elderly brother and sister) tried to sell it to us on the spot for $150,000 US. It would be worth 5 times that now.
My favorite food on a stick would have to be corndogs. That and women. Pretty much anything on a stick is delicious.
‘Nother vote for the corndog here, follwed closely by the ice cream treat known as a “Strawberry Shortcake,” not to be confused with the actual dessert.
My Mom went back to the house she grew up in and found it occupied by a lesbian couple. They were happy to let her in to look around; my grandfather’s study had been converted to a weight room and my mom’s childhood bedroom was now filled with erotic art.
My favorite on-a-stick food: Frozen cheesecake dipped in chocolate! I go to San Francisco Pride every year just to have this delicacy (okay, and for other reasons).
A few years ago, I was feeling all impulsive and adventurous (it almost never happens) and went to the house my family lived in for about 2 years, right before I started elementary school. I heard so many stories from my parents and other family members about how this was a genuine haunted house, and decided I needed to check it out for myself. I got there, but nobody was home to decide whether or not to let me in.
In retrospect, that’s probably a good thing. I’m also always thinking of the worst case scenario, and I’m still pretty sure that the people who live there are ax murderers.
Have been back in my old house several times and they haven’t changed a thing – just different furniture. Of course, it was perfect when I sold it to ‘em!
Try it: Cold boneless porkchops (cooked) on a stick dipped in Applesauce. Mmm-Mmm
The fambly homestead is still in the fambly, so I can go there whenever I want. As for the 7 or so other places I’ve called home, nope, I haven’t been back. And I wouldn’t let anyone into my house with that sort of cock and bull story either. That’s a good way to end up hogtied and nekkid with a ball gag crammed in my mouth and “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” as my “safe word”.
I like popsicles. Specifically Edy’s Fruit Bars. Grape is my fave.
I’ve read about the 1918 Influenza. I’m more worried about what’s coming later in the year. Good news, though, they’re probably working on a vaccine right now. Just don’t get sick between now and November, k?
I sold dirty water hotdogs from a cart for 10 years. Never ate one from the cart and will not eat boiled hotdogs at all. Once a year I will have a grilled one as long as it is nathan’s or hebrew national.
I worked for Frito Lay in Williamsport, PA during one of the hottest summers ever while in college.
To this day I will only eat Tostitos, especially after cleaning the Cheeto line on the hottest day ever and sweating cheese powder.
The place was clean and I have no qualms about how things are produced, but when you sweat enough cheese to fill a Cheeto bag, you just can’t bring yourself to ever eat one again.,
corndogs, damn straight!
I worked for a telemarketer selling refinancing for mortgages and haven’t been able to buy a house since.
My parents are still in the same house I grew up in, but it’s different. It’ll be really different if someone new moves into it.
The real question remains: WHO is the local celeb?
Corndogs for me please, but make it one of the deep fried ones from the county fair, screw that microwave crap!
I drive by the house I used to live in when I’m in Chas., but I’ve never had the nerve to ask to go in. I sure would like to, though.
I always said that I would buy out my (ex) brother’s half of my parents’ house after they were gone, but in the end, just being in the place was too painful, so I put it on the market and sold it to some asshole family. I loved that house. :::sob::::
The people we bought our house from are super nice and if they wanted to come back and look around, they would be more than welcome. The man who built our house lived next to us (he was 85 and dying of cancer), but his kids would come visit and tell us all sorts of things about the house. After he died, they were cleaning his house out and found the original blueprint plans for this house and gave them to us! Priceless!
Wow, lots of questions to answer today:
When I was 17, I worked at the Ohio State Fair in one of those “diner” type places right beside the freak shows. That was eons ago, but I would never work anyplace that food was made again (or serving people, for that matter)!
My brother, who is very sentimental, went to our childhood home about 10 years ago. The neighborhood has gone downhill over the years. My brother is a pretty big guy and I would have been intimidated if someone who looks like him came to my door. But, the owners let him in! They were probably the 4th or 5th people to own the place since my parents sold it in the 70′s when they retired. So, they didn’t know him from Adam but let him look around anyway.
Favorite food on a stick: dark chocolate Dove bars!
Zoe! Thats a classic!!
I quit my job at the TV station 22 years ago this summer, and I still can’t bring myself to watch much TV. OK, there’s ONE show I try to catch every week. It was zero for many years.
I’m not sure I really have a childhood home as such; I remember five different residences growing up, and my parents have moved four times since I moved out.
Favorite food on a stick? Kabobs, if they count. If they don’t count, I’ll join Lee Harvey in voting for satay.
If you’ve ever had the hunkering to see your childhood home, I *highly* suggest you check out google maps “street view”.
Much of the us is snapped and uploaded.
(Good for all old jaunts)
Jeff:
Honestly I would have understood and let them in, but then again I have more faith in my dog than maybe you do with Houllihan Andy.
Fav food on a stick?
Chic-fil-a on a stick (DIY project)
It takes a lot to ruin food for me. (Exhibit A: the size of my ass.) The only food joint I ever worked in was a frozen yogurt place in the mid-80′s. My favorite flavor then, and now, is still the unflavored base yogurt before they add any syrups. It’s kind of tart, kind of cheesecake-y, but much better. Great smothered with fresh berries and crumbled Oreos. And don’t get me started with food on a stick.
Never had the nerve to ask to see the house we used to live in even though my mother still has a casual acquaintance with the family that bought it from us. I figure I might be disappointed to see that the early 70′s cartoon jungle wallpaper had been removed from the room that my brother and I shared, or that my sisters’ room no longer had the pink and lavender butterflies. Just wouldn’t be the same.
Last summer, my mother and I visited the city I was born in and found the apartment we lived in some 40+ years ago. I was casually taking some pictures of the area when the current resident showed up and started giving us the stink eye. At that point, we had to tell her what we were doing so that she wouldn’t call the cops. Didn’t ask to see the inside, but my mother and I surmised that from what we saw outside, the inside was likely still all original from the 60′s. And probably filthy. No need to look around, thanks.
I’ve mostly worked at universities, but it hasn’t really turned me off to education
Back in the late 80′s/early 90′s, I worked at a Fannie May Candies store. I can’t even imagine how much candy I ate during the 6 years I worked there. I gained a LOT of weight. Never got tired of it, but I did get tired of hearing customers say shit like “I bet you don’t even eat it after working around it”, and “if I worked here, I’d be so fat that I wouldn’t be able to fit through the door”.
I do love me some corndogs. My favorite thing on a stick is cooked on a stick but not usually served on it – kefta kabobs. Yum!
Sonic has a pancake on a stick that is very tasty. Looks like a corndog but there is sausage inside pancake outside and you dip it in syrup. Mmmmm. Love me a fresh corndog too.
I worked at a Kentucky Fried Chicken (yes, Jeff I know how you feel about them but I still think they are the best fried chicken around) when I was barely out of my secret years. I would smell so bad when I got off of my shift, my mom would make me strip out of my petroleum based uniform in the garage.
I took about a 10 year break from fried chicken. Now I love it again but am too old and wise to eat it very often.
Deer loin cubed and marinated in olive oil ,vinagar garlic salt ,pepper ,and ground cayene pepper. on a stick over a hot grill for just a bit.= Heaven.
If you like Butch Walker, check out his previous band The Marvelous 3.
Good Stuff!
I’m way ahead of you, DCinCinci. I’ve got all three albums on the Big iPod.
So, what did you guys think of the new Butch Walker? I see twelve of you downloaded it. Am I right, or what?
Hey chill, what is UP with all the numbers in your post? passing some kind of code or something?
22, ONE, zero, five, four
curious.
I think I’ve watched too much LOST.
Not a fan of the band……sorry. You guys might like a band out of Texas called “Macavity”. God I love those guys, but who is this Celeb you speak of. I mean you’re like a high school girl who just wants to dry hump. Haven’t been able to touch tortellini, because of my former cooking job. I probably would let some one come through our house if it was previously owned but……I hope they don’t mind the M-4 Carbine cradled in my arms and Beretta 92FS on my side as I walk behind them (WWBD).
Jeff do you podcast Clive Bull? I mean how do you get a British talk radio guy in Northeast PA, I mean I get as far as N.C. down here in Southeast PA on a good night (clear). Mr. Noore looks fantastic I’m going to have to listen to him, luck for me I work a 6pm to 6am shift on Sat-Sun…nothing like a good conspiracy theorist to make you cry with laughter. Bulls callers are absolutely right on about this Pig Flu, absolute F’in nonsense!
Fav Food on a stick……Chicken glazed with chili sauce and grilled or lime marinated Gator. WOOWEE!!
Corndogs are damn good allright….but even better when they’re called Dip Dogs!!! Hell yeah!
Haven’t been to the old homestead in years . . . the last time I noticed how narrow the streets were in the neighborhood. When we were growing up they were so “wide” and you couldn’t cross the street by yourself . . it just wasn’t safe.
Fav food on a stick? When I was WAY younger, we’d go to downtown LA for shopping. And, there would be some guy with a cart selling mangoes or cucumbers on a stick. Bear with me here . . . the fruit/veggie would be peeled and placed on a stick. Then he would diagonally slice the sides (not all the way through) and then squeeze a lemon all over the fruit/veggie and sprinkle chili pepper on it. OMG! I’d be walking around with a cuke on a stick! and it was delicious.
That sounds pretty damn good.
What is this “chicken satay?” Am I stupid or something? Don’t have to answer that.
I worked as a cook and manager in several restaurants in my teens and early 20s and it ruined me on restaurants forever. I rarely go to them. I know what goes on in kitchens at even the best places and the thought makes me a bit queasy. Oh the stories I could tell. The lackadaisical preparation and general sanitation and the outright adulteration of food by vengeful kitchen staff……the stories would make you sick.
Other than a favorite local cafe which has a totally open kitchen where you can easily watch your food being prepared or the occasional swing through the fast food drive thru when I’m in the big city I just don’t eat in restaurants all that much since I worked in one.
Both houses where Jeff and I grew up in (through the 5th grade) are complete shitholes now. I’d be afraid to tour that house now, in fear of contracting scurvy or whooping cough or something similar.
I will not eat yeast type do-nuts, but cake do-nuts are ok..I worked at do-nut shop for 5 years and to this day can’t stand the smell of them cooking.
I had a chance to see the house I grew up in and actually thought I might like to see the inside, untill I pulled up to the dirty ghetto shack that it had become…so sad
Favorite food on a stick…does roasted corn count? You know, like you get at the fair..mmmm
Bluegill on a stick is wonderful!
I bought a house in WV, ‘cross the river from Jeff’s old stompin’ grounds. It had been on the market for 2 years so we got a good price. After we moved in the “kids” of the previous owner decided they would walk into the house and get “their” stuff. I was sweeping the basement out so I stepped on the broom and smapped the head off so I could use the handle as a weapon to repel the invaders.
My wife knew them but I had never seen them before. They left when I, brandishing my stick, dialed 911 and told them to get the hell out…
Corn dogs are great, but here in Wisconsin (The cheese capitol of the world) our State Fair and several other events have a booth called “Wisconsin Cheese”. At this place you can purchase a wide variety of deep-fried cheeses, but the very best food on a stick-EVER- is called Swiss and Rye. A big block of swiss cheese on a stick, breaded with Rye crumbs, fried to melted perfection and served with German Mustard.
Damn- I cant wait until Fest season!!!
The Butch Walker is great.
I’m typing this through latex gloves, every square inch of my body is covered in a thick layer of Vaseline, and I have a glass globe over my head. Gotta keep that pig flu at bay or we’re all gonna die.
They closed all of the schools in town after a couple of kindergarden kids missed school sick. Absurd.
Noory can be pretty frightening when you have an uneasy feeling about something already, but when you don’t, that show is just plain funny, in a wow-are-they-dumb sorta way.
Secondly, couldn’t agree more with you on corndogs. Especially at the State Fair. My wife just bought the kids and I a box of pancake dogs. Mild breakfast sausage on a stick wrapped in a breaded pancake-ish shell with just a hint of maple. Not bad at all.
Keep up the sarcasm and the fun!
My father-in-law when he was about 80 went back to a former house where he and his wife first started raising their family and asked the people if he could come in and look at the place. They were glad to do it. It meant a lot to him. Nothing bad happened.
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters……
couldn’t check in earlier(yesterday), absolute madness and mayhem at the workplace.
Interesting topic about letting people in the house. Just last weekend, Saturday night around 9:30 , there’s a knock on the door. We weren’t expecting anyone and there was teen aged zitster looking for my kid.
After I explained that my boy was at the movies, the kid says “can I use your phone?”
Sorry I don’t know you. Who do want to call?
“Emily, she lives right over there” as he points across the street and down the block.
Why don’t you just walk down there then?
“C’mon, let me use your phone please”
I’m already half in my cups and I didn’t appreciate this kid’s ‘tude.
I told him in no uncertain terms I didn’t know him from Adam and he wasn’t coming in. I even apologized for being a dick, but it wasn’t going to happen, so beat it.
Anyone else here think I over reacted? I don’t. My imagination was running like JK’s, I could just see this punk pulling out a piece, putting one behind my ear, killing my dog and cleaning me out.
Drunk and paranoid is no way to go through life, son.
Oh, favorite edible on a stick would have to be orange Creamsicles.
We bought our house 8 1/2 years ago. Last year the folks we bought it from were visiting the family across the street for a graduation party. We chatted up how we fixed up the house (new flooring, screened in porch…) and asked if they wanted to stop in for a look.
They declined.
They knew it was a trap.
Jeff, I heard the same George Norry you did. I don’t believe in all the conspiracy theories either. Some are just way out there. But that show scared the shit out of me. “What if” is right.
categorically,undeniably the the ultimate and only worthy contender for the PERFECT food on a stick-which I just happen to be munching on- has to be………an olive!! lightly marinated in ice cold Tanqueray with a hint of vemouth:)
And here I thought I was the only Butch Walker fan in West Virginia! I’ve seen him live a gazillion times, he’s amazing.
Albatross on a stick is some fine eatin.
STEAK ON A STAKE IS THE BEST
Caramel apples are a good stick food. I like the ones caramel, chocolate, and crushed pecans.
Pagan – that’s the best “stick food” I’ve seen yet in the comments
Jason – oh, I forgot about caramel apples…I haven’t had one in ages. Yum!
Favorite food on a stick has to be drunk college girl with low morals. I bring my own stick. (Wishful thinking.)
Jeff: Was your local celebrity that Hazleton Mayor that hates Mexicans?
My mom and dad still live in the same house I grew up in, 40+ years ago and I like it that way.
Hooray! Hooray! The first of May! (Outdoor screwing starts today!)
I don’t know if this counts but…
I used to love to eat duck… I thought it was pretty darn tasty. Until I worked on a 1920′s era replica farm…
We had a duck and I just loved her. I even trained her to do little tricks…
I don’t eat duck anymore.
Ok Jeff…..I need to know who this local celebrity was at Moes.
Local and Celebrity are sort of an oxymoron though in reference to the Scranton/Wilkes-Barre area.lol
mmmmmmmmm, duck on a stick
Corn on a stick…. an ear about the size of the one in the bunker cam photo………. Now thats an ear of corn….muthrfuckr!
OK, all you infobitches with your facepage and mybook and ethersongs that download from nowhere. I bought Sycamore Meadows a couple months ago because Jeff’s recommendation is usually pretty good and because he couldn’t stop recommending this guy. By “I bought it” I mean that I purchased atoms formed into a cardboard cover and a plastic composition disc and slit the plastic and looked inside.
But I had broken my 4th personal DVD player this year (a $60 Sony DNS313F “unbreakable”) listening each night to audio books on my back porch, falling asleep, and crashing down the four cement steps that separate the porch from the patio. So I only had a couple old cassette players and plenty of cassette audio books and I listened to them whilst my 700 CDs slept on the shelf in my office/bedroom and Butch Walker remained in his sleeve.
So I bought a $15 Jensen CD player (probably not the original Jensen sound people; most likely Fred Jensen, a citizen of Taiwan and the World) and tried it out. It’s shit of course, and there’s no “carry time”. When you fart or burp, the music skips like the old days when the drunkest guy at the party fell across the turntable. But when I can stay perfectly still and not consume any gas-producing meals, I hear a sound.
And with Butch Walker, I hear a voice. He sings IN FRONT of the fuckin music like Bob Dylan used to do when he changed the world. I know it’s out of fashion, but it’s nice to hear the lyric, since somebody, in this case, Butch, went to some trouble to write it.
And it’s very, very nice, as is the music. Catchy buy still sufficiently complex, and hooky without being trivial. Now Jensen and I have been through the material a couple of times, and I want more, so I’ll tiptoe to the porch and hope for no earthquakes.
Thanks, Jeff. Butch really rocks.
johnthebasket