I’m Mobilizing the Surf Report Army in Support of Crossroads Road!
UPDATE: I’m going to stop taking orders for signed copies of the book at midnight on Saturday. Response has been greater than anticipated, and it’s quickly getting out of hand. I appreciate it, sincerely. But it’s getting to the point where I won’t be able to deal with it in a timely manner. I hope this doesn’t cause too many problems. The book will be available at Amazon soon, and we can make arrangements for me to sign those copies at a later date, if you’d like. Thanks, guys! This is an awesome start. The novel is doing well at the Kindle Store, and I’m loving your reviews. Let’s keep it going!
OK, my friends, this is it. Today is the official launch date for my novel, Crossroads Road, and I’m asking for your help. I need to mobilize the Surf Report army.
I know many of you have already purchased the electronic version of the book, and it’s much appreciated. If you haven’t, here are the links again:
Kindle Store at Amazon
NOOKBooks at BN
Kindle Store at Amazon.co.uk
I’m hoping the proof copy of the paperback will arrive in the mail today, and if it looks good I’ll make it available as well. It will be $13.95 at Amazon. Please stay tuned.
Also, I’m going to take orders for signed, personalized copies of the paperback. I’ll leave the link active until Saturday (4/2) at midnight. Then I’ll place an order for the appropriate number of books, lay in a large amount of Yuengling, and start signin’.
If you’re PayPal averse, you can send a check to Jeff Kay, PO Box 88, Clarks Summit, PA 18411. Make the check payable to Jeff Kay. Try to get the check to me by April 8, so I can order your copy. Thanks!
And please remember, this is NOT the only way to get the paperback. It’ll also be available at Amazon shortly. This is just for signed copies. If you don’t care about my slightly drunken chicken scratch, you can order it directly from them. They’ll take good care of you.
Also, I’ve taken the liberty of making a list of things you can do to help further the cause. As most of you are aware, this is a huge deal for me. I’ve got a lot wrapped up in this book, and I’m asking for your help. We need to spread the word beyond the Surf Report community. Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their dumbass internet friend.
Here are a few suggestions:
- “Like” the book at Facebook. On the Amazon sales page there’s a little orange icon with a thumbs-up. Please hit that button, if you’re so inclined.
- Post something about the book at Facebook.
- Tweet something about the book at Twitter.
- Post and Tweet again, at a different time of the day. Facebook and Twitter are like a ticker tape, and people miss stuff as it clicks past.
Write an HONEST review, and post it at Amazon and BN.com. I’m not asking you to stuff the ballot box with five-star reviews. I like five-star reviews, of course, but I’m not advocating for shenanigans. Reviews are especially important, so please leave one if you can.
- Tell your friends and co-workers about the book. If you think they’d like it, and they seem complacent, buy ‘em a copy.
- Email your friends, and tell them about Crossroads Road. Provide a link to the Amazon or BN.com sales page.
- Mention the book in a blog post.
- Mention the book in the comments sections of other websites, and also at forums.
- And finally: buy the novel!
Obviously, I’m not asking you to do all these things. But if you can do as many as possible, I’ll be eternally grateful. The weekend is almost here. Please set aside a few minutes to make as many people as possible, in whatever way you choose, aware of Crossroads Road.
Thank you guys. I love you all, with only a couple of exceptions. Please help me spread the word. And if you can think of other, more creative ways to do it, tell us about it in the comments.
See ya next time.
Filed under: Daily
Our boy is growing up. I’m so proud of him! *sniff*
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I just ordered my signed copy! This new-fangled internet PayPal thingy ain’t so hard. Good thing I got good Wiffy where I work.
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Valentin Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 4:35 pm
McDonalds?
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Valentin Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 4:35 pm
McDonalds?
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I’m wondering if Amazon Canada will have it, eventually? Maybe I should just order a signed copy to be safe.
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clintcurtis Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 9:32 pm
You can order it from Amazon Canada, but the autograph will read “Jeff K’ehh.”
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Good2go Reply:
April 3rd, 2011 at 7:58 am
http://instantrimshot.com/classic/?sound=rimshot
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Will do, sir. And congrats again.
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Congrats on getting to the point where you CAN mobilize the army! That’s an accomplishment in and of itself.
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One way to support Jeff as a writer is to buy the book today. Book sales are tracked by how many are sold, and how quickly they sell. Start ordering and then order your friends and family to order copies.
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I hate paypal.
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We’re not gonna all of us have to meet somewhere and do one of those dance things, are we?
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You probably got my check today…yeah the dave in Ohio. Hope that was ok and as soon as I can find where (been looking for three days) I put my blogger password I’ll make a big mention there. No one ever reads it but hey…I’ll do my part and keep the left flank down here in the bottom-land just this side of the landfill, secured.
Creative ways?…Someone should say that if you read it backwards it’s a loose translation of “Mien.Kampf”. Or maybe a Virgin Mary sighting if you hold page 78 open, face north and open the refridgerator door. And where the fuck is Bonnie Franklin when you need her?
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clintcurtis Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 9:38 pm
dto, you are a shining example of why I come to this site. Yes, Jeff is our “Fearless Leader,” but your comment above just made me spew Pepsi out my nose. P.S. I’m sending you the bill to repair my carbonated soda infused laptop. lol!
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I just ordered my signed copy, but PayPal must hate me. Everytime I have ordered with them there is a problem. This time I wasn’t able to access the ‘Special Instructions’ tab without getting an error through their systems.
Alas, I ordered the book anyhoo. I just hope Jeff signs at least his name!
So proud of you, Jeff! I’m blasting my FB & Twitter feed for ya!
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I just bought my copy with paypal from your link. There was no option for special instructions and the cost for us Canadians is $20. Worth every penny I’m sure! Could you just sign it To Barb? Can’t wait to read it!
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Valentin Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 4:23 pm
I was wondering about the special instructions also. I guess Jeff must have deleted this bit from the update because i can’t find it anymore. No personalization then i guess.
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Valentin Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 4:31 pm
nevermind.
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Kevindust Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 6:17 pm
The cost for us Canadians is around $19.26 based on todays exchange rate…these days we get good comedy for our dollar!
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For those like myself that have nothing but a pc, I now know you need not own a kindle to download and enjoy Jeff’s ebook…..
http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=amb_link_355504542_6?ie=UTF8&docId=1000493771&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-1&pf_rd_r=08EMP0Z4BCGZMSRW6W47&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=1290189902&pf_rd_i=507846
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Seanette Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 4:20 pm
There’s also an iPhone/iTouch app that works quite well (can’t vouch for other platforms).
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chill Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 7:32 pm
I “sent” mine to my Android phone, and that works just fine.
.
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Terri Reply:
April 2nd, 2011 at 8:21 am
I read my Kindle books on my IPhone all the time. They sync together, so when I go back to my Kindle – it takes me to the page I was on. Since they don’t light up (like the IPad) I use my phone when I want to read in the dark.
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If the special instructions doesn’t work, then go without it. I removed that request from the update, and added a mailing address for people who don’t like PayPal.
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Gretchen Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 4:23 pm
I put my request in the “Special Instructions for Seller” part. That seemed to work just fine.
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Gretchen Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 4:24 pm
Er, rather the “Instructions to Merchant” section. Apparently my memory can’t be trusted from one mouse click to the next.
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Want my copy now!!!!!! (dissolves into a translucent style fit)
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kristin Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Could you spill a little Yuengling on it, for authenticity?
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icecycle66 Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 2:53 pm
Yes, I want you to sign my copy with some booze as part of the signature.
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Henderson Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 4:18 pm
I requested a beer stain from a Yuengling bottle when I put in my order. Looks like great minds think alike. I hope Jeff gets to my copy early in the process as I don’t want a vomit stain.
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I just ordered my signed copy. Come on Mailman!
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I’ll be buying the signed version also, thank you. And yes, I’m no fan of PayPal either, but this is a special case, folks.
Also, I would like to point out that the bizarre incident featured in Further Evidence occurred in Belmont County **OHIO**. I swear, it’s as if they yanked out one of the most godforsaken counties in southern WV and hurled it across the river from me. (And don’t get me started on the condition of their vehicles – - no mandatory auto inspection in OH and it shows.)
Today’s quote: “I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.” Steven Wright
Bonus quote: “I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.” Steven Wright
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rocket pubes lmao
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Not Oprah Reply:
April 2nd, 2011 at 1:06 pm
‘like a f’n circus clown out of a canon’ – Hilarious!!!
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Just bought a signed copy. Looking forward to it.
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Just ordered the signed copy….special instructions worked OK on the paypal site, hopefully they go through. Just in case, Jeff, the one going to Sarah St in Pittsburgh is for “Rat Bastard.” Cheers!
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When will it be available at iBooks?
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“Thank you guys. I love you all, with only a couple of exceptions. ”
Lol!
Bought the book today! I will read it as soon as I get back from Florida next weekend!!!
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Paypal version ordered. Posted on fb. Good luck with it Jeff!
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I just ordered my signed copy too! Unfortunately, I am all too familiar to PayPal’s bullshit as I have to use it for my jewelry sales. It’s unavoidable. It is what it is….ya gotta do whatcha gotta do….just sayin’. There. Did I annoy anyone yet?
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kristin Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 2:26 pm
It is what it is.
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Rat Bastard Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 2:27 pm
“…at the end of the day…”
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 3:00 pm
‘God willing and the scotch don’t rise.’
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Bill in WV Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 3:29 pm
Each book comes with rocket pubes.
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“I love you all, with only a couple of exceptions.”
Who are the exceptions, ’cause that could influence my buying decision?!
Kidding, I’ll be ordering my copy with your drunken signature today. I’m thinking it’ll be my beach book this year. Congrats, Jeff!
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Bunker Cam: Wow. Lucky girl. Does he have a brother?
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I want to help pimp the book on Facebook. I have a large number of friends (as you might have guessed) and they’ll do pretty much anything I say (as you also might have guessed). But I don’t know what the fuck to post. Do I post links to this page or what? Somebody help a brotha out.
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I have placed my order. Now I wonder if I am one of the exceptions.
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Jason Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 2:36 pm
Nope. I’m with ya!
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I’m getting the Amazon link to Crossroads Road tattooed to my cock. As I type this. Should get a lot of traffic/sales from that.
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Limey Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 3:48 pm
Presumably as a TinyURL?
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Alex Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 4:25 pm
!-RIMSHOT-!
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Limey Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 8:03 pm
It’s probably going to generate a flood of orders from sailors, do Amazon ship to APO/FPO addresses?
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Jason Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 8:27 pm
HA! What is it Amy Sedaris wrote to insult Bill on the link Gretchen provided below?
I’d call you a cunt but you lack the warmth and depth.
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Can’t wait to get my autographed real book version! I don’t use Paypal very often, but this was a suitable occasion.
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I’ve sent an Email link to over 50 co-workers who I think would enjoy your work. Nothing like some great humor to ease the pain of tax season!
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If I pay shipping I wonder if Jeff would autograph my Blizzaks?
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Bill in WV Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 3:33 pm
With so many great references, Jeff would probably keep those bastards and install them on his ride.
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OK, just ordered my autographed copy. Beer bottle rings on the cover would be a nice touch.
I have to chuckle at PayPal’s tag line: “The world’s most-loved way to pay and get paid.”
I have news for them: PayPal is the world’s *least-loved* way to pay and get paid.
I will mention it on my Facebook page as well. (The book, not PayPal.)
One more & I quit. For today.
“Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.” Steven Wright
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Congratulations!
Signed copy ordered.
Jeff – if enough people (IIRC more than 200) buy the book from you via PayPal, they’ll report that income to the IRS. Just a heads up from an online seller. You also might want to be thinking about PA Sales Tax…
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I want Blacklips Hulihan’s paw print on my copy. Is that possible? Maybe in spaghetti sauce?
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^^^^^ exception
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Hold the beer stain on my copy, I’ll probably take care of that myself! Also no rocket pube either.
I’m going to buy five copies for my mother.
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Bill in WV Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 4:31 pm
You do that doc.
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Valentin Reply:
April 2nd, 2011 at 9:07 pm
You’ll be out front smiling man. Oh beautiful.
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retrollama Reply:
April 2nd, 2011 at 9:41 pm
LOLing over here, and wondering how many others are getting the reference
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chill Reply:
April 3rd, 2011 at 7:26 pm
Everybody who is “of a certain age” and had a radio back in the day, which group includes me. And from what I understand, they actually *did* get their picture on the cover.
.
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I’ll be sending my check in tonight. Paypal is out of the question. Should have it in hand by next Friday, though. If those bastards at the post office don’t screw things up.
(Disclaimer: I happen to be a postal worker, I know what I’m talking about here)
Can’t wait to get my copy. Unfortunately, I don’t do any twitter or facebook kind of things, but I’ll pass the word best I can.
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clintcurtis Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 10:12 pm
squawvalleyskip, let me just say that I totally applaud you Postal guys. Man, being able to send a real paper letter to a girlfriend across the continent for 45 cents? The end result is just absolutely priceless! No amount of text messaging can make up for the physical aspect of a real letter. You guys are the best!!!
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squawvalleyskip Reply:
April 2nd, 2011 at 12:13 am
clintcurtis,
Thanks. I don’t actually handle the mail, I’m an electronic technician. I fix the sorting machines when something goes south. Times are hard for us. Given the choice of shipping for your copies of Jeff”s book, we’d all appreciate it if you’d use the Postal Service.
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I bought the Kindle version a couple days ago, finished it last night. HILARIOUS. Honestly one of the best books I have read in awhile, and I read 3-4 books a month. Great great great work Jeff.
I also just ordered two signed copies. One for me, and one for a good friend who shares a similar sense of humor.
Thanks for writing this book Jeff!!!
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Already blogged it, so there’s another dozen people who know.
Wait, half a dozen. Most people who read are from here anyhow.
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Personalized book ordered!
Thanks, Jeff.
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tiff Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 5:33 pm
me too – got over the PayPal nerves and went for it.
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Got my order in and praying PayPal doesn’t f%#k it up.
Can’t wait to get my hands on it; letting everybody I give a damn about it now……
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……….both of them.
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Just ordered my signed copy. Paypal did its thing. All is right with the world.
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just ordered mine.. Thanks Jeff!
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I just ordered two, in case one breaks. In my excitement, I didn’t even think of the “special instructions” link. But I think I’m the only Reporter in Fairfax.
And thanks, Jeff!
.
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Did anyone specifically request that Jeff insult them?
http://flavorwire.com/165532/how-to-get-insulted-by-authors
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jim britton Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 8:08 pm
That is amazing.
Mr. Ryan is on to something.
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Gretchen Reply:
April 1st, 2011 at 9:04 pm
My favorite is the Amy Sedaris inscription.
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chill Reply:
April 3rd, 2011 at 7:19 pm
Amy Sedaris is a brilliant, brilliant woman. It must run in the family. And I may end up repeating what she said, should the opportunity present itself.
.
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My check is in the mail.
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Just ordered mine as a “guest of PayPal.” Hehe…I’ve come up in the world. I used to be a “Slave to Capitalism,” now I’m a “Guest of PayPal!”
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I started reading chapter 9 and Jane Says came on the radio in some kind of weird Kevin – Perry Farrell cosmic alignment.
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Jeff- You gotta get Oprah a copy!!!! All she’s gotta do is like it, promote it on her book club (hopefully before her show is over) and whamo… A best seller.
I can’t wait to read it myself!
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squawvalleyskip Reply:
April 2nd, 2011 at 12:20 am
Gotta wonder just how many of oprah’s “fans” (or opie herself, for that matter) have a finely enough developed sense of humor to appreciate Jeff’s work. There may be a few, but I’d bet they’re in the minority. That said, she has been known to promote books she actually knows very little about, so maybe it’s worth a shot.
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I just bought my signed copy but there were no “special instructions” I was looking forward to a signed picture of the complete Kay Clan. From Sunny to the translucents. Maybe the “bunker” and the” dormancy platform”… I would pay another $20 for that Jeff…
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jim britton Reply:
April 3rd, 2011 at 5:38 pm
I, too, would pay a premium for a copy of the book if it featured signatures of the principle subjects.
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jim britton Reply:
April 3rd, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Sorry!
Meant principal, not principle.
Gomenasai
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chill Reply:
April 3rd, 2011 at 8:28 pm
Namaste.
.
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I downloaded it for Kindle for my PC the first day the link was on the website. I finished reading it last night. Absolutely hilarious. Exactly what I expected from Mr. Kay. I posted my review at Amazon this morning.
Excellent work!!!!
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My question – (and I have to say I loved the book) Do you think the book was funnier to the people that read the stories about the characters in the book all the time and have quite a bit of history with them. Would people that have never read stuff on this site see as much humor? Not that there wasn’t background on the characters – just that some of the stuff I had in my head in regards to the things I read on here – made the book even funnier. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I did LOVE the book and laughed out loud, I’m just curious. Of course – people that just read the book will probably check this site out and get even more stories of the characters they now know. Of course then, I’ll have to read 600 comments instead of a 100 or so.
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Kimistry Reply:
April 2nd, 2011 at 4:59 pm
I’m going to try that out on an unsuspecting family member as soon as I have the paper copy, and will report in when I have the results
I think , no, newbies will laugh just as hard as initiates.
The writing is so vivid and speaks for itself, I don’t think you need the background at all.
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Terri Reply:
April 3rd, 2011 at 1:19 pm
Thanks Kimistry! I too, think it can stand alone, I just know that I kept thinking of all the other stories and wasn’t sure if that made it funnier to me or not.
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Well, sales are brisk from the WVSR crowd. I hope you get some extras through the army media blitz! You’ll have to keep us up to date on the sales figures Jeff.
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Just ordered my signed copy! Can’t wait for it to get here. Very happy for you, Jeff. I hoist a chilled mug of the golden elixir for you.
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I finally had a Kindle sale at amazon.co.uk today. I don’t know why this excites me, but it does.
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I’d like to take credit for this review, but it’s totally plagarized. I don’t have the gift to write like this, but some of you do. My challenge to you all is to beat this:
“‘What a perfect companion for my afternoon milk bath,” I thought while picking up this little gem on my way home from work. Within the hour I had laughed myself into a neck-deep tomb of butter. My wife came in, sipping her eggnog, and topped me with meringue.”
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Jeff has submitted a sample of his handwriting to amazon and they have an expert forger, Bobby “Bank Note” Jarvis standing by to take the overflow of signed copy orders. So…order up.
****Bobby is at an undiscolsed location so please allow an extra 3 days for shipping.
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The check is in the mail. I hope the traditional payment method doesn’t cause me to be late for the signed copy deadline.
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I went to the barnes n nobles here in Westerville and went to the Nook station, made sure Crossroads Roads was on the screen.. when the actual books hit the store, I’m gonna find em and put them on the front kiosks so people see them as they come in..
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ordered. going to facebook to figure out how to spread the joy…….
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I’ve done my part…
Purchased the ebook version
Reserved an autographed copy
Posted links on Facebook and Twitter
what’s next?
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To paraphrase Chief Brody, when he heard that signed copies of the book were selling faster than anticipated, “You’re gonna need a bigger case of beer.”
A nice problem to have
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The check is in the mail. Is that still okay Mr. Kay??
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Jeff Reply:
April 3rd, 2011 at 12:13 am
Not a problem. Thanks!
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doctorright Reply:
April 3rd, 2011 at 2:27 am
crafted plans 2 send check while still sober want book signed! check e-mail jeff thanks MASSIVE FAIL DOCTORRIGHT drink less go amer aam Amurrka
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Why the PayPal hate? I’ve used it for years and there has never been an issue. Has anyone had problems? I suspect “problem exists between chair and keyboard.”
Totally jealous of you south-of-the-border folks and your quick shipping. Up here, Canada Post has been implementing “improvements” (aka downsizing) that means people now receive their bills/statements so late they are already past due. And UPS doesn’t even have employees in this part of the country – they hire two bums and a truck to deliver your stuff, but never when you are home, so you always have to go out to their depot by the airport to pick it up yourself.
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The Qweezy Mark Reply:
April 3rd, 2011 at 9:33 am
The only problem with PayPal is that it is completely superfluous, as am I.
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WB in OH Reply:
April 3rd, 2011 at 11:01 am
Up until yesterday, I never had a problem with PayPal. I suspected all the hate was just an excuse to get out of buying Jeff a beer every once in awhile.
Then yesterday happens, Jeff sends email, I try to purchase book with phone, PayPal doesn’t like/trust new IP address logging into my account, limits my account, no sale. Come to work this morning, follow PayPal instructions to restore my account. It’s really simple, log-in/change password/answer two new security questions; after completing this little task, it tells me the link expired, I try to do it faster two more times, still nothing. It’s like their fucking with me just to be dicks.
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squawvalleyskip Reply:
April 3rd, 2011 at 12:33 pm
Paypal screwed up my account way back in the days before they were owned by ebay (when I bought and sold stuff on ebay, before the mandated paypal/bidpay ripoff). When I tried to get it staightened out they spent s couple days telling me that wouldn’t work because either I wasn’t who I said I was or I already had an account and they didn’t think I needed another one. I decided I didn’t need to pay them to spend my money or take payments for me anyway. Screw ‘em. Really want them to mess with you sometime? Let them find out you paid for any firearm or ammo related stuff. Your account will be frozen for such un-American activity. They are rabidly anti Second Amendment. Yeah, there are ways around that, but I’d rather not give anyone, especially any outfit as greedy as paypal, any option to hold any of my money. So I don’t.
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WB in OH Reply:
April 3rd, 2011 at 1:57 pm
That reminds me, I need to renew my NRA membership!
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Paypal worked fine for me the other day. Except I never did see the option to leave a message, asking Jeff what to write. But other than that it was fine.
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I’ll just buy a copy through Amazon, drive to PA and stand along I-81 holding it up over my head and hope Jeff pulls over and signs it! Much easier than fixing my PayPal account. Oh, that reminds me, I’ll stand on top of a case of Yuengling which he can have for his trouble, no way he’ll pass up a case of Yuengling.
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I missed your PayPal deadline, so I, too, have put a check in the Mail to you today. Can’t wait to get my copy.
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You also now have a listing on TV Tropes, under “Only Sane Man”.
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