This has been a bad summer, on a number of levels. It’s disgustingly hot and humid every day (every single day without relief), we have no money, and my phone rings all the time, but it’s never the calls I’m waiting for.
Yeah, the summer of 2010 is a real crack-snacker, and I’ll be happy to see it go. But before it’s over, the gods of punishment have one last treat for me. At least I hope it’s the last one…
In a couple of weeks we’re supposed to be receiving visitors, if you know what I mean. Visitors from North Carolina (or is it South Carolina?), for upwards of two weeks. Why so long, you ask? I think I was told, but couldn’t hear because my brain started cutting in and out, and there was a loud whistling sound in my ears. I almost lost consciousness.
I think they’re arriving during the last week of the month, which will put my Beerless July to its biggest test yet. I might have to turn it into the Beerless First Three Weeks of July. Adapt or die, right?
Will somebody please hold me?
My beerless experiment has been surprisingly easy, so far. I haven’t even thought about it much. And I’m reading like I’m entered into some kind of reading contest. I’m ripping through novels like a mama’s boy rips through Cinnabons.
Last night, however, I wanted a cuppa two tree Yuenglings after work. It was an especially suckish week, and I had the urge to crack open a bottle and flop in front of the computer for an hour or so. But I had corn flakes instead, and it wasn’t so bad.
The weird thing? I seem to be missing more update days than normal. Some of it’s been out of my control, but I thought I’d be way more productive this month. However, I feel like some of the recent posts have been better than normal. So, I don’t really know how to measure it.
Speaking of reading, I just picked up this book at Borders. It’s a hardcover, and even with a 33% discount (they’re constantly sending coupons to their mailing list), it cost about seventeen bucks. And that’s a lot, in my opinion. I rarely buy new hardcovers.
But I’ve been told that the author and I share a similar sense of humor. I read his previous book, Home Land, and it was really funny. So, I wanted to get into his latest. And the way I justified it? Seventeen bucks is almost exactly the price of a case of the golden elixir.
I’m very accomplished at the art of justification.
I’m currently in the grip of a powerful Buddy Holly jag. I’m kinda sorta obsessed with Buddy Holly, in case you didn’t know. I think he was bad-ass.
He died when he was only 23, and had already written and recorded some of the greatest songs in rock history. It was a horrible tragedy when his plane went down. ‘Cause his best years were still ahead of him.
I hope there’s some kind of celestial jukebox through which we’ll someday be able to play the many songs Buddy wasn’t able to write during his time on Earf. Ya know?
Anyway, last night I was thinking about what my legacy would’ve been, if I’d lived a Buddy Holly-sized life. He had all his incredible songs, and his status as an international icon, etc. And below I’ve listed what I believe would’ve been my main accomplishments, if I’d died at 23.
· Member of the “20 Club,” which required the drinking of at least 20 (3.2 percent alcohol) cans of beers during the Wednesday evening before Thanksgiving. A very elite group.
· Established a reputation as an above-average rock thrower.
· Could tie a necktie.
· Professional toll collector (retired).
· Drop-out at two universities.
· Had seen the Doobie Bros. in concert twice, possibly three times.
· Had engaged in sexual activities with more than zero women, but less than two.
And that pretty much tells the tale. What would’ve been your legacy if you’d lived a Holly-sized life, and died at 23? Tell us about it in the comments, won’t you?
And I’ll see you guys again next time. Possibly tomorrow, but probably Sunday. Stay tuned.
Have a great day, my friends!