Toney called around 11 this morning, and said she’d be home for lunch. She wanted me to put some hot dogs on the grill, and have ’em ready to go when she got here.
So, doing as I’m told, I went out there and flung a lit match into the gas cloud, and cut open a new package of Ballpark franks. And roughly a quart of some kind of nasty-ass liquid came rolling out, hit the floor, and splashed halfway up my legs.
I’d taken a shower only moments before, and was now doused in wiener water. Simply fantastic.
After I got the dogs going, I went into the kitchen and ripped off two or three paper towels, ran a little water over them, and started scrubbing my shins. One of the Secrets walked in and gave me one of those “What the shit??” looks, and I just grunted at him.
Then I realized: I very rarely wash my shins; they don’t get much attention at all. In fact, I can’t ever remember lathering up my shins or ankles, during my entire life. Is it the most neglected part of the male body? I bet it is.
Anyway, I think I can still smell it. I believe I’m still funking of wiener. Excellent. Perhaps I should just embrace it all, and dab a little Vienna Sausage jelly behind my ears before leaving for work? Yeah, maybe I’ll do it.
I forgot to mention it yesterday, but the t-shirts are finally on their way. Except, of course, for the two that were ordered today.
I even sent one to Clive Bull. On a whim I emailed him, and told him I’d like to give him a shirt. And he actually wrote back. A pleasant surprise.
So, Clive will soon have one of our leaping catfish t-shirts. I like the idea of it, very much. Pass the beer nuts.
If you’d like to order one, here’s yer link. I’ll probably be making another post office run on Friday, so order away!
Metten and I each posted a new Mockable this week, here and here. Check ’em out. And don’t forget about our Friday Guest Mock. Send us your own home-grown venomous rant, and we’ll most likely publish it at the site.
Our email address: mockable [at] gmail dotcom.
First: Is a York Peppermint Patty the most effeminate of all candy bars? What do you think? Also, which one is the manliest? Tell us about it in the comments.
Second: Would you ever eat a flavor of ice cream called Barnyard Gravy? A local shop is offering it, but I can’t bring myself to order it. I’m sorry, but it brings to mind bovine diarrhea. What do you think?
If you were to open an ice cream shop, what kind of novelty Ben and Jerry’s-type flavors would you offer? Anything to do with cow shit? Help us out, won’t you?
And I’ll post a real update tomorrow. I promise.
See ya then.