I hate to complain, but the sixty hour work weeks are starting to take their toll. I’m irritable and have to make a special effort not to scream, “GIT CH’ASS AWAY FROM ME!!” whenever someone approaches my cubicle. And a few days ago I collected a bunch of dirty clothes at home, went into the kitchen, and almost under-armed them into the dishwasher. It’s messing me up, maaan.
Oh well. It’s not like I’m being lowered into a coal mine every day, or picking cotton in the fields of Mississippi or something. Most of the time it’s not physical labor, at all. So I probably should just shut my Mountain Dew intake valve, and quit my bitchin’. Right?
However… if my scrambled brains let me down and I end up taking a dump in the salad spinner, I hope you guys will have my back. Good god.
To follow-up our conversation on Friday about what makes the best-tasting burps, I have a new entry: chicken planks from Long John Silvers. At work on Saturday someone went to LJS on their lunch break, and brought back a shopping bag full of grease. One guy was preparing to toss two untouched chicken planks into the trash, and asked if anyone wanted ‘em.
After nobody immediately stepped to the plate, I seized the moment. And mister, I was enjoying the burps of kings for the remainder of the night. Highly recommended belch-fuel… In fact, I’m currently experiencing burp nostalgia, it was so good.
Speaking of work, have you ever been in a position where you had to evaluate resumes from prospective employees? I never have, not really. I’ve conducted a few interviews, but it’s only been on a fill-in basis. I’ve never really had actual hiring/firing power. Unfortunately.
But if you’ve been there, I’d like to know about some of the craziest things you’ve seen on resumes. I’m updating mine right now, because of an internal opportunity at my current company, and started thinking about resume mistakes. I have a feeling they’re not exactly rare.
At a previous job my boss would occasionally show me some of the applications he received, and we’d have a big laugh at the senders’ expense. I remember one guy, under the heading Special Skills, listed “English.” WTF? And we had a great time with the people who included photographs. Is that expected now? It only serves to trigger inappropriate and highly-unprofessional comments, as far as I can tell.
Another thing I remember: lots of folks listed trashy email addresses such as JimBeamLover, or NoGagReflex69. On a job application!
Do you have any resume hilarity to share? Please use the comments link below. Also, if you’ve ever conducted (or even heard about) any interviews with remarkable dumbasses… We’d like to know about those, as well.
And I realize this is a fairly abbreviated update, but that’s the way it goes sometimes. However, I do have some good news to report… Sunshine and Mumbles are now on the east coast, after having successfully crossed the country on an Amtrak train. Well, half the country, anyway… I’ll tell you more in the near future — it’s already fantastically convoluted.
But it looks like it’s not going to fall through this time, and the whole gang will be at our house for Christmas. So, stay tuned!
Have a great day my friends.
I’ll be back tomorrow.