Highlights, Lowlights, and the Sams We Have Known
Highlights of the weekend: low humidity, Chinese lunch on Saturday (cashew chicken), Manning’s ice cream cones with the fambly, Sam Adams Summer Ale on the deck with Toney (the ale was only OK… but it was beer), Athens, GA: Inside/Out for the first time in 20 years.
Lowlights of the weekend: as soon as I got going on the third draft of the “book” my time was up, lawn mowing, standard low-wattage feeling of not getting enough accomplished.
I think I’m going to take Wednesday off from my job during the coming week, and try to make that lack of accomplishment sensation disappear…
I need to put in some all-day marathon sessions, I really do. I’d go back into the yurt, but school hasn’t started back yet, and the place is undoubtedly overrun by buzzcut hicklets named Dusty.
As I type this our internet connection is down. It’s been unstable for the past few days. It goes down for a few minutes here and there, for no known reason. But this time it’s down like it means it. I think the bed has officially been shit, my friends.
And notice I said “internet connection?” I don’t like when people say their “internet” is down. There’s only one internet. Folks don’t have their own individual internets. Ya know?
Nitpicky, you say? Yeah, well, I’ve heard that one before…
Yesterday I downloaded two obscure gems from the early 1980s, almost forgotten albums by Any Trouble and Urban Heroes. I loved both during a previous bushy-haired lifetime, and now they’ve been captured by my iPod. Slowly but surely I’m replacing every LP I’ve ever owned… Legally where possible.
OK, we’re successfully tapped into the internet again. What the hell, man? This crap is making me purse my lips like a Sunday School teacher.
And I need to get ready for work now. I’m gonna have a Miranda Cosgrove frozen meal, drive 36 miles, immediately ask to have Wednesday off, then turn up the Clive Bull and Jean Shepherd.
Wish me luck in accomplishing my important Sunday tasks.
I’ll leave you now with a simple Question of the Day. I’d like to know if you’ve ever known someone named Sam. That’s it. Use the comments section below to tell us about the Sams you have known, and I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great rest o’ the day!
Filed under: Daily
First?
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YAY!…I know of one Sam, a friend’s little brother. Otherwise, the only Sam I know is Sam Winchester from the WB show Supernatural, and that doesn’t count.
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I’ve known a few Sams in my day. The current one is a close friend of my daughter. He’s pretty laid back. Most of the Sam’s I’ve known have been relatively calm.
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I have a friend whose 6 year old daughter is named Samantha but is known far and wide as Sammy.
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I have a second cousin named Samantha…she goes by Sam. She’s a very pretty British lady that I held when she was once weeks old.
I work with a great guy named Sam. He’s Japanese. Odd name I thought for a Japanese guy. He named his son Samson (Sam’s son) which I thought was kinda cool and a cool name for a little guy.
She who must be feared and obeyed has a thing for Sam Elliot ..does that count?
My mom told me that I had an imaginary duck friend when I was little named Sam. Quack.
Jeff. why Sam?
For a fortress of solitude, what about checking in to a hotel for a night? It’s like a yurt but probably quieter. You could get one with a view…budget hotels are under $70 and usually give you Internet access so your “internet” won’t go down like a drunk cheerleader with daddy issues after the final game of the season.
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d’uh Sam Adam’s ale….such a tard…sigh
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I have a second cousin named Sam. He was born and raised in Myrtle Beach. (We WV-ians call it the Redneck Riviera.) After he grew up, he and his suhmokin’ hot girlfriend moved to the west coast, where he set a surfboard business, and now makes custom surfboards.
http://www.carversurf.com/carver-custom-surfboards.html
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My first top ten?
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All the girls back in high school had a crush on an “all-star” baseball player named Sammy (Sam) Levine.
I know a Filipino/Vietnamese guy who works at a chicken processing plant and a Chinese restaurant (he married one of the servers there) and his name is “Sam”. Not sure why he chose that name, above all others…They have a son together. Named Gaspar.
Then there is Sam, the butcher from the Brady Bunch. (Does that count?)
Sam’s Club.
Son of Sam.
And a bunch of Samanthas called Sam for short…
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Woohoo…I know not a single Sam. Except Sam Merlotte from TrueBlood but that don’t count..Oh and Sam Elliott (YUM!)..
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I know a Sam! Her real name is Juanell (go figure), and she is the second ex-wife of my father’s brother, but I know her… and like her!
I like that “legally where possible.” That is my personal goal as well.
Good luck on your Sunday!
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Jeff,
Check this out –
http://www.weirdexistence.com/so-you-see-the-difference/
Look familiar?
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My name’s Sam. I know me. I also like that screen-grab and how you never reference it in the post. Hilarious.
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I knew Sam the Sham (never cared much for the Pharaohs).
I had a BIL with the same name as the beer.
I have never known a girl named Sam or Samantha.
But I would hold a pretty British lady named Samantha.
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http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/27029/
You might get a commercial first, but funny…
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My father’s friend was named Sam. He was older and somewhat crotchety. When he called he would say “Get your Dad” no hello. To drive him nuts my sister and I would respond. “Hiiiiiiii Saaaaaaaam”
The old guy hated it.
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Sam was my brother in law.
He quit school in the 5th grade and he ran errands for the bookies on the south side of Chicago.
He was a mathematical genius.
He won bets all the time adding big numbers in his head and beating anyone’s calculator.
After he grew up he set the odds for all the games for the bookies everywhere including Las Vegas.
He also made his living playing poker – yeah – even in the annual contest in Las Vegas. He won a couple of times.
Numbers were his game. He could remember every card in the deck.
A memorable genius with no education whatsoever except in the streets.
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My father-in-law is named Sam! He is seriously one of the coolest people I have ever met in my life. Sometimes I forget he’s my wife’s dad. I consider him one of my best friends. In fact, Sam and I are leaving for Mount Rushmore, then off to Rocky Mountain State Park in 2 weeks. Just us, the open road, with the wind in our hair.
Hell yeah! I might even wear my Stetson!
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BTW- I was meaning to ask my fellow reporters who are familiar with the above mentioned areas…Are there any outstanding places, landmarks, we should hit on our man-trip? Any special beers we should look for?
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I had a good friend named Sam, he was a such a big putz. I introduced him to chick at a friends party and he didn’t even want to dance with her. When I had a long journey to go on to return a ring to it’s rightful owner, he wanted to tag along. But he did save me from this crazy guy that kept demanding the ring was his and he did save me from the clutches of a giant spider so I guess he’s not a bad friend. Just wish he didn’t have such big feet.
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Beer?….somebody say beer?….I mentioned Breckenridge Avalanche a day or so ago….YUM!! You’ll find it there. Oh…the Stetson will fit in nicely…but not with sandles and socks.
I’ve always liked Yosemite Sam. Yeah I know he’s not real…”Says who?”… Bet he’d be a hoot to hang with.
Sam Butera and Sam Noto is it for me as far as knowing Sams. I’ve known some Samanthas but I never called the them Sam although others did. I like the name Samantha and at at certain “moments”, saying Sam just seems so wrong…just sayin’.
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This link stuff never works for me but I’ll try it. I’m about 300 miles south of where you boys are headed.
http://rockymountainnationalpark.com/
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I lived on the same floor as a guy named Sam in college. He was one of the weird ones, always making awkward jokes and trying to move into other peoples rooms. We finally got rid of him and promptly got an indian kid named Sanjeet who I never really got to know. I went to high school with a Sam too. She was really pretty, but then lost a lot of weight using the, and I’m quoting her mother here–”Cocaine Diet”. Nothing but cocaine and evian for like 6 months, and she became really thin. She’s married to one of the local punk band leaders here, and he’s kind of a tool too, but hey, she’s off the coke now!
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I knew two sams. One was a chick of “loose morals”, and the other was a guy with red hair. Don’t remember anything else about either one.
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My cousin-in-law is a Sam. He is the tallest person I’ve ever actually met. I think he is 7′ 2″. When we hug hello, my face is in his lower sternum.
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My brother has a friend named Sam and a previous girlfriend was Sam. Her birthday was yesterday. Happy birthday Sam.
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The guy who delivers the pastries to my store is called “Sam,” but I’d bet a week’s pay that it’s short for “Samir” or Samallah” or something.
As a kid, I had a hamster named Sam.
Joe
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Sidney, I think there’s some sort of big assed carving or statue to see in the area…maybe not as famous as touchdown Jesus was but still pretty good I hear. Just ask a local when you’re in the area.
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Yes, he’s coming here Tuesday to check our old computer. Known him for 35 years.
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Chuck you dick,
The Pharaohs, David A. Martin, Jerry Patterson, Ray Stinnett and Butch Gibson on sax, like you just fine and don’t understand why you would say such a hurtful thing. Sam (Domingo “Sam” Samudio) says go fuck yourself.
Just passing on the word.
Best as always,
jtb
OB12
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kenju,
From the flow of the comments, it sounds like Jesus is coming here Tuesday to check your old computer. Upon rereading all the previous comments it looked to me that your reference (“Yes”) was still dangling.
I’ve had a dangling reference for years. It happens to older men and, in tragic cases, younger men.
I hope Jesus follows the 11th commandment and wears a grounding strap.
best,
jtb
OB12
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A friend of mine adopted a little boy from Guatamala, his name is Sam. My grandfather had a chimpanzee named Sam, does that count too?
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Stephanie,
I like the name Sam, but “Gaspar” takes the naming thing to a new plateau. And, as my deconstructionist self, I have to say you made it five times funnier by making it a two word afterthought sentence. As you know, I enjoy your prose. It glows.
best wishes,
jtb
OB12
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I can see that my time here is all used up. I’ve been 86′d from this scene. I just hope my iRenew gets here soon…I don’t feel well at all.
bye for now.
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While I will stipulate that, in recent years, my self-esteem has taken some blows because of not being able to work due to ongoing back problems and surgeries, it exceeds the limits of my imagination to contemplate the sub-basement level of self-worth necessary to appear on the television show of a former model and proclaim an obsession with pooping.
Yes, that was one sentence. I hope Tyra gets a longer one.
jtb
OB12
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I just hope Giada’s cleavage makes a guest appearance tonight on Next Foodnetwork Star.
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Chuck,
If you go away on this summer day
Then you might as well take the sun away
.
I’ll make it right with Sam and the boys. Let them sing to you. Uno, dos…Wan, two, tres, cuatro…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHF558u6Q_8
jtb
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Giada’s cleavage has a recipe for Green Eggs and Capricolo.
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I knew a Sam in high school. He was a very quiet kid but always went after the girls who already had boyfriends. I think he did it just to start fights, he usually dumped the girls when it all calmed down.
Then I vaguely knew a Sam in college, who married a girl I hung out with. I haven’t seen either one in years.
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That was possibly the lamest report I’ve given. Sorry, no Sam drama in my life.
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I have a friend who is married to a Sam. My mom had a brother named Sam who died before I was born. I went to school with loads of Sams and my son’s school was just lousy with Sams (most born around 1995 – 1998). It’s a very popular name.
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2 Sams, 1 Cousin, 1 From Portugal
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@ jtb: Glad I could make you laugh. I figured that Gaspar was probably a better choice than, say, Melchior. Or Balthazar.
There goes that two word sentence again.
I crack me up…
To all: WHY isn’t anyone naming their kids those cool, former president’s names like…Rutherford. Or Ulysses. Or Quincy…Millard, Abraham, Chester, Grover, Woodrow, Calvin, Herbert?
Barack.
Does anyone on here know anyone with any of THOSE names??? Please, do share.
I mean, honestly…were there just TONS of kids in schools back in those days with these names? Like the schools are rotten with Brittanys and Matts these days.
No offense to any Brittanies or Mattsuses…
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Or…or…or…VICE PRESIDENTS names…as a follow up to the previous! (Forgive me, I got all excited…)
Elbridge
Hannibal (!) *gulp*
(Get it…?)
Schuyler
Alben
Lyndon
Hubert
Spiro
Walter
Dick
I said Dick.
Going to get someone…*ahem*…I mean, someTHING to eat…
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I grew up on trhe coast of Washington state. Sam “The Crab Man” used to come by the house every week or so selling fresh dungeness crab. I saw him when I was home a few years back. He was still selling crab. Whole crab were going for five bucks a piece (they’re about twenty bucks in a store).
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-dto…Breckenridge Avalanche beer it is! Thank you!
Sam and I just spoke. We are going to try and make it from Evansville, IN., to Mitchell, SD. the first leg,, then hit Rushmore, Devil’s Tower, etc,. After that we head south to the beautiful Rockies. After that it’s…well..who in the hell knows? I may kidnap him. Ransom letter to wife:
I have your dad. I love you. Please meet us out West or I will…get him drunk.
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I do not like green eggs and ham.
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Indirectly worked with a Sam who by everyone’s attesting was a knob.
I’m in love with Samuel Adams.
That’s all I have.
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Harpo,
I know you’ve spent some time in BC. Were you in the Vancouver area in the early ’90s when the band Cub was grrrrlin’ out western Canada with their wonderful punk rock? Have I asked you this before? I’m probably not the only American to own all of Cub’s albums, nor the only American male sexagenerian to do so, but it can’t be a huge club. The Cub Club.
I didn’t get turned on to the band until just before they broke up, and never had a chance to see them perform. It would be cool to talk with someone who has done so. I know there are 33M Canadians and that you don’t all know each other, but maybe you ran into them. Did you? Are you familiar with their work? Do you mine for coal or diamonds and how bright is your headlamp? That last question wasn’t about Cub.
best as always,
jtb
OB12
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I think the only Sam I know was a salesman. Nuff said. Unless you count Sam-I-Am.
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wilwu…
I’m from, and still in, Tacoma. Where did you grow up? I spent a lot of time on the north coast when I was a little shaver. As crappy as the weather is, it’s one of the most beautiful places I’ve seen. I’ve hiked the Ozette triangle, picnicked at Point Grenville, and took my first step at Rod’s Cabins, between Ocean City and Copalis. So were you really on the coast?
best…
jtb
OB12
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Amigos,
I’m not particularly fond of heights, and this one minute clip blew me away:
http://www.betterthancleavage.com/internetfun/holy-mother
jtb
OB12
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jtb…
One of those guys is Sam al Calamari, a well known ladderist from Lisbon, a well know safe haven for ladderists who prey on and train out of work painters and roofers.
Our government has no plans and no ideas how to stop them. The TSA is helpless until they can get full ladder-scanners in place at major airports around the globe.
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But actually…
Sweet Sainted Mother of Rapunzel…talk about getting up a building. This has to be Navy Seal stuff. (the bad guys probably know this stuff too). A swarm of these guys could go anywhere quick and quiet… with mediveal technology!! Amazing. A ladder! Too bad they weren’t around for the Munich Olympics. They’d have been on that balcony in no time. Come up from the sides and…plink..plink.
Headed to Toas in the late afternoon. There’s an organic parsley farm I want to check out while I’m there. I think it’s run by a girl named Samantha.
…later folks
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Ive known two people name “Sam”, one pretty cool dude, and one ultra-hot indian (feather) chick who never wore pants with back pockets.
I have had my own intranet go dow. But nobody even realizes those types of things still exist.
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Whoever that dude in the bunker cam is, he’s awesome.
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Good Morning Surf Reporters…..
I know several Sams. Some are good guys. A few are raging dickheads.
I’m surprised the Surf Report’s very own Son of Sam hasn’t chimed in.
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Knew a Sam in Middle School, Sam Hallman. If I remember correctly, his dad owned the local hardware store — one of those old-time stores, the type that went out of business when Home Depot came to town (though I think in reality this one went out of business long before Home Depot came — I think the Sears a couple of miles down the road actually did this store in, probably in the mid ’80s.)
That’s the only Sam I can think of, in 49 years of life. There must have been others, though.
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The ‘Further Evidence’ link actually made me look away.
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And, yes, Giada’s cleavage made a grand appearance last night. I did not look away.
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My sister and I call each other “Sam” or “Sammy” and for the life of me, I can’t remember how this originated.
There’s also Sammy Sosa. But I don’t know him.
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I overheard my boyfriend Sam (7th grade) tell another boy that he breaking up with me because I wouldn’t french kiss him so I beat him to the punch and dumped him. Ah – young love.
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Whaddya mean all Canadians don’t know each other? That’s just crazy talk!
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I have a good buddy named Sam who lives in Dunbar. Jeff, I think you and Bill both know him.
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Firstly, I met a Sam several months back and have him in my head as “Samwise Gamgee.” Secondly, why did you choose Cosgrove as your Miranda Cosgrove meal? I am curious because Cosgrove is a rather…obscure name. And if you know a Cosgrove my mind will be blown.
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