Barely Missed Putts: footage of golf balls barely missing the hole, 24 hours a day.
Drunk People Talking About Politics, Love, and the Reasons Why Everything Is Fucked and Will Always Be Fucked
The Choking Channel: ‘round the clock video of people choking on food.
Famous People Underwater
Local Weather Forecasts of the Late 1980s
Assembly Lines of the Orient
The Front Door: non-stop footage of fat guys with oversized sideburns and fedoras, sometimes capes, entering and leaving video game stores.
The Too Soon Channel: a broadcast home for people who like to make jokes about tragedies shortly after they occur.
Retail Pep Talks: Eavesdrop as retail managers fire up their crews.
Cubicle Workers Airing Their Grievances
Racist Diatribes with the Greatest Generation
Newscasters Rolling Their Rs
Pixilated Nudity and Ragtime: Heavily pixilated nude scenes from movies, accompanied by ragtime music.
Admittedly, a few of those might work better as a half-hour weekly program, but I’m pushing for the full network treatment. Hell, why not?
In the comments section, please add to the list. We can do much better than a measly 15 new television channels. Right?!
And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great day!