Here Are 15 of My Ideas for New Cable Channels. Care to Add to the List?

gilbert-gottfriedBarely Missed Putts:  footage of golf balls barely missing the hole, 24 hours a day.

Drunk People Talking About Politics, Love, and the Reasons Why Everything Is Fucked and Will Always Be Fucked

The Choking Channel: ‘round the clock video of people choking on food.

Famous People Underwater

Local Weather Forecasts of the Late 1980s

Assembly Lines of the Orient

African-American Sailing

The Front Door:  non-stop footage of fat guys with oversized sideburns and fedoras, sometimes capes, entering and leaving video game stores.

The Too Soon Channel:  a broadcast home for people who like to make jokes about tragedies shortly after they occur.

Retail Pep Talks: Eavesdrop as retail managers fire up their crews.


Cubicle Workers Airing Their Grievances

Racist Diatribes with the Greatest Generation

Newscasters Rolling Their Rs

Pixilated Nudity and Ragtime:  Heavily pixilated nude scenes from movies, accompanied by ragtime music.

Admittedly, a few of those might work better as a half-hour weekly program, but I’m pushing for the full network treatment.  Hell, why not?

In the comments section, please add to the list.  We can do much better than a measly 15 new television channels.  Right?!

And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.

Have a great day!

Now playing in the bunker
Try Dropbox! It’s free and fantastic.

Read the Novel!

Paperback and Kindle

So, who is this guy?

Thanks for stopping by! My name is Jeff Kay, I was born while JFK was president, and it's all very embarrassing and corny. Today I'm a suburban husband and father, who is sometimes accused of being a bit tightly-wound. The West Virginia Surf Report! is my creative outlet, and insurance policy against completely losing my shit. I hope you'll stick around and participate in the lively community of geniuses and curmudgeons who hang out here every day. I love a full 87% of them! And while you're at it, please follow me at Twitter and Facebook.

Become a Surf Report VIP!

Join the mailing list and stay up to date on the latest Surf Report shenanigans. Once subscribed, you will also be granted access to occasional super-secret updates the more casual readers will never see.

Sign up today and receive a free gift! More info here.


Automatic Updates

There are two easy ways to receive Jeff's updates automatically, as if by voodoo black magic...