Sunshine and Mumbles are going home today, and you’ll get no argument from me. It’s been a challenge… Sunny has taken her game to a whole new level, and we’ve all just about had enough. Even the boys, who generally go with the flow, are about to snap.
Yesterday I got out of bed, after working the night before, and Sunshine was laid-out in her lace sleeping gloves and ceremonial four blankets (or whatever), taking her first nap of the day. At ten o’clock in the morning… So, I had to keep quiet, and not crank my stereo as I normally do. This irritates me, because I do things in a structured way, and my Monday was already getting off on the wrong foot.
But whatever. It’s best when she’s asleep, and not talking. I should learn to count my blessings… I had a cup of coffee with Mumbles, to be sociable, and went to the bunker. She was in the next room snoozing, and I was just sitting there in complete silence. Every computer keystroke sounded like a firecracker going off.
Then she suddenly woke up. “OH!” she yelled, and began thrashing around. Then: “Oh my god… Ohhh!!” She’s always moaning in agony for some reason, and I didn’t bother to check on her. Because those are just the normal sounds of a semi-conscious Sunshine.
A few minutes later Mumbles came into the room, and Sunny started ripping him a new one, about something or other. And she never stopped complaining and belittling and yelling for the rest of the day. The woman was fresh from a nap and seething with anger. She needs a good long stay at the Betty Ford Clinic (BFC!) and/or a state mental hospital.
Eventually I walked through there to get another cup of coffee, and she said (in a sarcastic tone), “My stuff isn’t blocking your closet door anymore, so you don’t have to worry.”
I hadn’t said anything to her, not even “good morning.” But I answered “OK” to this, and kept walking. Sheesh. Full access to a closet door was FAR down my list of irritations.
When I returned she was holding up a large sheet of denim, and said to Mumbles, “I guess I’ll just leave these jeans here. I can’t wear them, and don’t have any room in my suitcase to take them back with me. I wasn’t allowed to try them on. Oh no. When you go shopping with Toney, you’re not allowed to take your time. You’ve got to keep moving. HEAVEN FORBID THAT SOMEONE TAKES THEIR TIME!”
I just walked past her without saying anything, and went back into my office.
When Toney got home from work, Sunny reportedly began bitching and said there wasn’t anything to eat for lunch. Toney had called and told them the fridge was full of sandwich stuff, there were sliced tomatoes and lettuce and onions, and the whole nine yards. She’d even bought a couple of different kinds of fancy-ass breads, and made a pasta salad.
When Toney reminded her of this, Sunny just rolled her eyes and said, “Boy, you really went all-out with that, didn’t you? Lunch meat!”
So, you can see why I’m ready for them to go. The woman has always been difficult, but now she’s also openly hostile. I do a pretty good job of ignoring her little comments, but S&M’s general presence is throwing my life into disarray. And Toney has had it.
It’s the last day, though. And then we’ll be free!
I hope everyone had a great holiday. I worked on New Years Eve until 9 pm, came home and watched four or five episodes of The Office while drinking beer, saw the ball drop, and called it a night. Then I worked a full shift on New Years Day. Oh yeah, I’m nothing if not wild.
But I was glad to see 2010 end. On account of the sucking… It was a bad year, my friends. 2010 can go fuck itself.
The new year is going to be interesting, at the very least. I am planning (among other things) to launch a new site about creativity and writing, begin writing a non-fiction book, and release the novel via my own imprint. That’s right, my own publishing company — legally and formally. I’ll have more details in the near future.
Before I’d even written the first sentence of the novel, I was told by my agent that it would VERY difficult to sell. Not because of the writing or the plotting or the humor… No, because publishers rarely take a chance on a new author who writes comic novels. Even during the best of times. And since the industry is hurting, it would be next to impossible to sell.
So, what did I do? I went ahead and wrote it anyway. And since it’s been completed, two additional agents have read it, and given me the same bad news. Both had good things to say about the book itself, especially one of them, but the current climate in the publishing industry makes it very difficult.
So, I’m doing it myself. I’ll have more information in the near future, mostly at the new site, but it’s going to be done the right way. I’m not just going to slap a cover on a Word document and proclaim it a book. I’ll tell you about it, as it happens.
In the meantime, if any of you work as an editor, or are an English teacher or anything along those lines, I’d love to talk with you about possibly doing a proofread of the manuscript, for grammar and spelling. I’d like to have one or two people, who work with language on a daily basis, give it a quick read. Please drop me an email, if you’re interested in doing something like that. I can pay you in a signed copy of the finished book, and a t-shirt. Let me know.
I will also need to have a cover created, but we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it. I’m hoping to have the book available at Amazon, the Kindle store, NookBooks, Apple’s iBooks, etc. in April. So, stay tuned.
I’m sorry this site sat dormant for so many days. I was getting sick of seeing that sandwich-eater, and I’m sure some of you were, as well. But the “guests” just left! Oh yeah. Now we can get this party started.
As for a Question, I’d like get your letter grade for the year 2010. I’m going with a D, only because nobody died and nobody got seriously ill, or anything like that. It felt like an F, but it could’ve been much worse. I know this… so I’m going with a D.
What about you? Please tell us about it in the comments.
And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great day!