Have You Ever Won a Prize?

I’m not very lucky when it comes to random drawings, and lotteries, and that sort of thing.  But some people seem to have been conceived under a lucky star.  A guy at my job, for instance, is always winning substantial amounts of money — including a hundred grand from a scratch-off lottery ticket.

One hundred thousand dollars!

I play the Powerball whenever I think about it (you can’t win if you’re not in), but it’s inconsistent at best.  When I do play, it’s never for more than three dollars.  Usually it’s two.

And I think I won seven dollars once.  That was my big lottery score to date, and it happened many years ago.  Almost always, I get no correct numbers.  Not a single one.  And I think there should be a small prize for that accomplishment.  Ya know?

In my whole life, the biggest prize I’ve ever won was a 105-second “record run” at Budget Tapes & Records, in Charleston (Kanawha City), WV.

Apparently I’d entered the contest by scribbling my name and telephone number on a slip of paper, and stuffing it into a box inside the store.  Afterward I didn’t even remember doing it.  But whatever.

I was working at the Dunbar Toll Bridge at the time, and was listening to a rock radio station there one night:  FM105.  Between a Journey rock-block and something by George “Thoroughly-good” the owner of Budget was brought into the studio.

The DJ said they were going to draw a name at random, from all entrants, and that person would get to run around the record store for 105 seconds, and gather as many albums as they could get their booger-hooks on.

I wasn’t really paying close attention, until I heard one of them say, “And the winner is… Jeff Kay of Dunbar!”  I nearly dropped a plate.

I had 105 seconds (always with the 105) to call and claim my prize, and I did.  They put me on the air, and both were snickering when I told them I was calling from the Dunbar Toll Bridge.  What the hell, man?

After I hung up, some guy drove up to my boof, said, “Hey, I just heard you on the radio, faggot!”  and flung a quarter past my left eye.  Yes, the community support was already starting to emerge…

On the day of the “run” there were dozens of spectators there (including the Evil Twin!), as well as news media.  Someone was filming it for one of the TV news stations, and little beads of sweat were rolling down the middle of my back.

They had all sorts of rules and regulations, designed to cramp your style, but I ended up with 96 albums that I could keep.  At least that many were taken away, because of the rules.  For instance, I could only have up to three albums by any one artist.  So, if I grabbed the whole Rolling Stones section, they’d take away all but three.  That kind of thing…

But the owner of the store was cool, and told me I could take whatever I wanted from the 96.  And if there were some I didn’t care for, he’d just let me trade ’em.  Pretty sweet, huh?

My brother had his big $700 water-driven VCR by that point, and he recorded the 11 o’clock news — hoping I’d make an appearance.  They did a short piece on the record run, and I was shown bouncing around the store, on sped-up film.  While this was happening, some kind of Charlie Chaplin music was playing, and I looked like a complete and utter douche.

And this doesn’t really have anything to do with today’s topic, but one of the other stories from that night’s news was a report on a mine disaster, in Kentucky (I think).

During it, an obese woman was shown in profile, and she suddenly started screaming, “Noooo!  NOOOOO!!” and fell backwards out of the frame. Then, and this was the best part, her cigarette flew up, did two rotations in the middle of the screen, and disappeared.

My brother and I kept rewinding the tape, and watching that scene over and over.  We couldn’t stop laughing, and our mother just shook her head in deep, deep disappointment.  Heh.

Supposedly he still has all his tapes from those days, and it would be the biggest prize of all, if he could unearth that record run news broadcast.

Anyway, have you ever won a significant prize of some sort?  Tell us about it, won’t you?  And if you haven’t been lucky yourself, do you know someone who won a car, or a big lottery jackpot, or appeared on a game show, or that kind of thing?  We need to know.

And I’m going to go to work now — another strange night, my friends.

See ya tomorrow!

Now playing in the bunker

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So, who is this guy?

Thanks for stopping by! My name is Jeff Kay, I was born while JFK was president, and it's all very embarrassing and corny. Today I'm a suburban husband and father, who is sometimes accused of being a bit tightly-wound. The West Virginia Surf Report! is my creative outlet, and insurance policy against completely losing my shit. I hope you'll stick around and participate in the lively community of geniuses and curmudgeons who hang out here every day. I love a full 87% of them! And while you're at it, please follow me at Twitter and Facebook.

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