Have you ever successfully altered some major part of your lifestyle? I mean, on purpose. I’m not talking about some illness that forced it, or a job loss, or something like that. I’m curious if you’ve ever set out to make some fundamental change, and was able to pull it off.
I was in Burger King on Saturday, with our boys, and a couple with two young kids was sitting near us. The little noisemakers were high-maintenance, squirmy, and making noise. Nothing too outrageous, just normal little kid behavior.
Then I looked at our guys, and the oldest one, who is about six feet tall now, was continuously texting some girl somewhere, and the younger boy was wearing an ironic Dr. Seuss Green Eggs and Ham shirt. Both communicate, largely, via a series of grunts and exasperated facial expressions.
I looked back at the youngsters at the nearby table, and they were chattering and bouncing up and down knocking over cups of soda…
And I know this is an old person thing to say, but it feels like our kids were that age, just a couple of years ago. It seems like time is hyper-accelerated, and things are happening at an impossible rate of speed. And I can’t have that.
I started having some kind of mini-midlife crisis. I’m 47 years old, and in twenty years I’ll be 67. Roughly the same age as my parents. They’re still in good shape, going strong, but they… you know, talk about prescriptions and tomato plants, and are completely baffled by a DVD player.
Yeah, I know. Twenty years is a long time. But not anymore. Sure, when I was in college it seemed like forever, because it was my entire lifespan at that point. But nowadays a couple of years click by while I’m out mowing the lawn. Which is part of the reason I don’t do it as often as I should…
I fear I’ll be playing Sudoku and hitting the early bird specials before I know what happened. And I have a lot of stuff I still need to do before then. Stupid mortality… it’s starting to bum me out.
I realize that 67 isn’t all that old anymore. It used to be, but not now. And that’s fine, but I don’t exactly lead a healthy lifestyle. I don’t get enough sleep, don’t exercise much, eat my own body weight in fast food every month or so, and drink more beer than is advisable. I might not even make it to Sudoku.
And that leads me back to the first paragraph. Have you ever set out to make a fundamental change in your life, and actually pulled it off? I’ve made several half-hearted attempts, and always said fukkit within two weeks.
A few years ago, for instance, I decided to go on some idiotic diet. It was one of the fad diets, possibly South Beach or whatever that thing is called. And within a couple of days I wanted to go out in the garage and hang myself. I had salad coming out of my ass, both figuratively and literally, and every meal was a demoralizing affair.
Toney was cheering me on, but about ten days into it I told her I wasn’t doing it anymore. They could ram their retarded diet, deep and on a slant.
But I’m going to try it again. Not the Cocoa Beach Diet, or whatever, but a change in lifestyle. A temporary change, to see what happens. That temporary part is important, I think, because it eliminates terrifying thoughts like… “I’ll never taste a Stone IPA, ever again!”
Shit! I just had a full-body shiver.
So, for the month of July I’m going to try to give up beer, eat a little better (nothing overly crazy, though), read more, take a walk every day, drink more water, and (this is a biggie) get more sleep. Nothing too earth-shattering, except for the beer. But we’re only talking about July here.
I want to see what happens with my mood and mental outlook, and how it affects me physically. Also, I’ll be interested to see if I get more work done. Because that’s a big issue for me, during these hyper-accelerated times. I need to get shit done.
And now it’s your turn. Have you ever attempted a major lifestyle change? How’d it go? Tell us about it in the comments; I need to hear your stories. You know, on account of my Burger King crisis, and whatnot.
See you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great day!
Now playing in the bunker
A decade and a half ago I successfully reduced the importation of distilled spirits from Kentucky to my own state of Washington. Subsequently, Boeing left the state, which caused an economic dip nearly as big.
jtb
1st?
-ish!!
I was painfully shy growing up. When I entered high school I realized that if I was unable to talk to girls, I would not be able to date them. I set out on a course to make myself very social. I succeeded and to this day (I’m 28 now) I can carry on a great conversation with a complete stranger and actually do public speaking for a living.
I’ve been a little concerned about going for the early-bird as well. My dad certainly joined the “eat at 4:30 club” when he hit 70 or so.
But for me, it’s just not gonna happen. I’ve never been early for anything in my life, and I intended to just keep getting later and later. Fuck the early-bird.
jtb
I gave up drinking over 20 years ago. After I got all the alcohol leeched out of my system I realized what a bunch of assholes all my drinking friends were. I’m sure I was the biggest one of the bunch. Also gave up those little black capsules…you know the ones that make you want to rotate your tires at 2 a.m. or talk to people you don’t even like.
I tried the Atkins thing and lost 14 pounds in 10 days and then a Krispy Kreme front moved in and that was that.
I gave up fast food, take-out food (Chinese and pizza), and sodas. I also avoid chain restaurants. It wasn’t that hard, and it made a big difference. I try to either cook all my own food, or go to an independent restaurant. Oh, and Chick-fil-A is exempt. I still eat that sometimes.
Did the south beach diet long enough to shed 50 pounds. But as I transitioned into phase 3, which means you’re at your desired weight I treated myself to some things I missed and the next thing you know I just spiraled out of control.
July you say? Maybe I’ll join you.
This might indicate a problem but I could NEVER give up beer for a month.
I tried not jacking off for two weeks once when I was a kid.
Good-luck, Jeff. July is a tough time to give-up beer. I’m trying to limit my intake, but I’m not going to stop entirely. I live in Portland, OR and I love the local stuff to much.
BTW, I’m loving The Gaslight Anthem. Thanks for the recommendation.
Wow give up beer??? I don’t know if i could do that. Yeah sure for a month probably wouldn’t be that bad but could you give it up forever? I quit smoking three years ago. That was hard but it was easier than any other time I tried because I actually wanted to quit. You know you say you want to quit but you don’t actually mean it unless you do.
A month without beer would feel like forever to me. I do need to make a serious effort to quit the butts. This has been in the back of mind always, but moved to the front of my smoky head innards this morning when I paid $14.45 for 2 damn packs.
$14.45?!? You live in NY city?
I gave up smoking years ago and only fell off the wagon once, and even that was ages ago. I don’t miss it a bit now.
Zoe, et al,
I found myself standing in front of our county courthouse last week (some bullshit about violations of the Sullivan Act AND the Mann Act); there are an inordinate number of smokers who don’t have smokes going in and out of court. By the time my ride arrived, I realized that I had given away about six bucks worth of cigarettes. My fine might exceed that, but dammit, she said she was unarmed and 21.
Yeah, I gotta quit everything.
jtb
jtb
I stopped smoking cigarettes several years ago when I was up to almost 3 packs a day and coughing up blood. This feat was made more difficult by the fact that I work at a tobacconist. But I’m glad I stopped, and for the most part don’t miss them.
Of course I smoke cigars and pipes so that could be part of it. You don’t inhale either of those so it doesn’t affect your body the same way. Still not exactly the most healthy thing to do sure, but neither is beer or cheesecake.
July….. Hmmm…..
Heck, I might join you and WB also, Jeff.
Hell, you could be a post modern Richard Simmons of the smart ass set.
That’s WAY TOO MANY things to try and change at once. You’ll just get frustrated and quit.
Pick maybe one or two and try and stick with them. If you like it, add more later.
None of them are a huge undertaking, Celery. Except the one involving beer. The others won’t be a big deal. They’ll just fill the void, a bit.
I quit my entire life about 12 years ago, and just moved away from it. Best move I ever made. I basically needed to remove myself from everything I found to be safe and comfortable and reassess what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be. Then I made that happen.
Also, after smoking for around 20 years, I quit a little over 8 years ago. I don’t miss them even one tiny bit.
It looks like I picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue, however….
Well, the Hubby and I are going to start Nutrisystem so we may join you, Jeff, for July. We each have to lose the weight of a toddler (40 lbs.) and hopefully we’ll continue with the portion control after the 5 weeks. Tough to do when the Hubby loves my homecooking.
We don’t eat out much but the beer intake could be taken down a notch. And adding that damn excercise stuff. Sheesh!
BTW 20!!
When i found out my first born was on the way i decided i didn’t want to be another fat dad at the park so i gave up alcohol and started watching my calories like a hawk for the next 9 months, losing 50lbs in the process. Now i need a new wardrobe and have started drinking beer again if it fits in my daily calories. now i’m just trying to maintain.
I have given up many things for long periods of time.
gave up dating and sex for 4 years once. HAve to say that was the worst thing to do wihtout allthough after starting to date again i found myself keenly aware of why i stopped.
gave up smoking several times all for years at a time and always start again.
got really fit once lasted for 3 or 4 years went to the gym 6 days a week. haven’t worked out in 5 months.
gave up boooze and all things of that nature for about 6 years.
I am now happily a fat ass in a relationship who has sex outside marriage as often as possible i am a booze hound who smokes cigarettes and eats like crap. simply excellent.
I started hitting the gym about two years ago. I did drop out for about two months a little while back, but have been pretty steady at it since. This may be the thing to make me give up smoking…
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…..
Sorry I’ve been absent and remiss in my Reporting duties.
I’m just so fucking lazy. Do they make anti-lazy pills?
I gave up giving a crap about anything – so far so good. It’s the one change for which I haven’t fallen off the wagon (yet).
I wouldn’t go cold turkey (never got that phrase) but rather start by just cutting back or limiting yourself. Start small and build on your “success”.
I think pretty much everyone who makes a life altering decision by choice would tell you they slipped…and a few examples above. Even the ones that HAD a reason to stop a bad habit (oh I don’t know, say, maybe COUGHING UP BLOOD -geez Matt, hope you feel a lot better now) have had a hard time keeping with it. But again in Matt’s example, he cut back and changed the nicotine delivery system to something not as damaging. That’s a step so he’ll probably be more successful.
keep in mind this is a guy talking with a perfect BMI if I was 8 feet tall. And I had left over chicken wings for breakfast… ok, shutting up now.
Old joke alert – quitting smoking is easy – I do it every year.
Now, as far as the early bird dinner. I see nothing wrong with it – it allows you to slip in another full meal before bedtime.
Jeff-
July is a terrible time to quit drinking beer. You’ve got the 4th with the attendant food foolishness and no frrrosty beverages to wash it down. It’s also hotter that Mohammed’s butt crack and you shouldn’t be without all the essential vitamins and amino acids that beer provides.
Just sayin’…
I have changed so many times that I may be a lifestyle chameleon.
I gave up drinking a long time ago. I was taking meds that didn’t go with booze. I was also married to an alcoholic Brit. When I got rid of him, I magically no longer needed the meds. So, out to celebrate and drink I went. All of a sudden, I no longer liked the way booze made me feel. I didn’t care much for the taste. And the coup de grace to my drinking was when a friend bought a round of Jager shots and it was all I could do to vomit it back into my glass. Some strange drunk sitting near us, grabbed that glass like it was full of liquid gold, said, “Ya ain’t gonna let good alcohol go to waste are you,” and downed the shot of Jagervomit. Pretty much did it for me.
When I moved to Florida, I went from being a know-it-when-you-see-me punk to learning that one needed to blend to survive. Really, there’s no money to be made in the pennies that strangers pitched at my feet when I went to the grocers. I blended. It was alright. Boring, but alright.
On the diet thing, I’ve been doing well. Believe it or not, watching your portions, watching what you eat, and doing exercise works. It works slowly. Then, one day you’ll put on a pair of pants only to find that they now drop to the floor without a belt. It spurs you on. If you want some tips on healthier easy to reach snacks and stuff, give me a shout. I hate to do a blog in a comment.
Pick a good month mi2tall and I’ll find a reason to drink beer. Just sayin’…
JEFF JEFF JEFF!!!
LISTEN!
If your liver-lottery numbers are good, then DON’T GIVE UP THE BEER!
It is the friggin fast food that is the taker of lives. Replace the FF with home made brown bagish table fare.
When I quit smoking after 32 years of the ridiculous habit, I suffered from ass-baloonery and still have to be aware of when I am just eating for something to do.
The walking is a great idea as well.
Fast food is crap and if you can get yourself comfortable in the kitchen making your own lunch you might find as I did, that cooking is a pretty cool hobby. I’d venture a bet that it would also prove to be a great source for literary mayhem.
Joe Perry – Aerosmith …
Steven [Tyler] and I were talking last year and he said, “You know, we’ve got, like, 20 more summers left.”
You know, you could drink water while walking and start your nap with a book… combine the best all of your suggestions. Then, reward yourself with a beer only after you mow Andy’s turd field to combine the reduced beer and taking care of your fricken lawn more often.
Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind.
I gave up cable TV 5-1/2 years ago. I built a boat from scratch with all the spare time I had. Don’t miss that f’in boob tube at all. The rare times I watch it at a friend’s or relative’s house I realize that nothing has changed on it at all, except more annoying commercials. I’ll never pay a dime for cable television ever again in my life. Now downloading HBO or Showtime mini-series is a whole other matter. Netflix “watch now” intervenes whenever there’s a lapse in my senses and I need a 2 hour break from life.
and sometimes you just need the right motivation…
http://verydemotivational.com/2010/06/21/motivation/
Back in my mid 30’s I had went through a mid-life crisis of some sort. I hated my job and where it was going (no where). I wanted to try to succeed at owing my own antique shop. So I figured I would need to work around that to help bring in money while it got off the ground.
Went to Pittsburgh Beauty Academy for my Esthetician license (skin care) at night while I worked full time days. Long story short…I had my store for 4 years while working for at a spa. Loved it. Then my business partner (then..best friend) lost interest and literally just left. She stuck me with thousands in debt and all the clean up while closing the shop.
So now my life has gone full circle as I am right back at working for another doctor, dead end, and incredibly board. Still in antiques but in a co-op where I just pay a small rent. My new venture is my new website I just put up about a month ago. I will never stop trying to do what I love full time.
Sitting in this office everyday with the walls closing in on me…asking…”is this all there is??”
On another note…I loved the South Beach Diet as it is healthier than most and not that bad to live with. The problem is that you cannot deprive yourself of something you love as the day will come when you will crack and fall off the wagon never to get back up. Moderation. After the Phase I of the diet or the first two weeks, give yourself ONE day a week to eat/drink what you want. Treat yourself and you will maintain the success your hard work.
That’s good advice from bikerchick. Having one day a week where you can have a few beers and eat a giant cheeseburger you grill at home, is a good way to stick to it for the rest of the week.
As for the lifestyle changes, I am having my thyroid cut out, then I’m going to drop the 20 odd pounds that have found their way to parts that didn’t need anymore flesh.
I already walk but read somewhere that an active sex life can burn calories and helps make you feel better. Of course I’m still madly in love with my husband and think he’s the hottest man alive, so having sex with him every day would be a lifestyle change I could live with!
If you see me in a few months and I’ve dropped a little weight and can’t stop smiling, you’ll know I got him to go along with my plan!
“Both communicate, largely, via a series of grunts and exasperated facial expressions.”
Sounds like they have the caveman gene, I think they need less meat and more tofu!!! LMAO
I have too much tater salad left over from Fathers Day to start back on the SB diet this week…maybe next week.
Watching those kids grow up before your very eyes will knock the hell outta you, won’t it? You can do this. And I think I’m with you. Yeah, I am. I really am.
Yay me.
Now please don’t let me turn into one of those studies in irony by getting hit by a truck on my daily walk . . .
In December of 2006, I started a serious life change. I decided to finish my college degree after some 30 years of putzing around. Yesterday, I turned in my final term papers and am awaiting my grades. Last year before my knee surgery, I went into hyper diet mode and lost about 40lbs before holidays caught up with me and I fell back into my old habits. Pass the beer nuts please!!!
Count me among the “I’m with you, Jeff” bunch. I already had plans to start today (Father’s Day being a good milestone for a last hurrah) but I plan to get off the path on the 4th of July for a few beers. I think it’s mandatory. But it’s back on the diet/exercise/cut out the booze and beer plan on the 5th.
If quite a few of the Reporters participate in Jeff’s “experiment”, it’ll be interesting to see what total poundage is lost. Perhaps the group could wipe the equivalent of a good-sized kindergarten class off of the face of the earth–at least until bourbon season.
I decided a few months ago to try to make it a month without drinking (as a result of another “blackout event” and my car somehow ending up filled with sand, and me no recollection whatsoever). I succeeded, but my awesome neighborhood bar went out of business. Now I have nowhere within walking distance to drink.
It was a stupid idea.
During the final year of my college days I decided to cut out most junk food. I was starting to pack on the pounds and wasn’t pleased with it at all. However I didn’t just cut them out completely, I put down some ground rules that I still go by today. For instance, at a party or something, I’ll have a snack on whats there. If for some reason I have exhausted my lunch bucket of real food and need to grab something quick, then I MIGHT opt for the bag of chips to tide me over. Essentially, casual snacking on bad/fatty foods was stopped. In general now, I try and stick to eating reasonable foods and staying away from pre-prepared stuff.
Three months ago I stopped drinking brandy. I’ve noticed the pants have gotten looser just from doing that alone as I have not altered anything else.
Like everybody else, your decision to stop drinking beer has me concerned, you seem to have too much enthusiasm about beer to go cold turkey. Yeah, you’ll shed the pounds, but if you can set your own ground rules (limiting the quantity for instance) you’ll probably have a much better chance at sticking with it.
Currently I’m in the middle of a lifestyle change. I’ve decided that my daily intake of water must be at least 2.5 liters, which is up from about 0.5 liter just a week ago. The difference is AMAZING, in that I’m getting a tremendous amount of exercise just walking to the bathroom every hour or so. Also, kidneys are happier, the whites of my eyes are whiter (shut up, they are too), and for some reason it’s making me want to eat more healthfully.
Oh, and you should listen to No Celery Please. She lost HALF her body weight a few years ago by making one simple change at a time. How awesome is that?
Y’all rock on with your bad selves re: the July abstinence challenge. Might be I join you and stop dating Mr James Beam for a month. He’s fun all right, but it might be time to ask for ‘a little space.’
Brany why don’t you buy yourself a ten speed. Then you could be drunk, exercise and lower the risk of killing someone besides yourself all at the same time. Just a suggestion.
You know what? I’m gonna try that no beer for a month shit too. If I succeed, I bet some of the flab will almost literally fall off my ass. And to WB- I live in Western Maine. I can’t bear to think what I’d be paying for my bronchitis butts in NY.
wow and i thought i was really doing well on my spelling.
I started working out a few months ago, drinking Select 55 (I could not give up beer, I absolutely could not do it) instead of my beloved Busch Light, and I’ve lost about 15 pounds. My only problem is that I love dining out so the man and I are always here and there, getting hot wings one place and a cheeseburger at the other. But what’s the fun in life if you can’t enjoy good food? So I continue eating what I want, but with a few altercations, I try my very hardest not to eat after 7pm, I drink a lot more water then I used too, cut down the diet pop intake to a bare minimum (3-4 cans a week from my previous 3-4 cans a day), and I’ve been doing 1-2 miles on the elliptacle or treadmill 3-4 days a week, and sadly, I’ve weened myself off cheese. I still eat it on sandwhiches and what not, but I avoid the whole cheese and crackers thing and randomly nibbling off shitloads of cheese blocks we have stashed in our freezer. I received about 10 blocks of cheese from various people at Xmas and we had no choice but to freeze them. When one runs out, we thaw a new one. But yeah, I’m slowly making progress, it’s tough but so is being a thick bitch in a bikini.
Love the pic by the way!
Hi,
I remember ‘someone’ going on about the benefits of water, and actually describing the colour of their piss!
What happened to that fad, Mr Kay?
I listen to BBc World Service on the nightshift and heard this just last night.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0083kd7
This guy reckons that we are being duped into eating, when we don’t need to. Interesting stuff.
I’m giving up my office job to do a college course in Sports Coaching and Sports Development. I’m fed up of being told what to do by idiots! This will involve wieght loss and sleeping at night time. Yippee!