Have you ever successfully altered some major part of your lifestyle? I mean, on purpose. I’m not talking about some illness that forced it, or a job loss, or something like that. I’m curious if you’ve ever set out to make some fundamental change, and was able to pull it off.
I was in Burger King on Saturday, with our boys, and a couple with two young kids was sitting near us. The little noisemakers were high-maintenance, squirmy, and making noise. Nothing too outrageous, just normal little kid behavior.
Then I looked at our guys, and the oldest one, who is about six feet tall now, was continuously texting some girl somewhere, and the younger boy was wearing an ironic Dr. Seuss Green Eggs and Ham shirt. Both communicate, largely, via a series of grunts and exasperated facial expressions.
I looked back at the youngsters at the nearby table, and they were chattering and bouncing up and down knocking over cups of soda…
And I know this is an old person thing to say, but it feels like our kids were that age, just a couple of years ago. It seems like time is hyper-accelerated, and things are happening at an impossible rate of speed. And I can’t have that.
I started having some kind of mini-midlife crisis. I’m 47 years old, and in twenty years I’ll be 67. Roughly the same age as my parents. They’re still in good shape, going strong, but they… you know, talk about prescriptions and tomato plants, and are completely baffled by a DVD player.
Yeah, I know. Twenty years is a long time. But not anymore. Sure, when I was in college it seemed like forever, because it was my entire lifespan at that point. But nowadays a couple of years click by while I’m out mowing the lawn. Which is part of the reason I don’t do it as often as I should…
I fear I’ll be playing Sudoku and hitting the early bird specials before I know what happened. And I have a lot of stuff I still need to do before then. Stupid mortality… it’s starting to bum me out.
I realize that 67 isn’t all that old anymore. It used to be, but not now. And that’s fine, but I don’t exactly lead a healthy lifestyle. I don’t get enough sleep, don’t exercise much, eat my own body weight in fast food every month or so, and drink more beer than is advisable. I might not even make it to Sudoku.
And that leads me back to the first paragraph. Have you ever set out to make a fundamental change in your life, and actually pulled it off? I’ve made several half-hearted attempts, and always said fukkit within two weeks.
A few years ago, for instance, I decided to go on some idiotic diet. It was one of the fad diets, possibly South Beach or whatever that thing is called. And within a couple of days I wanted to go out in the garage and hang myself. I had salad coming out of my ass, both figuratively and literally, and every meal was a demoralizing affair.
Toney was cheering me on, but about ten days into it I told her I wasn’t doing it anymore. They could ram their retarded diet, deep and on a slant.
But I’m going to try it again. Not the Cocoa Beach Diet, or whatever, but a change in lifestyle. A temporary change, to see what happens. That temporary part is important, I think, because it eliminates terrifying thoughts like… “I’ll never taste a Stone IPA, ever again!”
Shit! I just had a full-body shiver.
So, for the month of July I’m going to try to give up beer, eat a little better (nothing overly crazy, though), read more, take a walk every day, drink more water, and (this is a biggie) get more sleep. Nothing too earth-shattering, except for the beer. But we’re only talking about July here.
I want to see what happens with my mood and mental outlook, and how it affects me physically. Also, I’ll be interested to see if I get more work done. Because that’s a big issue for me, during these hyper-accelerated times. I need to get shit done.
And now it’s your turn. Have you ever attempted a major lifestyle change? How’d it go? Tell us about it in the comments; I need to hear your stories. You know, on account of my Burger King crisis, and whatnot.
See you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great day!
Now playing in the bunker