I don’t buy anything, except ebooks. And food, lots of food. But what about you? Have you ever purchased a product from a TV commercial, or infomercial, or something similar? If so, how did it go for you? Were you satisfied?
I admit that I’m mildly intrigued by the flashlight that can be frozen inside a block of ice, dropped from a helicopter, or run over by a piece of industrial machinery. But the chances of me actually pulling the trigger on it? Exactly zero. I’m not buying that bullshit. I mean, seriously.
I also like the glove you can put on, and plunge your hand into a blast furnace at a steel mill, or whatever. But I’ll never own one, and probably never be inside a steel mill, either.
MyPillow amazes me, too. What must their advertising budget be? They’re everywhere. You can’t escape that mustachioed pillow salesman. I was in a grocery store a few days ago buying ice cream, and there was a giant display of those super-expensive pillows in the middle of the floor, with ol’ Mustache Johnny in the center of it. At a grocery store! On the frozen food aisle!! Those things cost fifty dollars each. Have any of you bought one? I need some feedback. How could they possibly live up to such a price? They’re pillows.
There are other things that intrigue me, as well. Like Dinovite, for your dog. They advertise on the radio continuously. Not sure about TV. But they’ve caught my attention. Also, I’m interested in the Squatty Potty, which is apparently a shitting stool. Any experience with that kind of thing? Please help me understand. I am sincerely baffled.
Here’s one of the classic TV commercials for questionable products. It’s memorable because of the terrible acting, general ridiculousness, racial cartoonery, and sexual menace.
Have you ever bought any such items? Please tell us about it in the comments. I have literally nothing to offer here. Sometimes I do look at the As Seen On TV section in stores, but never buy anything. Crap like the Snuggie, the ShamWow, and whatever they call that spray-on weaponized rubber they use on the bottom of that air boat? Do you own any of that stuff? What about that Red Copper deal, or the garden hose that shrivels up like a February penis? I need to know your opinions of these things, and whatever else you might have been suckered into buying along the way. Anything? Please share.
This is a pretty good collection of infomercial fails. There are tons of ’em on YouTube, but none contain my favorite. It was from a few years ago and featured a guy dragging a big bag of leaves across a lawn. It was level and debris-free, but he suddenly shouted and threw his arms in the air, before collapsing in the yard. Did he suffer a catastrophic aneurysm? Take a sniper’s bullet? It’s never explained.
I’m calling it a day, my friends. If you have anything to add to this conversation, please do so.
And I’ll see you again soon.