Hanging at the Yuppie Bar with Yuppies
Toney and I recently found ourselves in an unusual situation. The younger youngling was attending a marathon birthday party somewhere, and the older hooligan went to see some horrible movie with a friend who looks like a character off Over the Edge.
So, we had two to three hours of free time on a Friday evening. It’s simply unheard of.
“Wanna go to the yuppie bar for a couple of pints?” one of us said after dinner, probably me.
“Sounds good,” came the answer. And so we went.
The place has all manner of outdoor seating. There are regular tables out front, a large tent in the yard with other tables inside, and various chairs, couches, and coffee tables here and there. Oh, it’s quite an elaborate scene.
And on this particular night it was packed with the usual lineup of power-brokers and assholes. I assessed the situation and didn’t see a place for us to sit. Every chair was filled with guys in golf shirts and shorts with a belt, or their wives/ample-breasted mistresses. Everybody seemed to be pontificating knowingly across wine glasses.
“Screw this, let’s go,” I said.
“Hey, you guys can sit here!” someone shouted from a distance. It was a young couple on a couch, eating a plate of nachos (or somesuch) from a coffee table. There were two empty chairs there — which meant we’d probably have to chitchat. I’m not really a fan of the frozen-smile stranger chitchat… but our options were severely limited.
And get this: it turns out they were really nice, and I found myself actually conversing with them, and laughing. It was a shocking turn of events. Toney could talk to a cigar store Indian, but I generally have to know someone for two to three decades before I completely open-up. Yet it was somehow different with these two outdoor nacho-eaters.
They told us they’d just bought an expensive designer puppy from a breeder in England (I’m telling you, the place is a pretentious-magnet), and we were talking about dogs and all the “fun” they bring to life. It was a good time, and the four of us seemed to be operating on the same wavelength.
I asked the waitress what beers they had on-tap, and it was the usual lineup. They have a good selection there, but it never changes. And that’s kinda disappointing. I went with a Magic Hat #9, and think Toney ordered a Sam Adams Summerfest.
I offered to buy our new friends a round, which is completely out of character, but they said they needed to get home before their pup stripped the upholstery off their couch, full-on. Shockingly enough, I hated to see them go.
The place was still slammed with people, and we moved from our chairs to the couch. To better observe and mock the snobs, you know. Then the roles were reversed, and we saw another couple walk in, and start looking for a place to sit. Just like we’d done, thirty minutes before.
“Hey, you guys can sit here!” I shouted from a distance, as my current role demanded. What was happening to me??
Yeah, but I overplayed my hand. The chemistry just wasn’t there with the second couple. They were perfectly nice, and everything, but there were big awkward gaps in the conversation.
They said they have a vacation home in the area, and I think I actually snorted. A vacation home — near Scranton?! I see much humor in that statement. I asked where they live, and — I’m not shitting you — they said Cape May, NJ! They live beside the ocean, but summer in Scranton. I fully expected Allen Funt to walk out from behind a partition.
They asked us about local places to eat, and Toney suggested an Italian deli for sandwiches. “Oh, is that the place beside the ice cream shop? They’re horrible,” he said.
Yeah, it just wasn’t the same vibe as the first couple… and I didn’t offer to buy these two a damn thing. And when the waiter said a table had opened-up for them, I was pretty glad.
But it was good time, overall. We had three pints each, and afterward Toney complimented me on my surprising humanness. That’s not the way she put it, but it’s certainly what she meant.
Pass the beer nuts.
Metten wrote this yesterday, and it’s apparently supposed to be funny. But I don’t see the humor. It all seems perfectly reasonable to me.
And speaking of mockable, we’d like to start running reader-generated articles on Fridays. So, if you have something you’re itching to mock, send it to mockable[at]gmail.com. If we think it’s funny, and don’t believe it will get us sued, we’ll probably feature it as a Friday guest post, along with a prominent link back to yer site, or whatever. So, get to writing.
Also, only about a million t-shirts remain(gulp), and you’d better hurry if you want one. Here’s the link. Don’t delay!
And Steve and I are going to see the New York Dolls tomorrow. Or, to be more precise, the current group of people calling themselves the New York Dolls. Make no mistake, I don’t consider this to be the real Dolls. But it’s David Johansen performing the old songs, with a band that’s supposedly hot as shit. And that’s perfectly acceptable, at this point.
Have you attended many reunion shows? I wanted to see the Police last summer, and also Van Halen. But it didn’t happen. I have seen Steely Dan three or four times though, and recommend it highly.
Plus, I’ve seen the Buzzcocks twice — as well as Television(!). There’s undoubtedly others I can’t remember right now, but those are the reunion shows that jump immediately to my mind.
What about you? Do you have any experience with reformed bands on their “4th Annual Farewell Tour,” or the “We’re All Outta Cash Tour ’06,” or whatever? Tell us about it, won’t you?
Also, who would you like to see reform? Put me down for the Replacements, thank you very much.
And I’ll do my best to update tomorrow. Steve and I are gonna make a day of it, and are planning to leave early, so it might be a challenge. But we’ll see how it goes.
Have a great day, my friends.
Filed under: Daily
Hey, I have never been first. Be back later.
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I don’t have a response. I don’t know nuffin about bands, much less reunion bands, so I certainly don’t go see them.
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whoa.
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happy hump day!
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Wow, I haven’t been so high in a while. (4) heh.
I’ve seen Kiss a few times, and they’re always good. They’re playing Voodoo Fest on Halloween, which is basically across the street from me, so that should be fun.
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Oh, and if you can find a copy of The Wicked Lester Sessions, I highly recommend it.
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Saw the Police reunion show last year, and was severely disappointed. Don’t know if it was them, or because I hate seeing concerts in baseball stadiums. I was glad I got to see the Police in their “hey day” back in ’8i, but I felt bad for my husband who had never seen them before.
I was at the Trocadero last weekend, and there were all kinds of posters up for the Dolls show. I wish I was going!
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I’d like to say that I’d see The Smiths if they ever got back together, but then I think of the crowd that would be there and quickly decide otherwise.
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I went and saw Jethro Tull once. Everybody said it would be cool because the lead singer (Jethro?) stands on one leg while he plays the picolo. But they lied. There was no fancy one-legged action at all, he rolled out in a wheelchair and just sat there for the whole set.
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Top Ten whew hoo!!!
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holy cow I have not been on this site in months and I made top ten !
I am not a huge fan of live music, I hate the crowds, the closness everyone stands to you and the way the music sounds when it is cranked up to 11. I like smaller venues with more intimate seating. Rufus Wainwright was the last person I saw in concert, he played at the Mann in Philly.
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What do you mean you haven’t been here in a couple of months? Do you have a doctor’s note?
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Have seen- The Who, about 7 years after their 1982 “farewell tour”, The Cars (Todd Rundgrun, not Ric Ocasec), and Kiss several times. I also saw The Police last year, but the venue was pretty small for them (Marcus Ampitheater in Milwaukee)- They were fantastic and worth every penny. Also saw VH last year- I thought just okay. Diamon Dave is not what he once was.
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onawho! Welcome back! I need the link to the singing horses if you have it.
Hump day. 1/7 of your life is composed of hump days.
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Hey Jeff, the Eels are going to be on David Letterman tonight.
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I just want to pass along http://www.Grooveshark.com
Any song instantly. How are they not getting sued? Am I missing something?
-Hal
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Actually, every day is hump day for me.
Not really, but it would be nice
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Holy crap I’ve been to a lot of shows. Off the top of my head, the most recent “reunion” shows:
MSG
UFO
the Dolls
The Tubes
Elvis Costello & the Attractions doing the My Aim is True album from beginning to end (fucking awesome)
Y&T
Squeeze
Can’t think of any more right now. All were good and not terribly disappointing music wise, but some of my old ‘crushes’ haven’t aged so well…
You’ll dig David and Syl, Jeff – they put on a great show last year here.
Happy Wednesday, Surfers!
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Oh shit – I forgot Iggy and the Stooges. Saw them on Iggy’s 60th birthday last year!
the old geezer still looks good!
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Jane’s Addiction reunions have happened several times and I have been there for every one. Always an awesome show. As I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, Little River Band at Busch Gardens. I guess they had some falling out in the past regarding the singer leaving and the use of the name, but the singer was back and they, only three originals and two new guys did a pretty good job for the 100 people per show that showed up three times that day. Little River Band gets a semi-erect thumbs up.
Saw the Police reunion show. Last time I saw them was the Synchronicity Tour. First time I saw them was at a bar in South Charleston, WV called the Galaxy 2000 with about 20 other people. The first show was the best, with just three dudes. The Synchronicity show had about 25 people on stage.
Van Nalen reunion was pretty good. Never understood why they went with that Hagar thing. DL Roth is the only guy for that band.
My wife tries to make me accept complete strangers in public as well. She always tends to make friends with the female in the group and proceeds to schedule hangout times with the couple. A few weeks go by and we go to their house or they come to our house. We watch a movie or play cards. Then, a couple of weeks later, after I have gotten to actually like the spouse, boyfriend or whatever of the woman my wife made friends with, my wife decides to tell the woman what a piece of shit her husband/boyfriend is and proceeds to tell her that she can do better. About 95 percent of the time, the female agrees with my wife and dumps her guy for someone else….that I have to get to know all over again, thinking “HEY, WHAT THE FUCK WAS WRONG WITH THE LAST GUY? Anyway, I refuse to make couple friends now.
Did you know- Andy Griffith is still alive?
On IPOD right now- “Dear God”- by XTC
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Hey, the dude in today’s bunker cam pic looks like he’s sporting some attire to hit a “Poison” reunion or some such nonsense.
Remember kids, as I used to say in the 80s:
“Spandex is a privilege, not a right!”
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Of course I meant Van Halen there…sorry Ed, Alex and Wolfie…and Dave.
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I went to see Whitesnake at the grand opening of a Wal-Mart.
Also, Kiss, WITH makeup (post Lick it Up)in the 90′s in San Antonio.
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Don’t do much concert going any more. Last concert I went to was at River Front Stadium in Cincinnati to see Jonathan Butler.
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There is certainly nothing wrong with ample-breasted, unless it lead to you getting the Spanish Archer.
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Does Over the Edge have a kid in it who was obsessed with a Viet Nam Vet’s experience in Viet Nam until the vet snapped and told him how much it sucked?
If not, does anyone know that movie?
And as for the question of the day, this is weird:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=%2Fc%2Fa%2F2009%2F06%2F16%2FDD6D1873TL.DTL
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Mr.Man and I don’t have any couple’s for friends either. We are pretty much loners when it comes to friends.
My friends are like me…former institutionalized maniacs who enjoy crude humor and booze.
His friends are like The Wayne…staunch and stuffy historical geeks who enjoy stroking each other’s old tools and muskets.
Mr.Man can be persuaded to go out with me and my friends occasionally but I usually have to be pretty drunk to agree to go out with his.
They’re boring….mine are fun like me and most of the time Mr.Man is NOT embarrassed to the point of crawling underneath the nearest chair.
We are complete opposites…ain’t love grand?
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Jeff: Yuppies don’t bite! & according to Metten you evidently have a few yuppie traits already! Perhaps you caught “yuppie flu” whilst intermingling with the pod people:)
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I saw the Black Sabbath reunion a few years back. They were pretty good despite Ozzy having completely fried his noodle on heroin. Iomi was amazing as always.
I’d like to see The Smiths, Husker Du, The Stranglers, The Minute Men, and The Clash reform. Of course with the last two there are issues with key members being dead…..
On a happier note Stiff Little Fingers and The Specials have both reformed (except Henry Cluney is not part of the SLF line up, but you can’t have everything), and The Specials are touring. I’m desperately hoping they’ll add some North American dates.
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Isn’t it pretty normal for people who have coastal homes (say, Cape May) to summer elsewhere, so they can rent out their coastal home to suckers for exorbitant amounts of cash all summer long? Look the rental rates on Long Beach Island, NJ in August. Holy carp!
I’d do that if I could afford the decent coastal home in the first place…
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@ Brandy – Playing piccolo on one leg may have to the wheel chair due to his bout with DVT. Or it could be the reason why he played piccolo on one leg.
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Good bands Tyrosine….The Smiths and Husker Du would be awesome to see. The Housemartins would be a good reunion…except I think one guy is in prison.
Alice in Chains with undead Layne Staley would rock.
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@Tyrosine- My hubby is also desperately hoping for The Specials to tour the US. I have been informed that he is prepared to travel many miles for this show!
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I like going to places like that…uppity restaurants too that has a hostess/ hosterr. When they say…”Table for one/ two?…I always say…”Mind if I pick my seat?”
And I can say that with a straight face. (might take a little practice but…hey). If you’re a couple or what ever you can say “Mind if we pick our seats?”
Found it’s a pretty good way to start off the fun of being out amongst ‘em.
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@onawho…I would be willing to provide you with a doctored note after a comlpete examination. My rates are quite reasonable and usually don’t exceed the needed change for the parking meter for my van.
Walk-ins welcome…Dr. Fatnbald
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If a place doesn’t have a “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service” sign (and many of them don’t) the first thing I do when I’m seated is take off my shoes and shirt. Then I rub my stomach and/or pop my toes while talking to the waitress about what I’ll have to drink.
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@tadpolegal:
He may have to to travel to England to see them. By all appearances they have no interest in touring anywhere else for a while. I would dearly love to see them, but they never had a lot of influence in North America, so we may not be at the top of their priority list. I expect we’ll see a European tour first if (and a very big “if” apparently) they plan on doing anything more than this “30 year Anniversary Tour”.
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Okay, Jeff, Yuengling finally came to Fort Valley–we tried it just now. We liked it. Should’ve been paying more attention to your suggestions over the years. Suggest you make more suggestions that we might be able to partake in. Start a page?
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Went to a “Hey-Hey We’re The Monkee” reunion tour.
It was at the local fairgrounds/horse manure repository.
It was one of ‘em singing all the songs with a bunch of
twenty something’s as the rest of the band.
Don’t get me wrong, it was fun. I was drunk.
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@ Cas G in Knoxpatch,
As you probably know, there’s a less than 0% chance of a Smiths reunion, however Modest Mouse (now featuring Johnny Marr) is touring (link: http://www.modestmouse.com/photoblog/tours/ nothing near TN yet, but they still might add more shows). Think of it as kinda like The Smiths, but without Morrissey’s overwhelming pretentiousness (and his lame fascination with Oscar Wilde) . Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a Smith fan, but if asked to choose between watching The Smiths live, or watching Morrissey get mauled by rabid dogs, I’d really have to give it some thought.
The Housemartins would be awesome (should have thought of that myself) as long as Cook doesn’t pull any of his “Fatboy Slim” crap.
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I saw three out of the seven Official Farewell Tours by The Who…
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I can’t help myself – I have to speak up. It’s a flute, dammit! Ian Anderson plays the flute. A piccolo is used in Stars and Stripes Forever. Jethro Tull is from the name of a mythical figure.
If one’s knowledge of music starts with Blink 182, maybe classic rock is not for you.
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Hey AngryWhiteGuy,
I was at that Police show at the Galaxy 2000, too! You must have been one of the four people there that I didn’t know, because the rest of the crowd were people that I hung out with pretty regularly. Seriously! I talked to Pete (the owner) after the show and I believe the official paying count was 23 patrons, so you’re pretty much right on the body count. You may remember seeing me there. I was the guy with the bloody nose/shirt walking through the crowd right after The Police finished their set. I was in the lobby talking to the t-shirt guys, and some disco clown started ranting at me for no apparent reason other than he hated anyone who didn’t look like him, and he hit me so hard that I saw God. I got up and lobbed off two extremely non-damaging punches at the guy before the bouncers grabbed us. Turns out the fella was upset because us “new wavers” were encroaching on his disco territory. No joke! If you remember, that Police show was the very first non-disco event that the Galaxy ever promoted, and he and his buddy were one of the disco regulars there who didn’t know that the venue was changing over to a rock format starting that night!! While in the bathroom cleaning up my bloody puss, I ran into Mulligan from Fashion (the warmup act). He looked pretty freaked out and asked me “were you stabbed? Are there lots of fights in this club?” We talked for a while and then Luke, the bass player stops in. They both ask me who my favorite Manchester band was – when I replied “Buzzcocks, of course!” they both laughed at me. They were from Manchester and I guess they hated Shelley and crew…
Anyway, I had the last laugh, because I deejayed the short-lived “New Wave Nights” on Wednesdays there for a few months after the rock and roll changeover and before it became a steady diet of “WKLC105 Presents Larry Heywood and the Atlanta Side Show (A.S.S.)” every Friday and Saturday night…
Ahh, those were the good ‘ol days…
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Ed McElfresh Reply:
June 7th, 2011 at 5:19 am
Saw the post mentioning Larry Haywood & A.S.S..
I was the DJ at Galaxy 2000 for a while while Larry and
the gang played there.
I also did a lot of stage photography there including
Larry’s wedding at Kanawha State Forest..
I been in Las Vegas & Lake Tahoe for over 30 years and
I just retired and moved back to Charleston.
I would be interested if anyone knows about Larry,etc.
and what they are doing now.
By the way,I also used to do the light show for Kristina
at the Mordor night club in Kanawha City and
sound work for Stage Audio and lighting also
in Kanawha City.
Hello.Testing 1,2,3.Is this thing on?
Anybody out there
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t-storm, sounds like you’re thinking about The Wild Life.
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No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
That ‘Bunker Cam’ pic is just WRONG!!!
out, y’all
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@Vicki…hey…down there at the bottom to the right is a thing headed…Other Stuff. You’ll see at the bottom of that is…Suggestaholic!. Cllick on that and there just happens to be some more beer info for you. Just a suggestion to go there (IMHO) and I’m just saying my $0.02 worth. ( Sorry…couldn’t help that swami bologna)
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@Tyrosine: Hmmmm, The Smiths reuniting or Morrissey beset by wild dogs….that’s a tough one. What I can’t believe is that Mozz is still doing his same schtick at the ripe old age of 50. He was already past the age of acceptable teenage emo angst (before it was emo) in The Smiths’ heyday, so now it’s just beyond pathetic. Get laid already, dammit. I gave away all my Smiths albums sometime in the nineties, but I always kept the live “Rank” album. They were killing it that show!
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No “reunions” so to speak. Went to a Pink Floyd concert my junior year during the Division Bell Tour. Not the originals, obviously, but as a junior in high school I must say it was more than enjoyable. I managed to pass something around full only to have it returned full.
Went to a “Skynyrd” concert in Charleston as a senior in high school. Got drunk, almost got arrested. Had a great time.
You have to work with what you’ve got.
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I saw ‘The Doors – of the 21st Century’-(really thats what the ‘reunion’ was called) a few years back in Glasgow.
Ian Astbury (The Cult) was standing in for Jim Morrison, and it was surprisingly good. At one point I was sure that Astbury was possessed of Morrisons wandering spirit, (during the ‘mr mojo rising’ bit) and without my glasses I swear I could see wisps of ectoplasm escape from his mouth.It was all very exciting.
It might have just been spit though.
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Ho-ly shit! I seriously think I know the dude in the bunker cam pic.
Fuck! That’s eerie.
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My very first concert was a Monkees Reunion tour
Sometime mid 80′s.
Jeff I loved that you found a cool couple in the Yuppie bar.
I am like Toney. I can talk to anyone at any age about anything. My husband is like you and calls me a Transformer.
ABOUT THOSE SHIRTS:
I like the blue better but I haven’t bought and I do not have a solid reason why. I liked the yearly obscurity of the shirts I think.
I also want a girl T.
Like you have not been getting that feedback.
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Evil Twin, I do seem to remember some of that. I also remember Larry Heywood being there all the fucking time.
I came in second in an air guitar contest there once. Wrapped myself in aluminum foil from head to to and performed as the “Tin Man”. Saw a lot of people I knew from high school and they had no fucking idea who I was when I went up to them and called them by name. That place was really a good time once they went rock.
Mostly, regarding you, I remember you convincing me to give “In Through The Out Door” another chance when I tried to return it to Budget. …. “Man, you just can’t return something just because you don’t like it!”….That was you, right? It soon became my second favorite Led Zep album (besides the first one). Good call.
Tuesdays (I think) were my favorite Galaxy nights. Beer bust. It was some ridiculously low price like two or three dollars for all you could drink. I only lived a couple of blocks away so I stumbled home many, many nights from there.
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Almost forgot-
Did you know- The tea bag was introduced in 1908 by Thomas Sullivan of New York. It was perfected by Ron Jeremy in 1991.
On IPOD right now- “Stupified”- Disturbed
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I think Jethro Tull invented the corn planter or some such. Not mythical at all.
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Jethro Tull invented the seed drill Finally my 4 years at agricultural college comes into good use!!
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Ok…again…who are these f’n bands? Never heard of half of them…I SOO live under a rock. Case and point….I would like to see Guns-n-Roses make a comeback. There, I said it. Saw Van Hagar back in the day. David Lee Roth is definately the “chosen one” for that band.
I am not a very trusting person at first. So I keep my pie hole shut until I see the true colors of someone. Been fucked over by “close” friends too many times. True friends can be counted on one hand; but have tons of aquaintances.
I’m kind of a chamelion… I can go anywhere. But prefer a shot and a beer place, biker bar, shit hole and what have you. People are more “real”, no bullshit attitudes.
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@ Gretchen
Did you hear the stunt he pulled at Coachella last month? He could smell “barbecue meat” so he stormed off the stage in a fit of self-righteous vegan rage until the offending carnivores were force-fed soy burgers.
http://www.chartattack.com/news/68664/morrissey-ditches-coachella-stage-over-meat
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Is the word ‘Yuppie’ still used these days? Does it still mean anything? Kind of a Reagan-era throwback, it seems. Is there not an updated word to use instead of ‘Yuppie’? Does DINK work? How about David Brooks’ term Bobo (bourgeouis bohemian)?
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@Tyrosine: “I can smell burning flesh and I hope to God it’s human.” WTF??!! So let me get this straight, he’d rather see a human baby on a spit than a shank o’ lamb? That guy is a walking Further Evidence link.
So please, please, please
Let me, let me, let me
Throw a hotdog
At his face
I confess that for almost one whole decade I didn’t eat red meat. I eventually came back to the carnivore fold, but during my time sans cow flesh I certainly didn’t demand that anyone around me had to follow my diet. Not my husband, not my friends, not anyone within 50 feet of me. It’s people like him that give vegetarians a bad name. Wotta douche.
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I drove my wife to Clearwater to see a Morrisey concert about a year and a half ago. I had to hang out with my 18 year old sister in law’s boyfriend, who I did not know, for the entire show in Clearwater while my wife and her sister went to the show. I became good friends with him while we hung out and made fun of our respective others for going to such an ostentatious dickhead’s show. Of course, my wife told her sister, during the show, that her boyfriend would never amount to anything and she should dump him, which she eventually did. I blame Morrisey for this.
If God didn’t want us to eat meat, why did he make it taste so good.
Did you know- Your mouth produces 1 litre of saliva per day?
On IPOD right now- “Welcome to the Boomtown”- David and David
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Welcome to the Boomtown just played on my iPod, too! Weird, man.
Anyway, we’re leaving for the show in about 45 minutes, so there will be no update today.
However, I just posted this informational article at Mockable: http://mockable.org/how-to-safely-operate-a-cheeseburger/
See ya next time!
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Enjoy the show!!
Did you know- Davi and David played on Sheryl Crow’s first album?
On IPOD right now- “Mirror in the Bathroom”- Specials
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I have most of David Baerwald’s solo albums, as well. All are worth checking out. The early ones sound a lot like David and David.
It’s hotter than hell in this house…
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Who my Daddy?
June 18, 2009
Well, another Father’s Day is coming up. Father’s Day is known in these parts as the most confusing day in Newtown. Newtown is a section of Snorasota that is %99.97 black. Not a racist statement, since they, too, find humor in that line. Anyway, it has sunk in after a few years that this applies to me, as well.
About three years ago, a guy in South Carolina wrote me, telling me the circumstances back in 1960 that led to me being born. Told me things that only my Mom would know and told me how he was barred, while serving in the Navy, from going back through Virginia to see my Mom in West Virginia, due to him running a State Trooper off the road, therefore, losing his right to drive in the State of Virginia. My Mom, in the throes of desperation, ended up marrying another guy and ignoring every letter this guy wrote to her to explain the situation. My Mom told this other sailor that he was the father of her child and I was born, believable to him, two months premature. In actuality, I was born two weeks late. So anyway, this guy has always believed he was my father, raised me, beat me up when it was needed and verbally abused me until I knocked him down the steps as a teenager and ran like hell out the door with nothing but the clothes on my back. Never looked or went back. But I get along with him nowadays. Oh yeah, and he looks like an American Indian, with no resemblance to me whatsoever.
After hearing from South Carolina guy, I decided to fly up and visit him. Oh, in his letter, he explained also how he was retired from Lucent Technologies (people who perfected the cell phone), lived in a ranch house on some property in which one of my three sisters I knew nothing about lived in another house on the same ranch property, and told me he had four hot rods and was an avid car collector. I, in devious mode, thought..at last, a relative with money!! After all, there was no doubt after seeing a picture of this dude with blue eyes and a Grizzly Adams beard, that he was my Dad, and looked exactly like a bloated older version of me. One of the three sisters looked exactly like me (minus the beard ) and this might be my ticket to getting out of debt. When I arrived in Greensboro, I had to rent a car to drive to Seneca. If you have ever been to the middle of nowhere, Seneca is about twenty miles past that.
I got to the “ranch” and it was a house of about 600 square feet. “Sis lived in a house on the same “ranch” of about 1000 square feet. The houses were about twenty feet from each other and the yard was about 100 feet both ways. There was not retirement from Lucent and the four “hot rods” were all up on blocks, with various metal, glass or rubber parts missing. However, they were good people and I swallowed my bitter, gutwrenching disappointment and spent a few days getting to know them all. So for father’s day, I was sending each a card. My mom denied the whole thing and told me I must never have contact with this man again. However, I knew better.
This February, a strange truck came to my driveway. I answered the door and an old guy, about six foot six and 300 pounds, exactly my height and weight, came to tell me that HE was my Dad. Showed me pictures of my Mom from 1959-1960 and the places they visited together in the Virginia Beach area. He too was a sailor based on the shore of Virginia, as were the other two guys. What the fuck, man?!! Was my Mom turning tricks for sailors in on leave? This guy drove a piece of shit truck from Georgia to see me and I felt like he at least deserved a meal or something. As I got to know him over dinner, I noticed that my son and he shared the same facial structure and mannerisms. He went back to Georgia and I speak with him and South Carolina guy every week now.
So this year, I sent three father’s day cards out. The most confusing day of my year.
All this time I thought former NBA star Jerry West was my Dad. Y’see, my Mom fucked him too. Now that would have paid off. Happy Father’s Day guys.
Did you know- The three monkeys have names, they are: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru – (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil)?
On IPOD right now- “Californication”- Red Hot CPs
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Would someone else ask AngryWhiteGuy, the dozen or so questions I have? I’m late for an appointment.
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Man, your mom loved seamen.
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Now THAT’S one white guy with a reason to be Angry!!!
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Sorry guys, that was just my update since Jeff was busy. For the record- where I said, “happy Father’s Day, guys”…. That was directed toward yiou Surf Reporters fathers, not those three dickheads who claim to be my father. Anyways, hope you have a good one.
Yes, CBS, my Mom also likes peel and eat shrimp, but I do not hold that against her. She’s a goddamn good mom.
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I really like the alluring pose of the bunker cam woman. Too bad she’s either about 80 or dead now.
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@ AngryWhiteGuy – excellent piece, I look nothing like my father but I have adopted a lot of his mannerisms like his love for single malt scotch. He spent 3 Years in Germany which is probably why I can read and write German. He spoke a little German, but never around us kids. Probably because most were curse words. I would hear him evry now and then shout something foreign out while playing Pinochle. I repeated it one day to some kids I used to play with and one of them was ready to kick my ass. I apologized and he backed down telling me not to say that anymore. I remember the incident but I have forgot what I had said.
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Because we were denied a Further Evidence Link today (and just because I feel like it) I bring you some WTF!-inducing furniture:
http://www.fastcompany.com/blog/cliff-kuang/design-innovation/furniture-will-give-you-nightmares
http://www.coffincouches.com/
If the Wooly Chair is mistaken for Nancy underarm pelt, you can be forgiven.
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AngryWhiteGuy….Amazing story… and whats even more remarkable is your attitude! That just goes to show ya….you can pick your friends, but not your relatives (?)
My father passed away very suddenly while I was a smart-mouthed, know-it-all teenager. I was always daddy’s little girl. Then the teen years descended and we did not see eye to eye. Or, truth be told, I didn’t agree with his old fashion rules. It wasn’t until I was an “adult” that I realized what a wonderful father he was.
Happy Father’s Day all you Daddy’s out there!
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Father’s Day Schmather’s Day.
If you need a special day every year to prod you into appreciating your parents then they probably aren’t worth a shit to begin with. I hate Father’s Day.
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I am just going to leave this here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ0nE1u7cv4
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I need to poop.
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AWG, if you really need to “know”, paternal DNA tests now cost less than $200 (won’t stand up in court due to chain of evidence but the science is the same)
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Thanks, but I am waiting for it all to come out on Springer. I have been slinging chairs in my garage for practice.
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Got free tickets to see Van Halen last year. Fuckin’ rocked. they played the best of the best, not just the hits but the good songs buried in the early catalog. And they played for over 2 hours! Pretty damn good for a buch of guys in their 50s. I couldn’t do it now in my 30s.
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Iggy and The Stooges – every time they’ve played in Detroit since they reunited, which is three times.
First one was their initial reunion back in 2003 – supposed to be the day of the East Coast blackout, but that through a wrench in the works. I had to wait five whole days. Then they played Detroit about a week before Iggy’s 60th b-day, so I saw them a week before Knucklehead. And then they played a local amphitheatre four months later and I was there again.
I think that’s it for reunion tours for me. I wanted to see Roxy Music a few years back, but they were charging $75 for lawn seats (normally run you $25), so that didn’t happen.
Saw Air Supply last year, but I don’t think they ever really broke out, so I’m not sure that counts.
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