Tuesday night, while in the throes of an uncommon cold, I went horizontal on the couch and watched four episodes of Green Acres in a row, then an entire DVD of Beavis and Butthead. And it was just what the doctor ordered. I felt a lot better the next morning (although I still wasn’t quite ready to go limbo dancing), and I credit my TV choices from the night before.
Mr. Anderson to the cops: “One of them calls himself Butthole, and the other one’s name is Joe. I believe they were Oriental.”
I think I dislodged twelve pounds of phlegm laughing at that line…
You know how everybody says they don’t know a person who’s actually participated in a national political poll? Well, I used to say the same thing, but no longer. Because yesterday afternoon Toney took part in a so-called focus group, at a local hotel, and represented thousands of registered voters(!).
She said they asked her a lot of questions about local races, showed her campaign ads and asked questions about them, then grilled her about McCain vs. Obama.
The whole process took about 35 minutes, and they gave her a crisp $50 bill at the end. Man, I’m jealous… I never get called for such things. Hell, I’d give them a hundred dollars worth of opinions, for their fitty.
Near the end, Toney said they showed her video footage of what was supposed to be average citizens from the area, pontificating about politics. They asked her if she believed they were really locals, or actors.
Toney guessed they were actors, and they asked why. “Because they’re all nice looking, and well-groomed,” she answered. And this reportedly triggered much laughter amongst the polling staff.
Buck sent me this picture today. It’s supposedly a toilet in the Ukraine. Not a urinal, but an actual toilet – in a ladies room.
Can someone please help me out with the logistics of such a set-up? What do you have to do, remove all your clothes from the waist down, including shoes and socks, and straddle that thing?
Good God. Can you imagine the splash-back? Forget crapping at work… I might not even be able to do it at home, if I had to deal with something like that. It makes me all nervous and anxious, just looking at it.
I asked Buck about the mechanics of using such an apparatus, and here is his reply:
You drop trou, squat and pray the back of your pants and underwear are far enough forward so as not to become a cloth catch basin. It’s the same thing as when you’re shitting in the woods while hunting–except there’s heat, privacy, and water to rinse things off. But now that you mention it–I see no toilet paper holder. WTF?
Do any of you have information on this curious Ukrainian crap-catcher? And what other ridiculous novelty toilets have you encountered in your travels?
Remember how I was having trouble reading, all of a sudden? Well, that’s over, and here’s the book that broke the spell. For whatever reason, I was into it from the very first page. Whew! I was afraid I was in the early stages of time-released retardation.
When I finish, I might feel confident enough to finally tackle The Stand. But we’ll see how it goes.
And thanks to Rhino Records, there are even more must-own CDs on record store shelves – mocking me, and calling me hurtful names. On Tuesday they completed their Replacements reissue project, by re-releasing the band’s four major label albums: all remastered, expanded, and fancied-up.
Here’s a brief overview, and your inevitable Amazon links:
The first two are stone-cold classic gottabuyems, and the last two aren’t too shabby either. Snap ’em up, before they start making you feel guilty.
And I’ll leave you today with a Question, based on a conversation Toney and I had last weekend: have you ever seen a ghost?
Toney tells a story from her childhood, in which her family was staying at an old farmhouse in Montana for a couple of months. Yeah… who knows? Sunshine was involved, so it’s best not to even think about it.
In any case, Toney says she woke up one night and thought she saw a lady ironing clothes in the middle of the room. Believing she was only dreaming, she allowed herself to drift back to sleep.
And the next morning Sunshine stumbled out of the bedroom, and said, “Man, I had the weirdest dream last night. I thought I woke up and saw a woman, in an old-fashioned dress, ironing clothes at an ironing board.”
So, there ya go. Have you ever seen what you think might’ve been a ghost? I haven’t, so I can contribute nothing to this one. But if you’ve got something for us, use the comments link below.
And I’ll see ya next time.
UPDATE: Jorge sends along these photos of another, um, exotic toilet. He explains:
My wife was in the Peace Corps in Ecuador and stayed with a family with this set up for a month or so during her training.
The laundry area is to the left of the photo and the hog pen is to the right. There is toilet paper, but no seat, no tank. Just a bowl. Afterwards you pour a bucket of water in to create the “flush”.