You know an article is going to be a keeper when it contains the words “Czech and German researchers studied 70 dogs during 1,893 defecations…”
According to this piece scientists believe dogs align themselves with the Earth’s magnetic field while shitting. So, all those tight circles your pookie is turning, before serving up an order of yard crullers? He’s apparently trying to find true north with his anus. If you and your friends ever lose your way in the woods, while walking a dog, don’t worry. You’ll now be able to regain your bearings as soon as he craps: “This way gentleman! By the butthole of Victor, we’re saved!!”
I don’t know. You can call me a denier if you’d like, but I’m skeptical. What’s the benefit to the animal? The article says nothing about this. Why does he do it? And how often does it actually happen — what percentage of “defecations” were so aligned? There’s not much information, is there? I’d like to know more. Should I bring in a feng shui master to re-position our toilets? I don’t want to shit a hole in the time/space continuum, or something. Or perhaps I can do better in my career if I go side-saddle from now on?
Also, in the overall scientific pecking order, where does “direction a dog points its ass” fall? Far below cancer research, I’d guess. Are those scientists bitter, or do they view this as an opportunity to shine, and maybe move up? “If I nail this magnetic field dog shit assignment, I’ll be in line for that sweet urethra durability study at Duke!”
There’s so much more I’d like to know.