Fast Food Review: KFC Double Down Sandwich
“Link bait” is a phrase used by bloggers, to describe a type of blog post carefully designed to earn links from other sites. They’re often filled with controversial, provocative opinions and “facts,” calculated to inflame — and earn a load of backlinks to the website where the post appears.
And I’m fully convinced that the marketing department of KFC has mastered the art of link baiting… A few weeks ago it was meat with a handle, and now this.
I mean, seriously. A bacon and cheese sandwich where the bread has been replaced by two pieces of fried chicken? That’s designed to go viral on the internet, and get “KFC” mentioned at hundreds of blogs and read by millions of people around the globe, as sure as my ass is threatening the structural integrity of this chair.
Indeed, here are Google’s blog search results, for a sandwich that was only unleashed on the public 24 hours ago.
So, I feel a little manipulated, if you want to know the truth. But I have a duty, self-created, to try the bastard out and report back to you guys. And that’s exactly what I’m doing now — under protest.
I went to our bad-neighborhood KFC yesterday afternoon, and ordered a Double Down sandwich through the drive-thru window. They’d been running a countdown clock on their corporate website, leading to April 12 — Double Down Day — and I wanted to be among the first to try it.
The woman inside the squawkbox tried to upsell me to the meal deal, but I told her I only wanted the sandwich. “$5.29,” she answered, which my inner sensors calculated as roughly one dollar too much.
I drove the scandalous sack home, and snapped the “reality” photo above. Then I took a bite. Hmm… spicy. And what’s that sauce? I wasn’t aware of a sauce. I’m not really a fan of sauces, generally speaking. And wasn’t there supposed to be bacon on this thing? …Holy shit, the sodium!
Those were my initial thoughts, in case it’s not clear.
It turns out they slap a slice of Swiss cheese on there, along with a slice of Pepper Jack. And the latter is apparently where the spiciness was coming from. Needless to say, it wasn’t all that hot, but it was definitely discernible.
The sauce, referred to as “the Colonel’s sauce” in KFC marketing literature, is apparently mayonnaise. I’m not sure, but it was definitely mayo-based, and I didn’t like it. In fact, it interrupted the flavors of all that meat and cheese. Why must there always be a sauce of some sort?
And “the Colonel’s sauce?” It makes me wonder what happened later in the day, at the Tijuana Picnic. Blecch.
The amount of salt, once again, was almost unbelievable. I like salt just fine, I’m no saltophobic, but holy crap nodules! Everything I buy at KFC is radically overloaded with sodium. It felt like my kidneys were cutting in and out.
And the fact that I couldn’t taste the bacon… Well, that’s a big problem. The fried chicken overpowered everything, and if I’d been blindfolded I would’ve told you there was no bacon present. I’d probably say it was a ball of chicken stuffed with cheese and mayonnaise.
I didn’t like the Double Down, and it’s very likely I’ll never have one again. In fact, I pulled the Pepper Jack off, and gave our dog Andy the last one-third of the sandwich. I couldn’t finish it. After the first couple of bites it became a chore, and I was quickly fatigued.
I give the new Double Down sandwich a C minus, because I’m feeling unusually generous today.
And since I’ve painted myself into this fast food corner, I’ll undoubtedly review the next over-the-top offering from KFC as well. Care to predict what it might be? Possibly a meat helmet? A globe of chicken that can be lowered over a human head, and eaten from the inside-out?
Help me out, folks. Use the comments link to make your prediction of the next link bait offering from KFC, or any of the other fast food places, for that matter.
And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.
Have a great day!
Filed under: Daily
Numero Uno once again!
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[...] Review here. [...]
I like ham.
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ugh… i hate it when “resteraunts” replace bread with …. nonbread in a sandwich….
like the McWaffle sandwich? and the cheese burger on a krispy kreme…
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I prefer to eat my chicken from the ass in.
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Um….how is Andy feeling today?
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Top 10 at least…
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Thanks for taking one for the team, Jeff. I hope you drank a gallon of water after that to flush the sodium away.
I can’t even predict what kind of weird shit they’ll come up with next. A chicken leg where they take the bone out and stuff the hole with bacon and cheese?
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The Tijuana Picnic brings the lolz! Where’s the sombrero??
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I’m with ya, Jeff…WTF is up with KFC’s marketing dept.? They have nothing in the product-development pipeline so they’re just going through their menu and trying to figure out ways to re-package existing stuff???
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I once worked for the Colonel…10 of the 11 herbs and spices are salt. But I have to admit I like the grilled chicken. From the looks of this ‘samwich’ tho, maybe not so much. Makes me wonder what the qualifications are to work in the Test Kitchen. Maybe you have to be a retired competitive eater.
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As soon as I saw that this thing was out I began hungrily anticipating…
the review I’d see here. And it didn’t disappoint!
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Wow…I’m going with chicken cordon bleu balls…but only because it sounds like KFC is halfway to that discovery already. All they need is ham.
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Chicken as edible bowl?
NOM NOM NOM
“Possibly a meat helmet? A globe of chicken that can be lowered over a human head, and eaten from the inside-out?”
.. would go nicely with a pail of soda
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I had to zoom by those pictures, that looks disgusting.I don’t do KFC but it’d be my best guess that everything there tastes the same regardless of what new marketing they come up with.
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The next KFC offering will be The Colonel’s Bacon Flavored Salt Dippers- fried chicken fingers and little tubs of sticky bacon salt to dip them in.
Damn, I should go trademark this quick.
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Good Afternoon Surf Reporters….
I’d like to see an entire roasted chicken with all the bones removed. Replacing them would be mashed potatoes, brown gravy and corn(or string beans).
Bread the entire lot and deep fry that mother.
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Jesus Christ, man, my chest hurt just reading that!
Do you know there are 20 grams of fat in a KFC thigh? TWENTY FUCKING GRAMS!!! What must one do to a chicken thigh to up it’s fat in such a fashion? I think the sodium was up around 1200 mg. It’s just…..I can’t even wrap my head around it. Blecchh.
Happy Tuesday, Surfers!
(yeah, I realize I said that yesterday and it was actually Monday. Sorry.)
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Well, since taste no longer seems of paramount importance, I’m going to guess “meat suppository”.
Bend over and say “ah”!!!!
Beward the extra-crispy one, though; that’s gotta hurt goin’ in.
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oh, I meant to mention that Pittsburgh must have been a test market for the KFC double down. They were being advertised around here a few months ago.
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KFC Presents: “Chicken Puppies”
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In regards to your ‘bad-neighborhood KFC’, South Park had some comments on this a few weeks ago. Cartman was jonesin’ for KFC, and all the KFC’s were shutting down due to a new ordinance about locating fast food joints in poor neighborhoods. Turns out, that’s the only place KFC locates! The KFCs were all becoming medical marijuana dispensaries and Cartman was not happy!
Personally, I think I’ll pass on this one. Thanks for taking one for the team, Jeff!
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While the KFC Double Down is certainly a coronary waiting to happen, I think this bad boy might just be the worse ever.
http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2009/10/quote-of-the-day-shep-smith-on-the-krispy-kreme-doughnut-cheeseburger.html
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Next thing will be deep fried turkey waddles. Yum !!
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The grilled version has more sodium (1430gr.) than the fried version(1380gr.). That’s over HALF of the daily recommended sodium intake (2500 gr.) If you check out their ingredient statement, it lists one of the ingredients of the “Colonel’s sauce” as “Chicken Fat”. Holy crap! Chicken Fat !?! That’s chicken fat between chicken fat! Do we really need more chicken fat? I guess we do! Stay away from The Colonel! Far, far away!
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I’m going with the “Fry ‘n Drive”. The person at the drive-through will toss you some chicken parts and a bucket of 400 degree oil that you balance between your legs. You get to fry your own meal as you drive around town.
KFC will cover their ass by making sure the bucket sez “Caution-This oil is hot”.
They will also give you gauze and bandages instead of napkins.
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I bought two of them, one grilled and one fried. I was going to eat half of each and save the rest for lunch today. First thing I noticed when I opened the box was there wasn’t anything wrapped around it to enable you to pick it up. It was just laying in the box. I sloppily picked it up, I took one bite of the grilled Double Down and threw it away. It tasted like they tried to give the grilled taste by applying some sort of chemical (like liquid smoke). And that is what it tasted like, a chicken breast coated with cleaning solvents. In the garbage.
Next was the fried version. Also, no way to pick it up without making a mess. First thing I noticed was there was almost zero breading on it. I had to check twice to make sure they hadn’t given me two of the grilled version.
I took the first bite and thought hmmmm we may have something here. Everything tasted pretty damn good. No chemical taste like the grilled DD, cheese – check, bacon – check, sauce (unlike Jeff,I liked the sauce) – check.
Then the second bite. EVERYTHING that wasn’t a chicken breast slid off into my mouth. So I got a little chicken and then a huge gob of cheese, bacon and sauce. Don’t get me wrong, I ate that bite and it was damn good but then what I was left with just two old chicken breasts. No more cheese, no more bacon, no more sauce – all gone. I took a few more bites of breast and threw the rest away.
And I do agree with Jeff on two points.
One, the DD is insanely salty. McDonalds fries are bland in comparison. It is like being teabagged by a fat, sweaty pirate.
Two, I won’t be buying another. The Double Down is like a fast food freak show act. Once you’ve seen it, there is no need to see it again.
And as a post script, to all you people who fancy yourself healthy and above any kind of fast food and look down your nose at everyone else. Shut the fuck up. Nobody wants to hear your “Oh, that’s a heart attack waiting to happen” or “I hope that comes with a coupon for open heart surgery” comments. The Double Down has the same amount of calories and fat as a Big Mac, which isn’t exactly salad but It’s also not like eating Crisco out of a can.
I hope after spending your life eating your rabbit food that you live to be 110 years old. I also hope that the last 30 of that is spent in a nursing home, pissing and shitting all over yourself, waiting for your asshole kids that never come visit, wondering what that smell is and trying to figure out the square root of potato as your money quickly disappears.
Most of the time living to a ripe old age ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. Just because you eat healthy doesn’t mean you are going to peacefully drift off into the sweet hereafter while you sleep in your own bed, in your own home, surrounded by your loving family with a big smile plastered across your man-pleaser.
Healthy or not, long life or not, remember this; At the moment you die, your sphincter is going relax like everyone elses and you are going to shit your pants…and there’s nothing you can do about it.
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I saw a recipe for KFC’s grilled chicken; the chicken is marinated for several hours in salt water.
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Dude? Where’s the gravy? Dip that beast in gravy!!!
New offerings?
- supplementary addional optional health insurance
- Chopped formed and pressed into the shape of the Colonel’s head – “Get head at KFC”
KFC battered and fried:
- veggies – I still say veggies suck ass big time but let’s cater to everyone
- Soup balls
- Icecream
- I bet you could inject cream cheese in to that chicken breast if you hollow out a hole – it would look like a Krispy Kreme Choc filled donut (which in itself reminds me of a baloon knot
- that same cream cheese could be bacon flavored
- replace that cream cheese with creamy chocolate
I’m hungry
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5 Star post by JDL !
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The chicken in the ad pic made me think of misc leftover chicken parts (breast meat definitely NOT included), mulched and formed into oversized, perfectly shaped McNugget-style patties. Or hash browns. The reality pic at least looks like chicken breasts and clearly indicates that they shorted you on the bacon.
Items like this only serve to reinforce two things:
1. If it weren’t for bacon, I’d probably be a vegetarian.
2. The size of anyone’s fat ass is their own damn fault if they consider this food. Don’t talk to me about genetics.
I cannot speculate what might come next from the marketing department. However, I assure you that I won’t be buying into that load of shite no matter how they spin it. Most marketing campaigns are by design an insult to one’s intelligence. No need to read the label, fine print, or legal disclaimer, folks. The only thing you need to know is that this is DEE-LISH. Mmm mmm mmm. Yessiree, eat up!**
**KFC in no way implies that this item holds any nutritional value and cannot be held liable for the size of your ever-expanding ass, clogged arteries, kidney failure, or any other health problem that might result from consuming the above product. Hey, don’t blame us for your own stupidity.
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All that and I am suprised that you fed your dog cheese! I wouldn’t feed my dogs cheese if it was the last available food substance on the planet, it gives them Atomic-Nitro gas. My freaking dogs eat cheese and they are fart-shooting themselves across the wood floor of our living room, nails scraping trying to get traction. We’d have to turn on the attic fan to save ourselves. Hell no to dogs and cheese. Just my opinion.
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Hey Linda – did they mean brining or marinating… brining is good as long as they rinse off (maybe they don’t) … Brining adds tons of flavor and makes pork and chicken wonderfully juicy! I guess if you don’t rinse it off it IS marinating…
JDL – were you that angry before you ate the KFC? When I was reading your comments to the health foodies I could hear Mike Myers Scottish Dad – ha. On your side dude – but, if I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself. Cheers
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PS — I have no intention of living until I’m 110 and shitting myself silly in a nursing home, just as I have no intention of listening to someone who brought on his/her health problems bitch and moan about how awful coronary artery disease is, the absurd cost of their 20 daily meds, how they are constantly out of breath from lugging around 400 lbs., how their joints ache, etc. etc. etc. Also, and more importantly, I won’t be fetching beer for the aforementioned person because he/she can’t hoist him/herself out of a chair without nearly collapsing from the effort.
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The Colonel’s International Feast!
matzo meal-breaded Halal chicken kebabs over Chow Fun noodles with Indian Paneer filled mini-Quesadillas and Schnitzel-Sauerkraut-Tots and Buerre Blanc dippin’ sauce.
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Lee Harvey, what drink would you suggest with that?
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Not really angry I just came over to Jeff’s site from digg.com and I get so sick of the pompous assholes who read anything fast food related and brag (falsely in most cases) that they haven’t eaten at a fast food restaurant since 19XX and wave that fact around like a black guy in a shower full of Asians.
And people who look at a picture of the Double Down and then make a stupid comment like “better eat that on the way to the hospital” strike me as being the same people who walk up to a 60 year old man with a cigarette in his mouth and ask him if he knows that smoking is bad for him.
Wait, maybe I am angry.
Nope, I used a smiley face emoticon. That means I’m not angry.
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@Brynhildr
“I have no intention of living until I’m 110 and shitting myself silly in a nursing home”
No one has that intention, that was kind of the point.
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Damn! Lighten up kids. What’s the problem? Is it because its Tuesday and not Friday?
Be glad…be happy. You live in America. You could be living in some Third World shithole, standing around in rags watching your sheep die.
It’s a post about a not-so-good fast food selection by a guy that entertains us. He isn’t C. Everett Koop.
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Fanta, of course
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JDL – your foodie rant mirrors my sentiments exactly (but was much better articulated)!
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I’m getting one today.
I think there will be a lot of one time buyers.
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Lee Harvey – LOL… uh…I’m crying here. Thanks dude.
Now I have to explain to coworkers what I’m laughing at.
Chuck – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:KFC_world_map1.png – you can actually get KFC in some of the third world shitholes. USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!
I like the way the comments just teeter on the edge of civility… keeps me all excited. My nipples are about to explode.
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what a meat helmet might look like
http://www.looptvandfilm.com/blog/meatheadhelmet.jpg
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“teabagged by a fat, sweaty pirate”…I think I just peed a little.
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oh wait !!! KFC Crispy Nipples!!!! YES!!!!
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The next product from KFC will be a chicken meat salad. Popcorn chicken for croutons, some sort of red buffalo grilled chicken tomato wedges, plaing chicken breading for lettuce, cheese for cheese, orange mayo for dressing and chicken strips on top to make it healthy. All wrapped up in a hollowed out whole chicken breast, fried, for a bowl.
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” . . . pompous assholes who read anything fast food related and brag (falsely in most cases) that they haven’t eaten at a fast food restaurant since 19XX . . . “
They also don’t watch TV or follow sports or drink tap water.
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Dogberry just defined N&N.
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JDL — my point was that I (like many people) eat healthy not because I want to be 110, but rather that I don’t want to end up like some (too many) people I know why have ruined themselves prematurely and bitch about it to no end. I’m all for accountability. And don’t try to sue Marlboro, McDonald’s, and the like if you did it to yourself.
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Oddly enough, I want to give one of these a try. It looks stangely, tasty.
Lack of bread is appealing to me since I have to watch my total carb intake.
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@Brynhildr
“And don’t try to sue Marlboro, McDonald’s, and the like if you did it to yourself”
See, we CAN find common ground.
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@Dogberryjr
You are correct sir. I think if a study were done, there would be a direct correlation bwtween people who “never eat that crap at fast food places” and people who “don’t even own a TV”.
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@Alex – if you do decide to take the plunge, make sure you secure those intra-breast toppings sir. Otherwise, you’ll have one large blast of saucy, cheesy, bacon goodness and then you are left feeling like a 16 year old girl the morning after prom standing in the shower wondering where her hymen has gone.
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I beg to differ. I never eat that crap at fast food places, yet I have two TVs and rabidly watch sports. Of course, it helps that my intestines explode like a Ryan’s Steakhouse experience every time a greasy fry so much as crosses the threshold. So, kudos to Brynhildr and I’ll go sit and enjoy my nambly-pambly baked potato with a tiny gay butter pat and some socialist chives.
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JDL: Amen!
Carla: I’m with ya on the cheese + dog farts. For my fat pugs it’s…meat AND cheese… like left over beef I make or something. They could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon, seriously. And it lingers in the air like a thick fog. PEE-U!!
KFC scares me a little. There was a rumor that went around years ago that some lady bit into a piece of chicken and found a fucking mouse. Yeah…enjoy your dinner everyone…
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@Jeff Kay – Not sure how much extra it would cost you but you need to put an actual messageboard on your site so your fans can more easily interact.
@hot fuzz- a bacon flavored cream cheese filled fried chicken breast you say?
Right after I fap to the thought of that, I will race you to the patent office.
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My arteries just went into overdrive.
Next KFC offering? A salt lick. Adorned with chicken wings. And popcorn chicken. Maybe tater tots.
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Beak Tenders
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Jeff,
The sauce you were tasting was pepper mayo, which I happen to love on my KFC twister whenever I decide to eat it.
This ‘sandwhich’ is just proof why we live in an obese country. Just looking at that ‘sandwhich’ makes me feel fatter.
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OMG! This whole rant had me laughing out loud. All of you waaay funny today
I don’t go to any of those fast food places either. Waaay too dirty for me. I want my fat and salt clean. I cansalt it and fry it at home, thankyouverymuch.
How about this? Take your KFC Extra Crispy, dip it in chocolate sauce, roll it in bacon bits and fry it again.
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Yeah, it was pretty gross.
Enough salt to pucker a horses ass.
Absentee bacon.
Plastic like cheese.
I ordered without some crusty old man sauce.
I ended up taking all the filling of this horrible attempt at chicken cordon blue or and eating just the sandwich patties. it wasn’t so bad then.
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@ UF Monica
The chicken cordon bleu balls already exist. But they’re not KFC. It’s a frozen catering product. A shell of processed chicken surrounds a filling of hollandaise sauce containing a ham cube. About an inch in diameter each. Very tasty, but don’t eat more than three…
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JDL – ok, I had to look up fap…too funny but using fap in the same thought as creamy filling? And y’all thought it was salty before??
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Fried farts and pickled assholes comes between buns. Hard to put your hands around and more than a mouthful. Impossible to eat while driving and the sauce always shoots out the other end.
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Gosh how i love chicken! But that is just…wrong?
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I think it would be interesting to live to be 110. The shitting myself part, not so much. I think I might have a chance. My grandmother smoked until she was 65, ate whatever she wanted to (Captain D’s is her favorite), never went to the doctor or dentist. She advised me to “take an aspirin and don’t call the doctor.” She just turned 96.
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Just hearing that the crap that’s pictured at the top of this page is okee-dokee for the Atkins Diet tells me all I need to know about the Atkins Diet. My friends and neighbors keep losing like 50 pounds on Atkins, gaining it back in six months, then Atkins-busting the 50 pounds again. So if they time it right, they’ll die young and slim rather than young and fat. Just the thing for the open-casket crowd.
Dammit, I’m trying to freefall out of 2nd place on West Virginia’s Most Wanted (WVMW). I can run quiet when the topic is squirty food, but when I get a free shot at the Atkins scam I have to fire a hurra torpedo.
Turn around, bright eyes.
jtb
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I never thought I’d live to be a hundred
I never thought I’d get to do the things
That all those other sons do, and they do
I never thought I’d live to have my freedom
An age ago my maker was refusing me
The pleasure of the view
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Just so nobody thinks I’m one of the pompous assholes who disturb JDL, I get a burger from McDonald’s twice a year or so, partly in memory of Miss Julia Child, who expressed a desire for a semi-annual Quarter-Pounder. I think the idea is to eat good food, well cooked, in judicious quantities, but I could be mistaken.
Not sure what the Black guy and the Asians JDL referred to are eating these days, but upon the equinoxes, I see people of many races chowing down at McD’s.
I’m re-ensconced as #2. Fuck the living, fuck the dead.
love,
jtb
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Oh, aren’t you just soooo above it all. Puh-lease.
Folks, are you tired of hearing the whiners crying about this wonderful gastronomic miracle?
Tired of hearing people who think that they are nutritionists claiming that all meat is bad for your health?
Tired of hearing the food-spin that is being perpetrated upon the public by Mac-using, whinging, “Corporate America” (as if Apple isn’t a corporation) losers who are just jealous that they can’t eat the Double Down sandwich for fear of their hippie friends’ opinions?
Welcome to your oasis of reason!
We are the Double Down Fans community, and you can view the latest news on the Double Down Sandwich, and post your own experiences with the Double Down Sandwich on our blog.
Find our blog at: http://www.DoubleDownFans.blogspot.com
Email us at: DoubleDownFans@gmail.com
YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/DoubleDownFans
Enjoy yourselves! Love the nutritious payload of life-giving calories that the Double Down Sandwich has to offer!
But most of all, life every day to its fullest, and…
DOUBLE DOWN!
(we are not affiliated with KFC in any way whatsoever. We just love this sandwich with all of our clogged hearts)
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I’ll never ketchup (or is it catsup ) to you, jtb
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There’s a local burger chain (called Crown Burger) here that make a really good pastrami burger and do a great job on their french-fried potatoes as well. I think I know what I’m having for lunch.
Then perhaps I’ll need to go for a run tonite…
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I’m sorry, but I radically overslept today, and didn’t get the update finished. I’ll try to post it early tomorrow. I apologize for my lameness.
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FIRST! to reply after Jeff Kay’s 12:59 comment.
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dropping a duce on this one
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JDL- Jeez, calm down. I am no vegan and I love meat and love the occasional McDonalds and KFC once in awhile, but shit, look at that thing.
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No update today? Eff it, I’m going to McDonalds, getting two Big Macs, then to KFC and getting a Double Down and I’ll make that into one giant sandwich. Wish me luck.
And a Diet Coke.
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@JDL
ROFL! I Now theres a food analogy I’m going to remember.
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JDL…
I reread my comment from last night about Black guys and Asians. I was just rambling, but if you or anybody else construed my comment to imply that you were using a racist metaphor, I apologize. I certainly didn’t mean to imply that, but when I reread the comment it sounds a little snippish or worse. If you read it the way I intended it, no apology is necessary, but I wanted to make sure.
Your rants on this topic are entertaining. Thanks for them….
jtb
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But I withdraw nothing about the Atkins conspiracy. Just sayin’.
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I lost a shit load of weight on Atkins. Of course I put it right back on because those Zebra Cakes are little whores.
The only other time I lost more weight was during my divorce. Nothing will fuck with your health like your marital discord.
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Just checking for an update and every time I see that KFC DD it just makes me want one even more. It’s like looking at a hooker – knowing it’s probably not a healthy activity but the marketing still works on me. But just like a hooker, I’d feel greasy dirty and disgusting after…(I’d imagine since I’ve had neither).
Sorry, Chuck’s comment about the little whores must have worked subliminally on me.
oh, and I learned how to spell deuce…
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First of all, are you absolutely sure that’s chicken? Just wondering.
Wow, imagine what KFC would do to a turducken!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turducken
Probably could only be transported by a tracked vehicle, Boggles the mind.
Today’s quote: “Education is what’s left after you forget all the things you learned in school.” Albert Einstein
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i had a girlfriend that tried atkins. she apparently didn’t get the concept since she thought she could eat all the sausage she wanted.
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And what Esquire magazine has for decades referred to as Wretched Excess, check this out:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/devon/7164860.stm
Jeff, I think in the interests of culinary research, you should take up a collection and have one of these constructed. Just not by anyone from KFC, OK?
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someone just nuked tuna in my secret office.
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“Healthy or not, long life or not, remember this; At the moment you die, your sphincter is going relax like everyone elses and you are going to shit your pants…and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
By that Philosophy does that mean any time mine had relaxed and I nearly shit my pants then, have I had a near death experience?
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is that why they give death row prisoners a last meal?
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My last meal would be something only available half way around the world… that should buy me a day or two. Then I’d change my mind and say I’d have a KFC DD.
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my last meal would be a 30 pack crave case from whitey’s and black coffee. and i’d do the electric chair. i want them to remember the smell of burnt shit and hair for the rest of their lives. if someone quits or sues, all the better.
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t-storm — you should be happy your (ex)girlfriend wanted to eat so much sausage. Or are we talking about food here?
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no b, you got it right but she couldn’t stop, it cost me my job at the Family Research Council.
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I started checking out all the Phil Hendrie clips on Youtube. There is funny stuff there. I like the R.C. Collins bits. And the one about the guy and the pot/tires exploding deal.
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Is the DD better or worse than my own creation: the Four-Cornered Pup and Cud.
1. Take a hot dog (a real plump one like the japanese beef sausage at Kroger).
2. Roll the weiner inside a slice of aged swiss cheese (the kind with holes)
3. Now, wrap this already prizeworthy combo in a half pound or so of ground chuck– or use ground sirloin if you’re health-conscious.
4. Apply the securely beef entombed dog-and-cheese to a preheated grill for about 2 minutes per inch of circumfrence.
5. Prepare a fransisco bun by cutting a v-shaped wedge out of the top.
6. Add your sauces of choice– I go with some kind of dijon mustard.
7. Drop the browned delight (the thing you just grilled) onto the bun.
8. Add two or 4 (heck maybe even 6) slices of maple-flavored peppered bacon.
9. Open that can of Turkey Chili (no beans) that’s been sitting in the back of the pantry. You’ll want to warm this up a bit and then ladle some on top the the mess you’ve got so far.
10. Better get some chopped onions on there so you have some vegetables in your diet.
11. Enjoy with a handful of Sam Adam’s dark lager.
I slept for 22 hours after this experience and had some very interesting dreams. I also spent a whopping 86 minutes in the can after jolting awake. I think I have the “Before-and-After” pictures here somewhere…
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If this gets a C minus, what does it take to get a D? Live rodents?
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next up on the KFC marketing wizards hit parade….
the “KFC apple” …
a ball of deep fried special sauce wrapped in Bacon.
a crunch red skin with a soft saucy middle. Just like a real apple!
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looks like a B plus to me
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I honestly thought thing was delicious, I never had any problems with them, but it may just be the restaurant, the KFC here almost always has good quality unlike some others I’ve been to.
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