On Friday evening Toney, the boys, and I were having dinner in an unfamiliar restaurant. And on the menu they had random items listed in quotations, like “spaghetti and meatballs,” “chicken parmigiana,” and a whole section labeled “desserts.”
And this made me uneasy. Not everything was in quotes, you see, just certain selections. So, what the hell?
What I wanted, of course, was all quoted-up and I asked Toney if I should risk it. She thought I was joking, but I wasn’t. I wanted a personal pizza, not a “personal pizza.” I mean, seriously.
But I finally decided the menu was probably prepared by someone whose reading material consists largely of the TV listings, Funyun sacks, and Facebook. Upon further investigation, I noticed it actually said “dessert’s,” which helped confirm my suspicions.
So, I went ahead and ordered the “personal pizza,” and everything was fine. In fact, it was really good. But while I waited for them to bring it out, I was imagining things that were kinda shaped like a personal pizza, but were, in fact, other stuff.
And boy was I relieved when they brought me an actual pizza, and not, say, a baked merkin. An overreaction? Perhaps. But those quotation marks made me nervous, OK?
I have some bad news for you guys… Nancy and the translucents have canceled their visit. We found out on Sunday. Apparently the big honkin’ battery in their Prius shit the bed, and it costs thousands to replace.
That car isn’t very old, but I don’t think you’re supposed to pack it out with five people, a hammerhead dog, a thousand pounds of LEGO, thirty Hupperware (real Tupperware is too expensive) bowls of breathtaking stank grossness, and a sea of rustling body hair that causes drag. And then… criss-cross the continent in the thing, month after month for years on end.
But what do I know about it?
The bottom line: no new Nancy visit, no new Nancy stories. I apologize, while dancing around in celebration.
And speaking of news, I received a little bit about my “book” last week. Yeah, they want me to do some more work on it… I was disappointed at first, but now I’m kinda looking forward to it, if you can believe it.
Just between you and me, I didn’t feel 100% satisfied with the second draft. Of course I understand I’ll never be completely satisfied with it, but there was a nagging concern about two or three specific things. And now I’m being given the, um, opportunity to fix them.
I was hoping they’d say it was ready to be shown to publishers, but I have a feeling I’ll be thanking them in the long run. They’re tough, but I’ll undoubtedly come out of it with a better manuscript.
So… I’m going to be devoting Thursdays and Fridays to the book again, until I finish the revisions in early to mid-September. I’ll try to post an update Sunday through Wednesday during that period, but it might occasionally slip to Monday through Wednesday.
Sorry, but we’re getting very near the end of this thing. By the time this hell weather starts to sputter out, I think I’ll have a completed novel on my hands. And that still excites the pooplets out of me.
I was talking to a guy on Saturday who has the new Droid X phone. Have you seen that thing? It’s huge! He had it in a red case, and it looked like he was holding an Etch-a-Sketch up to his ear.
He allowed me to play around with it for a few seconds, and it’s a complete monster. The screen is gigantic, and it really is like a small laptop you can stick in your pocket.
For a few minutes I was experiencing Droid envy, but I’m happy with my replacement phone. The first one was a lemon, I’m convinced, because the new one is MUCH faster – especially when I’m tapped into wi-fi. I love it. The shit is fantastic.
But do you have the new Droid X? What do you think? Should I have waited a few months? If so, I don’t wanna know… But tell me, anyway.
For the Question of the Day, I’d like to get your stories about the most embarrassing things you’ve witnessed (or experienced) in the workplace.
When we were in Atlanta one of our co-workers was caught “taking matters into his own hand” in the men’s room, and news of the event spread throughout the building within a matter of seconds. The dumb bastard practically had to leave the state.
A few months earlier the same guy drove his car to a nearby sandwich shop, forgot and walked back to the office, then reported his car stolen at the end of the day. Heh. Same dipshit.
And, of course, there have been several women who came out of the rest room with a yard of skirt INSIDE their underwear. How does something like that even happen? I’m laughing just thinking about it.
But what about you? What are the most embarrassing things you’ve ever encountered at work? It could’ve happened to you, or someone else, it doesn’t matter.
Tell us about it in the comments, won’t you?
And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great day!