Eleven Short Paragraphs About Eleven Different Things
I just received The Social Network from Netflix. Am I going to like this thing? What about Shutter Island? I’m thinking about watching both over the weekend. Is this a four-hour mistake, a two-hour mistake, or a pretty good idea? Provide me some guidance, won’t you?
FYI: I’ll never see The King’s Speech. I was mildly interested, until I found out it had something to do with stuttering. Instant disqualification… I don’t watch heartwarming movies about people overcoming ailments or mental defects. Same goes for films that feature dragons or magical dwarves in wizard hats. What “genre” of film earns an instant disqualification from you?
Today is my last day of work this week, and it’s been excruciating. For months I’ve been working sixty or more hours per week, and now I’m struggling with a puny little thirty hours. I can’t explain it, I can only report the facts. I’m about ready to start kicking in voice boxes.
Yesterday everything was fine, but today I need a haircut. I apparently crossed over some kind of threshold while I slept last night. I call it the Kotter Line, and I’m now north of it. A radical outpatient procedure at Super Cuts is in order. Outta my way people! The patient is fully Kaplanized!!
Over the weekend I want to work on my Twitter and Facebook pages. Facebook especially has been neglected, and I want to do a little weed-whacking and raking, and get things back in order over there. Twitter, too. I like both, but go through periods when I don’t. I want to be more consistent. Is that so wrong?
Speaking of Twitter, I just found out I have a “Klout score” of 37. Is that out of a hundred? Shit. It’s like high school, all over again. Does Mrs. Wagner run that site? Are they going to send a note to my parents? Screw it. I’m just going to go out, drink beer, and break something.
I have roughly a hundred, or possibly twenty, Smoking Fish photos saved to my desktop, which need to be added to the Big Swollen Gallery. Some of them are quite old. Remember the days when I kept up with these things, and posted them within a day or two? Yeah, those were fun times…
Yes, I’m repeatedly slugging myself in the genitalia today. Metaphorically speaking, of course. It happens from time to time, and it’s happening today. Norman Vincent Peale can ram it deep, and on a slant.
My parents gave me a Canon AE-1 camera when I graduated from high school a hundred years ago. I’m thinking about taking it to a camera shop and having it cleaned and checked-out. It’s in great shape, but I haven’t touched it since roughly 1995. Can a person still buy film at a regular store? Is it still in production? For some reason I like the idea of using that great old camera again.
Today I’ve been listening to some obscure records from the late ’70s/early ’80s. Like The Biggest Prize in Sport by 999, and Go For It by Stiff Little Fingers. They’re going down quite nicely, thank you very much.
Speaking of The King’s Speech and music, what are your favorite stuttering songs? I’m going to have to go with “My Sharona” by The Knack, and “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet” by Bachman-Turner Overdrive. What are your f-f-faves?
And how’s this for a big disjointed mess? I’ll see you guys next time, but probably not tomorrow.
Have a great cuppa two tree days!
Filed under: Daily
First
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Romantic comedies. Blech.
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madz1962 Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 2:22 pm
If it’s got Jennifer Aniston, Meg Ryan, or Adam Sandler, you know it’s going to blow spetic tanks of shit.
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Jimbo Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 2:31 pm
I was going to defend Adam Sandler, but then I checked his IMDB listing. He hasn’t had anything decent since 1996. How is he still a Hollywood A-lister?
If I completed mediocre work for 15 years, I’d be working at a McDonald’s right now.
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Limey Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 6:57 pm
Office Space!
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Michelle Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 3:23 pm
Yep. This.
In addition to the list of offensive “actors” on this list, I’d like to include Ashton Kutcher. So much hate.
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 5th, 2011 at 12:15 pm
You know, I sort of like Ashton Kutcher. Isn’t she one of the 2010 swimsuit models? She has a pretty face, but I’ve not seen her act. Hell, she wouldn’t have to act much.
jtb
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Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…..
The Who – My Generation….why don’t you all just f-f-f-f-fade away
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Monica Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 3:30 pm
That was the first to come to mind for me as well…a true classic in the stuttering genre.
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Valentin Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 5:38 pm
Good song.
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My head is spinning.
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Sold my Minolta X370 camera and outfit (lots of lenses/filters, etc) in a yard sale last fall for $30. Apparently, cameras requiring a person to actually put film inside have joined 8-Track tape decks in electronic dinosaurville. Hated to get rid of it, but realized I’d never use it again and was actually surprised it sold.
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Movies based on comic books never fail to disappoint.
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Ian the Errolite Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 9:41 am
I watched the movie ‘Watchmen’ again the other night.
What a film!
here’s a link to a video for Elbow – Leaders of the Free World
made from scences from Watchmen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI7FqWr0U0I
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t-storm Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 3:37 pm
giant blue penis
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Not too fond of the dragon slaying, wizard hat wearing 4-eyed kids, or any kid movies for that matter. Star Wars, Lord of the Rings kind of stuff will send me running too.
Old cameras/equipment are very collectable right now. Kind of goes with the “industrial” look which is hot right now.
We were disappointed in Shutter Island. Thought it would be a real thriller by the commercials. Love Leo. That’s why I saw it.
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 3:16 pm
Well…sort of. I have an old Polaroid I have been trying to sell for cheap for over a month. No takers.
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Shiny Rod Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 8:26 pm
These aren’t droids we are look for, move along my Precious!
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 8:35 pm
Chuck, Shiny Rod has a clever idea here. Take a dark marker and insert a “d” in the middle of the name on the camera. Then take it to your local flea market and sell it as a Poladroid 3.0. Hell, it’s not much bigger than an IPad and, like biker lady says, it’s industrial and it’s hot.
jtb
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 9:16 pm
yeh i know. i’ll just use it as a shelf decoration. no need to be snarky…i know what it is.
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 11:52 pm
Damn, I guess I need to start using those smiley faces you favor to indicate when I’m on your side. Every time I try I come up with stuff like Pi or Gamma which, in context, doesn’t make as much sense as a smiley face. Without claiming I never snark, I think I rarely snark, and never at you.
jtb
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 8:51 am
It wasn’t you, john. don’t mind me anyway…i’ve been in a pissy mood for a week. We need an edit button.
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 9:14 am
OK, I just want to be clear that you are a clever and worthy contributer out here and when I get puckish it’s not because I’m making fun…it’s because I’m having fun. I know that you and the other Senator from Ohio, WB, are not from my political party, but you are both gentlemen and that transcends all other lines. And you’re both damn fine writers and that does nothing but add value to my day. May your pissy mood disolve into the Ohio spring rains.
jtb
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BTO did “You Aint Seen Nothing Yet” with the stutter as a goof becuse their producer(?) had a bad stutter. It worked so well, they kept it and the rest, as they say, is history.
Not a fan of many movies. Avatar seemed like like it lasted 4 days it was so goddamn long and boring.- too long for those blue bastards hogging up my set.
Jeff, a nice roundhouse kick to the trachea should be a great end to your work week.
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“Movin’ Out” by BIlly Joel-
Workin’ too hard can give you a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack…
Would that be considered stuttering?
Instantly disqualified films:
-chick flicks
-foreign films (except Godzilla.)
-”cause” films–like “Super-Size Me”,”Day After Tomorrow” and “Inconveient Truth”. Don’t use the big screen as your soapbox!
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Is “Hey Jude” considered a stuttering song? “na na na nahhh…hey jude.” Maybe not. Bet I bet it would be if it were performed by Porky Pig.
I don’t watch any movies that focus on demonic shit. Scares me. Anything starring Tom Cruise (the cruiser) can go to hell too. I didn’t watch “Vanilla Sky” or “Valkyrie” or anything else that weirdo has been in since “Risky Business”. And that was mostly because of that hot whore that played in the film.
Also, any movie where one white cop and one black cop play off each other as partners to produce what some consider a “zany comedy” can go to hell. Go fuck yourself, Martin Lawrence.
Fucking slacker or stoner comedies (“Dude, Where’s My Car?” and “Wayne’s World” comes to mind).
Musicals!
British “Humor”!
I better stop right there. I’m starting to get all worked up.
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madz1962 Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 2:52 pm
I won’t watch anything with Tom Cruise in it, either. I won’t even quote from “Rain Man” anymore. And dammit, I’m an excellent driver. I back into parking spots.
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Jimbo Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 2:54 pm
I’d have to disagree with you on “Wayne’s World”, but it might be because I first saw it when I was 12. Just curious, how do you rate “Dazed and Confused”? Does that count as a stoner comedy?
Completely agree on all other points though… “Mamma Mia” was on TV a few weeks ago, and I was shocked at how bad it was. I ended up watching the whole thing, just so I could see how awful it was. They should take away one of Meryl Streep’s Academy Awards for that movie.
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Linda Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 3:26 pm
I saw Mamma Mia in a theater with a friend who REALLY wanted to see it. I hated every minute of it. Lots of old people in the audience, and they seemed to love it. I was very disappointed with Meryl Streep for that, too.
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SeeKar Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 2:57 pm
Got to agree with you on the slacker and stoner comedies. Smoking weed and being generally unproductive do not an interesting story make. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Jim Breuer!
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Jason Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 3:09 pm
I don’t know that I ever saw “Dazed and Confused”. I might have, but I tend to forget the titles of movies, and the titles of books, and so on.
I did watch “Pulp Fiction” for the first time a few days ago. And I liked it. I’m way behind the times, way behind. “E.T.” is on my list at netflix.
The movies I saw when I was 12, that I’ve now seen again turned out to be crap. “Outsiders” is one. I thought it was the shit back then, but it isn’t.
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Jason Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 4:17 pm
“Half Baked”. What a shit pile that was.
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bikerchick Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 3:53 pm
Hey Jason: Did you ever end up seeing “The Rite” with Anthony Hopkins?
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Jason Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 4:11 pm
Bikerchick,
No, I took your advice. We’re waiting for it to show on TBS, or whatever.
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bikerchick Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 4:15 pm
You’ll be glad you waited. But it’s all that demonic shit you hate. Not very scary though.
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Jason Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 4:18 pm
Oh, okay. I appreciate that. I like Hopkins, in general. So we’ll see. If it’s too demonic (that shit is real) then I’ll turn it off for midget porn or something more to my liking.
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madz1962 Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 4:29 pm
So basically, you’ll go from “Th Rite” to “The Runt”.
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Jason Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 5:07 pm
From “the rite” to “the runt cunt”, just to be accurate.
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t-storm Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 4:00 pm
the rite cunt?
crunt?
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Gretchen Reply:
March 4th, 2011 at 11:29 am
Crunt and Disorderly.
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Shiny Rod Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 8:29 pm
Then John Lennon’s #9 would have topped the list…
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Juancho Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 11:22 pm
Wow. I could have written that word for word. What he said.
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henderson Reply:
March 4th, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Dude! Where’s My Car? has one of the lines I quote the most…
.. and then? NO AND THEN!
..and then? NO AND THEN!
..and theeeeeen?
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anything with vampires, wizards, magical powers, etc. makes me run the other way. or anything with Meryl Streep in it, for that matter.
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Sci-Fi or Jim Carrey count me out.
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Huh??? What just happened here?
Related to none of these 11 things… at the end of 2010, you had asked us to grade the year. I gave 2010 a solid F, and figured 2011 couldn’t possibly be worse. As of right now, 2011 is ranking an F-, if that’s possible. 2011 might not only fail, but also get sent to the remedial class.
Happy Wednesday, surf reporters!
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talk about being back in high school? There r more questions in this post than the SAT’s. You can’t make me answer them. I have enough answering to do to my wife
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I haven’t seen The Social Network but the reviews are great and Trent won an Oscar for the score. If nothing else, the music will be interesting.
I almost quit watching Shutter Island, I was so bored. The ending was predictable too. To be fair, I watched it on the pc via megavideo…not exactly the best setting to absorb an art film.
I am not a science fiction nerd but a lot of you are missing out on some really great movies by skipping the wizards and creatures movies.
Then again, what the hell do I know? I’m Canadian, I like mayonaise and I back into parking spots.
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tiff Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 8:17 pm
you are, therefore, instantly lovable.
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You can still buy film in most groceries and drug stores, but the offerings are pretty limited. As to the AE-1, it has probably developed the “Canon cough” after sitting around unused for so long, but it’s easily fixed, and in fact you can just ignore it until it starts slowing down the mirror. The light seals on the door might also be goop by now, but that’s an easy fix too. I’m an inveterate Canon FD fan, glad you’re going to dust yours off.
Movies? Romantic comedies. I’ll watch one on HBO or something, but I would never go out to see one.
And Shutter Island? Eh, so-so.
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Fuck the AE-1. I also have one and I’m betting it would cost you more to have it “checked out” than you could get for it on ebay. I loved mine but the Canon digital SLRs save money over the long run on wasted shots and developing unless you do it yourself. Plus, my digital SLR works great with all my old Canon lenses.
I saw Shutter Island and agree with Kevindust except I watched it on a 55 in TV with surround sound and I did fall asleep.
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social network was ok nothing great, i hated shutter island but a lot of people i know who saw loved it so idk. also im not a big fan of the wizard sci fi movies.
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TR Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 3:00 pm
further evidence was the most boring thing i ever read, and classic made me pee my pants.
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 4:24 pm
TR…
Just curious — you hated Shutter Island but it might really be OK because other people who saw it liked it? Hell, man, you’re a Reporter. On account of that, I trust your judgement. Maybe you should too.
jtb
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TR Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 11:01 pm
well honestly i turned it off about half hour into it cuz i thought it was horrible, i couldnt watch anymore but when i told people this they were like omg u should have kept watching it was so great. so maybe if i gave it another chance i would like it but i doubt it.
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Why would anyone want to watch a movie called “Stutter Island”?
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Limey Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 3:04 pm
Is that the heartwarming story of all the people with speech impediments being shipped to Alcatraz?
“None of you losers could ever be The Bir-bir-bir The-bir-bir-bir-bir-Birdman!”, mocks the Governor (played by Adam Sandler).
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 4:21 pm
My God, LHR, I thought it was about a place where everybody has to use the facilities away from home — Shitter Island.
jtb
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Limey Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 12:28 pm
Continuing with the Alcatraz theme, there’s a huge sewage blockage in San Francisco and the only working toilet is on Alcatraz…. people battling the currents and fog to make it to Shitter Island before they have an accident. Edward James Olmos stars as the evil Mexican plumber holding the city to ransom while simultaneously loading the food supply with beans. Clint Eastwood doesn’t make the trip in time reprising his role as Dirty Harry. Music by Randy Newman, including the Oscar nominated song “I’ve Got A Dump In Me”.
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Welcome To The Jungle is a good studdering song.
“Bring you to your na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-knees! Knees!”
Any movie having anything to do with “tuned-out” foreign cars, drifting and/or sassy women can get a piece of fat and slide off!
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Sassy women?
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WB in OH Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 6:02 pm
9-5 is the only one I can think of off the top of my head.
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I suspect you won’t enjoy either film. “Genre” is somebody else’s idea of how films should be catagorized. It takes more than a couple of weeks to get over working too hard and not sleeping enough. I think you’d be a happier person if you had your own regular hair cutter/stylist. I’ve never seen a pissdrop’s worth of value in Facebook or Twitter but your mileage seems to vary and that’s fine. When anyone starts taking concepts like “Klout Score” serioiusly they have decided that it’s just too much hassle to be in charge of their own lives. I, for one, welcome additional entries to the Gallery. There’s a possibility that if you stop slugging youself in the balls, nobody else will jump in to take your place which, it seems to me, would cause your balls to be less of a distraction. Get the old Canon fixed up and go out shooting. I’m just listening to a little Jonathan Yudkin & The Chainsmoking Altarboys — slightly later, similar flavor. I’m with Johnny on My Generation.
jtb
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I don’t watch movies by Ben Afflek or Ben Afflek and a collaborator, and I don’t watch movies about Irish-Americans – especially if the setting is South Boston.
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 4:15 pm
Besides Good Will Hunting, we also have Chasing Amy and Dogma, both terrific movies. Other than that, yeah, they’re mostly shit.
jtb
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chill Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 7:52 pm
And “The Departed” – I enjoyed that, but then I’m a sucker for a good gangster movie. No idea what Ben Affleck looks like, so I couldn’t tell you if he’s in that one.
.
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 8:12 pm
No, he wasn’t in The Departed. He did have a small role in Shakespeare in Love. Could you be thinking of that one?
For further info, consider…
http://www.imdb.com/
.
or just ask the Reporters. I, for one, am always happy to look stuff up in the IMDB for you.
best wishes,
jtb
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chill Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 8:26 pm
I’ve never seen Shakespeare in Love, but I have seen the IMDB. I was just too lazy to look it up before posting, and wanted to have a pre-made excuse in case I was “guilty” of liking an Affleck flick.
.
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Ian the Errolite Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 9:46 am
Body of Lies- that one with Russell Crowe and Helen Mirren, was pretty good.
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Chinese martial arts? Kung Fu? Anything that smacks of Bruce Lee or relies on dream sequences? I can’t get to the remote fast enough.
Same goes for Science Fiction and any movie that has characters with “powers”.
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I read the Dennis Lehane novel the movie Shutter Island was based on and frankly I don’t remember it. So-so I guess. The movie received a sound drubbing in the reviews so I think I will pass. The Social Network? I doubt I will bother.
Good Will Hunting was a decent Affleck movie but only because he had a very small part. He’s like Keanu Reeves. I don’t understand how those two get work.
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You can still get 35mm film, 200 & 800 ASA seem to the easiest to find nowadays.
Having good developing done is a whole other kettle of fish. Seems everybody, even a couple serious camera shops here in town, send film to a place with one of those stupid automatic developing machines.
Films without female nudity is usually enough for me to pass on.
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If it doesn’t have full frontal male nudity then you can count me out. No, just kidding. Nobody wants to see that shit.
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Shutter Island: book > movie
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Kevindust Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 1:59 pm
In 98% of cases: book > movie
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t-storm Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 4:05 pm
you know why I see movies? So I don’t have to read.
Jim Gaffigan
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dto Reply:
March 4th, 2011 at 1:10 pm
So guess one with sub-titles would be right out then?
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t-storm Reply:
March 4th, 2011 at 2:47 pm
Unless it’s Pan’s Labyrinth. Awesome movie!
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Any black and white film produced after 1935 is automatically off the list.
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 7:03 pm
Casablanca, A Day at the Races, Raging Bull, My Darling Clementine, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Big Sleep, Dr. Strangelove, The Maltese Flacon, Double Indemnity, Ball of Fire, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, The Treasure of the Sierra Madre,
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 7:06 pm
Sorry, hit the post key by accident. Anyway, those just of the top of my head. You might not like all of these films (although I do), but I can’t imagine you dislike all of them.
jtb
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 7:38 pm
Young Frankenstein? C’mon!!!
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 7:58 pm
Chuck, I was “reeling” them off and I hit the submit button before I got there. YF absolutely belongs on the great B/W movies list.
jtb
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icecycle66 Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 9:08 am
Yeah, fuck those. I don’t give a crap about your artistry. I’m not gonna burn 90-240 minutes of my life watching some bullshit that doesn’t make it worth my while. If the story is good enough to stand on its own merrits then just use the standard ass film production process to make it.
Not watching the B&W movies are an easy way to not waste my time.
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Ian the Errolite Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 9:47 am
‘The Good German’ was very good too!
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Limey Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 1:17 pm
Clerks!
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Lee Harvey Ramone Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid
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Limey Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 1:53 pm
The Seventh Seal!
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Limey Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 1:57 pm
Schindler’s Fucking List!
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icecycle66 Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 4:06 pm
Indeed, fuck Schindler’s List.
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Ian the Errolite Reply:
March 6th, 2011 at 3:38 pm
I remember seeing that and how long it was and how uncomfortable the cinema chairs were. Now when any movie lasts too long, I say that I’m getting ‘Schindler’s Hip’.
Nobody knows what I’m talking about!
I don’t like watching Jack Black.
Having a monobrow and gurning are not talents.
And that Anne Hathaway is crap too!
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chill Reply:
March 6th, 2011 at 3:54 pm
I learned a new word today, and a good one at that. Thanks, Ian!
.
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 6th, 2011 at 11:00 pm
“You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.”
D. Parker
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Please, Jeff, don’t waste your time with Shutter Island. It’s a horrid piece of crap & Leo’s on-off Boston accent made me want to plunge an ice pick in my ears. Plus, I figured the entire plot out in about five minutes, as I’m sure you will too, so it makes the rest of the film drag on & on for them to catch up with you, the viewer.
I have no interest to see The Social Network, which is odd because I enjoy Facebook well enough, I guess. But, I read an article when it came out about how almost 90% of it is complete fabrication & I hate films that say ‘Based on a True Story!’ for their ads but then they turn out to be “true” according to a creative screenwriter.
My dad is a member of SAG & every year he gets screeners. I held onto The King’s Speech because I didn’t think I’d like it (not into movies that receive a lot of hype) & when the boyfriend & I finally sat down to watch it, we were both pleasantly surprised at how much we liked it. Then, about 3/4 into the film, as we were engrossed, the damn disc started to skip & we had to stop it. My boyfriend thought it was funny that a movie about stuttering began to stutter itself. Heh.
Here are instant disqualifiers for me (movie-wise):
-Jennifer Aniston
-Horror (blood, guts, no thanks)
-Fat black girls being constantly abused by parents & praised by teachers. Precious my ass!
-Tom Cruise
-Demi Moore (after she married into a kindergarten class)
-Her kindergarten husband
-Bruce Willis (he can fuck himself, too)
-Sci-Fi
-Sylvester Stallone
-John Wayne
-Anything directed/produced/made contact with Michael Bay or Ridley Scott
I’m sure there is more but for some reason the brain is failing me now. I’m sure I’ll wake up from a dead sleep screaming something like ‘Elizabeth Taylor!’.
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 5:42 pm
So that leaves you with Wrestlemania and Monster Trucks. Oh…and Johnny Depp.
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Melissa Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 6:51 pm
That reminds me. Add to my list anything including Wrestlemania and Monster Trucks. A redneck I am not.
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 7:08 pm
Chuck, Melissa, I think we’re down to Snow White and the Three Stooges.
jtb
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Greg Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 7:20 pm
That was a good movie.
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WB in OH Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 9:43 pm
Is that midget porn?
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Dave's not here, man Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 11:49 am
Wait, there’s Monster Truck movies??? Where have I been?
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 12:07 pm
Dave’s, it’s even cooler than that if I read Melissa’s comment correctly. Apparantly the trucks are driven by participants in Wrestlemania. Can you dig Hulk Hogan and Jesse (the body) Ventura fighting crime on the streets of St. Paul in Monster Trucks? Soundtrack by Metallica for the action scenes and Ozzie for the romantic scenes. With a walk-on by The Rock?
Let’s get readly to rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr……
jtb
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Dave's not here, man Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 2:21 pm
JTB, you are truly inspiring! A new sport has just been born!! Wrestling in Monster Trucks. Or with Monster trucks, both are superb!
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Oh…and how long will it be before Steve Jobs disappears into his turtleneck?
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 12:09 pm
Don’t know, but it looks like if you want him in a white turtleneck it could be a few years yet.
jtb
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madz1962 Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 1:30 pm
Between that and those filthy jeans – he just shkeeves me. Lose the fookin’ turtleneck, Jobs.
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Movies that fall into those two genres don’t automatically suck, but the odds are very high that they will, nevertheless, suck.
It’s been years since I’ve even attempted to buy film. My poor Ricoh KR-5 Super II has been gathering dust since the moment I brought home the Sony digital, as I knew it would, which is why I waited so long to buy a digital.
I don’t do haircuts.
Ch-ch-changes.
.
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 8:04 pm
Well then with regard to tonsorial spending, you’re forty bucks ahead of me and about six bucks ahead of Jeff, so you have that going for you.
jtb
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I’d give anything syfy (the horrible new spelling) a go, and avoid like the frog plague anything ro-co.
Gah, the fact that it HAS a nickname is absurd and offensive.
Ro-co, that is. Syfy, as stupid an abbreviation as it is, is here to stay.
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chill Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 8:32 pm
Wait a minute. I though syfy was just the name of the cable channel, not the whole genre. The cable channel’s name change gave me the impression that viewers were pronouncing Sci-Fi as “skiffy”, and management wanted to put a stop to that. The pompous asshat critic-types will stick with “speculative fiction”, of course.
And what is this ro-co? Oh wait, it probably means romantic comedy. Jeez, do syllables now cost a million dollars apiece?
.
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 8:39 pm
You can’t give yourself a nickname. If we all refuse to say ro-co, it will go away. So can we agree to desist? I thank you.
jtb
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chill Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 8:43 pm
My refusal was in the bag the moment I saw “ro-co”. I have not ever uttered it aloud, and never will unless it’s part of the word rococo. That is, he in whose pocket the dime was.
.
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Other famous stutterers: Mel Tillis, Jim Neighbors, James Earl Jones. Surprisingly, i found this old commercial of Mel. You can hear him pausing so not to stutter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGLcNR1sWIc
Hmmmm! Now IIIIII, wannnnnt aaaaaa Whataburger!
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I had very low expectations of ‘the social network’ but enjoyed the movie. Hopefully I am not giving the movie away but I came away with a ‘big ole cup of irony’ that a guy who has no friends builds the most succesful ‘friend’ network.
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I have 3 SLR’s, an Olympus, a Canon and a Nikon. I just recently purchased a digital video camera that also takes pictures in normal and wide format. I love the 40x zoom. I can still get all my film needs taken care of at Wolf Camera. They have film speeds from 100 to 1600 and all my favorites. Kodachrome, Ektachrome, and Aerochrome (oops, i wasn’t suppose to let that one out). I also inherited a Mcgruder type film camera, yeah, that one. BTW, one of my new sidelines is Community TV Producer. I have produced and successfully aired 3 shows in 2010. Jeff, lets take about doing a series. Hell, if Shit my Dad Says can get one, dude, you are a shoe in!!!
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Movies land on the reject pile for all sorts of reasons for me. Tom Cruise is in it, it’s from Sweden, it’s a remake of a show from my childhood, it’s got a talking car, etc. But the number one reason for rejection is if it’s a chick flick. LOATHE.
Best stuttering song: Talking Heads, “Psycho Killer”.
And speaking of Charlie Sheen and people overcoming disabilities:
http://www.aolnews.com/2011/03/01/charlie-sheen-offends-armless-person-tom-willis/
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chill Reply:
March 2nd, 2011 at 9:29 pm
I’m ashamed that I didn’t think of Psycho Killer. I was a big Heads fan back when they were active, and I was young.
Gotta go, my bed’s on fire.
.
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Dave's not here, man Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 2:22 pm
How can we sleep while our beds are burning?
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 2:31 pm
Whatever happened to Midnight Oil?
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“Shutter Island” is from Scorsese’s M. Knight Shamalamadingdong Period….hopefully to last only one movie. Visually it was wonderful and there’s one particularly gut wrenching scene, but other than that it’s fairly disappointing. I second Melissa, you’ll figure out where it’s going pretty damn early. And then you’ll have to sit through the rest of the damn film knowing what you know. Also, the music is AWFUL, to the point of being unintentionally funny.
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madz1962 Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 1:37 pm
Scorsese couldn’t figure where to put “Gimme Shelter” in this film!
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David Bowie-”Changes”
Turn and face the ch-ch-ch-changes….
Any movie with Tom Cruise, Tyler Perry, any singer/turned actor, any movie where something blows up within the first 3 min. or anything with vampires/werewolves/wizards/children with black rimmed glasses and magical powers.
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Let’s temper our hatred of “powers” until we’ve seen Mystery Men, shall we? I can empathize with The Spleen. And how many movies have Tom Waits in them? I rest my case.
.
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 12:07 am
Chill…
Not nearly enough, although he has composed a lot of music for movies. One From the Heart should be a terrible movie; instead, Mr. Waits makes it a fantasy. About half way through, I fall all the way in love with Terri Garr such that, these 29 years later, a call from her would bring me speeding to her side. That’s Tom’s way. He might be a Mystery Man, but he’s also a magic man.
jtb
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I don’t do horror films. Period. Messes with my sleeping habits and makes me extra edgy. I’m also not a Jim carrey fan. Same reasons as horror films…he creeps me out.
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I detest all ‘period dramas’. Even the name fills me with dread.
My wife used to subject me to a ‘period drama’ every month, but these days I’ve learned to keep out of her way for a while.
Any movies where men wear wigs and buckled shoes is out.
Any songs by Ppporky Pppig!
What is British Humour (Humor)?
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Jason Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 11:02 am
British Humor might be better described as “British situation comedy”. I think they mostly come on PBS over here. Shows like “Are You Being Served” and the British rendition of “The Office” – I think they’re terrible.
Anything sang by “Alvin and the chipmunks” should also make the list. I heard a song by them at Christmas this last year over and over again. Wanted to blow my brain out.
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 11:42 am
Fawlty Towers – 40 years later and still hilarious.
jtb
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Ian the Errolite Reply:
March 5th, 2011 at 8:36 am
I like the ‘British rendition of “The Office”’ best.-The original, the best, the way God intended! (its got Ricky Gervais in it!)
Are you Being Served is awful. Its a 40 year old turd and shouldn’t be representative of the great laughs that this little island has produced.
‘Laugh out Loud!’
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Ed Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 12:26 pm
I think of British humour as smart comedy that delights in the absurd.
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clintcurtis Reply:
March 4th, 2011 at 10:11 pm
My favorite, ABSOLUTE favorite Brit Com is “Keeping Up Appearances.” Think of it as “The Dukes of hazzard meet the Queen Mum.” It is dumb, it is smart, highly predictable…but always funny!
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I just thought of Porky Pig singing My Generation.
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Anything that Billy Bibbit sings
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When I was in elementary school I bought a 45 from a garage sale called “Crimson & Clover” – I thought it was scratched because it skipped at the end.
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Never, ever, watch any movie with the word “Transformers” in the title.
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Jeff: Are you trying to tell us via the Bunker Cam that the yurt was booked?
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madz1962 Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 1:34 pm
LOL – I was thinking “Like a yurt over troubled waters I will ease your miiiiiind”
(does that fit the stuttering song category?)
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What genre does the “Terminator” fall into? Is it Sci Fi? Or is it an “action” movie?
I was going to throw Sci Fi into the category of disqualified because I think of Sci Fi as B type movies for some reason.
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I can watch any old crap as long as the words “Steven Seagal” don’t feature together in any way.
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clintcurtis Reply:
March 4th, 2011 at 10:16 pm
Just a shot in the dark here, but I’m guessing you didn’t have front row tickets to Steven Seagal’s blues concert at the Tractor Tavern in Seattle a couple years ago? lol!
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mark0510 Reply:
March 5th, 2011 at 5:08 am
I’m trying to think of something worse, but I’m struggling…
Nope. Nuthin’
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Favorite stuttering song is a tie between My Generation and Surfin’ Bird…
pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow
papa-ooma-mow-mow
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Heart of Rock and Roll?
It’s kind of got a stuttering part right? And catchy as all get out.
Dang Me by Roger Miller, maybe?
Movies? Probably chick flicks and anything the wayans or martin lawrence do. Kinda makes me sound racist but I just don’t think that shit’s funny.
Films about historical events that are used as a vehicle for some sort of romance (titanic, pearl harbor).
And movies that when I tell people I haven’t seen it they tell me I have to see it I put on the do not watch list.
Movies I will watch?
Anything from the early 80′s that shows me that no matter how big of a screwup I am I can still get into a sweet party school.
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Limey Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 8:30 pm
Are you channeling Blutarsky?
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t-storm Reply:
March 3rd, 2011 at 8:43 pm
Damn straight.
They took the bar!
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I can’t believe none of you had the same childhood experience I did. My father ruled the television in our house, and he liked westerns. During the late 50′s-early 60′s there were fricken westerns on every goddamn night and we watched every one of them. I can still reel off the names of a dozen of them without thinking. I will never willingly watch anything with cowboy, an indian or a horse in it. Pisses me off just thinking about it. Other than that, no genre is out of the question, just any movie that I can figure out the plot from the title.
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clintcurtis Reply:
March 4th, 2011 at 10:23 pm
Hehehe…I grew up in the same era (actually, it sounds as if we had the same Dad). My old man didn’t NEED a remote control. If he wanted the channel changed, he’s just yell to my little sister to get up and change the channel.
Of course, these were the years before cable, and all we had for reception was a bubious set of rabbit ears perched atop the TV set. On nights with poor atmospheric contions, I or my brother wouls be enlisted to “hold onto the rabbit ears” to enhance signal reception.
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Add me to the list of “Shutter Island” haters. I wasn’t a fan of “Inception” either, probably because I dislike DiCaprio so much. And I was just “meh” about “The Social Network.” I did enjoy “The King’s Speech,” however.
Favorite stuttering songs: “Changes”, “My Generation”, and “M-M-Motor Vehicle” by Philly native Ben Vaughn. You can hear the song here, while watching some doucheketeer’s homemade video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9C_0Tjmamo&feature=youtube_gdata_player
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Oh, favorite movie genres: Japanese monster movies and 50s/60s horror/sci- fi. I also enjoy what my husband describes as “those shitty art house movies.”
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
March 4th, 2011 at 9:12 am
Starman was a classic japanese sci-fi series.
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A great, recent stuttering song that hasn’t been mentioned is “Ch-Check it Out” – The Beastie Boys
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_E4fVLJpgO0
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chill Reply:
March 4th, 2011 at 5:33 am
That’s more recent than The Who et al, but 2004 was a while ago by now. I guess it’s all relative. Still, a good song and a good album.
.
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Gretchen Reply:
March 4th, 2011 at 11:32 am
Oh yeah! Forgot about that. Good one.
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Instant disqualification: Westerns
Klout: 45 but it means nothing really
Loving the Kayisms
(just another neglected corner of thewvsr)
I call it the Kotter Line, and I’m now north of it. A radical outpatient procedure at Super Cuts is in order. Outta my way people! The patient is fully Kaplanized!!
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Shutter Island was good. It grabs your attention and leaves you feeling all creepy afterwards. I was a little dissapointed when I realized it was more of a ‘Beautiful Mind’ concept rather then ghosts, which I originally thought it was from the misleading previews. Haven’t seen Social Network, but its on our list of movies to watch eventually.
I have to come to the defense of Adam Sandler. He does seem to play the same exact person in every movie, but I’d have to disagree that he hasn’t had a good movie since 1996. And seriously, how the HELL do you not like Wayne’s World, Dazed and Confused and Half Baked? They didn’t make you laugh at all? Not once?
Movies I hate – Blood, gore and guts. Made the mistake of seeing Hostel in the theater and am forever scarred by that bullshit.
Best I love – Big Fish, Beautiful Mind, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Notebook (Hate if you will, it’s a good story)
Movies that I love but people seem to hate: Bill and Ted, Anything by Tim Burton, Hot Rod, Billy Madison, and all those movies that I’ve seen everyone hating on. But that’s ok, they make me laugh and laughing good for you.
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t-storm Reply:
March 4th, 2011 at 5:31 pm
I’ll agree with some of the Sandler.
I really liked Funny People.
The Longest Yard was ok.
Mr. Deeds was good.
Punch Drunk Love was good.
Big Daddy was good.
The Waterboy was good (except I hate people doing stupid voices).
The Wedding Singer was good.
And everything else if 1996 or later.
The stupid voices thing is a huge turn off, as well as facial deformities. Choke on your snaggletooth Nanny McPhee.
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Brittney Reply:
March 4th, 2011 at 5:44 pm
Yeah…it is…one I hated was Little Nicky…I’ve tried to give it a chance on numerous occasions that it’s on TBS and I just can’t get into it. I always end up turning it off. Anger Management was one of my favorites. Jack Nicholson whipping a plate of eggs at a wall just makes my day.
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Movies I love*
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is good for you*…GOOD GOD.
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Famous writers’ sheds:
http://www.re-nest.com/re-nest/email/famous-writers-small-writing-sheds-and-offthegrid-huts-140587
Is Jeff’s yurt destined for the same reverence?
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 5th, 2011 at 10:42 pm
Yes, it is.
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_X5zY1uZR5qA/TVGugF7YdEI/AAAAAAAAAZM/eeyLv70-2oA/s1600/yurt.jpg&imgrefurl=http://georgiakemball.blogspot.com/&usg=__MgdjFoQ_WEvcMi0PS105NLbBqiU=&h=396&w=700&sz=82&hl=en&start=44&zoom=1&tbnid=KhzB5dWiJdgagM:&tbnh=107&tbnw=190&ei=YgJzTc6ZFZDCsAOrvOS7Cw&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dyurt%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D802%26bih%3D463%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C2293&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=314&vpy=170&dur=2531&hovh=169&hovw=299&tx=122&ty=84&oei=UgJzTdjzFpGusAPa88GdBw&page=8&ndsp=6&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:44&biw=802&bih=463
.
jtb
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 5th, 2011 at 10:53 pm
Gretchen, just to combine the yurt and the stuttering motifs…
.
And Georgia’s always on my my my my my my my my my mind.
.
jtb
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Gretchen Reply:
March 6th, 2011 at 12:03 am
If that link got any bigger there would be a museum devoted to it.
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johnthebasket Reply:
March 6th, 2011 at 8:01 am
Gretchen…
Do you think the same size Uniform Resource Identifier can be used to locate a yurt a couple hundred clicks north of Tbilisi than would be required to find, say, Forbes Field? OK, bad example, but at the minimum both are as remote as Ozymandias and as desolate as NFL owners’ brains.
Sometimes it just takes a lot of ‘splainin’ to point a browser to the right zip code.
jtb
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I can’t watch anything with Yahoo Serious.
Actually I just wanted to make a Yahoo Serious reference.
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Oh, I got another one! “Poker Face” – Lady Gaga.
Pa-pa-pa-poker face, pa-pa-pa-poker face.
A unfortunately catchy song that includes the line, “bluffin’ with my muffin”. Excellent!
That gal’s nuttier than squirrel shit.
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By my informal count, we’ve used the word genre 18 times on this post, including me twice. Either I’m gonna have to change my name to genrethebasket or we’re going to have to use a little more verbal variety.
If songs in which singers stutter (Peggy Sue, etc) are a genre, I know even less than I thought I did about what that expression means. Fuckin’ French words.
jtb
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the stutter question… anything my b-b-b-boyf-f-f-friend sings. so mean of me… hope he never see’s this
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Gotta be “My Generation” by the Who
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That’s quite an all-Web girl, Alana,
She quickly ripens my banana,
If I were young I’d roll the dice
And face her once and book her twice.
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While we are waiting for the new boxscores:
http://vimeo.com/9970489
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Gretchen Reply:
March 6th, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Holy crap! If had a camera strapped to me for that ride the first thing you would see would be the ramp, then the ground real quick. The dog cracked me up. Can’t believe there wasn’t a wipeout there!
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Ok…me too. I’m in some of the photos (look quick…I’m wearing suspenders) and this is where I’ll be and playing May 1. Las Vegas. And this is a little of what I did. That pretty girl there is Bev…my wife. Vegas Hall of Fame is her next notch. Mine too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zp-c9xyE-SI
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Chuck in Belpre Reply:
March 6th, 2011 at 12:42 pm
Whoa…you my friend are one very fortunate individual. Your wife is a stone fox as the kids say. =8^-) I saw a guy with no shirt and suspenders. Was that you? Is that your bass work in that song? If so, very nice.
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dto Reply:
March 6th, 2011 at 12:50 pm
Thanks Chuck. I’m wearing a shirt. I’m also the the guy standing above Bev in a white jacket in one pic. I’m a trumpet player and that’s Marty Prevette on bass there (now a Nashville cat).
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OK…for some reason I thought you played bass. Must be someone else here. Anyway, nice video.
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dto Reply:
March 6th, 2011 at 7:24 pm
We were a lot better live than the studio stuff. In your face take no prisoners attitude every night.
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Long time reader. Have contributed to the beer fund so consider:
The acting performances/writing and certain scenes in the King’s Speech transcend it above the typical feel good piece.
You will like it. Most of it anyhow. It is NOT sappy.
And it is also terrifically scary to realize, once again, how close England came to having a total jerk as King.
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Immediate Disqualification: War Movies (esp WWII) and most Pre-WWI Eurocentric Period Pieces (you know, where the costumes do all the acting, and no one gets decapitated). God forbid it happens to be both.
Only exception: Dangerous Liaisons.
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