Comments on: Do You Perform Funny Tricks in Your Sleep?

By: Seanette

Seanette — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 01:08:27 +0000

My husband (age 47) wears pajamas. He’s not comfortable sleeping in just underwear.

He reports that we have some really bizarre conversations at times, that I have no memory of the next day. I tend to point it it’s a wonder I slept, what with his snoring.

By: T. Farty McAppleass

T. Farty McAppleass — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:00:24 +0000

I had this dream last night where I was standing in a field next to an old man who was laying in a bed. He said I had on too much cologne and said something about my being naked so I punched him in the neck and ran off. I made my way to a small town and realized I was dreaming so I started seeking out women to molest. I had one down and was almost finished when I heard the cops coming. So I hopped in this old blue truck that was running beside the curb. I lost the cops and ran over a bunch of fences and signs and things like that.

This morning when I woke up I saw a wrecked blue truck in my front yard. Oops. Guess I wasn’t dreaming after all. So I raped you, lady.

By: Kevindust

Kevindust — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:54:23 +0000

I’ve woken myself up with my own snoring. I sleep in boxers or nekkid, it’s always warm in my apartment because heat and hydro are included in the rent.

I scored 100% on the Lifetime Movie or Megadeth Song quiz.

That is all, now back to your regularly scheduled programing.

By: T. Farty McAppleass

T. Farty McAppleass — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:53:35 +0000

I sleep nekkid. I like to sleep on my side with a pillow between my knees, that way I don’t pancake my cock ‘n balls with my massive thighs.

By: Jason

Jason — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:48:26 +0000

I used to sleepwalk when I was a kid. They kept telling me stories about wandering around the house muttering nonsense. I thought it was bullshit. So I started wearing socks to bed. I woke up and the socks were covered in mud. I’d been walking around outside at God knows what hour. Scary! So they fixed locks up high where I couldn’t go out and get raped or hit by a car or whatever. As far as I know the sleepwalking stopped when I was around 15.

My 3 year old sometimes “sleepwalks” in a way. I’ll go by her room and she’ll be sitting up in bed staring at the wall, babbling nonsense about apes and toothbrushes and shit like that. It’s creepy to see.

I was always told not to wake up a sleepwalker because they’d have a heart attack or something. I guess the shock of falling asleep in bed and then waking up shooting pool would freak some people out. I doubt it would cause a heart attack. If I’m ever in a situation where I see a stranger sleepwalking I’m going to wake him up and see what happens.

My wife snores (now that she’s preggers) when she lays on her right side – but not on her left side, for some reason. I admit that I snore now that I’ve put on an absurd amount of weight. Richard Simmons is going to be crying over my bed on television any day now.

Another weird thing about my wife’s sleeping habits is that she “jerks” as she’s falling asleep. She’ll start dozing off and her leg will yank like she’s trying to kick a soccer ball or something. It used to scare the shit out of me but now I wait for her to stop having seizures before I try to fall asleep.