Dinner Down My Shirt, and Words That Make Us Cringe

Last night at work I bought a cup of chicken noodle soup from the cafeteria, and promptly dumped a load of it down the front of my shirt.  Everybody had a big laugh at my expense (assholes), and I tried to put on a good-natured act of exasperation.  But I was secretly seething with anger.

I hate when people slop their food around, and am very careful not to be that guy.  I’ve developed certain methods through the years, designed to minimize the possibility of becoming a goddamn slob at mealtime.  And I’ve gotten pretty good at it.

Some people lean way back, like they’re in a recliner, and transport spaghetti or gravy-laden meat a great distance to their mouths.  And by the end of the meal they look like they just painted a bedroom.  Or they’re always splashing stuff.  Have you seen this?  For whatever reason, they can’t effectively engineer the use of a fork, and keep dropping heavy beef-bombs into their broth, or whatever.

But that ain’t me.  And on the rare occasion when I do get food on my clothes, I hate it.  I beat myself up, and shout hurtful things inside my head: “What are you, retarded?  You can’t move a noodle twelve inches without triggering mayhem?  Why not rub a little chili in your hair while you’re at it…?”

I wiped off my shirt, with steam blasting from my ears, and within fifteen minutes everything looked OK.  But I smelled like soup.  And I’ve been very clear through the years that one of my daily goals is to smell like nothing.  I’m not a fan of the colognes, or any of that faggy nonsense, and don’t want to smell like an appetizer, either.  I felt like I was sporting a new fragrance called Comfort by Campbell’s.

Sure, if I absolutely had to smell like something, there are worse things than chicken noodle soup.  Like… oh, I don’t know… August ass.  But that’s missing the point.

And this soup-slopping episode pretty much ruined my evening.  I never fully recovered, and didn’t treat people very well for the rest of the shift.  I caught a few of them exchanging glances, and throwing shoulder shrugs that pantomimed, “Hell if I know, he’s just being a bitch tonight.”

Yeah, I’m a little tightly-wound these days.  What of it?

But I’m off from work until Monday.  How cool is that?  I’ve been doing six ten-hour days per week, since October.  And now I’ve got four and a half days off – in a row.  Oh, it’s gonna be fantastic.  I’m going to sleep a little more than normal, watch some TV, spend Saturday with the family, and (gulp) hand over my “book” to the formatting chick.

And, quite possibly, enjoy a few adult beverages along the way…

I’m going to leave you now with a Question we’ve tackled several times.  But I think it’s important to revisit it occasionally, just to keep our fingers on the pulse of the bitterness.  In the comments section, please tell us what words make you secretly grit your teeth with aggravation.

I’m not talking about idiotic phrases, or corporate-speak, or mispronunciations, or anything like that.  I mean simply…. words that bother you.

I hate (HATE!) the non-word meh.  It’s trendy and stupid.  Nobody used it five years ago, but now everybody’s jumping on the bandwagon, and it triggers a full-body flex every time I see it.

I also hate the word supper.  I don’t know why, but I do.  Same goes for commode.  What is this, Dust Bowl-era  Oklahoma?  It’s dinner and toilet.  Usually in that order.

And now I’m going to turn it over to you guys.  What words bother you on a primal level?  Please use the comments link below.

I’ll be back in a few days, after I’ve manned-up and let go of my manuscript.  I don’t know when that will be, but I’ll wipe the tears from my eyes and crank out a new update as soon as possible.

See ya then!

Now playing in the bunker
Support the cause with beer!

229 Responses to “Dinner Down My Shirt, and Words That Make Us Cringe”

  1. 1st

    [Reply]

  2. Coupon

    [Reply]

    Emily Edwards Reply:

    bothers me when pronounced cue-pon, but not when pronounced coo-pon

    [Reply]

    fryguy Reply:

    was always pronounced cue-pon where I lived, never heard of it called coo-pon till I left Indiana. There is a u in the word….

    [Reply]

    Ian the Errolite Reply:

    ‘coupon’ used to be used instead of ‘face’ round here a few years ago. eg ‘ she has a coupon like a bulldog chewing a wasp!’

    [Reply]

  3. First seems to be an unpopular word around here by some.

    [Reply]

  4. Meh?? And where do you see this? And how is it pronounced?

    [Reply]

    Swami Bologna Reply:

    See here, Eugene:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meh

    [Reply]

    Eugene B. Sims Reply:

    Thank you, Swami. That clears it up. I have not heard it or seen it around my parts.

    [Reply]

  5. “conversate”

    idiots!

    [Reply]

  6. Any form of the word “soothe” makes me want to stab someone.

    [Reply]

  7. “Whatev”–when I hear that I want to go all Chuck Norris on people! Maybe because my kids say it me all the time, I don’t know…

    Also, anytime they combine celebrities’ names (e.g. “Brangelina”) makes the little vein on my forehead pop out!

    [Reply]

    Root 66 Reply:

    “say it TO me”, Sheesh!

    [Reply]

    madz1962 Reply:

    Or the condensed names:

    JLo
    LiLo
    BlowLo

    all set my teeth on edge.

    [Reply]

  8. I guess Mr. Kay would not be a big fan of Burger King’s “BK Flame” Cologne, now would he?

    [Reply]

  9. I love words – all of them. There are some I would never use, like “supper”, but it doesn’t run all over me if someone else says it. People think it’s funny when I say “restroom” to describe our own home throne rooms (as opposed to bathroom). But, I do say “bathroom” occasionally, so I guess I’m not too weird. LOL.

    [Reply]

    Ian the Errolite Reply:

    we use ‘supper’ here to signify a small snack before bedtime like cinnamon bagels and butter or something. We never ever substitute it for ‘dinner’. That would be insane!

    [Reply]

  10. moist
    precious
    darling

    [Reply]

    Ed Reply:

    I’m aroused…

    [Reply]

    Knucklehead Reply:

    ew – moist.

    I hate that one, too.

    [Reply]

    WB in OH Reply:

    How do you describe delicious cake if you don’t like the word moist?

    [Reply]

    Gretchen Reply:

    This delicious cake ain’t dry at all!

    [Reply]

    johnthebasket Reply:

    Annie, this is some de-licious wet fuckin’ cake.

    [Reply]

    Gretchen Reply:

    Damn, that’s a nice humid cake you got there.

    [Reply]

  11. uber.

    [Reply]

  12. Basically. That word gives me the deuce chills.

    Also, people who repeatedly say “Ya know” and “know what I mean” during conversation just rubs the skin off my ass.

    [Reply]

    CitizenX Reply:

    Oh Yeah and especially when they spend 5 minutes saying nothing during such waste of audio

    [Reply]

  13. I have four days off too. I haven’t been off on Saturday and Sunday in maybe two years.

    “Supper” bugs me, too – it sounds like someone slurping soup through their teeth.

    [Reply]

  14. I actually prefer the word “supper” over “dinner”. Supper is unmistakably at the end of the day, whereas I’ve had people argue with me over whether dinner was the noon or evening meal.

    [Reply]

  15. I use the word supper and commode and pop.

    So, that is just how I am, meh.

    [Reply]

    Gretchen Reply:

    In the same sentence? Gotta cut back on the Mexican food.

    [Reply]

  16. “whelp” as in i broke our in whelps all over my body. Unless that person is covered in puppies the word they are looking for is welt.
    and the pronunciation of dilate, as dilitate. Drives me nuts.

    [Reply]

  17. *out* broke out in whelps…

    [Reply]

  18. Hubby
    Hubs
    Putting “the ” in front of any name … “the wife”, “the boy”
    Folks
    Ditto
    Kiddos (elementary teachers LOVE that one)
    Kudos
    Per se
    -ster or -nator on the end of any name (the hubster, the hubbynator))

    I’m getting pissed just thinking about it

    [Reply]

    madz1962 Reply:

    “hubbynator” would have me reaching for some ammo.

    [Reply]

  19. I have no aversion to any word by itself. Mispronunciation born of ignorance drives me crazy.

    My mother-in-law for example, likes to look at “pitchers” in photo albums, and has a neighbor with one of those giant dogs- a “mastic” in her words.

    That shit drives me crazy.

    And on an unrelated note, we’re getting another 4-8″ of snow here tonight and I’m sick of it. I’m willing to pay good money to anyone who can provide me with Mother Natures’ address. I’m going over there and kicking her in the nuts.

    [Reply]

    Chuck in Belpre Reply:

    I have some acquaintances who use/pronounce words incorrectly. It’s like talking to Norm Crosby. Drives me nuts and I feel like a dick if I correct them.

    [Reply]

    wvanva Reply:

    My 6 year old wanted to have a little talk with Ms. Mother Nature this week. He is tired of having to put on his coat and made it very clear.

    [Reply]

  20. I hate all words. I try not to use them.

    [Reply]

  21. the long drawn out “reaaaally” as in

    He’s reaaallly reaaaaaally stupid”.

    Same with the word “so”

    It was sooooooooo important!”

    (let me think of more because I reaaaaaally want to sooooooooo do this.)

    [Reply]

    Patty Reply:

    Irregardless (not a word and makes me see red)

    [Reply]

    strangeart Reply:

    Just come back with “diserregardless”. Even worse of course, but it blows their minds.

    [Reply]

  22. i have a friend who hates the word moist.
    i also hate supper. belly button used to bug me.
    i know a girl who hates the word pussy and tits, so her nickname is pussytits.

    i’ll have to think on this one, and I have done the recliner eating thing and always regret it.

    [Reply]

    Juancho Reply:

    hilarious.

    [Reply]

    cashoe Reply:

    Was your friend a fan of the show “Dead Like Me?”

    [Reply]

    t-storm Reply:

    Not sure, but I am. I’d kill that girl with a toilet seat any day.

    [Reply]

  23. I used to get worked up at corporate buzzwords. “Proactive ” gave me shivers. Now my senses have been dulled by both an excessive number of meetings and a lot of beer. Unfortunately not at the same time. Sorry Jeff, I would have laughed my ass of at watching you wearing a can of soup.

    [Reply]

    Linda Reply:

    I think this is a corporate phrase, but people have been saying “reach out” instead of call.

    If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to reach out to me.

    hate that.

    [Reply]

  24. delish

    [Reply]

    WVULauren Reply:

    Good one.

    [Reply]

  25. I still remember an old friend of mine’s most hated words. We used to chant them at him until he pulled a pillow over his head so he couldn’t hear:
    Panties
    squat
    moist
    sheath

    He also thinks mayonnaise is the devil’s condiment.

    I recall REM’s Life’s Rich Pageant album. Side 1 was “dinner side” and side 2 was “supper side”. Doesn’t really work with a CD I guess -

    [Reply]

    J Patton Reply:

    I love this! I hate all these words too!

    [Reply]

  26. Chillaxin’. AAAAAAAUUUGHHHHHHHHHH!

    [Reply]

  27. Escape-goat
    mute point
    smart-shoring

    and yesterday flipped a whole egg with cheese on my white workshirt BEFORE work. I guess it matched the coffee I drooled all over my collar – those assisted living places are starting to look good

    [Reply]

  28. Since you asked, I hate the use of faggy and other derivatives of faggot. I’m hoping it goes the way of racial slurs – I know it won’t disappear completely, but decreased acceptability would be a good start.

    [Reply]

    Gretchen Reply:

    I second that.

    [Reply]

    fattie20xl Reply:

    I consider faggy to be a cussword. I’d make you eat hotsauce (like I do w/ my gf’s kid) for that… but we all still love you jeff!

    [Reply]

  29. Oh, I have a list – a very long list – of words that stick in my craw. “Craw” is on there.

    [Reply]

  30. Egads, you’d absolutely loathe me. I’m so bad I have to clip a paper towel onto my shirt with one of those big black binder clips during lunch. Very attractive. Might have something to do with the fact that I’m always doing something else while I’m eating. Reading. Talking too much. Waving the spoon like a baton. Answering the phone.

    Speaking of adult beverages: My husband and I have noticed a rather disconcerting phenomenom with the Craft beer we prefer these days. Dogfish Head 60 Min IPA and Sweetwater IPA give us both the most horrible of flatulence problems. We tried some Sam Adams Noble Pils this week to see if caused it like the craft –no problem there. Just us old farts or anyone else noticed same?

    I also call supper supper.

    [Reply]

    emily Reply:

    Love IPA’s but have a similar problem. I call it the laxative of beers–never understood the term beer shits before drinking craft IPA.

    [Reply]

  31. bro

    [Reply]

    Jack Reply:

    Brah

    [Reply]

    WB in OH Reply:

    or bruh

    [Reply]

    Nurse Ratched Reply:

    or dude

    [Reply]

    chill Reply:

    That’s a Hawaiian thing from way back. Only recently have I heard my fellow haoles using it, and it’s not pretty.
    .

    [Reply]

    Kevindust Reply:

    Now I’m going to watch the Fast and Furious series, brah

    [Reply]

  32. Cummerbund. Yuck.

    [Reply]

    Manslapper Reply:

    Oh god why can’t I stop laughing?
    Also, kumquats.

    [Reply]

  33. “Team” used in the workplace for members of a department. Drives me up the wall.

    [Reply]

    Alex Reply:

    related: ‘Team Leader’. Fuck that shit, (s)he is still the SUPERVISOR, a change of title ain’t gonna make me like him or her any more than I already do. I work independently, there is an *I* in my team you cock gobblers.

    [Reply]

    Knucklehead Reply:

    There’s no ‘I’ in ‘team, but there’s an ‘m’ and an ‘e’.

    [Reply]

  34. I hate the word ALIMONY.

    Hey WVSR readers. Please welcome Henderson Edwin to the planet. 8 pounds 8 oz, 22 inches, born at 4:04 on 2/22/11.

    [Reply]

    Gretchen Reply:

    Congratulations!

    [Reply]

    madz1962 Reply:

    Congratulations and Best wishes! Nice to read some happy news.

    [Reply]

    t-storm Reply:

    did he come out and say “first!”?

    [Reply]

    Chuck in Belpre Reply:

    Better get some sleep now. You’re going to need it. ;)

    [Reply]

    CitizenX Reply:

    Welcome to the world Henderson! Here’s hoping you will be a productive human resource.

    [Reply]

    clintcurtis Reply:

    Congratulations, henderson. And remember to mind your P’s and Q’s,,,because the only thing worse than the word “Alimony” are the words “Child Support.” lol! Enjoy the years with the child, appreciate every moment, because they really do grow up so fast!

    [Reply]

  35. “fabulous”–any male who utters this word should be kicked in the nuts…

    [Reply]

    stuart Reply:

    Any male who says that doesn’t have nuts!

    [Reply]

  36. “impact” when “affect” is called for or, godhelpus, “impactful.” Let’s leave impaction to bowels.

    [Reply]

  37. I can’t stand the word sweetie!!!! Totally want to go crazy when someone calls me that. It seems very fake and makes me think that the person is trying to butter me up for some reason. I even hate it when people us it to address children.

    [Reply]

    Linda Reply:

    I hate it when someone younger than me calls me sweetie.

    [Reply]

    Sugey Reply:

    I thought I was the only one who felt that way! Its so condescending, its like they think you’re helpless. I’ve talked to others my age about it and they said it doesn’t bother them but it irritates the liven’ daylights outta me.

    [Reply]

    t-storm Reply:

    Well, aren’t you?

    [Reply]

  38. YOGURT.

    And to a lesser extent yert. It just sounds dirty.

    pantyliner – blech.

    bieber

    [Reply]

  39. staycation and daycation. Enough with these cutesy sounding words.

    hump (sexual reference)

    [Reply]

  40. “actually”
    total Meh

    [Reply]

  41. Blessed
    Pussy
    Tootles

    Other words that I hate but were already said:
    Uber
    Chillaxin

    [Reply]

    t-storm Reply:

    Last time someone told me to have a blessed day I took a shit in their fake potted plant.

    [Reply]

    CitizenX Reply:

    GAH! Totally hate “blessed day” Nice Call!

    [Reply]

    Brittney Reply:

    Yeah…especially the ones who have been ‘reborn’ and after a long life of drugs and obesity get clean and lose some weight and are suddenly blessed. You’re not blessed goddammit, you are smart!

    [Reply]

    t-storm Reply:

    Don’t you know? If you fuck up it’s your fault and the devil but if you do something good it’s not under your control.

    Because Jesus loves you, and God, and the bible.

    [Reply]

    madz1962 Reply:

    Yeah, that’s definitely a 12 stepper term. We used to have lunch behind a Methodist Church and they’d come out of their AA meetings telling us to have a Blessed day. One (kinda) naive freiend asked me how I knew they were AA’ers. I said “Maybe the ‘Honk if you like Heineken’ bumper sticker gave them away. “

    [Reply]

  42. I love the Office episode where Michael calls Oscar faggy.

    Also the wanda sykes commercials where she calls out people for using the word gay derogatorily.

    words is words.

    [Reply]

  43. Delish. Drives me to a rage everytime I hear it. Whassamatter, one more syllable too much for your pea brains to handle?

    [Reply]

  44. “Wharf” and “Scarf” have bothered me since childhood. It also bothers me when someone has a surname that is made up of two words with similar meanings, like “Moneypenny” or “Cashdollar” or “Goodkind.” I don’t know why. The word “lobster” always made me snicker when I was a child for some reason…

    [Reply]

  45. Delic (pronounced delish) instead of saying delicious. My bitchy aunt always says ‘Oh that’s so delish!”

    >:(

    [Reply]

  46. Prolly
    Niice

    Those words are like nail on a chalk board to me.

    [Reply]

  47. I hate the word “treat” very much. “Oh, Sue is coming over. What a treat!” Burn in hell.

    Have you guys seen the commercials where they dump some soup over white rice and call it a meal? It’s bullshit, trust me.

    [Reply]

    clintcurtis Reply:

    …or the commercial where they dump a can of Campbell’s vegetable beef soup over a pile of thawed out store bought mashed potatoes for “under $4.00″ Yeah, add a bottle of cheap wine and we’re really sh*ttin’ in high cotton tonight!

    [Reply]

  48. There’s a guy I listen to on the radio in Cincy who fucks up words all the time.

    He would say Needlemeyer (in ref to Animal House), like that guy’s being a needlemeyer. I corrected him and told him it was Neidermeyer but nothing changed.
    Grrrr.

    Also warsh, and calling green peppers mangoes bugs me.

    [Reply]

    T. Farty McAppleass Reply:

    I’ve never heard of anyone calling a green pepper a mango. But I’m very upset about it now.

    [Reply]

    Gretchen Reply:

    HATE “warsh”.

    [Reply]

    clintcurtis Reply:

    Gretchen, I am so with you on “warsh.” I grew up in Washington (the state) and it just grated on me when I heard people pronounce the name of the State, “Warshington.” Yeah, they knew the name of our first President was “Washington,” yet the State named after him is somehow pronounced “Warshington?”

    [Reply]

    WB in OH Reply:

    I never picked up on bulldog pronouncing Neidermeyer wrong but you’re right. Maybe it’s because I say warsh, or worsh. I also will end a sentence with “not” which immediately narrows down where I’m from. But all I can do is try to do better, not?

    [Reply]

    westersteve Reply:

    For the longest in we called them mango peppers
    guess it’s a regional thing

    [Reply]

  49. Putting the word “man” with something makes me sick, it sounds so homosexual. Man cave, man door, man hole, etc.

    Lots of people don’t like the word “cunt” but I’m quite fond of it.

    [Reply]

    t-storm Reply:

    I’m very fond of cunts, too.

    I do however like the term mancunt, or shortened to munt.

    [Reply]

    Knucklehead Reply:

    I don’t mind the work cunt, but I HATE the word pussy.

    [Reply]

    Knucklehead Reply:

    Uh, that would be ‘word”

    [Reply]

    t-storm Reply:

    Brittany had the work cunt

    [Reply]

    madz1962 Reply:

    I meet more and more cunts every day! Perfect description. And a nice, forceful word “That CUNT just cut me off!”

    [Reply]

    Brittney Reply:

    LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did have the work cunt, good call T.

    [Reply]

    Knucklehead Reply:

    I’m SO with you – some of my girlfriends hate when I use that word.

    Cunts.

    [Reply]

    Dave's not here, man Reply:

    One of my wife’s friends tried to use the word cunt one time, but all she could manage to say was, “..cu… cu… cu… BITCH!”

    So that’s a fun chant we use to torture her now.

    [Reply]

  50. People saying “expresso” for espresso.
    Come to think of it, anyone ordering either espresso or ‘expresso.’

    [Reply]

  51. Good Evening Surf Reporters…..

    The word “potty”. Have hated it since the day I could comprehend the English language. When an adult addresses a child; annoying.
    When an adult (usually a woman) says “I have to go use the potty…” I’m getting uptight just typing this.

    [Reply]

    T. Farty McAppleass Reply:

    Last time I heard a woman say that I thought she said, “I have to go to a party”. So I asked her if I could go too and she said yes. We went to the restroom and she pulled em down to her ankles and started pissing while I stood there. Very awkward. I tried to make small talk, but no dice.

    [Reply]

  52. ideal. As in I have an ideal…

    [Reply]

  53. Even though one of the internet dictionaries says “surveil” is a verb, and has been around since 1917, it’s not. It’s part of the word surveillance. I’ve never surveiled anyone or anything. Hate that bastard.

    [Reply]

  54. Bounce, meaning to reboot, as a computer or similar device.

    Liaise. I might have misspelled this non-word; it’s a semiliterate back-formation of “liaison”. Same deal as “surveil”.

    Play-date.
    .

    [Reply]

    Greg Reply:

    I think I hate liaise more than surveil.

    [Reply]

    Kevindust Reply:

    Liaise is a word and a good one at that. The Concise Oxford Dictionary defines liaise as “establish cooperation, act as a link.”

    What is with all the hate? I believe it has more to do with popular usage and pronunciation than the word itself.

    [Reply]

    chill Reply:

    It’s a word, in the sense that it is a recognizable sequence of letters. I only ever hear it spoken in a context of tortured, barely coherent corporate-speak, hence the hate.

    And it’s not in the OED.
    .

    [Reply]

  55. chimnley
    baby daddy
    worsh
    stop

    [Reply]

  56. I absolutely loathe the word “panties” and want to embark on a five-day shooting spree whenever someone utters it. It sounds like some kind of fancy diaper for infant girls. “Underwear” is the much preferred term.

    [Reply]

    t-storm Reply:

    Clit Cradle?

    [Reply]

  57. I’ll tell you what bugs me, the hordes of otherwise (allegedly) educated people that pronounce across with a “T”. When it comes out as “acrosst” I start getting irritated.

    [Reply]

    Satanic Pig Reply:

    Also the tools that think there is such a thing as a prostrate gland. I think that’s only available when you’re lying down.
    Oh yeah, and the operation you give to your female cats to sterilize them. “I had Cassie spaded last month, don’t want any kittens around here you know.”
    And then there the “back in the day crowd”. Sheesh!

    [Reply]

  58. The word “stakeholder”. Sucks. What are you, hunting for vampires?

    “Mission Statement” – a relic held over from the 1980′s. Take your mission and shove it up your statement.

    Of course, being a suburb of Pittsburgh (of sorts), we get to use all sorts of questionable words. Yinz = you’ns = you people; the ever-popular Jeet jet = have you eaten yet. And then there is ” ‘n at” which is a catch-all phrase, as in, “We’re goin’ to the mall ‘n at. Are yinz goin’?”

    [Reply]

  59. Stuff younger people say..

    “beast”- if something is good
    “game game”- contest over

    misused,corporate & new agey…
    existential
    surreal
    tantric
    guru
    synergy
    paradigm
    sublime
    literally
    metrics

    also just pompous…
    actually/technically
    fatuous
    secular

    guilty…
    meh
    dude
    faggy

    and…
    shunt

    [Reply]

    lakrfool Reply:

    SHUNT doesn’t get any better when you look up the definition

    [Reply]

    chill Reply:

    The real definition of shunt (in my world) is an electrical thing that is wired in parallel. This derives from railroad usage, where a track might be split off from the mainline and rejoin later. A shunt-wound electric motor is very stable in its speed of rotation, which makes it a good choice for your turntables, tape decks and clocks. In contrast, series-wound is better for high starting torque, so use that for vehicles and elevators.

    Oh. I see what urban dictionary says. Definition 3 is indeed supremely nasty.
    .

    [Reply]

    lakrfool Reply:

    I was talking about the medical definition for “shunt.” Urban Dictionary takes to another level entirely.

    [Reply]

  60. It seems that many are saying “flustrated” or “flusterated” when they mean, of course, “frustrated”. Or do they really mean “flustered”?

    [Reply]

    Jorge Reply:

    or fustrated. I hate that one, too.

    [Reply]

  61. Did it stop raining in the Great Northwest? Did jtb dry up and blow away?

    [Reply]

    chill Reply:

    Maybe it’s still raining, and he warshed away.
    .

    [Reply]

  62. Not that I think you’ll read this (after 105+ other comments) but I HATE the word “awesome”. It sneaked into the language somehow, and it isn’t really a word (or wasn’t). Now it is overused by nearly everyone and in my opinion, it pegs people as dumb. It is worse than “meh” and “whatever”, but they run a close 2nd and 3rd.

    [Reply]

    t-storm Reply:

    awesome is in the bible.

    [Reply]

    Dave's not here, man Reply:

    Kenju missed the last train to awesometown!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDpqQCieKJg

    [Reply]

  63. My girl’s mom has a british mother but both her and her mom and her grandfather are American as Apple Paltrow. It drives me crazy when she says mum, or auntie, or rubbish, or film instead of movie.
    What you see at Sundance is a film, Die Hard is a movie.

    [Reply]

    madz1962 Reply:

    Fancy that!

    [Reply]

    Lee Harvey Ramone Reply:

    The word ‘movie’ is used so that you know that you are not viewing a photograph (which according to that logice should be referred to as a ‘stillie’)

    Man, I hate the word ‘stillie’

    [Reply]

  64. And “You’ve Got Mail” is a flick, of the chick variety.

    Disclaimer: To all females present: I myself do not use the word ‘chick’.

    Anymore. (I was re-trained by wife Barb, she of the short fuse.)

    OK, so it’s film->movie->flick->video->loop->clip. That right?

    Just remembered: “Don’t go there.” is starting to annoy me.

    [Reply]

    Dave's not here, man Reply:

    You forgot porn. No need to say porn movie or porn film – just porn will suffice.

    [Reply]

  65. Preggers. That shit needs to stop. Preggers. What dipshit thought up that word. Or Preggo. I hate those words. I also dislike meh. It’s like you think you are so cool. Meh. Well, Fuck You. Meh. I hate it with the heat of a thousand suns.

    [Reply]

  66. Not rain so much as snow. Six inches a day for something over two days. I keep a supply of smokes and Hostess Cupcakes (west coast equivalent of Little Debbies’) and other essentials and so far haven’t had to send a squad of cats into the night for supplies. I was driving home sometime after midnight on two inches of ice covered by two inches of powder. No real steering control or brakes. I keep a five iron in the front seat to be used as sort of a rudder, and for hooking utility poles when whipping into the 7/11 lot. I was slicing as usual.

    The real challenge, as always, is keeping my rubbers dry.

    Thanks for thinking of me, Chuck.

    More soon.

    jtb

    [Reply]

    clintcurtis Reply:

    Warsh your mouth out with soap, jtb…Hostess cupcakes are NOT the equivalent of Little Debbie!!!!! Hostess is the Cadillac of snack cakes, Little Debbie is the Kia.

    [Reply]

    chill Reply:

    What he said.

    And I don’t know what’s so West Coast about Hostess… it’s been widely available in all the East Coast places I’ve lived. But if Hostess is the Cadillac, then Drake’s is the Mercedes. Don’t get me started on Freihofer’s cookies.
    .

    [Reply]

    johnthebasket Reply:

    You guys are right about Hostess products. I thought there was some regional loyalty to Lil Deb, and I was trying to be my usual sensetive self. But fuck it, Debbie can deep throat some Hostess Twinkies with me tonight whilst the snow gently falls.

    jtb

    [Reply]

    chill Reply:

    LD does (or did) have a somewhat suggestive advertising slogan: “Little Debbie has a treat for you.” I’ll bet she does, that See You Next Tuesday.
    .

    [Reply]

    clintcurtis Reply:

    Yes, Hostess is national…HOWEVER… If you want a really, really good Hostess Lemon pie, you will find it all over Washington, Oregon, and California. The ones in Alaska suck. You can sometimes find a good one in WV…but it is spotty. Cherry pies are pretty much the same goodness all over. Twinkies, I believe, are delivered to earth once a year by an Alien Mothership once a year to a central distributing location in Dallas, TX.

    [Reply]

  67. I see some perfectly good words here that Reporters would like to discard because some people misuse them. Hey, lots of men misuse their penis, but that doesn’t mean you should prostrate your prostate.

    Fatuous and secular are great words, as are existential, surreal, synergy, paradigm and sublime. Sublime is nearly sublime.

    Also, panties, kiddos, per se, and superluminal. Especially in the same sentence.

    jtb

    [Reply]

  68. I hate the word “tender”. When my husband and I decided to have a Las Vegas wedding with an Elvis impersonator, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. When he started singing “Love me Tender” during the ceremony, it was very difficult to not interrupt and ask him to stop. Even “In the Ghetto” would have been preferable to hearing that word during our ceremony.

    [Reply]

    johnthebasket Reply:

    “Love Me Tender” was Elvis’ 2nd biggest hit (after “Hound Dog”/”Don’t Be Cruel”). Did you expect him to sing “Heartbreak Hotel” for your wedding?

    As always, just curious.

    jtb

    [Reply]

    PaulaV Reply:

    No, I didn’t expect him to sing that. He told us before the wedding which songs he would sing before and after the wedding (Can’t Help Falling In Love and Viva Las Vegas). He didn’t tell us about “Love Me Tender” so it was unexpected.

    [Reply]

    johnthebasket Reply:

    Paula…

    Then you was robbed. Nothing more sinister than a lying Elvis impersonator.

    jtb

    [Reply]

    Ian the Errolite Reply:

    ‘Tender’ is my favorite Blur song.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNy0ZRLrtis

    Let it be reinstated as a top word!

    [Reply]

  69. Manup….damn what a pussyassed word that is. Like somebody is walking around in Bass Weejuns without socks all the time and then has to change his footwear for some temporal man act.

    When you’re a man you’re a man all the way
    From your first stolen kiss ’til you’re last spurtting day.

    [Reply]

  70. I am not a fan of the word cleft.

    [Reply]

    johnthebasket Reply:

    I can understand that. Jimmy Cleft had a high-pitched voice and always sang in the treble cleft.

    jtb

    [Reply]

  71. There’s not really any words that get under my skin, although it bothers me when Mr.Man refers to my boobies as “tits”.

    As for other people around me, they have complained about me using such annoying words as “moist” and “supper”, The supper thing is mainly because I grew up hearing it called supper.

    I’ve had people say something about me using “jeezum crow” and also “dooryard” which are also a regional thing.

    It does kind of annoy me a little that people around here say “do what?” instead of “what did you say?” when they didn’t hear what you said. I’ve never understood that.

    I’ve gotten a few dirty looks when exclaiming, “What kind of cocksuckery is that?” Go figure….

    [Reply]

    fryguy Reply:

    Why does everyone talk like cocksucker is a bad thing? I don’t get it.

    [Reply]

    Tammie Reply:

    I don’t think it’s any worse than “Fuck”, And it wouldn’t be nearly as funny if repeated by the lisping saleslady at WalMart.

    Maam, you can’t thay “cockthuckery” in the thore….

    BWAHAHAHAHA!

    [Reply]

  72. It’s not Aks it’s Ask!

    “What Not”

    I only have one food story. One morning while showing my son the correct way to pour syrup I spilled the entire contents of the small container in my lap. My family and the other patrons in the restaurant thought it was pretty funny…

    Growing up in Indiana we all said “warsh” and George Warshington. That lasted until I dated an English teacher.

    Love the word panties as in “I’m not wearing any panties”!!!

    [Reply]

  73. People that say “either” as though it’s spelled “eye-ther”, well aren’t you brilliant?

    Also, some say “burgled” when they’re talking about getting stolt from.

    [Reply]

  74. The word I can’t stand is…wait for it…

    pamphlet

    [Reply]

  75. Seriously, when used as a one word question. As in…
    “The dog just puked on the floor.”
    “Seriously?”
    “No, I was kidding, he just shit on your new silk dress.”

    [Reply]

  76. “my bad”
    It’s run its course.

    My step-mother-in-law can’t speak worth a shit. Pronounces DVD as VDB. And has anyone seen her “pockey book?”

    My co-worker once asked me about a bloge. Pronounced the “g” sound as in “large.” I had no idea what she was talking about. Also says “mens” for men and Walmahts.”

    My daughter can’t stand it when I end sentences with, “but uh.” One of those things I never realized I did. Now I’m extremely self-conscious about it but can’t stop.

    [Reply]

    madz1962 Reply:

    I hated “my bad” even when it was allegedly popular.

    [Reply]

  77. I’m with JTB, there are many “teeth-gritting words” in these comments that I love. In fact, panties may be my favourite word of all time. It is impossible for me to say it without smiling. Don’t even get me started on moist panties…

    [Reply]

    chill Reply:

    Moist panties are the best. The very best.
    .

    [Reply]

  78. My panties are moist from my cleft shunt

    [Reply]

  79. Have a delish moist shunt cunt for supper, meh, at this time.

    [Reply]

  80. I don’t like big words that I don’t understand.

    [Reply]

    Lee Harvey Ramone Reply:

    including words from other languages, like Chines words that I connot even pronounce.

    [Reply]

    Lee Harvey Ramone Reply:

    see, I can’t even spell Chinese…

    [Reply]

    Lee Harvey Ramone Reply:

    …or cannot….

    [Reply]

  81. We should stop using words and use symbols, like Prince or the ancient Egyptians did.

    [Reply]

    Lee Harvey Ramone Reply:

    Exactly; why do you think the Wingding font is included in your MS Word software?

    Its there to help us evolve into a race of symbol-using superhumans.

    [Reply]

  82. I’m geting really tired of “din’t” oh no you din’t!

    Reminds me of Dinty Moore Beef Stew. In a dinted can.

    [Reply]

  83. Spanglish – fuck you it’s one or the other. Choose.

    [Reply]

  84. Wind.

    Right now I’m hating the word wind. My mailbox box got blown off its post so I have that joy to fix tomorrow morning.

    [Reply]

    WB in OH Reply:

    If the wind knocked down your mailbox, it was probably overdue for a little maintenance. Just saying, at this time.

    [Reply]

    Limey Reply:

    It was way, way overdue for a little maintenance, but now my hand has been forced and I was enjoying a good procrastinate.

    It is ludicrously windy though.

    [Reply]

    t-storm Reply:

    But now where will they put your junk mail?

    [Reply]

  85. Louisville…But I hate when people pronounce it Loolville. It just sounds like your trying not to drool. The voice over guy on First 48 always says Loolville and I go crazy.

    I prefer Louie-Ville.

    [Reply]

  86. But I live in Chicago, so I guess I really don’t have a say so :-/

    [Reply]

  87. supple, gyrate, cupboard, ovulate, void, new-fangled, buffer, rigamarole, higgledy-piggledy, beancounter, dainty, leverage, palpate, crack, happenstance, forget-me-not, void, cuticle, sphincter, discharge, crusty, pustules, creamy, kudos, towelette, giblet, nurture, smoothie, dingleberry, slacks, cold cuts, mauve, engorged, veggie, saliva, pundit, zeitgeist, low-hanging fruit, widget, puberty, nub, persnickety, scrotum, caress, people person, props, outside the box, push the envelope, doodle, delish, burp, fat-free, disco, goiter, masticate, girth.

    [Reply]

    clintcurtis Reply:

    Eve, PLEASE tell me that you are not the person working next to me on the sorting line at the U.S. Post Office!

    [Reply]

  88. I hate VOID so much I included it twice. (Actually, it was unintentional.)

    [Reply]

  89. Eve must not be a programmer.

    Brit,
    I agree it’s louieville, not loolville. I didn’t live in St. Lools for 4 yrs.

    [Reply]

  90. Dungarees. Moist dungarees.

    [Reply]

    johnthebasket Reply:

    Hey, no fair using the actual names of porno movies. And I think you just gave away the plot.

    jtb

    [Reply]

    T. Farty McAppleass Reply:

    Dungarees? As in dungarees crab cake? Moist dungarees crab cakes?

    [Reply]

    chill Reply:

    I think the dungaree crab is a west coast thing.
    .

    [Reply]

    Kevindust Reply:

    Gretchen if you keep writing like that I will have damp boxers.

    [Reply]

    Gretchen Reply:

    Well, if you scroll down to the World’s Fattest Contortionist link and Tammie’s subsequent commentary, your boxers will be quite dry, I assure you. :)

    [Reply]

  91. “meh.” is not a new term. It’s been in use for a good fifteen years. I generally do not like trendy, new words, but make an exception for this one because it is onomatopoeia.

    [Reply]

  92. I don’t care much for the word onomatopoeia. It seems awful full of him or herself wihat with all those shiny extra vowels.

    [Reply]

    WB in OH Reply:

    I guess “what” was feeling a little jealous and needed an extra vowel as well.

    [Reply]

  93. It makes me feel like killing when I hear the adjective ‘pure’ being slummed. i.e. not being used to describe silk or gold or the purity of something, but being tacked onto something it doesn’t belong to, like ‘it was pure raining’ or ‘pure brilliant’. This is normally delivered in a Glaswegian accent, but not complaining about something for fear of being stabbed still doesn’t make it acceptable!

    ‘Gusset’

    [Reply]

    Jason Reply:

    Here in Alabama they use “plum” in the same way. Drives me insane. “I’m plum wore out” or “He’s plum crazy.”

    [Reply]

  94. Scoosh. Can’t decide if I hate the word or the person that uses it. If it’s a guy I tend to rush to judgment.

    [Reply]

    Gretchen Reply:

    Do you mean:

    a. skosh
    b. scooch
    c. something else, mind your own beeswax
    d. all of the above

    [Reply]

    Ian the Errolite Reply:

    Is that ‘Scoosh’ as in ‘can I get a wee scoosh of lemonade in this’ ? This is something I hear all the time in my P/T bar job.
    I thought it was Scots.
    Good to hear its crossed the ocean and is annoying americans too!

    [Reply]

    dto Reply:

    Ian’s take is what I was after. “A tad more”, kinda thing, usually accompanied by a raised ‘pinky’.

    [Reply]

    Gretchen Reply:

    In American English that would be “skosh”. But I’ve heard it mispronounced “skoosh”. It should be reserved for grandmas and country club bitches when eating those fancy little sandwiches. “I’ll take a skosh more beluga caviar, please.” Pinkies out!

    [Reply]

    dto Reply:

    …yep…skosh it is. “3). a squirt or rush of liquid” is also fitting for Ian’s scoosh. I was going for the long ‘o’ sound. I’m here to learn. .

    [Reply]

  95. Supposably

    When some answers yes by saying “yepper”, it just chaps my ass.

    [Reply]

  96. “World’s fattest contortionist.” Three words that are all right on their own but fairly appalling when combined together.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1360918/He-weighs-400lbs-touch-cheeks-toes-Roll-literally-worlds-fattest-contortionist.html

    [Reply]

    Tammie Reply:

    My mailman told me about a trip he took to the local pet shop. He said that an enormous woman walked in and started talking to the shop owner about this puppy she’d lost a month earlier. She said, “I finally found it after I went to the doctor. I’d started noticing this bad smell coming from one of my fat rolls so I went in to have it checked and there was the puppy. It had crawled next to me in bed and I’d apparently rolled over on it and suffocated it. The smell came from the decomposing body.”

    Ummm…I don’t know about anyone else, but that’s NOT the kind of story I’d share with anyone, you know?

    [Reply]

    Gretchen Reply:

    Maybe if she had been a contortionist she would have found it earlier.

    [Reply]

    Tammie Reply:

    Or maybe it would have ended up in a different place and she would have been discussing her own personal “cat and dog” fight with the cat winning?

    [Reply]

    Gretchen Reply:

    Tammie for the gross out win!

    [Reply]

  97. Preggers or Preggo. God, you’re pregnant. Get over youself.

    [Reply]

  98. yourself that is.

    [Reply]

  99. Slice
    Slather
    Moist. Ew.
    Literally
    Word
    Psyche (as in , I just pulled a stupid prank on you…”psyche!”
    Mancave
    Manscape
    Totally
    Dude
    Whoot
    Easy peasy
    Cool beans

    [Reply]

  100. Words butchered by local media:

    * “Probably” gets pronounced “probally”
    * “Temperatures” gets pronounced “tempachurs”
    * “Tractor-trailer” gets called a “semi” 99% of the time
    * “Meteorologist” gets called a “meatorologist” (he works at the butcher shop, I think)

    [Reply]

  101. And the meatorologists keep saying it’s going to be cloddy today, instead of cloudy. Every place I’ve lived, the local TV and radio meatorologists have done this. Maybe they are taught to pronounce it that way in meatorologist skool.
    .

    [Reply]

  102. Encrusted. Impacted. Not too much good can come of anything when associated with these words. Yuck! Although…”Encrusted Funk” would be a good name for a rock band but only if they’re funky.

    [Reply]

  103. There was a time when men wore hats — rode the subway to see real heros play baseball in the sun — and smoke a cigar and have a hot dog.

    In New York there were three choices; if the Dodgers were in town, the fan could visit Ebbets Field and see Carl Erskine, Clem Labine, or Sandy Coufax on the mound; Roy Campanella behind the plate; Pee Wee Reese at short, Jackie Robinson at second, Gil Hodges at first, and, patrolling center field, Duke Snyder.

    Looking back at The Duke today– the day he died — we see a chunky, slow-looking, needs-a-shave, blue collar ballplayer. He didn’t look much like a ballet dancer until someone hit a long drive anywhere in his neighborhood — then he sprang to life, ran way faster than any man had a right to, and timed his dives and jumps perfectly. Poetry.

    He also hit 407 home runs and hit nearly .300 lifetime. Were that our heros were blue-collar ballet dancers now. Thanks for everything, Duke.

    jtb

    [Reply]

    chill Reply:

    Thanks for that remembrance, jtb. Nicely done.
    .

    [Reply]

    Uncle Buzz in Wheeling Reply:

    Yeah, jtb, thanks. I remember, too. I had a couple of his baseball cards, once upon a time. I used to have a *lot* of baseball cards, once upon a time.

    Nowadays, of course, all professional sports are played at the college level, and what used to be the pros is now mainly show biz, populated by both indicted and unindicted felons who are basically overpaid thugs.

    [Reply]

    t-storm Reply:

    If you speak one ill word of Ken griffey jr or any of the current reds lineup I will murder you

    [Reply]

  104. All together now – “Oh where , Oh where has my little dog gone…..”

    [Reply]

  105. moist, fixins’, vittles, anything that ends in ‘oid’ (hemorrhoid, dermoid), nub, Saint “Patty’s” instead of Saint ‘Patricks’ day, abreviations like: ‘lil’, veggies, gals
    carbuncle, pustule, membrane, discharge

    [Reply]

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