The words pube-trimming pulled me in…
The article at the other end of the link, this one, turned out to be a humor column by a Brit named Charlie Brooker. And I thought it was hilarious, almost perfectly executed. In fact, I opened gmail and fired off the link to a few of my friends.
Then I started reading the comments at the page where I originally found the piece, and was surprised by the reaction. There were a lot of people, it seemed, who thought the article was a shallow examination of the subject(??), probably homophobic, and quite possibly misogynistic.
A humor column about pubic hair!
I sincerely don’t understand how a person could have a stick jammed so far up their ass. Do they ever laugh? Or do they just walk around on high-alert all the time, looking for violations against The Code?
Sheesh. And these are undoubtedly the same people who accuse conservative religious-types of being humorless and judgmental. I think both ends of the spectrum have been stretched so far at this point, they’ve wrapped around and the two camps are now side by side.
I guess it’s a good thing the National Lampoon isn’t being published anymore, huh? It would undoubtedly cause thousands to wail in righteous outrage, then curl up in the floor and have a good cry. Thousands, from both groups of do-gooders.
But, anyway. Back to the subject of male pube-trimming… Any opinions on it? I’ve got nothing to offer on this one, I’m afraid. I’m 45, and from West Virginia.
Also, do you see anything offensive about the article? Perhaps I’m just an insenstivie bastard? Anything’s possible.
And speaking of defunct magazines, are there any that you genuinely miss? I loved Creem, Trouser Press, National Lampoon and, from my baseball card days, The Trader Speaks.
Creem might’ve been the best of ’em all. They usually had some big-name hair band on the front, to move copies off the grocery store shelves, but the music they covered inside was always hipper than it had a right to be.
And the writers were great. I won’t bore you with a list, but I could crank off the names of ten or twelve of their regulars, right off the top of my head.
Creem was also the funniest music mag, by a long shot. Every issue was a riot.
I grew up reading Mad, and graduated to National Lampoon when I was thirteen or so. It was edgier, with nudity on occasion, and clerks sometimes refused to sell it to me. Which was very exciting.
When I was in junior high I read an article in the magazine called “My Vagina,” by John Hughes (yes, that John Hughes), and I thought it was just about the greatest thing ever accomplished by humankind. Even greater than the pyramids…
In case you’re unfamiliar, “My Vagina” is the story of a sixteen year old boy who wakes up one morning with female genitalia. There was a companion piece, called “My Penis,” which was also genius. Both pieces blew me away. I tried to write similar stories, in a similar style, and was disappointed to realize it’s a lot harder than it looks.
The National Lampoon, I think, changed the way my brain works. And it’s probably part of the reason I thought that British ball-shaving story was such a hoot…
Trouser Press was a really good music magazine, which covered the obscure bands I liked at the time. I still have every copy I ever purchased, with flexi-discs intact.
And The Trader Speaks was a publication for hardcore sports memorabilia nutcases. Which was me, circa 1978 or so. I can still remember how the pages smelled, when they were fresh off the press. I subscribed for years, and devoured every word – even the tiny classified ads in the back.
So, there you go. Defunct magazines and topiary of the crotch…
You guys can take it from here, if you’d like.
And I’ll see ya next time.