Chevette Envy and Too-Early Electronics
There was a dumpy old house not too far from us, that was recently knocked-down. Apparently the owners lived out of state, and the town had been trying to pressure them to do something with their abandoned eyesore for a long time. And nothing happened, predictably enough, until the fines started being levied.
That’s the way I understand it, anyway. An elderly parent lived there, and left the place to their uninterested kid(s) in Florida, or someplace. And the kid(s) let it go to fully-realized hell.
But last week they demolished the dump, in just a few hours. It was amazing. One day there was a house there, and the next, just a dark spot on the ground. How can they make a house — a house! — disappear like that?
And during the run-up to demolition, workers found something very interesting in the garage: an almost new thirty-year old Chevy Chevette. I heard, via my vast network of liars and backstabbers, that it had less than 5000 miles on it. And it was dusty, but otherwise in showroom condition.
I saw it parked outside the house, and wanted to stop and check it out. But, of course, I was running late for something or other… And the next time I went past, the car was gone.
I don’t know why, but I’d love to have something like that. Sports cars don’t do much for me, but an old, perfectly-preserved Chevette or Pinto would be great. Could it be restored to working order, without much trouble? Or would thirty years of inactivity ruin it? I’m sure the gaskets and whatnot dry-rotted before Reagan left office?
I’m coveting my neighbor’s Chevette, despite what the Bible might say about it. (Chevettes are mentioned in the Bible. right?) I love the idea of a new-looking 1970s throwaway car. I could ride around town, and yell out the window, “Hey good-looking, be back to pick you up later!”
Over the weekend Toney and I were walking around Sam’s, the exclusive club that accepted us as members, and went past a towering display of Sony (I think) DVD players, that cost $34 each.
I believe we paid something like $300 for ours, and the $34 models are undoubtedly a million times better.
In fact, I waited a long time to buy a DVD player, until the prices dropped. A lot of the executive-suite high-rollers in California paid more than $1000 for their first machines. It was a prestige thing, to have a DVD player at home, and those guys were into prestige.
I did buy a CD player very early in the game, though, and paid an enormous amount for it. I think it was around $500, and the thing was a complete piece of shit. It would skip and go haywire if someone farted in a kitchen three houses down the block.
A couple years later I replaced my $500 player with a far superior $79 model.
Have you ever radically overpaid for electronics — or anything for that matter — because you were an early adopter? Tell us about it in the comments, won’t you?
Our first computer was around $2500, purchased in 1995 or 1996, and had a 1.2 gigabyte hard drive. I’m fairly certain our current coffeemaker can store more data… And my brother bought one of the very first VCRs ever produced in America, I think. It cost an outrageous sum, weighed something like 200 pounds, and required a water line be attached to the back of it. My memory is a little foggy on that last part, though…
What about you? Do you have anything to share on this subject? If so, please do.
And I need to go to work now. It’s gonna be a weird one, and I wish I could tell you about it. I can’t though, on account of the spies… so many spies.
See ya tomorrow.
Filed under: Daily
ONE!
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Aw hell!
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Turd?
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The logo on the TV Hat in today’s Further Evidence looks a bit like the “classic” Smoking Fish.
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Funny you should mention the mint Chevette. I saw a stunningly nice Pontiac T1000 (the stylish Chevette) the other day being driven by what must have been the original owner. You don’t see the economy versions of vehicles nearly as often as the snazzy ones. Trust me, I know this because my father drove a 1966 Chevrolet Biscayne until it literally fell apart in 2000 or so.
I have overpaid for electronics, I guess. At the time it seemed reasonable enough, though. It’s the price of being an early adopter. Like you, I waited years for a DVD player; in fact, my first DVD player was the DVD drive of a Compaq computer which I’m sure I paid too much for as well.
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That is some serious shit going down in the bunker. Damn!
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I can’t remember the last time I saw a Chevette in running condition. I’m sure the Secrets would think you were the coolest Dad in town tooling around in a Chevette.
My Dad bought a Sony Betamax when the first came out for a big chunk o’ change. He was convinced (by the salesmen) that VHS was a flash in the pan.
I’ve only owned one VHS machine that I bought about ten years ago for $50, and I am still on my first $49 DVD player I bought about 4 years ago.
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I bought an HP flatbed computer scanner in the early ’90s, for something like $1,000; and that was used — they cost more than that new. Today, I could get a similar or better brand-new one for something like 75 bucks.
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Top Ten!!!
I am usually too cheap to be an early adopter.
first dvd player was the $79. model.
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I was an early adopter of sarcasm and look how that turned out. Sheesh!
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I love old chevettes. I like old vw rabbits even more (MK1 golf). Those cars didn’t rust much, but they would rott in the wheel wells. Not much to those cars… easy to work on with a little help from the internet.
I bought a 32″ lcd tv for 1700$ about 4 years ago (720p), and now they are going for 400$ or less. I don’t mind too much since it still works great and I use it all the time… It was either that or a projector, and I’m still glad with my decision since projector bulbs don’t last too long and are expensive to replace.
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I’m apparently and early adopter in this neighborhood, cause the prices have gone WAY down since I bought this place!
Those old Chevette and Vega products gave body shops a lot of business in the 70′s – both because they’d rust faster than anything else and because a stiff wind or a collision with a cardboard box would dent the sheet metal.
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I paid $420 for my first VHS player. Too much $$ for a broke ass college student so I researched and compiled my fraternal Grandfather’s genealogy and sold the ‘book’ to my Aunts & Uncles and financed the purchase. I loved it and used it to work out to the Solid Gold Dancers aerobic tapes.
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I usually wait 5 or 6 years after a new tech comes out before I buy in. The early models usually suck, have limited features, and die about 15 seconds after the warranty expires. Plus with many media types being format specific you never know which horse to back until there’s been time for the dust to settle. Betamax is the classic example: It was superior in almost every way to VHS except the guys at Sony decided to be a bag of dicks not to license out the technology, so the Beta players never dropped in price, people didn’t buy in, and the format was (for all intents and purposes) dead by 1986.
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My first wife cost me $175,000 and only lasted 3 years. There should be some kind of Lemon Law for those things.
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I had a 1991 (I think) K car that was my grandma’s i bought it for $500 and it had under 12K miles on it. i sold it 3 years later with 24,000 miles for $2,000.
I am late to the party with electronics. I woudl never get new technology until everyone else has it.
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My sister had a turd brown Chevy “Shove-it”. The winter-beater, fuel squeezer from hell. She ran that thing into the ground.
My boyfriend and I were going to buy a Blu-Ray when they first appeared on the market. We decided to wait a while as the $400+ price tag scared us away….we knew the price would eventually drop… and they certainly did. We picked on up at Weirdo Mart for about $120
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dang Chuck. YOu looking for wife number two? I am not nearly as expensive as all that.
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It’s my Shitvette! Well, except mine was like a 1984 model or something and I had the manual transmission, low-end version without the fancy wheels. It was the first car I bought on my own credit.
My husband inherited it for a while after we were married–by then we vacillated between calling it the Goddamn Shitvette and the Poor Old Gray Ghost. It had more miles than a $4,000-some odd General Motors vehicle from the very early 80s should’ve been able to manage.
I was hardly ever ashamed to drive it.
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My parents bought one of the first VCRs when I was still in high school (!’m gonna say ’78 or’79. I graduated in ’80). It was a GIGANTIC top-loading contraption with a wired remote and ran them near a grand, which was a lot of money in those days. When they bought a new one, I took it, and when I bought a new one, my brother took it. It finally ended up with one of his friends. When all was said and done, I think that fucker worked for about 25 or so years. I’m not even sure it wasn’t working when my brother’s friend finally got rid of it – I think he was just embarrassed about it!
CD players – yeah, I was the first to own one of my friends. You don’t fuck with my music. I think I payed upwards of $500 for it. Sony, of course – actually, I think that was the only one out at the time. I bought Beatles Revolver at the same time and grooved to the mellow sounds of Elenor Rigby sans white noise for the first time in my life. Groovy.
Happy Wednesday, Surfers!
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When I was 14, we moved from in town to outside of town where cable wasn’t available. For almost five years via antennae, we got exactly one NBC station, one CBS station, one fuzzy ABC station and a religious channel. That was it. So needless to say, the very day that the new 18 inch DirecTV dishes came out at Sears we were first in line to buy one (we actually preordered). We paid almost $1000 for the dish and one receiver and an additional $500 for an extra receiver to use another room. That was just for the equipment, that didn’t include service. And we considered that a bargain. You can now get the dish and four receivers for free just for signing up for service.
I took three days off of work and literally just lay in front of the TV, watching until I fell asleep then waking up and watching more…without moving other than to use the bathroom. It was fucking fantastic.
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JFC, what’s that you say about VW Rabbits not rusting? I can point you to ten of ‘em in my father’s yard that says otherwise!
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I paid about $800 for a Sony Camcorder. I don’t even know where it is now.
Jeff, no matter how late you may have been, I still think you should have stopped and gawked at that Chevette!
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My parents had one of those cars.
I look at several old car websites. I see examples like the one you mentioned every so often.
Sometimes they go for big money.
Some college girl up the street from me had a Pinto. It looked brand new. I am guessing a family member gave it to her.
There is also someone driving an AMC Eagle around here that looks like it was locked in a garage and forgotten about.
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First brand spanking new car I bought was a Chevy Chevette. Paid a whopping $4100 for it. Drove it until it literally fell apart sometime in 1987.
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I remeber that my uncle had one of the first models of really expensive camcorder/VCR combo that you had to strap to your back like a back pack to use the camcorder and camera, whole thing probably weighed 100 lbs, and was huge.
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There is laughter here……..
Checking in for role call from Grand Forks, NORTH DAKOTA
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Man, there are some old crusty butts in here. $400 VCR’s. Graduating in 1980. $4100 for a new car, the whole damn things is $4100. Jeez.
I have never seen a VCR for sale over $35.
Anyway, I over pay for stuff all the time, but not large amounts of money. I think I overpay for something if it costs more than what I think it should Like when Michael Douglas goes ghetto-footloose-gaspump style on that Korean dude for selling batteries at 2 bucks a pack or the god awful 75 cent cola. I think the same way. I want to go nutso-fantastic on the hardware store for selling a box of screws for $3.50 when I think it should cost $3.12.
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I made the mistake of purchasing a CD recorder/player for close to $500. I didn’t have a computer and I don’t even remember them being able to burn CD’s. This was sometime around 1999. I used it several times to lift live performances off VHS that I had recorded from Letterman, Conan, and shows like that. It’s still sitting there in my room. Hasn’t been touched in over a decade. Bad move, really.
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I am a late adopter of personal-use technology. I bought a flat screen TV (32″ 720p) for about $300 a couple of months ago. I don’t think this whole television craze will last, though. people will go back to listening to their radios for entertainment.
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My parents bought our first VCR in the early 1980′s. It came with a remote that was attached to the machine with a very long cord. The remote only had two buttons on it: one for fast forward, and one for rewind.
I bought my first computer, an Apple PowerMac, in 1994. It cost me $2500, and only had a 250 MB (!) hard drive. The dang thing still works to this day.
The car I learned to drive in was a Chevette– bright yellow. It looked like a taxi cab, and I was mortified whenever whenever I had to drive it. I thought it was much better than our other car, which was a 1971 Ford Galaxie 500. That thing was about 20 feet long, but it was in great shape, even almost 15 years later. My father ended up selling the car to my uncle for $1.00, and he wrecked it within a month. I would love to have that car now…
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CD player- bought one very early in the game in 1984, along with an entire stereo outfit. That was back in the days when they had like 15 total selections and they hung on hooks on the wall behind the counter. For about a year or so, I had to mail order CD’s from Europe or Japan. Alot of my early collection are imported CD’s.
VHS- Big ‘ol Quasar top-loading model. Cost about $500 and worked well for years until I fell for the “Hi-Fi” model that Panasonic put out, so I plunked down another $600 or so for that one. Sucka !!!!
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Ah memories. ..my first car was a 1983 Chevette. Bought it for 500 bucks when I was 15 and that piece of crap lasted me through college! ! Me n that ‘Vette had good times.
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I’ve still got my original Betamax. Don’t recall what it cost, other than a lot (aka too much). I only hang on to it because I have the entire run of Adam-12 episodes on beta. (Gimme a break, they have not aired any episodes of Adam 12 in this area since the very early 90′s, hulu blocks content here and no readily accessable retro-stations.
A CD player would be about the only other item that comes close to being an early adopter on. Still have that one also, still works. Aside from those two items, I can wait it out. Saving a few bucks wins over having it now.
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Our first VCR (1983) cost $440 and it worked, but it wasn’t worth that much!
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I had one of the Quasar VCR/camcorder combo things mentioned by Carla. There was a large camcorder attached by wire to a recording deck that you strapped to your back (really), which in turn was connected to a battery that was on a belt. It’s laughable now, but it’s what one had to do to shoot video of the younglings in the mid-80′s.
I now try to stay a step behind technology, figuring that what was the latest and greatest a year or two ago will suit me just fine now. I just replaced two TV’s in our house (along with every other part of the house except the exterior walls. Literally.) with a 55″ LCD and 42″ LCD–both by LG–for just under $2k total, delivered to my door (and w/o sales tax, thankyouverymuch). They’re “last year’s model”, but they look fan-fucking-tastic. Thank you, interwebs. 3D? LED? Maybe next time, after they work out the bugs and the price is sliced in 1/2.
And icecycle66? Old crusty butts rule.
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Our first VCR was 1986 or so and 400 bucks. My first computer I bought myself was 1999 or 2000 and was like 2000, similar shitty specs.
I bought a blu-ray player on turkey day 2008 for 129 I think. I bought another one a few months ago for maybe 80.
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Since we’re getting all nostalgic here, I’ll tell you I can remember going to numerous appliance stores with my folks as they priced and compared a huge, huge purchase: a microwave oven! Yeah, we were the talk of the block with that thing.
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The 30 million dollar minor league pitcher the Reds picked up, Aroldis Chapman, is pitching for louisville tonight against Scranton.
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Our first microwave(big deal) was a large item that had a turn knob dial…worked like a microwave charm. We had a top loading vcr, which by god my father still has somewhere. probably still works. Gotta say…at least in the “old days” they made crap to work, not just sell at Wally World for a quick buck. Want a blu ray player and one of those new flat television sets, but I am waiting till they might be free. You know, getting stuff the old fashioned way, waiting till the wealthier people I know upgrade and give me their castoffs. This is how I furnished my home. everything might not match, but it is paid for.
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My dad bought the Evil Twin and I a computer in 1993, it had no modem, so no internet and came with a jazzy Dot Matrix printer for $2500. I never could have fathomed we’d have 2 laptops and a desktop all operating wireless about 10 years later!
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First VCR was a Mitsubishi hi-fi (stereo, of course) unit with it’s own built-in tuner. It had about 50 jacks on the back, and you could do absolutely anything with it. It was $550, a lot, but worth it. I think it was around 1986. It worked until last year, when lightning zapped the power supply, and my repair guy couldn’t locate another one. With the higher tape speed and hi-fi, it also made stellar audio recordings.
Got my mom her first microwave, a GE Spacemaker over-the-range model. She had wanted one forever, and was totally surprised. This was in 1970, and it’s still in use today. When they installed it, they ran the exhaust vent out to the roof, so it totally pulls the stinky air out of the house. It was $660 back then.
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Jeff, I know how you feel about the spies. I’m sure our situations are completely different, but needless to say there is a pyschotic woman in my office who hacked into my facebook account and send all my personal information and status updates to management one day to try and get me fired. I’m still questioning the reason behind it, but I truly don’t know. I think she has a crush on our boss, so she gets jealous when he gives me a good remark. I just don’t know.
As for the electronic thing…I’ve never really bought electronics, that’s more my boyfriends department.
I miss VHS and Beta machines…child hood memories.
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OH! My first car was a 1985 Plymouth Sundance…I gotta say, that car held up. I got out of a muddy ditch once in that beater, and I was so shocked I almost crashed again.
My second car was a 1995 Chevy Baretta and the love of my life. Bought it for $1200, spent $1800 fixing it.
But my favorite was a brown 1987 Ford Tampon that would die randomly at stop signs/lights. Fuckin’ thing died while attempting to cross a busy intersection one day and I was almost taken out by a semi. The Tampon roared to life at the last second and I putted into a gas station and screamed and punched the steering wheel. This was my 3rd car.
My 4th car was a 1996 Chevy Cavalier…You’d think I would have learned from the Baretta but no…this POS had a blown headgasket when I bought it from some crooks, and shortly after the thermometer casing cracked, so the car was constantly overheating.
My 5th car is now a 2004 Hyundia Santa Fe…the trans blew 2 months after I bought it…luckily this one was covered.
And that was my car story. Goodbye.
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Bikerchick-I love you.
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Hah! Chevette – what a flashback – I had one of those – same color as the photo, but with only 2 doors and a hatchback… That was a pretty awesome little car until it was backed into by a van….
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My family was never early adopters when I was a kid, ’cause we were po’! I am still not an early adopter because I am cheap, although no longer po’
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My only real early-adopterage was the Macintosh II purchased in the late 1980s. $3000 used (!!!). 40G disk and 16 unstoppable MHz (not GHz) of CPU speed.
I have no Blu-Ray player; not interested in re-purchasing all those movies I already “own” on DVD. I’ll probably get one when they stop making DVDs.
A college buddy of mine spent one winter restoring a rusted-out Chevette (WTF?). He called it his Vette, of course. Sold it at a profit, so I guess that’s all right. My first new car was a 1984 Honda CRX – good stuff.
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Chill,
The blu-ray player will play dvd’s.
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t-storm – right, I meant that I will buy a Blu-Ray player when a movie comes out that I “need” to “own”, and it’s not available on DVD.
As for the re-purchasing, I was thinking of this one guy I used to work with who bought a CD player, threw out all his records, and bought CDs of all the albums he just threw out. It’s madness, I tells ya. I have a co-worker right now who liked [whatever movie it was] so much that he bought it in each successive format: beta, laser disc, VHS, DVD and Blu-Ray. At least he understood when I said “so they got you to pay five times for the same movie”.
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Gotcha. That was the main question I had though. I still buy DVD’s if what I want isn’t available.
Laser Disc. Wow.
My car still has a tape player, been listening to a mix tape I probably made in ’98 or so by the songs on there (Hamell on Trial, Frank Black, Firewater, Soul Coughing, to name a few).
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Bought a Sanyo PC in college in 1985 – paid about $4300. Had to code in DOS and Basic to get any thing done.
I dated a girl as a teenager whose family had a Red 2-door chevette. The car was a tin can with wheels. The one thing I remember was late one night she was going to drive me home and there was a guy laying under the car. Cops came it turned out to be the town drunk (named ‘Brownie’). I recall the cops asking if he was fixing the muffler… They drove him home a few blocks away.
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Well for crapping out loud…isn’t anyone going to say hello to Tinamarie in Grand Forks NORTH DAKOTA…? Hello, Tinamarie. How are the Forks? Good to hear from you.
I think that leaves us only two or three Dakotas to go.
jtb
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@ Icey: “Like when Michael Douglas goes ghetto-footloose-gaspump style on that Korean dude for selling batteries at 2 bucks a pack or the god awful 75 cent cola.”
U gay, bro?
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Way off today’s topics, but here is a candidate for the list of sports figures with dirty, dirty names:
http://www.tulanegreenwave.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/bender_dick00.html
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Left Dakota?
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My high school boyfriend had a ‘vette. It was blue and a total POS. Every time he’d go over the railroad tracks it would feel like the ass end was going to fall outta that thing!
I’m not an early adopter generally but have been lucky to have both a Dad and Husband that are! I had a Commodore Vic 20 computer back in the early 80′s. That was a Christmas gift from my folks when I was in grade school. They upgraded to a Com 64 a couple years later then went balls to the wall with an Amiga!!
My husband is dying for one of those 3D TVs but I’ve put the kibosh on it so far. We’ll see how long that lasts…
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Storm,
Baja Dakota and THE Dakota where some dick with no man murdered John Lennon.
jtb
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Mom got the first microwave on the block around 1972. No window in it, just a solid door so you couldn’t see the food cooking. Friends came over when my parents were away and tried it out with all the hot dogs in the house. Didn’t know how long to cook them so a giant mess was created (I think they exploded or something).
Bought a 100 CD carousel player in 1987 for around $500. Was going to put all my CD’s in it and catalog them (you could pick the songs by CD for the “repeat” play option and bypass the rest of the songs you didn’t want to hear…plus you could catagorize them by artist). Got about 10 in there and quit.
My boss bought a large flat screen plasma TV when they first came out. He told me he paid 16K for it!
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Shane, it sounded like icy was referring to Michael Douglas in the movie Falling Down.
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Bought a refurbed “fat” PS3 in August of ’09, after a Sony exec said “we have no plans to update the Playstation 3.” All the websites claimed he was lying out of his ass, but I refused to listen.
One month later, the PS3 slim appears at a price cheaper than I paid for the refurbed fat. Usually I’m more careful with my purchases but they waylaid me on this one.
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Bought my first DVD player at C-city , a polaroid for $17-they asked if I wanted to buy a warranty and I said no , just give me another one. If the first one breaks I’ll just throw it away.Still working 3-4 years later.
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Sure is good to know when you bought your first digital versital disc player.
Personally, I’m just relieved now that we know that Jeff’s secret woman with connections is Valentina Tereshkova. I understand she’s out of this world.
And at least I’ve heard of her and am familiar with her work.
jtb
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I wonder if it’s going to be a weird one because Jeff had to fire an employee?
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I always wait for prices to come down before I buy electronics. Except for the Wii. Got one of those right away.
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I used to be a frequent passenger in a late 70s Chevette. Black, auto trans and a back window we made out of plastic sheeting. We went all over the place in that thing!
My first car was a late 70s Mercury Cougar. That thing was a boat and ugly as sin (blue with brown interior). I think the 351 V8 (strangled by emissions controls) got about 5mpg. I hated it, but drove it for a few years. Purchasing price (used) was $200.
We had a top-loading Quasar VHS, complete with a “remote control” that was on a wire that plugged into the unit. Heavy as hell, but built well. I think my Mom paid about $500 for it.
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Good Morning Surf Reporters….
Back in the early 80′s my parents bought a Sony laser disk movie player, the precursor to the modern day DVD. The disk was the size of a 33 LP album, encased in a plastic housing.
The variety of movies was very limited. I think I watched One Flew Over the Cuckoos nest several hundred times.
As far as the old timey Chevette goes, if it sat that long, more than likely the gasoline turned to varnish and messed up everything internally pretty good. That happened to an old Mustang at a dealership I used to work for.
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I am a late late late adopter of electronics.
When I met my then-boyfriend in 2002, I didn’t own a computer nor a dvd player. He ended up buying me both. Then he bought me a laptop in 2004.
I finally just bought an iPod last year.
My tv is a 27″ Toshiba that I bought in 1993. I’d love to have a new tv, but I’ll just wait until this one completely dies (it’s currently on its deathbed, so it shouldn’t be much longer). It’s big and heavy and awkward to move, but it’s still mostly doing its job.
I’m the same way with cars. I bought my Accord brand new in 2001, and I will continue to drive it until it is no longer drivable.
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Jeff, you still haven’t told us the identity of your NY friend.
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Johnthebasket…. thanks for the holler!!!
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My first car was the high falutin version of the Chevette…a 1980 Chevy Citation that my dad bought for me from my Great Aunt. My brother had a Chevette that Dad had bought for him, so he was super pissed that I got the “bigger and better” Citation. That car was named “The Pig” and served me well in my teenage years.
We finally bought a laptop 2 years ago, upgrading from our 1999 desktop. Yes, 1999. The only flatscreen TV we own is a 19″ freebie from Verizon when we signed up for their cable. Our main TV is a 37″ inch JVC tube tv which we bought about a year before the flatscreens hit the market. We also have a 25 year old 19″ tv in our bedroom that still works great. My dad bought me that one for Christmas in 1985. Yeah, Dad!
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I’m always a late adopter cause I’m the cheapest summa bitch i know…I know it’s time to man up and buy a new gadget when my Dad mentions it two or three years after it’s been out. It goes something like this…
Dad- “hey, you seen these new flat panel TV’s?”
Me- “Yes, they’ve been out for a while now”
And then I know it’s ok for me to go get one. hahaa.
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Chevettes, Citations, Cavaliers, Vegas. And people wonder where GM went wrong. Building those POS’s could have something to do with it.
Not to say that other makers are blameless. Can you say Sebring or PT Cruiser? I knew you could.
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JCIII – I could watch “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” several hundred times. Cheswick and Martini crack the F up in that movie.
“A 10 to Billy to match his wang” – LMAO!!
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Your further evidence link of the day:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/36853382/ns/today-entertainment/
Oh, say it ain’t so, Andy!
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From the Sept 2003 Archives – this one cracks me up every time, possibly because I know all parties involved. Enjoy………………………………
I remember being twelve or so, and over at a friend’s house playing Stratego or something. This guy’s dad was drinking beer with salt in it (what in the honeybaked hell??) and farting like a man entered in some sort of contest. His wife was sitting right there, during the whole performance. Periodically he’d tip over on the couch and let loose a majestic, prolonged trouser blast that would fill the room with the aroma of fresh-cut turds. It was like being inside a human ass. Eventually we gathered up the board, and retreated to a bedroom, closing the door behind us. Five minutes or so later the doorknob turned, the door opened a few inches, an ass encased in denim poked into the room, and it fired off a twenty-one second salute. Then the door slammed shut, and we were launched into hysterics, trying to both breathe and not breathe at the same time. I believe we eventually employed the bedspread as a makeshift filter.
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Fart stories are the best! I never had a small lil’ POS car growing up, only big ones!! My first car was a 1976 baby blue 4 door Ford Granada, it was like driving a tank with an AM only radio. This was in 1992. Then I traded up to a Chrysler leBaron 4 door with the big ass bench seats that hold 12. It had am only also, but it had a really great 8 track player, too bad it didn’t go in reverse, or I’d still be driving it.
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Speaking of farts–Did anyone download the Sneaky Fart application on their smart phones yet?!
If not, do it now.
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Brit,
sneaky fart very enjoyable. I plan on using it while making derby bets this weekend. I think angry fart is my favorite.
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I just got my first Ipod for Christmas, and only because my husband bought it for me. I have only downloaded 8 songs and I have yet to actually listen to them. Sad.
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Haha, angry fart…I love the resonant fart.
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A few years ago I bought a 1965 Chrysler Newport coupe. My uncle bought it new and it had been sitting in his garage literally untouched since around 1970. Paid $2,000 for it. Car looked showroom new (34,000 miles)
It needed all new gaskets, tires, wiper blades, brake pads, brake master cylinder, hoses, belts, battery, complete exhaust, dropped the gas tank and had it dipped (had an inch of rust inside it), rebuilt the carb, other shit I likely forgot about. Probably put $2,500 in it to get it road ready.
Drove it about 3 times, battery died, bitch would not start without half a can of starting fluid. Sold it for $3,500 because I need more garages.
We have 5 cars and 3 sit outside, the oldest is a 2005 Cadillac. Yep, I am a car nut.
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