Camping Out for Tickets and Whatnot
Have you ever stood in line for something so long, it was actually camping? You know, like spending the night somewhere for concert tickets? Or a new piece of gadgetry? Or a video game?
I’ve been to hundreds of concerts, and have never camped-out once.
I seem to remember paying someone who was planning to spend the night in front of the Charleston Civic Center, to buy me a pair of tickets along with his. But I don’t even remember the band involved at this point. Maybe the Police? I’m not sure.
But what about you? Have you ever done such a thing?
Sometimes I go to Best Buy, and there’s a freaking tent city erected on the sidewalk out front. And while I’m walking into the store, I look over and see the free-range nerds sitting there in Coleman camping chairs (Transformers edition), waiting for the release of the new G3 GamePants 3000, or whatever. And I shake my head in sadness.
I love gadgets, but I’m not a foaming fanatic about them. I can’t imagine myself ever taking up residence in Douche Village, just so I could brag that I was the very earliest of adopters. I mean, seriously. Some people are defined by that kind of crapola…
But what about concerts? Yeah, that might be my weak spot. I was trying to think of some shows I could theoretically see myself sleeping on a sidewalk for, and it’s a short list.
A one-off Replacements reunion would probably get me out there. And before Joe Strummer died, I would’ve camped for the Clash. I never saw the Clash, and that’s one of my biggest musical regrets.
What about you? Have you ever spent the night on a sidewalk outside a store or box office, for the privilege of buying something very early? Tell us about it, won’t you? Did anything interesting happen?
Also, what might get you out there today? Anything? It would have to be something pretty freaking extraordinary for me to do it…
And I overslept today (it had nothing to do with the Clash), and I got a late start on this one. Sorry it’s so… abbreviated. I’m going into the yurt tomorrow, and might not be able to update again until the weekend. But we’ll see how it goes.
Thanks for reading! See ya next time.
Filed under: Daily
I’ve been camping here to be first!
[Reply]
Two.
[Reply]
top 5 can it be??
[Reply]
I might camp out for tickets to see certain people get kicked in the nuts.
[Reply]
I used to have to camp out to ensure slots at the summer camp of choice. The last time I camped out so that No. 1 Son would have a wii to open on Christmas morn.
Never say never Jeff, I wouldn’t do it for myself, but for the children I do.
[Reply]
I spent the night camped out for U2 tickets in the 80′s but I don’t actually remember much about it. I was trashed. Nothing interesting happened at the “tent city” but my friend and I left there for most of the night to have what turned out to be my first threesome. That was pretty interesting.
[Reply]
Tilly you a girl?
[Reply]
son of sam- yes I am.
[Reply]
Nope, never queue-camped. And I was as big a rock-show fan in my heyday as Jeff was. Saw the Replacements dozens of times, so unless Bob comes back from the grave, wouldn’t camp out for them today. Saw the Clash a couple of times — even if Joe did come back from the dead, I don’t think I’d camp out. I don’t think I’d camp out to see any bands that could conceivably play today. If the following would come back from the dead, I’d probably camp out to see them: Hank Williams. Ian Curtis with Joy Division. Ronnie Van Zant (with or without his fellow dead cohorts — I think he’d put on one hell of a solo show, so the rest of those guys can stay dead if they want to). Billie Holiday (her voice melts my heart, it’s so full of emotion). John Coltrane (his music is a religious experience). That’s probably about it. So I don’t think I’ll be camping out for tickets any time soon, given the circumstances.
[Reply]
SOS- well actually now more of an old lady I guess.
[Reply]
Never camped for anything other than the sake of camping– probably never will. The stuff I’m interested in typically doesn’t need long lines to get it, just a deep pocketbook. You don’t see hillbillies camping out for the newest deer guns now, do ya? The only possible way to get me to camp would be if they were handing out guns for free or handing out free pickup trucks or bass boats… Now we are talkin. Who knows what could happen when I have kids though.
[Reply]
The longest I waited in line for anything was probably the 4 hours to see Star Trek the Motion Picture. . Oh wait, there was one time in high school we waited even longer to see Maynard Ferguson in a festival seating type show – the show was included with admission so that probably doesn’t count either. (He fricken NAILED the gig though)
What WOULD I camp out for? Elvis – The Zombie Tour… or maybe “The Michael Jackson This Is IT tour” (if by It you mean his reanimated corpse)…
[Reply]
I might camp out to see Micheal Bolton if it led to two chicks doubling up on me!
*partially plagurized from Lawrence in “Office Space”
[Reply]
I camped out one whole week waiting for the Sunshine Christmas Van Trip adventure wrap up. I still need closure damn it!
[Reply]
Between the internet and ticket brokers, camping out for concert tickets has gone the way of the dodo.
In the late 80s, we used to get paid by some coaches to camp out for WV state basketball tournament tickets.
[Reply]
FIRST!
I’ve never camped out for anything, unless you count those so-called stalking incidents (those convictions were bogus).
[Reply]
The only way you would camp out now is camp out in front of your computer waiting for the pre-sale to start online.
[Reply]
Just for dorm room assignments @ Penn State circa 1982 The earlier you were there, the more likely you were to get the room and roommate of your choice. Never understood it because after about a day and a half they told us all we could just leave, and we all still ended up with exactly what we wanted. WTF?
[Reply]
I’ve gotten in line pretty early the night before (11pm or midnight) for ticket sales, but never ‘camped out’ with any equipment like folding chairs or anything. Maybe a backpack full of cheap beer, but that’s it.
I might have camped out for Clash tickets, but the one time I did see them was at the 1983 US Festival in California – seating for 275,000 – so there was no hurry to get tickets. The only camping out was at the festival itself (which was Mick Jones’ last Clash show, as it turned out, so well worth it either way.)
Knowing what I know now, I’d have camped out in ’78 for the Sex Pistols US tour – but I think you could literally have walked up to the door and bought tickets at almost any of those shows, so it wouldn’t have been necessary. The only band that I regret not seeing.
[Reply]
Never been a Village Douche. There is not a whole lot of bands, movies, games, computer shit…whathaveyou…I would camp out for. No-sir-ee. Phuck dat.
BUT… I used to load up my extended tin-can van and sell at antique shows every weekend. There was one in particular that required showing up at midnight (or before) for a decent spot and didn’t let you in until 6AM. I’d just pull up in line and sleep until I hear the guy behind me layin on his horn for me to move forward when the time came. So I guess that qualifies me as an Antique Dealer Douche.
[Reply]
No f’ing way would I, or have I camped out for anything. I can wait for things to be on the shelf to be leisurely picked up. Same reason you’ll never find me at any boxing day type sales. Funk that shit.
@Uncle_Wedgie, I guess you nodded off, the wonder van broke down again, got towed somewhere, the Sunshine & Mumbles parade took some form of mass transit back home. End of that tale.
Excuse any spelling mistakes and other grammer issues. Just had eye doctor visit and the drops are now causing everything to be a blurry mess.
[Reply]
No, I never camped out for anything. I’m too old and too tired for that. Unless they reincarnate Brian Jones and quite possibly bring back Mick Taylor and Bill Wyman for an ultimate Rolling Stones concert – WTF am I saying – still, no, can’t see it happening.
[Reply]
I camped out in my parents front yard once totally intoxicated, then my Dad turned on the lawn sprinklers. Good Times!
[Reply]
I haven’t camped out for tickets in ages, but in the past I’ve done it a few times.
Did a few overnites at the ticket/box office for Prince and David Bowie back in the 80′s. Was first in line for U2 back then too, and was rewarded with first row center tickets for their show at the Tower Theater in 1983. Haven’t wanted to see them since…
I spent a week (!!!) in line waiting for Paul McCartney tickets when he started touring in 1990. I remember going home to shower a coupla times, but the details are are a bit hazy, as many illegal substances were consumed. Ended up with third row tickets, though.
These days, McCartney is the only one I will even consider waiting in line for. I’ve been lucky enough to see him (for free!) at a small venue in NYC in 2007, because I waited in line overnight. I was 16th in line, and only 25 tickets were given out that day.
After spending hours in line, I’ve also mananged to see McCartney from the front row at several general admission shows. In 2008, he did a free concert in Quebec, and I was in line by 3am for that one. In 2009, I saw him in Las Vegas, Coachella, and Halifax, Nova Scotia. For all three shows, I got to the venues early, and waited all day for the gates to open to join the mad rush to the front. The waiting really sucked, but it was all worth it in the end.
[Reply]
WB in OH – For Michael Bolton it would need to be at least 6. Even if the other 5 were just to pass beer and grill ribs.
[Reply]
Never camped out for stuff and I can’t imagine why I would. Even before the internet, most ticket sales up my way had a “wrist band policy”, so you had the same chance for tickets whether you camped all night or showed up 5 minutes before the doors opened. As for gadgets, I’m not an early adapter so by the time I’m willing to buy something there’s no shortage. Even those “door crasher” specials at Christmas or Boxing Day couldn’t get me to camp. Last year people camped out at Future Shop for discounted XBox360s. Sure I paid $100 more for mine, but it has a larger hard drive AND I didn’t have to spend 12 hours on a cold sidewalk in shitty weather.
[Reply]
The only time was for Farm Aid 1990. Sounds lame but here’s who showed up:
Bonnie Raitt, John Mellencamp, John Hiatt, Carl Perkins, Arlo Guthrie, Garth Brooks, John Denver, Bill Monroe, Alan Jackson, Asleep at the Wheel, Jackson Browne, Willie Nelson, Elton John, Lou Reed, Don Henley, Taj Mahal, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, Neil Young, Willie Nelson, Guns N’ Roses.
Got great seats, won’t forget it. Was an all day thing.
[Reply]
I have been to SOOOOOO many concerts, but I have never slept outside for the tickets. We’re always right on top of things and buy them minutes after they go on sale. If they are sold out, we regretfully don’t go, because buying them from resalers would be a complete joke. We tried to get Phish tickets for Hampton, VA and the shit was sold out in a matter of 30 seconds. We went on E-bay an hour later to see what we could find, and people were already selling nosebleeds for close to $500 a pop. Gimme a break. Good seats were $1000 and up a ticket.
Butt, I have been to several music festivals, 4 to be exact, where you obviously camp. Roll outta that tent at 8 am, crack a Busch Light and start your day of good music, good food and getting a good sunburn.
I’ve had a few friends who have camped outside of stores for Black Friday to buy laptops and what not, but I find that to be pointless. Electronics aren’t worth it to me, I’ll just wait a few months ’til they go on sale and buy ‘em then.
[Reply]
for the girl in the bunker cam – she should meet this crazy old man who wanders the streets of our little town talking about how he likes girls to sit and shit on glass coffee tables.
[Reply]
PS: I like to get drunk on Thanksgiving, not go camping in a best buy parking lot.
[Reply]
@ Retrollama
Props on the overnight McCartney wait…I’ve seen him in concert in Chicago at the United Center…it was amazing.
[Reply]
I don’t camp. I cannot imagine a scenerio in which I would camp out for a gadget or concert. Even when I was young, skinny and stupid, I didn’t camp. In the 80′s when I would have pulled my giant, stiff, over-processed hair out to have seen Bon Jovi, Poison or some other random hair band up close and personal, none of my plans would have involved “camping out”. Pretty sure I wouldn’t camp to see Jesus himself. I’d rather pay full price for the book on tape later, thanks.
[Reply]
I once spent the best part of an hour on the phone, getting tickets for Echo and the Bunnymen. I’m not impressing anyone here with this am I? It is at this point that the realization of my sheltered life is hitting home. Better go I think. To do something really rock n’ roll obviously. Ahem!!
[Reply]
I’d camp out to get tickets to see Buddy Hackett, but alas, he has already passed away.
[Reply]
Ok, so…the bunker cam pic…I think I like the girl who was obbsessed with eating toilet paper more. Pooping? Psh, so overrated.
[Reply]
I would camp out for Jesus! Seriously thats about the only one.
[Reply]
@Alex,
I caught that part. I wanted to know how it turned out with N&N going to visit out there for Christmas with Sunny & Mumbles.
[Reply]
Lord please forgive me and relenquish my soul.
[Reply]
Brittney reminded me talking about festivals… I don’t consider Jamboree in the Hills a festival but it involves camping. A 4 day event in Ohio, about an hour from PGH. Drinking, concerts, drinking and more drinking. Mostly country music. Every July. Fun as hell!! We take a camper. Fuck the tent bullshit!! Anyone ever been there??
[Reply]
camped out for dylan tix once. Camped out for Cardinals tix in 2006 because if you were in the first 55 to by tickets every day you got some pretty sweet seats.
[Reply]
After I die, I want to go to heaven to be with Buddy Hackett
[Reply]
I don’t think Buddy Hackett went to heaven because he used to lay beneath glass tables whilst girls (and sometimes men) shat atop them for his entertainment.
There are also rumors that he had indecent relations with some farm animals, but I don’t think that can keep you out of heaven – at least I hope not.
[Reply]
So the hackster enjoyed the ol’ glass bottomed boat? I bought an acrylic toilet bowl for the same reason. It’s not dirty if you watch yourself do it, and i might even be diagnostic.
[Reply]
I spent the night in line for the ferry to Marthas Vinyard a few times. We would drive the car in line at about 1 am and pass out. The guys would be beating on the car roof trying to wake us for the 7 am ferry. Comming back was just about as bad because we had been toasted the whole weekend and kept passing out everywhere….
[Reply]
The Buddha taught that the first principle of existence is impermanence. Absolutely everything in this universe is impermanent. Impermanence creates uncertainty. I don’t know about you, but I have a very low tolerance for uncertainty. Uncertainty causes me discomfort. Discomfort causes me to think stupid things. Stupid thoughts cause me to take stupid actions. My stupid actions bring about unfortunate results. Luckily, the unfortunate results are impermanent. Is this a great universe or what?
[Reply]
I saw the Clash in 1980 at the Capital Theater in Passaic, NJ. I was a great concert; but someone called in a bomb threat and instead of evacuating the hall they just came through with bomb sniffing dogs – good times.
I camped out one night in the late 80′s for Springsteen tixs. It sold out long before I got close.
I can’t think of anyone or anything that could tempt me to camp out in the era of stub hub and ebay
[Reply]
In Stone Mountain Georgia in the early 80′s camping out for tickets was a total social scene. You convinced your parents that you had to be there. You accquired as many, ahem, joyful elixirs/substances as you could. Then you enjoyed an all night party outside of the Turtles record store on Memorial Drive or the Macy’s at North Dekalb Mall.
I camped out for tickets to shows you would have to pay me to see now just for the party:0)
[Reply]
1987-ish, stood in line all day in Wheeling for Kenny Rogers tickets. A girl I wanted to get to know in a more intimate way was a huge Kenny Rogers fan. Sha and her girlfriends couldn’t get off work to stand in line, so I drove up and stood in line all day, until they arrived so they could sleep outside and get their tickets the next morning. I also used a connection in the promotion biz to get her an autographed picture of Kenny. In the end, things didn’t prgress any further between her and I, but hey, it saved me from a lifetime of listening to Kenny Rogers.
[Reply]
Hot fuzz – 4 hours for the Star Trek movie? You’re still a virgin, huh?
JeffS – saw the Pistols at Winterland in ’78. On the way home, in the pouring rain, if I was to get into a head-on, I would have died a happy woman. Then I got to see Iggy on his 60th birthday at the Warfield. Now if my plane goes down next week, I’ll be smiling.
Never camped out for anything that I can remember, but the 70s and 80s are kind of a blur, so I can’t say for sure….
Happy Tuesday, Surfers!
[Reply]
When I was in college, people would camp for weeks to get hockey tickets, but I was never one of them.
I’m with Jeff, in that a concert would be about the only thing that would get me to camp. And by the damnedest co-inky-dink, I jut got back 30 minutes ago from seeing Public Image Limited in Baltimore, which is one of the few bands that might have made me go Coleman. I wasn’t sure quite what to expect at this late date, but it was outstanding. John Lydon is as salty as ever. Highly recommended for those who like that sort of thing.
[Reply]
Waking to these sounds again I wonder how I’ll sleep
Passing out is taking off into the stubborn deep
I’d like to meet a human, who makes it all seem clear
To work out all these cycles and why I’m standing here
I’m falling
Over and over and over and over again now
Calling over and over and over and over again now
Running through my life right now I don’t regret a thing
Things I do just make me laugh and make me wanna drink
I’d like to meet a mad man, who makes it all seem sane
To work out all these troubles and what there is to gain
I’m falling
Over and over and over and over again now
Calling over and over and over and over again now
Projecting what I want, is always hard to know
But when it comes between my sights I’ll let the damage show
I’d like to meet a spaceman, who’s got it going on
Sailing through the stars at night until our world is gone
I’m falling
Over and over and over and over again now
Calling over and over and over and over again now
Over and over and over and over again now
Calling over and over and over and over again.
-Morcheeba, Over and Over
[Reply]
Good Morning Surf Reporters
…not sure why I’m whispering while I type..other than the fact it’s 4 in the morning
Good Night Surf Reporters…
[Reply]
I had interns who would do this… camp out in front of BB to be the first to get a PS3 or some such. Why? Because they turned around and sold them on Craigslist to stupid yuppies who just HAAAAD to have it for a ridiculously high profit, that’s why.
[Reply]
The longest I’ve waited in line for anything was when I waited for fifteen minutes for some twizzledick to count out pennies to pay for his beer. While I completely understand the whole concept of using whatever means necessary to buy beer, the dumbass kept losing count and the clerk wasn’t paying attention, so it took F.O.R.E.V.E.R…
I think I waited 30 minutes for a table at a restaurant before too, but that’s not really waiting in line, is it?
[Reply]
No lemmings here….
[Reply]
Knucklehead –
I was at that Iggy & the Stooges show at the Warfield back in ’07, too. I didn’t know it was his 60th b-day until the next day when I read it in the paper.
[Reply]
Hey chill, I’ve got tickets to PiL this Saturday in Atlantic City. I’m looking forward to it. Mr. Lydon is one of the few rockers I still make a habit of seeing live, whether it be with the Pistols or PiL.
[Reply]
Knucklehead — I’ve got that Winterland ’78 concert on VHS, and it’s quite amazing. I envy you seeing it live.
“Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?”
[Reply]
Happy Yurt day to you
Happy Yurt day to you
Happy Yurt day JK
Happy Yurt Day to you
Where is the buy now link for the book?
[Reply]
I’m going to game 7 tonight. The Pens are killing me…shoulda finished them in 6. fingers crossed.
[Reply]
Also waited in line at my office desk for Rodger Waters tix for the new arena in Pitt. in Sept. Mission accomplished.
[Reply]
@Son of Sam,
Vive les Canadiens de Montreal.
[Reply]
SOS: Yep! Pens are killin me too!! I spewed obsenities I didn’t even realize I knew Monday night.
Would love to be there!!
[Reply]
Can I rag on any of yinz about the Pirates? Or has 19 seasons of futility left you no longer caring? I’ve only been suffering through 9 seasons so I don’t blame you.
I’m not a huge basketball fan but I’ve been watching the CAV’s and I know how you Pen fans feel.
Man it’s going to be a long week without an update, but by all means Jeff get the book finished, make a million dollars and go full time at the surf report.
[Reply]
Speaking of the Cavs…what the hell is wrong with LeBron? And how many steps does Shaq get to take before they call him for traveling?
[Reply]
I don’t know Chuck but it’s deja vu all over again. This is when the great players are supposed to be at their best not mediocre.
[Reply]
I camped out for Van Halen tickets back in the 80s. There were some scary looking bikers next to us and we were all like 18 at the time but they shared their keg with us and some good smoke to so it was a good time. Never camped out to buy a gadget or a $50 dvd player or any crap like that though.
[Reply]
No…what the hell are the Cubs doing? I’m ashamed to call them a Chicago team right now.
[Reply]
I just saw Jeff’s nightmare. At the taco stand I was at (Big Truck Tacos in OKC) the mexicans in the back were hacking away at an entire pig. Awesome.
For the record I had this:
The Prarie Dog
All beef hot dog stuffed with cheese, wrapped in bacon, bison picadillo, queso fresco, and green onion!
[Reply]
Go Reds!
[Reply]
t-storm-You bastard. I’m stuck at work for another hour and you fucking bring up bacon. Beef, bacon, bison, cheese on the inside and outside, sounds like my kinda lunch!
Brittney-I will never, ever feel sorry for a cubs fan. I hate to be so blunt but I suppose it has something to do with going to GABP and having more cub fans there than Reds fans. It just grinds on me. With that being said I’ve been trying to get a trip to Wrigley set up but so far I’ve just been too lazy and cheap.
[Reply]
WB,
I’m still plugging away on this thing. I couldn’t help myself. You might be able to see a picture of it here:
http://www.facebook.com/n/?photo.php&pid=31277186&id=1332131335&mid=2551df0G4f66b607G1d40bc0G9&n_m=j.a.boersma%40gmail.com
[Reply]
Knucklehead, on May 11th, 2010 at 9:59 pm Said:—-Hot fuzz – 4 hours for the Star Trek movie? You’re still a virgin, huh?
Yes although this was in 1979, I am still a virgin. And in fact, I have the WVSR to thank for showing me what one of THESE things
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labium_%28genitalia%29
looks like. It scares the crap out of me more than clown midgets.
[Reply]
t-storm, Couldn’t get there from here. Oh well, I’m sure it looks as good as it sounds. I’m off to my watering hole for cheap PBR’s and $1 hot dogs. Ain’t nothing like what you got.
[Reply]
THREE MORE WAYS OF LOOKING AT A BLACKBIRD*
For Rick Gretch and bassists everywhere, and Shiny (if that’s his real name)
.
XIV
The yang for my yin would summon the Godfreys
To sing with the black birds and soar high above
But my yin’s Petered out and will not fill the circle
Surprisingly though, I’m a sucker for love
.
XV
Too large a dose of impermanence
Will result in John Cage never reaching
The other shore of the river
Where the black birds sing in the branches.
The Buddha knows that even a piano tuner
Cannot drown in the same river twice.
.
XVI
I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills
And a black bird will splat my forehead
With a message from god.
.
* a tip of the Hatlo hat to Wallace Stevens, Poet Emeritus, Earth
[Reply]
The last threesome I was in ended in disaster. We all bogied the 18th. I was on in two and had a good look at the hole, but hit the lip twice. I’m starting to think my shaft has too much flex.
jtb
[Reply]
I’m thinking of boycotting arizona, well, just until guadalajara gets all its waiters back.
[Reply]
Mmmmmm…..pbr.
[Reply]
Stupid and random question that has nothing to do whatsoever with anything we are talking about, but does anyone play on Xbox live? I’m an avid Halo 3 player. Let me know, cos that would be sweet.
[Reply]
T. Farty McAppleass…you may have cleared up some childhood memories of mine, of talk around the Christmas Trough about Great-Uncle (twice removed and then finally replaced) Uncle Buddy “Baa-Baa”.
[Reply]
Swami,
If your Atlantic City is anything like my Baltimore, you won’t be disappointed. The show ran about 2 hours or a little more. They did a really superb extended jam of ‘Flowers’, with rubbery acoustic bass and a bowed electric guitar. Way cool.
Bonus: I saw John Waters at the bar before the show. Mid-concert, JL gave him a shout-out: “Good evening Baltimore, famous for only two things. (pointing) I see you, John Waters!” I didn’t catch what the second thing was, but it hardly matters.
[Reply]
I think I might have been misunderstood. I didn’t mean to imply that watching someone else shit, and enjoying it, is wrong. I simply wanted to point out that jacking off while watching someone shit on a glass table will send you to hell. Just wanted to clear that up.
[Reply]
One man’s heaven is another’s hell.
[Reply]
@ Son of Sam,
So, I’m guessing your night didn’t go as planned….
Seriously, the Pens played a good series. They just had the misfortune of running into a team with a hot goalie, a bench full of grinders, and nothing to lose.
[Reply]
Woo-hoo Flyers!
[Reply]
I physically cant stand in a line (or ‘queue’, as we say here,) for more than 10 minutes. It fills me with rage.
No matter how bad I want the item in question, its just not worth that ordeal.
I discovered pretty early in life that my superhero power is that if I stand at the end of a line it will slow down and then stop moving. I’m kind of like ‘Magneto’, but only on store conveyor belts. eg the cashier will need a price from the darkest depths of the store, the customer will have forgotten a wallet, the list of possibilities is endless.
I am the ‘QUEUESTOPPER!’ Whichever line I chose will be the one with the problem. Guaranteed.
(It also works in cars to a lesser extent.)
My powers seem to increase around Christmas too, usually when I’ve got a cold and the heating in the store is turned way up to 98 or so, and that bead of sweat is hanging from the end of my nose!
Thank you internet shopping, for keeping me off the streets!
@JTB- that was a little close to the bone!
[Reply]
I have never camped out for tickets. That said, I worked at Sound Warehouse for a few years, and when our company finally bent over to TicketMaster and allowed us to sell tickets, I saw some campouts. Most interesting was when the Grateful Dead were coming. As you can imagine, the VW pop-up campers started arriving days before the tickets went on sale. We employees were treated to an abundance of hirsute partial nudity, the wafting aroma of herb-spangled not-dogs on an open fire, and the inspiring visual of steam rising gently from a fierce stream of a hardcore hippie’s morning urine directly onto our dumpster.
On the morning OF the big sale, I bravely drove my rattletrap Ford Escort into the back parking lot of the store, not yet daring to don my black vest with the store name embroidered on the back in vivid yellow. I sidled through the crowd milling mellowly at the back doors, excusing myself, basically CUTTING IN LINE in their eyes… but still not yet wanting to reveal my identity as The Dealer. I had no desire to be accosted for a good lottery number or whatever.
Ignoring surly looks and murmured comments, I made it to the door and produced my keys… and never before or since have I so quickly and flawlessly unlocked a door, opened and closed it (with a pneumatic hinge working against me and all) and locked it back.
Fortunately, Deadheads as a general rule are pretty calm, and there was no uprising. In fact, overall they were much more civilized than the pretentious Elton John ticket-wanters who turned up a few weeks later…
[Reply]
Free The Angry White Guy !!! He led us thru the last yurt session !
[Reply]
What about this shit!? Sue these shitcocks! Who do these assrabbits think they are?
http://surfreport.msn.com/?gt1=32045
[Reply]
@ Jason
Not everyone can see that if they aren’t an MSN member…
[Reply]
what a bunch of dick giblets.
[Reply]
I’m in the same boat as Brittney, what does it say, anyone?
[Reply]
Oh. Sorry. They’ve named an entire part of their web site “The Surf Report”. Rip off!
Where’s my fucking box scores? I’m about to bang my wife, while wearing a condom, for the first time in about 12 years (just in case you were wondering).
But this thing says, “for her pleasure”. Fuck her. I’m turning it inside out. For MY pleasure. WOO HOO!
[Reply]
Awwww..come on Jason! Go for it! One more to even out the count!
[Reply]
Well well still hungover from game 7. What a shitty feeling. To the Habs fan sitting beside me. I glad you realized I was serious about throwing you from the balcony. I would have hated to go to jail for it but I would have done it none the less. Fucking French asshole.
[Reply]
Yeah, but it’s only natural for jealous ingits to make a mockery of a website, just because they didn’t think of something like that first.
I didn’t get to see it, so I assume that’s what the website was? Just making fun of the WVSR? Most likely whoever it is, is obviously a secret fan of the site, and probably masturbates to the logo religiously, so Jeff should consider it a compliment.
If I’m on a totally different page, I apologize in advance. I just made my own conclusions by what Jason said.
[Reply]
Since there’s no update to read, I’ll respond to a few random postings.
Brittney, try http://surfreport.msn.com/
I’m glad the Cavs are out, so I can stop yelling at the refs to call Shaq for walking. I mean, really…
JTB–I just finished my 3rd time through the Kathy Valentine CD. Thanks for the referral–great stuff! Now, here’s one for you–if you haven’t, I suggest that you listen to the Toy Matinee CD.
Jason–wearing a condom while fucking your wife? One word: vasectomy.
It’s 9am, and I think I’ll go get a hot dog.
[Reply]
I think Jason’s just trying to pull everyone’s leg or stir shit up, because the other site is nothing like this site. It’s more of a mini-clip show recap of Internet ridiculousness, hevay on the celebrity name dropping. Sort of like Web Soup meets Entertainment Tonight. Additionally there appears to be no attempt at wit, clever banter, or sarcastic snark. Just bland canned humor of the sort that would fly on “America’s Funniest Home Videos”.
So my verdict: not an attempt to rip-off or even parody this site. Incidentally, Jeff probably doesn’t have a trademark on the phrase “surf report”. Perhaps after he gets all rich and famous and hobnobs with The Duff on Clooney’s yacht he can fork over the money and claim it as his very own. Like Trump. Just don’t do that to your hair, Jeff.
[Reply]
I was drunk when I found that site / posted it here. I don’t even remember my point. So I’ll take my free pass now, thank you.
Condom sex sucks. I’m going to feed the rest of my condoms to the dog. That way when he shits it’ll already be in a bag.
We’re having some friends over for taco and beer night.
[Reply]
That’s ok, I got drunk one night and expressed my love to everyone on here at like 4 in the morning, I hope I received a free pass for that one too.
[Reply]
Jason,
To follow up on CADude’s advice I have a second word: Anal.
[Reply]
third and fourth words Blow Job
[Reply]
Jason,
Third word. http://www.epigee.org/guide/rhythm.html
My friends use this method and only have 12 kids so much sure your wife is better at math than my friends.
Or just go with second most popular Catholic birth control…Pull and Pray.
Going to my neighbors tonight to watch Albert Pujols take all the steam out of my red hot Red’s.
[Reply]
Fuck…fifth word
[Reply]
and fuck again that’s supposed to be “make sure” not much sure.
[Reply]
Jason,
And the final word is Swallow.
[Reply]
wb keep the faith, in 6 hrs the reds could be in 1st place.
[Reply]
I get the feeling (or is it hope?) that the reporters will be drunk and running the show tonight…just marking my spot.
Brittney, does your request for a free pass mean that you don’t really love us?
[Reply]
WB — your timely mention of Pujols shortly after Tyrosine’s second word to Jason caused me to giggle a little. Thank you for the unintentional comedy.
[Reply]
Brynhildr: that interpretation of Albert’s name had never crossed my mind. Now I’m fairly certain that whenever I hear the name I’ll never fail to make that association. Thanks for that (I think).
Does Pujols’ name suddenly warrant inclusion in JK’s “Sports Figures With Filthy Names” list?
[Reply]
So sorry, CADude. Sometimes, I have a hard time silencing the random Beavis & Butthead voices I hear.
[Reply]
Hey Jeff,
Rusty Kuntz was named 1st base coach of the Kansas City Royals today. It’s about time Rusty Kuntz was back in baseball.
[Reply]
Joe T, that’s what we call my grandma, weird.
[Reply]
And Bryn,
I don’t know how anyone can possibly not love the name pujols. Especially when he resigned and there was the pujols power pack.
And Pujols makes the catch!
Pujols in a caught in a bang bang double play!
[Reply]
I’m half drunk so I feel qualified to post. Guess what I came home to today? Good guess. No, it was a goddamn pig. In my house! A tiny fucking pig! So that was nice. I don’t allow dogs or cats in the house. So a pig was a nice surprise. I’m a clean freak. I think I’ll slit my wrist.
Listen, I might need some help on the whole anal thing. It’s the same old story – “it hurts!” or “i poop from there!” but I’m thinking that I can prolly come back with, “you moved a mother fucking tiny pig into our house!” Right? Bend over, toots. That’s what I’m thinking.
Also, I’d like to say, “Fuck off, William Shatner. Seriously, fuck off.”
[Reply]
but how could anyone notlovewilliamshatner?
[Reply]
Drunks and farm animals. Now we’re talkin’!!!
[Reply]
This ought to get real classy real quick.
[Reply]
Er, big bear. ClassiER.
And shouldn’t your name be Giant Eagle in OH?
[Reply]
Jason,
One word: Roofies.
[Reply]
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FLYERS!!!!!!!
[Reply]
I don’t know how to top the last ten or so comments, so I won’t try.
CADude – Glad you are enjoying Light Years. I’ll check out Toy Matinee at my first opportunity. I know a little about it/them, but have not heard it. Of course I won’t sqeeze the music out of it by subjecting it to MP3 compression, but the CD is still in print so it shouldn’t be too expensive.
Erica – Fun story nicely told. And, hey, even Deadheads have to urinate somewhere. I’m just trying to picture how they achieved the height necessary to land in the dumpster. Specially the ladies.
Lee Harvey – Buddy Hackett died? Then what the hell am I doing in this damn line?
jtb
[Reply]
@ Kevindust…No, I do, I just hope my drunken expression of love didn’t scare anyone.
@ Jason & Hot Fuzz – I LOVE WILLIAM SHITNER. I love everything about him. I want to have a beer with him. Him and Pauly Shore, but the Pauly Shore from Son-In-Law, not the current douchebag Pauly Shore.
[Reply]
Just enjoying a little music of a Saturday night.
Publisher and writer Ed Sanders on lead vocals. The great Tuli Kupferberg, now 86 but then younger doing a little topless dancing. Former CIA agent Ken Weaver on drums.
It’s not exactly in HD, but it’s from 1968. I’m from way before that, and I can tell you definitively, I’m not in HD either.
Song is from the album “It Crawled into My Hand, Honest”, surely the greatest album never made into a CD.
Ladies and gentlemen, performing Crystal Liaison, the Fugs…
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3gc2_fugs-crystal-liaison-68_music
[Reply]
Must I explain…….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b99SuTXv3ig&feature=related
[Reply]
t-storm-it took longer than 6 hours but it was worth the wait.
Brynhildr-Like CADude, I never quite made the connection, it seems I’ve always heard it pronounced more like “pool-holes”, but that might be just the broadcasters I listen to. It will always be “poo-holes” from this day forward. I also noticed my unintentional funny contained the word “steam” which I found funny this morning as I was catchinp up on the comments.
[Reply]