Brief, Disjointed, and Silly
Before we get started with this one… a few “miscommunication shirts” remain available for purchase. More than forty of your fellow Surf Reporters are already onboard though, and the end is near. So, if you want one, now’s the time to act. Right now! Or a little later, whatever.
Over the weekend I had a Thin Mint Cookie Blizzard, at Dairy Queen. It was made with shards of my favorite Girl Scout cookie, and I thought it might be something I’d enjoy. But the shrapnel is embedded in a mint-flavored ice cream that, in my opinion, takes things too far. It was like eating cold toothpaste.
If they’d just used the regular white soft serve that is the basis for all things DQ, I’d probably be raving right now. But I was kinda disappointed. Have you had it? What did you think?
Apparently Dairy Queen offers one new novelty Blizzard each month, and Thin Mint is what they came up with for September. I’ve got my fingers crossed for November. I’m hoping they’ll hit us with a Thanksgiving Dinner Blizzard, featuring turkey, gravy, stuffing, and pumpkin pie.
What other limited edition Blizzards could they offer at Dairy Queen? Maybe we can help them out? I have a feeling we can brainstorm a few cutting-edge flavor combinations for those folks. Use the comments section below.
Have you ever had one of your emails, or text messages, misconstrued — because the recipient mistook the tone of it?
Toney has a friend in California with whom she exchanges a lot of correspondence. A lot of correspondence. Her phone is continuously humming and vibrating, and going to town. And when she checks it, it’ll say something like “I’m eating marshmallows!”
…Well, “marshmallows” would likely be misspelled, but you know what I mean. The woman updates Toney on every tiny detail of her life, and it’s fairly hilarious. I have a great time predicting what the latest text will be.
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago Toney wrote to her, “I can’t believe you’re still [something or other].” Meaning: That’s amazing! But the woman took it to mean: “I don’t believe you, I think you’re a lying bag of turds.” Heh.
This triggered two or three days of attitude and cold-shoulder from the woman in California, and Toney felt kinda bad about it, even though she didn’t really do anything.
Has this ever happened to you? I don’t send too many texts, and never answer my email (a joke — sorta), so I can’t remember running into such a problem. What about you?
Steve recently spotted this listing in a weekly newspaper published in his neck of the woods. And how’s that for hard-hitting journalism? Kinda reminiscent of Woodward and Bernstein’s work during Watergate, isn’t it?
And finally, is an orange called an orange because it’s orange, or is orange called orange because of the orange? It’s very important that I get to the bottom of this…
Have a great day, boys and girls.
I’ll see you tomorrow.
Filed under: Daily
FOIST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Early!!
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Sweet! I’m in early!
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No Comments? Tap – Tap – Tap – Is this thing on?
I can’t belive I’m the first one on today. That and ten bucks’l gets me a tee shirt. What’s a text? Answer e-mail? Mostly I get recycled jokes form retired people that have nothing else to do. Wish I had someone to sort them for me. Mostly I send e-mail to my Congressman and Senators everyday reminding them how to vote in order to avoid term limits.
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Oh well I guess I didn’t hit send fast enough. Still top five.
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My trusty OED tells me that the first known English (AD 1387) use of the word orange was to refer to the fruit of the orange tree, so I think it’s safe to say that things are orange colored in reference to the orange fruit.
Yeah, I’m a hit at parties.
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Good Afternoon Surf Reporters……
There are no words that rhyme with orange
or purple for that matter.
just sayin’
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Misconstrued communication? I do know some women and I frequently communicate with them, so yes I’ve experienced misconstrued communications…
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or Silver
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I’m a Ten!
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I s’pose I oughta contribute:
Oranges are called oranges because they are orange. Its sorta like how movies are called movies because they move; unlike photographs, which are still. Because of this, I have always wondered why we don’t call photographs ‘stillies’.
My DQ Blizzard flavor idea = Frozen Harvey Wallbanger
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After a five day vacation, it took me about ten minutes to catch up from last Tuesday afternoon.
Dairy Queen should go back to the chili they had on their hot dogs in the late sixties. I can’t even gag one of those down now. How about Sixties Chilidog Novelty Blizzards.
I never text. I am not fourteen.
The name of the orange (fruit) was “naranj” in Sanskrit. (Ancient Indian) The Arabics, who traded with the Indians (dot, not feather) called it “‘Naranjah”. The Spanish translated it to “Naranjaj”, which was translated in English to “Naranj” and later changed tochanged to a “Narange”. The “N” was then deleted and the “A” was eventually changed to an “O”. Floow me?
On IPOD right now- “What You GIve”- Tesla
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Do double/triple posts by the same person count? Am I only an eight instead?
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“Follow me?”, I meant. Please don’t floow me.
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Misconstrued e-mails? Hell yeah, I’m the queen of those. Apparently my wry, sarcastic humor doesn’t translate well when unspoken. So yes, there’s been quite a few occasions where I’ve landed in trouble, so much so that for a few people I just started limiting my e-mails to one sentence facts (or stopped e-mailing them altogether). I haven’t had any issues with texts or Facebook posts…..yet. Give it time.
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Welcome back, AWG!
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AWG: Those of us infused with the “Philadelphia Dialect” still say “orange” as “arange”. I broke myself of that after moving away, but I happily still pronounce “water” as “wudder”, among other things. Drives the Yinzers insane.
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Barnyard gravy blizzard?
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Haha….good one, Zazu!!!
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Whoever named the orange probably hadn’t seen the carrot or the pumpkin yet.
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Jeff,
I am really disappointed. I have been reading your blog/journal what have you for a long time. So on your advice I signed up for Emusic, expecting great things and almost squealing with anticipation for all the great music I would soon acquire. Emusic blows. Straight up sucks. The first three searches I did were for a Modest Mouse EP, Muse’s new album, and Death From Above 1979. Emusic had NONE of it. I rarely take a chance on recommendations, but you seemed such a no nonsense guy that you wouldn’t recommend something that was half ass.
Live and learn I guess.
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People often mistake what I say, e-mail, and text… not for lack of tone (well… often for lack of tone) but mostly for lack of understanding. I always say exactly what I mean but people often don’t say exactly what they mean to me because they substitute words, use double negatives or toss in contractions where they don’t intend to have them… which totally changes the meaning of what they are attempting to convey. My responses, then, are predicated on fucked up info which causes confusion. If only I had taken “Dyslexic Redneck” instead of Spanish and Russian.
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Ham Sandwich Blizzard (soft serve with crutons, cubes of ham, and a mayo swirl)
Dude Ranch Blizzard (soft serve with chocolate chips and a Ranch Dressing swirl)
Pimento Cheese Blizzard (ice cold pimento cheese with a celery stick jammed in it.
My e-mails are constantly misconstrued. I’ve gotten where I don’t care. Spice of life type thing. “What part of ‘let’s get a hotel and fuck while your husband is away’ sounds rude?” I don’t get it.
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I speak fluent Dyslexic Redneck from my four years in the mountains of North Carolina. Is “idn’t” an actual word? Lots of use of that word in Boone.
On IPOD right now- “Midnight Lullaby”- Tom Waits
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The new blizzard flavor should be Blue Cheese with Anchovy bits
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Sarcasm never translates in text form…I usually follow a sarcastic statement with *sarcasm* due to the bewildering amount of folks who just don’t get it or expect it….and quite honestly, I’d expect anyone whom I was sending a text to know better!
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@Jason – yummmmm! In the same vein – baked potato with sour cream and chives???
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Guacamole Blizzard. Serve it with tortilla chips.
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Zazu the pitts,
Run to the patent office. Run with wing tipped shoes!
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For some reason this whole blizzard question makes me think of SNL’s bass-o-matic gag Just add the soft serve to the bass-o-matic for a new taste treat!
Not sure I will be able to get that out of my mind the next time I order my favorite cookie dough
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@Jason-think we gotta new restaurant concept going here! We just need a name.
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Here’s a few restaurant name ideas:
“Good Flavors in Your Mouth”
“Catfish N Peaches”
“Me Love You Long Time”
“Uncle Perv’s”
“Dairy King”
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Anyone ever been to the Gilroy Garlic Festival? They have GARLIC FLAVORED ICE CREAM. The line was so long the last time I went (years ago) I never got to try it. More for curiosity sake that the thought I might actually like it. Anyway, it could be the base for many a disgusting Blizzard theme, methinks.
Happy Monday, Surfers!
Now “Oranges Poranges” by Witchie-Poo from HR Puffenstuff is going through my head. Thanks JCIII!
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Oops, just marking my spot. Stop looking up my Kilt…
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The only people who misconstrue the meaning and intent of my messages are those who fail to to grasp the concept that I am always right.
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Pretzels and Beer Blizzard
Wine and Cheese Blizzard
Vodka and…well…Vodka Blizzard.
Hungry Man Meat Loaf TV Dinner Bilzzard.
Blizzard of Lies Blizzard (Dave Frishberg tune)…ice flavored ice.
And let’s not forget our seniors…Metamucile and Poligrip Blizzard. (Half off on the Early Bird Special)
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Have you ever watched Iron Chef America? They make ice cream out of anything! Ick.
Shiny – wasn’t me!
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Ivan,
Emusic deals exclusively in independent labels. They also don’t have agreements with all indie labels. Jeff obviously has broad tastes in music, and emusic seems to serve him well for SOME things, but if you read his posts he buys a lot from Amazon as well.
I generally find 50% of what I’m looking for at emusic, and get the rest somewhere else. Is it perfect? Nope, but the price is right, they carry stuff you can’t get anywhere else, and they are adding more labels all the time (for example: they just acquired the rights to the old Husker Du stuff like New Day Rising and Metal Circus).
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Mac and cheese w bacon Blizzard.
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ga-zin-ta and fixn-ta are two I hear in VA. Oh and for those on the left coast there is no East VA. Just West VA and VA.
Alpo Blizzard – Makes you want to lay in the street and lick yourself.
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Hmmm, I think I need to subscribe to Brynhildr’s point of view.
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Laserboy — there is no “left coast”. Just the West Coast.
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@brynhildr politically speaking the West coast IS the left coast:)
Best misconstrued text message my former Secretary was about 800 years old & did really cool shit like shorthand & typing! Not to savvy on the texting however! when one of my colleagues Mother decided to take advantage of the basement condo,she earnestly sent a text: “I’m sorry your Mother died LOL!”
She genuinely thought LOL meant Lots of Love!!!
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Pagan, I thought we all agreed not to get political here. “Left coast” must therefore refer to something else. Otherwise, the rules have been broken, and we can’t have that, can we?
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I would have to agree with Gretchen, sarcasm does not translate well in written form, perhaps I just don’t write well. I think I will use Monicas idea and put *SARCASM AHEAD* just before the sarcasm.
Knucklehead-I have friends in Los Gatos and we went to Monterey golfing which brought us close to Gilroy. Just so happens the Garlic festival was going on. I’ve been wanting to see this ever since I saw it on Food Network but my friend said Gilroy was too white trashy and we wouldn’t have fun. WTF! I don’t care about white trash I want to try some damn garlic ice cream. Can’t win ‘em all I suppose.
As for the blizzard; Since it’s football season and football season means tailgating how about bratwurst and beer! MMMM! Or chili and beer, with or without beans depending on your locale.
Oh and most importantly a big ol’ Whodey to my invisible friends in the Pittsburg area! First pro game Big Ben ever lost in Ohio and only the 3rd time he has ever lost in Ohio as a starting quarterback since high school. Maybe the tide is finally changing.
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@Brynhildr — always enjoy your posts; in this case, as a left coaster, I need to defend Lazerboy’s usage. However….
@Lazerboy — Has someone on the left coast given you the impression we don’t understand the history, people, and primary fruits and minerals of Virginia and West Virginia? We know a Virgin Queen when we see one, which reminds me…
@Pagan — Good bet that your 800 year-old secretary who took shorthand (still handy) and typed (we still use a qwerty keyboard) wouldn’t have produced the sentence “Not to savvy on the texting however!”.
That one had me trying to figure out the verb “to savvy” until I discerned that you meant “too savvy”. The fact that it was a funny story sorta balanced the universe. I’m juxtaposin’
jtb
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Prune Danish Blizzard!
Corndog and mustard Blizzard.
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@Debra
You’re breakin’ my heart kid. Read yesterday’s comment or tell me to piss up a rope. I’m feelin’ bad for makin’ you sad.
jtb
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Jason,
Shouldn’t that be Uncle Perv’s Sof’ Serv?
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Pagan: There are a lot of us down here in Orange County who are anything but “left”, thankyouverymuch.
Brynhildr’s right–politics gets things boiling in the wrong way. It even got me to post.
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Brynhildr,
There’s no Left Coast? Then explain this:
http://www.leftcoastbrewing.com/beers.htm
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@ Brynhildr — As someone who would be in a very small political minority on this site, and as a long time wvsr guy, I agree on the tacit and explicit agreements to ride the white line on politics. I guess I’d just never thought of “left coast” as a particularly political characterization. My man, Kinky Friedman, close friend of both the Clinton and Bush clans, uses “left coast” on a regular basis in both his fiction and non-.
I guess I can find another way of describing by geographical identity without using this construction. I’ll work on it…jtb
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I always took left coast to mean when viewing a map it was on the “left” side of the map. Unless of course you’re holding said map upside down, in which case your probably too stupid to get where you’re going anyway. Just my .02
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Maker’s Mark Blizzard with chunks o’ Smoked Pork.
MMMMMMMM
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My apologies, Tyrosine. I didn’t realize that the name of a brewing company was the final word. Perhaps then I can start my own and call it East Virginia Stoopid Redneck Brewing Company. That should negate any objection to fictitious geographical names, poor spelling, and unfair stereotypes.
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@JTB (we use @ to irritate those who despise the concept:) despite the fact that sadly I’m am English Major (Literature not Grammar!) The precise reason I have an 800 year old secretary is so I don’t offend those with waaayyy to much time on their hands who actually look for those poor Neanderthal’s such as myself who’s Alzheimer’s have caused them to forget the correct usage of too vs to! HOW’S THAT FOR SARCASM? Har!
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“Left coast” was originally used to imply left-wing politics and was (and is still to some extent) considered derogatory. I think some left-wingers have decided to embrace the term in order to take some of the bite out of it. Still, it is pejorative if the person uttering it is a right-wing conservative or religious zealot.
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Is it just sarcasm I’m missing or is everybody pissy today?
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MI2Tall-I’ll take one of those or twelve, whichever!
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WB — where is the center of the world if the West Coast is always on the left side of a map (other than when it is upside down)?
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Well I suppose if you are viewing a globe and studying the coast of China you have a valid point. In my post I was thinking of a map of just the Continental US. Left coast may be offensive but you can’t beat the weather!
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Sarcasm is inherently a wee bit pissy, but I suppose I may have mistaken the purpose of Jeff’s update. I thought our assignment was to get each other to misconstrue things and start a war in the comments section. Oh dear, I’ve really mucked it up. **sarcasm**
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I will keep my nose out of other peoples arguments. I should have my hands full once the steeler faithful sober up.
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@Jason – I vote for “Catfish and Peaches”! Has a certain ring to it!
@LaserBoy – I think we should also include your Alpo Blizzard on the menu. I wouln’t mind being made to feel like laying in the road and liking myself!!!
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We need a sarcasm font.
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Hey Jeff !!!
I hope you read these regularly…anyway, did you get my email about my groggy ‘Miscommunication Shirt’ XXL purchase that I would like to upgrade to a XXXL to help conceal my girlish figure? Please help !!!
Also, how about those Yankees ??!!!???
Thanks !!
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We are not bitchy. Now STFU
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Yes, I have had comments misconstrued because the written word doesn’t convey the proper tone. I wish I could remember an example. Oh here’s one; I wish the grammar, spelling and political police would take a long walk off a short pier. Whoops, is that the incorrect usage of a semi-colon? Oh no, did I use a hyphen when I shouldn’t have? Did I spell “pier” correctly? Are my commas and question marks placed approriately? ARRGGGHHHH. I don’t want to know.
I am consuming a sarcasm blizzard at this very moment.
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WB – I grew up in Los Gatos! Gilroy used to be a lot of migrant farm workers, but has now become a sort of “suburb” of San Jose.
I always thought the term “Left Coast” to be quite misleading. Sure, it works for us here in SF, but not so much Southern California, the Central Valley or the Northern Butte County area (holy Red State, Batman)
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the ‘Left Coast’ ‘Right Coast’ thing was started by Texans. If you stand in Houston and face North then you have your left coast and your right coast. At least thats what Dan Jenkins says.
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Up north, we often refer to Vancouver, BC as being on the Wet Coast…
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I had no idea if I was left or right until the last election. Honest! I know a tailor asked me that once. I just thought Washington, Oregon and Cali were on the “left coast” regardless of politics. Thought it was a cool term. No politics.
@Tyrosine…WOW!…you had me at “Asylum beer”. Now I gotta plan a road trip.
To, too, two, your, you’re, their, there. Yeah…I know that’s kinda important but this ain’t a writers workshop. In fact…I put down about 3500 words the past two days on something I’m working on and used “further” instead of “farther”, because that’s the way the character would say it. Punctuation?…meh. Here at Jeff’s place I’d rather here the story than worry about a dot or two hear or their.
Bev keeps saying…Cuervo Gold and Peanut Butter Blizzard. I guess now you know why we’re together. Weird chick I tell ya.
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I have an Aunt with whom I’ve had great discourse over the years. She found my website called “Stinks.” She made 60 separate page views and 13 comments disparaging every view I might have held. I thought I was famous!
I knew I had stepped deep deep down in the brown apple pie when SWMBO told me you done done something so inciteful to riot, that you will never be forgiven. I always had it in my hear that I could be stoopiter than she thought I could. Cue the Rocky theme song!
It is Bourbon season, or at least in my case Vodka season. Cheap Cleveland is my brand.
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Ummm, a blizzard of what I like to eat the most? That one’s easy.
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LOL!
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Hi,
I’m often misunderstood by folks on here, being from another continent and all that, but it was nice to share viewpoints and shoot the breeze now and then.( I’ll never use the abreviation ‘lol’ so its partly my fault, but I do have certain standards.)
However, I’ve noticed over the years that the comments section has become increasingly more territorial and caustic.
John the basket – you mentioned my son yesterday in a cryptic message. I really don’t want to be reading this kind of stuff as it gets me all fired up and homicidal. (If I’m mistaken, and your message was harmless, sorry for the misunderstanding. )
So, for everyone’s sake, the Errolite is signing off.
Adios.
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Don’t go Ian. Don’t let stupidity run you off. We need you. Really.
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Ian I promise to only use HA, HaHa, teehee, Heh, and the occasional hardy har har, if you’ll please stay around. I like your posts and your non-American perspective.
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Um let me change that to non-North American perspective as I know there are many Canadians here and I don’t want to be run out of town.
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Ian,
Don’t know what to say. You mentioned a Christmas gift for your son, and I said (I don’t think in a criptic way) that you would probably choose to sell the tickets and buy your son the present because ‘Opportunities of a lifetime rarely come labled as such.’
I simply asserted that your son was the opportunity of a lifetime for you. I recognize the reference was oblique, but, based on your previous posts, I thought you’d pick up on it. I certainly didn’t intend to freak you out about references to your son, but if that’s what happened, I apologize.
I do stand with my fellow surf reporters in asking you to stay. You bring charm, both in your ideas and in your writing, and that’s something that we’re not chock full of. I’m the first to admit that charm is something I lack in spades.
Hope you’ll find it in your head to hang in here and have some fun. I admire your voice and your reason.
jtb
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A fine pilsner and M&M blizzard please!
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I’m back.
Thanks guys.
I need to stop working nightshift/ drinking so much coffee.
John, I owe you an apology. It should be my head in the basket! ( instead of up my arse.)
I’m off to Mallorca for a holiday in the sun. I’ll return refreshed and happy.
I promise.
x
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Never forget: The Internet is serious business.
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Does anyone find it strange that the commentary immediately descended into miscommunication right after Jeff’s question about miscommunication? Was it the power of suggestion? Jeff, just don’t ask if we’ve ever murdered anyone!
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Ian – that is exactly why we need you to stick around. Who the hell else would be going to Mallorca except you?! Have a lovely holiday.
Gretchen – I think you’re right. Jeff put ‘miscommunication’ out in the universe and it looks like it came back. Maybe he could make his next question about what we’d do if we won the lottery.
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@Ian – Glad you’re staying with us, and, thanks to you, I just received a little world geography lesson today. I didn’t know where Mallorca was and Googled it. Wow! Have a great time!
@RNK – I second your notion about putting it out to the universe that we win the lottery. C’mon everybody, let’s all chant together…
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For the record, I’ve only ever heard/ been aware of the term Left Coast used in a geographical sense.
I’d like a Bailey’s (Irish Cream) Blizzard. No, really.
The new Alice In Chains CD is very, very good.
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LOT-TER-Y, LOT-TER-Y, LOT-TER-Y!
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Keveindust, when did that get released? I have been waiting for that and dropped the ball as far as knowing the release date.
On IPOD right now- “White Punks on Dope”- The Tubes
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Murdered someone? why? what have you heard? It’s a Lie I tell you! a Lie!
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The late William Safire wrote about the use of “Left Coast” here: http://partners.nytimes.com/library/magazine/home/20001001mag-onlanguage.html
I stand corrected. The term “Left Coast” was originally not a political reference, but I was too young in the 70s and well, I didn’t care much for Texas when I lived there briefly. (Is Texas then the center of the world?) If we can just get Fox News to stop using the term, I just might be able to get over it and concentrate on the Rolling Stones reference instead. (Note: l do not watch Fox News, but am regularly exposed to it against my free will. Hence, the bitterness.)
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I always thought that “Left Coast” was a geographical reference as well. I can’t think of a time when I have ever used it in a discussion.
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“Left Coast” should never be used in polite conversation.
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Brynhildr-Duly noted!
Knucklehead-I’ve always had a good time whenever I’ve visited Los Gatos. The Southern Kitchen is always a must. Last July when I was in there Ronnie Lott was having breakfast with Micheal Strahan and another gentlemen I could not name but looked like an NFL player. Pretty cool!
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If they could produce a blizzard that tastes like pussy, well they would be very rich. Actually would probably be better if it just, lightly, smelled like pussy. Not sure how they would get the aroma, but I would be happy to start collecting for them. Hell maybe I’ll print up business cards and pretend I’m already collecting for them. I guess my biggest fear is they would take the cheap way out and collect from nursing homes. Never mind, I’d like to change my order.
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