Have you ever stayed at a bed and breakfast inn? Back during our fake yuppie days in Atlanta, Toney and I liked to do stuff like that. Oh, we were nothing if not sophisticated… There was one in particular, in Asheville, NC, which we visited multiple times. It was “our place,” and we promised to stay there at least one night per year, no matter where we might end up. Ha!
Here is the website, and it’s a really great place, if you’re into such things. I’m not sure I’d have the right temperament for it nowadays, though. Twenty-some years have passed, and I’ve somehow turned into Red from That 70s Show. There’s a lot of hobnobbing at B&Bs, with the other guests and the owners. And you’re almost required to hang around the fireplace in the evenings, sipping wine and nodding knowingly with your legs crossed in an aristocratic manner.
That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy those days. I did. But I’m different now, and would have a hard time stomaching all the… phoniness. There’s a lot of play-acting at bed and breakfasts, I believe, and I don’t have the patience for it at this point. I’d be constantly thinking, “Oh, knock off the William F. Buckley routine, asshole. You work at Red Robin.”
I wouldn’t mind returning, to see how it goes. And maybe we will someday? I wouldn’t be totally opposed to such an experiment, but won’t be going to any great lengths to make it happen, either.
We also stayed at an expensive B&B in Charleston, SC, once. It cost a ridiculous pile of money, but it was a freaking mansion from the 1800s, and quite an experience. The staff wasn’t quite as friendly as the one in Asheville, but the house was much, much bigger, and felt like it might be haunted. I remember they had genuine Tiffany glasswork throughout the place, and it was all so insane. I think I was pulling down $24,000 per year at the time.
And we made multiple visits to the Jekyll Island Club Hotel, on Jekyll Island, GA. It’s an amazing place, and we always went with other couples and drank to massive excess. It was a complete blast. One time there was an amputee convention at the hotel, and we ended up drinking at the pub, deep into the night, with a roomful of people who were missing limbs. Before the alcohol started to take hold, I felt almost guilty for having two arms and two legs, like I was showboating. Heh.
The last time I stayed at unusual accommodations was a few weeks before Warner Bros. shit me out like this morning’s breakfast burrito. They summoned me to Burbank for a few days, where I sat through several meetings, and attended some training sessions. Then… two or three weeks later I (along with 300 of my closest friends) was cut-loose. What the hell, man?? What was the trip west all about? It still makes no sense to me.
Anyway, they put me up in a “boutique hotel,” which was exceedingly fancy. It was a great place, with a slight 1940s feel to it. Very elegant. I had adult beverages in the bar downstairs every night, with co-workers, and it was a fun trip. I just wonder how many of them “knew?” Weird shit, man.
And now I’m going to turn it over to you guys… In the comments section, please tell us about the unusual hotels or inns you’ve visited. Most of my experiences have been positive, but please feel free to pass along your horror stories, as well.
I’ll be back on Monday, with a new update and an email to Surf Report VIPs. Have a great weekend!
I’ll see ya soon.