Me: Do you know how I can automatically pull information from a spreadsheet on the Y: drive, into a new spreadsheet I just created?
Them: So, let me show you.
WTF? That’s nonsensical. And I’m noticing it more and more. It bothers me… It bothers me a great deal.
My ears are screwed up this morning, and they’re screwed up most mornings. Luckily, I haven’t had too many health problems during my life so far, but my ears and eyes have never functioned at an acceptable level.
Every morning I go through a period when both my ears are sealed off like a submarine. Sometimes they pop open within seconds of me going vertical, and other times it takes longer. Like today. I’ve been off the platform for a couple of hours already, and my left ear is still vapor-locked. It sucks.
My dad has bad ears, too. He goes through the same thing, so I guess I’m carrying on the family tradition. Both of us have seen doctors about it, and it has nothing to do with wax, or anything like that. That’s the first thing people say, when I complain about it: Have you had a doctor blast the earwax outta there? But that’s not the problem, it’s something to do with moisture not draining correctly, or somesuch.
When one or both my ears are stuffy and jacked-up, it throws everything off. I feel out of it, and almost drugged. But I have so many years of experience with it, I know I have to just ride it out. If I start playing around with my earholes, it’ll just prolong the problem.
And my eyes… They’re Grade C at best. I have to wear gas permeable contact lenses — nothing else will do the trick. Regular contacts are useless, and glasses don’t do much, either.
It’s not a huge issue, but I worry that since I started out with weak eyes, they’ll eventually give out on me. I’ve got less to work with… I’m concerned that in the future I might have to walk behind a freakishly-trained, vest-wearing dog. Ya know? And I’ll have to request a special menu at TGI Fridays, with 72 point fonts.
Oh well. It could be much, much worse. I know this, and I’m thankful that it’s been relatively smoove-sailing, so far. Pass the beer nuts.
We went to Moe’s a few days ago, for Nerf football-sized burritos, and they had a bunch of portraits on the walls, of people who supposedly look like rock stars. Apparently they had some kind of months-long contest, and these were the “winners.” Yeah, and I don’t want to be cynical… but most were sad facsimiles of the real thing.
“Jimi Hendrix,” for instance, was just some random black guy, who looked nothing like the real Jimi. Except he was black. Is that all it took? And this dude was fat, for godsake! What the hell, man?
“Buddy Holly” was equally lame. It looked like Pat Sajak in horn-rimmed glasses. It feels like they could’ve done better…
And that leads me to the Question of the Day. In the comments section, please tell us what famous person or persons you’ve been told you resemble. Anyone? We need to know.
I’ve been told by several people that I look like the bass player in U2, Adam Clayton. And I’ll concede a slight resemblance. A girl I used to know always told me I look like Lou Reed, but I think she was delusional or brain damaged, or something. For one thing, my neck isn’t wider than my head… And I’m not a badass motherfucker.
What about you? Has anyone said you look like someone famous? Tell us about it.
If you don’t have anything on that one, how about people you know who look like someone famous? There’s a guy at my job who looks EXACTLY like Jim Carrey. Seriously, it’s mind-blowing.
I’m gonna call it a day now, and get ready for work. And just so you know, my left ear popped-open right around the time I typed “Pat Sajak.” Maybe that’s the key??
I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.