Bad clocks, black Wendys, and Brian
While waiting for my Marlene Carpenter frozen lunch to cool and congeal, I walked from room to room and made a note of the time displayed on our various clocks.
And here’s the hard-hitting report:
my nightstand: 12:04
Toney’s nightstand: 12:04
upstairs bathroom: 4:50
living room mantel: 12:07
microwave in kitchen: 12:06
downstairs bathroom: 11:26
DVR in family room: 12:08
What’s the story with clocks in baffrooms? As you can see in my extensive research, both are letting us down in a big way. I’m fairly certain the downstairs bathroom is showing 11:26 PM, and not AM. Possibly a PM from a couple of days ago.
Does the humidity of the showers play havoc with the inner workings, or something? Or maybe it’s the rich tapestry of aromas in there? I simply don’t know.
Surf Report Rule of Thumb: After researching an illness or abnormality at WedMD, you will be convinced it’s cancer. Even if the problem has something to do with ingrown toenails, or earwax.
Here are some more things that are true.
I have a feeling we’ll be having “visitors” over the coming weekend. The eBay packages are starting to pile up, and that’s an indication we’ll be seeing Eninen soon, very soon.
Some people can predict weather via joint pain, but I can predict Nossy in our living room by the number of UPS trucks that have visited our home recently.
It’s all LEGO, and at least semi-expensive. Nancy spends tons of money on that crap, and all of it comes here — to avoid postage costs to Canada. We’re Nancy’s personal LEGO mail-drop.
I’m thinking the wind-up car will be pulling into our driveway on Saturday afternoon. We’ll see how good of a predictor I am… Pass the yogurt balls.
I recently downloaded this obscure Matthew Sweet album at eMusic, and have been playing it semi-continuously ever since.
It was originally released as a “gift” to his loyal Japanese fans, but I think it finally made it to U.S. record stores as well. In any case, it’s power pop perfection, and I’m loving it.
I also grabbed this old fave, a few days ago. Oh yeah.
Now I have a follow-up to a story that dates all the way back to 2002… Sometimes it takes a while, but we usually get to the bottom of things around here.
Back in the early days of this site I mentioned in passing that I’d encountered Wendy’s restaurants in the South, with the “Wendy” on the signage adjusted to match local demographics. In short: I’d seen several black Wendys.
I can’t remember all the details, but think some of you challenged my memory or truthfulness, and said it couldn’t possibly be true. I ended up writing Wendy’s corporate about it, and received a reply — denying everything, of course.
Well, check this out: Black Wendy is NOT a myth! CitizenX has brought the proof, and it sure doesn’t look ‘shopped to me. And so, seven years later, I told you so.
Ahhh, that feels so good….
Today’s my Friday, and the big outsize weekend will begin at 1:30 AM. Or, as the upstairs bathroom calls it, 7:48. Oh, there’s electricity in the air, my friends.
I’ll leave you now with a simple Question of the Day. Have you ever known a Brian? If so, tell us about him. Use the comments section to let loose of all your pent-up Brian emotions. Do you like your Brian(s), or is he irritating in some way? We need to get a handle on it, and quick.
And that’s all I have time for today, boys and girls.
I’ll be back tomorrow.
Filed under: Daily
word!
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Tada!
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Score!
haha
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yada yada
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I am just here to make sure the black Wendy was mentioned.
:: EPIC! ::
Carry on ….
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And what happened to all the Sambo’s restaurants?
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Top ten and first Brian.
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I love Matthew Sweet. I have a few of his cd’s, but I haven’t listened to them in a while. I’ll have to dig them out.
My best friend is a Brian. He’s the shit.
Clocks in the bathroom? I suppose that’s not unusual, but I’ve never had a clock in any of my bathrooms. It might give me performance anxiety on the toilet.
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Also, I think that Wendy’s sign is the result of a burned out bulb or two. Always a skeptic.
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I used to work for a guy named Brian. He was a 7 foot tall, blonde haired, blue-eyed douchebag.
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My youngest son’s name is Brian. He has been a challenge to say the least. 22, unemployed, living at home, etc etc.
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That Wendy’s sign is from Canada. Notice the maple leaf where the apostrophe usually is.
All of the Brians I’ve known have been cool. Bryans, on the other hand, tend toward the douchiness…
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is it really that much cheaper to drive all the way to your house to pick up the Lego packages versus having them shipped to Canada?
i’ve known several Brian/Bryan’s. Brian K was pretty cool. Bryan W was a smartass but his older brother was HOT so we’d just ignore him and drool over his brother. now Brian C…he’s an ex – in several ways actually. an ex boyfriend and an ex convict so needless to say i don’t have anything good to say about him. his best quality is that he’s a pot and coke head…
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I have an uncle brian who is the self-professed black sheep of the family. moves from job to job, only married once for a short time, and obsessed with collecting knives and guns.
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I’m sorry for my lack of faith, but I have to agree that the Wendy’s sign is the result of poor illumination. I’d sure like to see a picture of it in daylight.
Besides, how would changing the color of Wendy’s skin appeal to a demographic? I mean, how many black girls have you met with bright red pig-tails? And I mean in real life, not some weird porn site, thank you very much. That would be a first for me.
Got no quarrels with any Brians. Went to high school with several of them, most notably a Brian Barker and a Brian Butt. I have an uncle Brian as well who married in, and he’s one of the coolest people I’ve ever met.
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I love my Bryan. I know that sounds gay, but screw it.
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Oh, let me follow that up… I can’t recall any specifically, but I have a strong suspicion that the ones who spell their name “Bryan” are huge douches. I could be wrong, though.
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Of couse that just had to post right after Tony’s praise of a “Bryan.” Sorry, Tony, that was unintentional.
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Between the ages of about 10 and 13, in the early ’70s, a family straight from Merry Old England moved next door. The eldest son, about my age, was named Brian. In time, the whole family was ostracized by all the kids in my suburban Pennsylvania neighborhood because of their “foreign” ways (though at first we tried to be friends with them). Looking back, the perceived infractions didn’t exactly deserve ostracism, but when you’re a gang of 12-year-old American boys, anything that doesn’t fit the norm is reason for condemnation.
Brian and his younger brother and sister weren’t allowed outside “in the garden” on Sundays, as that was the solemn Sabbath. If they were “naughty,” Mum would come out with a wooden spoon and smack the bad child on the “bum.” Brian also had the first uncircumcised wiener I ever saw (no, we didn’t go around comparing dongs, but boys of that age would simply whip it out and go when they were playing in the woods and had to urinate, so all us neighborhood kids felt nothing strange about whizzing right in front of each other [sometimes even having contests to see who could create the highest arc or farthest trail -- I always won that contest, due more likely to a narrow nozzle rather than anything brag-worthy]).
Eventually Brian and family moved to California. If you’re out there, Mate, I’d like to apologize on behalf of the whole neighborhood for the way we treated you.
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Top 20 – jus markin my spot, move along nothing to see here…
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That’s a very specific demographic: The red pig-tailed African-Canadian hamburger frau.
Sorta reminds me of Sammy Davis Jr (one-man demographic): African-American Jewish song-and-dance member of the rat-pack with one glass eye.
A Brian is someone who is an overachieving fannypack-wearing dude who’s wife is a boozer and kids secretly hate him. There are no Bryans, to my knowledge.
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One of my best friends in my younger years was a Brian and he was a great guy. Unfortunately he got married, neutered, and is no longer allowed to have friends (I’m not joking BTW. His wife will not let him see any of his old friends or have any social contacts that don’t involve her. He’s officially the most p-whipped guy I know).
I’ve seen the “Black Wendy’s” signs before and I agree with others: It must be a problem with the lights or the sign itself. Here’s one where the hair is black: http://i100.photobucket.com/albums/m34/janabanana767/DSCN8257.jpg
I suspect that there’s a defect with the sign and certain colors are discolouring under UV light, causing Wendy to appear Black (or more Mulatto when you consider the hair). That or some photoshoppin’ been going on.
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@ Mark T – I know a few but they only come out late at night and they are always asking if I want a date, strange…
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WebMD told a buddy of mine that his symptoms all pointed to HIV. Considering the poor kid has gotten laid in a while I doubt it. Even though his whore bag ex-fiancee cheated on him while he was in Iraq. I hate women like her. The diagnosis freaked him out so bad he went to the VA and got tested.
As far as Brian’s are concerned. I have never dated a Brian. I have been buddies with a few and they are a good time. I must agree with the other commentors that Bryan’s are douches.
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My best male friend is Brian. He was my senior prom date, too. Of course, he’s gay and we ended up at the Grand Palace watching gay porn after the prom. I would have had him be my “Man of Honor” at my wedding, but we kept the wedding party small, so that was out. He is unbelievably good looking and funny as hell.
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WHAT are they doing to that poor cat in the Bunker Cam anyway???
Most recent Brian: Good, but young and not-too-bright guy who wrecked on his motorcycle and was badly injured. Still rides, and STILL does not wear a helmet…*sigh*
Previous Brian: A former (married with kids) boss who liked to call me into the office to try to give him backrubs and then grab my ass. Nice.
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I know someone who named their Golden Retriever Brian.
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My first serious boyfriend in high school was Brian. He was a year older, and funny and smart and drove a blue Ford Ranger. I think I heard that he got married and had about 4 kids, but I’m not sure. He was great…I can’t remember why we broke up, though.
I worked with a Bryan (with a Y) for a while. He was a douchbag.
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@ Stephanie – Thats the Clinton’s cat Socks doing a photo shoot for his up and coming book about life in the White House with Bill, Hillary and Chelsey. It going to be called “Look what the cat dragged in”.
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I worked at Wendy’s when i was in college. That was the worst job I ever had, BUT – I highly recommend that all of you go there and get hired just so you can go through the first day “orientation”. They teach you to make various menu items by means of awesome music videos. And by awesome, I mean really, really bad.
I guess they work, though. That was ’96 and I still remember the order in which you put toppings on a burger. I only worked there for a week.
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I can think of two Brians. The first was a grade-school classmate who was deaf. The other was a co-worker who was an equal-opportunity religious bigot: he hated them all and did not let a day go by without making sure everyone around knew it. That got tiresome in a hurry.
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Brian (my wife refers to him as Brain),
is a bartender at a local restaurant/bar that has
“the world’s best bar food”. He’s a great guy and funny as hell.
I’m on his email list and he sends me some of the funniest
and/or obscene photos and links that the internet has to offer.
When I get an email from him, I’m sure it’ll be bizarre.
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@ Brandy: I worked at Wendy’s for many years in the late 80s/early 90s. At one point I was what was known in those days as a Crew Trainer and had to show those videos to new hires, many of whom came from tough, crime-ridden areas. On more than one occasion, a prospective employee would take one look at Grill Skill or Sandwich Sam and say “This some stupid shit!” and walk out. Good times.
I think the GrillSkill video is on YouTube.
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So I have been unemployed for 3 months now and the 6 months before that I worked at a place that DIDN’T have internet. So folks if you remember me than Hello again, if not I was a long time surfer. I have taken to staying up until 5-6 in the morning than sleeping all day. I have never been out of work this long and I am freaking out & getting VERY lazy at the same time. so lazy I barely go online. I just happen to be at the local collage waiting on my younger sister to see her Honors lady, so I am sitting here with a computer in front of me…. how many of you out there are finding themselves out of a job? any advise? anyone have a office job for me? oh well look forward to hearing from you, hope you drop me a line Jeff, we have not communicated forever!
Lucie
ohiogirlintampa@yahoo.com
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Brian – Best drummer ever from/in WV
Other Brian – Stunk like hell all the time and wouldn’t work,
Another other Brian – Very much a smart-ass, I’d say a class 3 smart-ass (the rankings go to 5) I am a class 4 smart-ass, I enjoy the company of other smart-asses…like here.
Punk Rocker Brian, yet another one.
Dumbass Brian from grade school.
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Clocks. In that bathroom. Would never have occurred to me to put one there. Now I feel a strange compulation to chuck the coffee maker in ther (with its clock) to see if somehow time slows down or speds up in comparison with what time the oven says it is. Or is it the microwave?
The one Brian I know that comes to mind once threw himself in the path of an oncoming bullet for a former housemate of mine. Nice guy. Too bad the slug got him in the lung – took years for him to fully recover and she STILL got killed.
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“compulation” = compulsion.
‘speds up’ does not, in fact, mean to become more like someone who needs a helper monkey in school. No, it actually means “speed up,” which I’m sure people can agree makes a whole lot more sense in the context of my comment.
WTF was THAT about, fingers?
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My sister was married to a scumbag lowlife named Brian.
I would give a years salary to punch that pig in the throat.
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Lucie, good to see you’ re back, but sorry about your job situation. That sucks. I know the gubmint is hiring in DC.
Apropos of nothing, why is the time stamp on these comments always central time, but Jeff is in PA?
“We need to get to the bottom of this people.”
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i have a long time brian friend – good guy but has an annoying habit of disappearing for months at a time.
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My brother, Bryan, is a great brother and Dad.
We have a friend, Brian, who is unreliable, but funny or used to be. he’s become really bitter over the years. We have a lot of great stories about him that involve him saying ‘trust me’ and then something gets blown up, burned down, or a boat gets beached, etc. Good times.
We have an antique electric clock that we had purchased, paid to have it refurbished, then used it in our kitchen for about 6 months. Then it started to run backwards. It spooked me so I took it down.
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Brian…. hmm… only one I can think of it the dog on Family Guy.
Wait – i think the 1 armed kid in my elementary school may have been a Brian. Smelled funny.
IT guy at work was named Bryan, not a douchebag. But he did have a lame skinny moustache. Ugh.
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@ karin – with one arm, that could be the reason…
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Three Brians…my boss, who you can NEVER tell if he’s serious or joking; my neighbor Brian, who wouldn’t say “shit” if he had a mouthful; and some damned fool in my office who grunts,wheezes and moans his way through the work day…in between naps at his desk.
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Clocks in the bathroom…hmmmm…Are they alarm clocks? RRIIIINNNNGGGGG!! Turds are ready!!!!!
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Lucie – welcome back! I’ve been out of work for 5 months as well. Haven’t been able to find anything and can’t afford to live in this house on the ‘generous” unemployment checks I receive. Putting the house on the market and moving to Italy. Screw it.
I love my Brian. He works in rock merchandising for some VERY big metal bands, so I get great stuff for free and usually find out about shows before anyone. For instance, he called me this morning to tell me of a surprise show this Tuesday – VERY big band playing VERY small venue. And he’s got me on “the list”. Yes, I love my Brian. One of the few things I will miss terribly when I live overseas. Trade offs, my friends, trade offs.
Happy Wednesday, Surfers!
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Gawd I sound like such a selfish bitch sometimes -
That’s by far not the ONLY reason I love Brian. He’s just a cool guy. But that just happened this morning and was fresh in my mind.
Jeez, you’d think I picked my friend by what they have to offer me….
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Funny you mentioned Brian. Today is his last day in our office. I work for a City & we have had massive layoffs. His layoff was set for tomorrow, but he (gasp!) found another job, so he is leaving today. He’s ok. Very tall, very quiet & all-around serial killer-ish. I’m convinced there is a torture chamber somewhere…..
Another Brian I know is my brother in-law. He’s a middle school teacher & a former coach for a football team (varsity high). He’s okay too, but sometimes I think he thinks way too highly of himself….
WTF is up with clocks in the bathroom? You in a rush?
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I knew a Brian once, or was it Bill. He was an industrial engineer or something like that. Never married and had a butler. He had a swanky apartment on Park Avenue in New York city. He ended up raising his sisters three kids. A teenage girl and a boy and a girl who were twins. The kids put a crimp in his dating scene and they drove the butler bonkers. Lost track of him after his younger adopted daughter died of an overdose.
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Having a clock in the bathroom is weird. But I have a radio in all three showers. So whatever blows your hair back, I guess.
I knew one Brian in High School and he was a great guy. We’d get drunk and chase tail together. I just met a guy named Bryan and he’s a walking dildo. He has a little girl named “Willow”. What’s that tell ya?
I’d like to meet a black Wendy and show her the ways of the street.
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Um, Jeff, you think you could delete the part about Bryan and Willow? I think I made a tactical error.
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I worked with a Brian until a couple of weeks ago, he was the best coworker ever, and I miss him dearly.
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@Shiny Rod
Twisted, very twisted.
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I went to school with a Brian, his last name was Crommy however we later found out the truth, his older sisters had altered the spelling of the last name when they went to school, it was actually Crummy…..his brother gave the funniest best man speech at his wedding, all about a crummy sister-in-law, crummy family..etc etc ahh good times..
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Three Brians: all douchebags and assholes.
One Bryan: my best frind in first grade, an only child raised by a single mother, went to the West Coast, found out he was gay.
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I have just emailed the people at Snopes.com to find out if this “Black Wendy” business is in fact true. They will get to the bottom of this and I will in turn pass the information on to all of you.
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I grew up with a Brian (guess which one he is on my cast of characters)
and I know a Bryan here in town. We are both members of an organization.
I have two cousins named Brian (both big drinkers and big executives) and I once had a crush on a guy named Brian (when I was around 11 years old).
I think that covers it.
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we are a wonderful people; brians. we come from far and wide, often spelled a little differently but with an intent their parents believed to be humble, average people and also fun.
we were usually born in the late 60′s to odd 70′s and are usually very easy to laugh with or at, we usually don’t care much. we work hard and enjoy the finer things in life like good food, music and West Virginia Surf Report.
we are indigenous to the land of GA but famous ones have been seen in CA. they have various jobs including family pet, producer, and social services provider. beyond that we a lot like Jacobs.
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…and oh yeah we love mac, radiohead and Obama
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Knew Brian #1 in high school. He wasn’t much of a talker, but whenever he did open his mouth, it was to mutter something sarcastic and rude under his breath. If he hadn’t had severe acne, he might have been the man of my dreams.
Bryan #2 was from the summer after senior year before I took off for college. I had a major crush on him and hung out with him daily, just hoping to get in his pants. Turns out he was gay and not yet out. My gaydar eventually got tuned to the proper frequency, and I haven’t made the same mistake since.
Brian #3 was a guy I “dated” briefly, and by that I mean that we agreed that our relationship would be for sex only (and maybe a few beers now and then after I had been out with my friends). If either one wanted to sleep with someone else, the deal was off, no hard feelings, have a nice life. When I went away on business for a month, he totally broke the rules of the agreement — he got attached, called me daily, begged me to come back early. Couldn’t handle that so I ended it. In retrospect, I think I was the bigger douche. I’m older, wiser, and alas still single. Karma.
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btw – Black Wendy DOES exist. She lives in Northern California and wears her bright red polyester weave on a regular basis, though not always in braids. Frequently spotted in the supermarket or nail salon down the street. I kid you not.
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i know a gay couple: bryan and brian (not kidding) brYan is the female of the couple (duh)
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Phantom Rail-something-or-other (i’m too lazy to scroll up) – I’m going to YouTube right now for the Sandwich Sam video…
is that the one that goes White, Red and GREEEEEEEN? I still get that damn song stuck in my head 13 years later.
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Brandy,
You have to look under Wendy’s Training Video. I’m going to watch some, even though I never worked at Wendy’s.
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My brother is a Brian, and he’s getting triple coronary bypass next week. So I would say it sucks to be a Brian right now. The only other Brian I know spells his name with a “y” instead of an “i” and he’s a philandering prick who screwed around on his wife and left her when their son was itty bitty. Not sure if that’s because he was a “Bryan” or not.
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used to work at place that got trustees from one of the west virginia regional jails as work release
had daily crew of 3
there usually was a brian on most crews
90% of the brians were super hard workers, union carpenders, masons, even schoolteachers
all were doing time for drunk driving, and wanted to join damm, drunks against madd mothers
all had unique sence of humor
all of them i would tell to drop in on me anytime, at my home , were super nice people
on the other hand if got a guy named pat, all of them except 1 were useless and couldnt wait to get rid of them
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Brandy:
I don’t know if snadwich Sam is on youtube or not, but it was indeed the “White Red. AND GREEN!” one.
I think the GrillSkill video is the weirder of the two. I mean, the hamburger patties RAP at one point! Awesome…
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The way they cook those hamburger patties, smashing all of the juice outta them, is absurd.
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You’re right, Phantom Railfan – the singing patties are pretty amazing.
I think the white red AND GREEN song stuck with me though because I spent the bulk of my employment on sandwiches. Everything went so fast, and I was really nervous and my boss was standing over me, so I just kept repeating it in my head.
May I suggest that anyone who is extremely OCD about how their sandwiches are assembled NOT work in fast food. There’s simply not enough time to make them all perfect, evenly space the pickles, pick the perfect piece of lettuce, and wrap it without wrinkling the foil. I was on the verge of needing therapy. again.
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Jason, even more absurd than that is Dave Thomas’ speech impedement.
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@ Brandy: Shouldn’t that be CDO? You know…since it’s in “order” now…
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Things I keep in my pocket for good luck. TSA has a field day with this at the airport:
http://doic.net/imperial-buckeye.jpg
Hal
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Just read “mockable” and I’ll bet they put you up at the Oakwoods on Barham…I saw herds of deer there and couldn’t believe it.
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I went out with a Brian once. Briefly. He had a premature ejaculation problem. The first time I noticed we were just making out and I was like “what’s wet?”. We could have worked through that but I just wasn’t that into him anyway.
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Do they serve fried chicken and biscuits at the black wendy’s? Watermelon frosties?
Just curious
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Love, love, love the black Wendy’s. As a resident of the South (AL-Represent!) I will keep a lookout for further proof of this anomoly.
The one Brian I know is a complete ass 99.9% of the time. His attempts to be nice are thinly veiled with self absorbtion.
I met Matthew Sweet back in the 9-7 and he is a fantastic guy and wonderful musician.
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I am a few days behind here — I have a few comments before I read the comments (sorry).
1-Wendy is NOT black. She is TAN! We have no pasty whiteness in FL.
2- Why in God’s name would anyone put a clock in the Bathroom? Are you timing your shits or your showers? Is this where folks hide the fugly wedding gift clocks??
3- Love Mathew Sweet. He’s 100% fun.
4-reading comments now.
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I’m Brian and so is my wife!
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OK I was wrong, one armed Brian was really Craig. My error. He smelled funny cuz he peed his pants. Unrelated to being one armed.
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I roomed and fudged a Brian back in the day when we played for coach Halas.
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“roomed and fudged a Brian”
WTF?
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That’s just cold Gale.
But funny.
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Gale,
did you play Brian’s piccalo?
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