Jeff

Robert Wadlow was reportedly 8′ 11″, and is the tallest person in recorded history. Here’s his Wikipedia page, which contains a lot of amazing facts. Back during the ’70s, when I was in Jr. High School, we were obsessed with the Guinness Book of World Records (it was a simpler time) and Robert Wadlow — along with Bob Hughes, the fattest man of all-time — generated a lot of highly-intellectual conversation. I’d like to open the comments section to a continuation of that. What do you suppose would be the biggest hassles of being so tall, and what do you think the benefits might be? I’ve included some amazing photos, which look like optical illusions. If we’d had these during 7th grade, our brains probably would’ve exploded. Please share your thoughts. And have a great day!

Doing a radio interview.

Aboard the Queen Mary with his mother.

Just chillin’ with a friend.

Not sure what’s going on here. But look at that shit!

With his high school class.

Dinner time.

Voting for the first time, in 1939.

Birthday boy!

With his family.

Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (jeff@thewvsr.com). Thank you, guys!

Apparently the Temple University experiment is over already. We took the younger boy down there eight days ago, and last night they “paused” in-person classes for two weeks. So… we’re bringing him back home. Good stuff. I’m glad we burned so many anxiety calories on that crap.

Yesterday a woman at work, whose first language is not English, said to me, “I haven’t seen you all morning. And you’re so big! How could I miss you?!” So, there you go.

Today at 7:40 am there was an impossible godawful racket outside that woke me up. After urinating furiously, I went downstairs and gave Toney the international sign for “WTF?” (hands extended, palms up), and she told me somebody’s apparently building an extension onto their house nearby. It wasn’t even 8 am! It sounded like they were trying to saw the garage off — just some kind of crazy, incessant screeching grindage. What in the pop and lock shit is going on?! Not everybody works 9 to 5, assholes. Annoying.

I’ve been listening to Bob Seger all morning. It’s an unusual choice for me, but I’m enjoying it. I’m currently playing Night Moves, which came out in 1976. I don’t think I’ve listened to the entire album since… maybe 1982 or 1983? It’s scratching some kind of primal itch.

In the latest episode of the podcast I talk about a K-Mart-like store in my hometown where my friends and I engaged in much jackassery, back during the days when Night Moves and Stranger In Town were new releases. Check it out here.

I took Thursday and Friday off from work, and Monday is a holiday. So… I just have to survive through Wednesday and I’ll have a big honkin’ five days off in a row. Also, our 27th wedding anniversary falls in there somewhere, during those five days. Twenty-seven years! That seems crazy to me. We were married by a judge who had a radio show in Atlanta, threw the best party of all-time that night at Swissotel, and spent a week in San Francisco. Now? I’m just bitching all the time, getting insulted for my impossible-to-missness, and singing along to “Betty Lou’s Getting Out Tonight.”

And by the way… Betty Lou. What a tramp! She’s getting “out,” which conjures some questions right out of the box. So to speak. And the mere rumor of it has caused the poor druggist to go insane? He finally had to up and close the store? Man, that’s some world-class looseness, right there. Godspeed, Betty Lou. Crank it up!

I’m strongly considering Chinese carryout for lunch. I think I’m going with L14, beef and broccoli. The sauce they use is delicious. What are you having for lunch? Or what did you have, if it’s in the rear view mirror as you read this? Tell us all about it, won’t you? It’s of utmost importance.

I’ll see you guys again soon.

Have yourselves a great day!

Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (jeff@thewvsr.com). Thank you, guys!

He went to a local school and got his associate’s degree, but is now going to Temple University to finish his bachelor’s. We’ve known this for a long time, of course. But now it’s about to freaking happen, and whenever I think about it my stomach drops. Not that I worry about him getting into trouble (not really), or being able to do the work (not an issue). It’s something more vague and murky than that. It’s more to do with the fundamental change to our family that’s fixin’ to occur. It’s time, I know, but that doesn’t help with the emotional side of it. It’s always sad when one chapter closes, ya know? The current situation is sometimes irritating (God knows), but the thought of it changing? I’m not really a fan o’ that, either. It’s all emotion, nothing to do with logic… I know we’ll survive, but it’s taking its toll. The older boy is having a harder time with it than anticipated, too. It’s going to be a rough couple of weeks.

Because of the virus, the move-in process is nothing short of ludicrous. I know that might be hard for some of you to believe. But we have a one-hour window to get him all set up, then we have to go. No lingering… no long goodbyes. We’ll just have to sprint in and out of his building with baskets of bedding ‘n’ shit, and hit the highway. Maybe that’s better? Also, our appointed hour starts at 8:40 am on Sunday. So, we’re going to have to leave our house at some impossible hour. Like six in the morning? Sweet sainted mother of Al Hrabosky! And only one parent can be in the building at once. So, when Toney’s up there, I’ll have to wait outside, and vice versa. It’s going to be one weird-ass day. I’m going to propose Cracker Barrel afterward, just to get ourselves centered. I hope I’m not blubbering straight into my hash brown casserole.

He’s going to have three roommates. Four of them together in one dorm/apartment. He knows nothing, has not been in contact with any of them… or even creeped on their Facebook pages. I find that incredible. I’d be all up in that shit. Oh well. And every student has to be tested within 24 hours, then weekly thereafter. There are testing centers on campus, and it’s up to each student to keep up with it. And if they don’t… their badges will be turned off and they won’t be able to scan into any of the buildings. That’s a pretty solid incentive. Right?

Also… Temple is in a not-so-great area of Philly. That’s another small concern. The campus is safe, I’m sure. But the surrounding area? Not so much. Hopefully he’ll be careful. He probably will be. But it’s fuel for scenarios. And I’m a master at conjuring the tragic scenarios. I have a black belt in it.

So, that’s going on. Also, my car is in the shop: water pump. It supposedly requires four hours of labor to replace it, and is costing us $476. Grrr… It overheated a few nights ago, while I was driving home from work. My dad told me it was almost certainly the thermostat or water pump, and said the latter would be more expensive to fix. So, there you go. My nipples are exploding with delight. There’s nothing I enjoy more than handing over large sums of money to get us back to where we were three days ago. Man, that’s good stuff.

And speaking of ball-crushing… I need to get ready for work now.

I don’t really have a question, just a quick check-in. I hope you’re all doing well.

I’ll see you soon.

Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (jeff@thewvsr.com). Thank you, guys!

Toney and I were talking about sounds that drive us crazy yesterday. I have a bunch o’ them, and so does she. However, they don’t overlap much. And she thinks my list is ridiculous, while hers is perfectly logical. It’s funny how that works, right?

She says for her it’s all “human” sounds. Including, but not limited to the following:

• Lip smacking
• Gum chewing
• Whistling
• Foot tapping
• Finger drumming
• Knuckle cracking

I also cannot stand the first two on that list, especially the lip smacking. It’s one of those things that almost makes me angry. Was there no home training? How was this atrocity allowed to continue deep into adulthood?! My parents would’ve put an end to that shit long before it was allowed to metastasize. Hell, some people seem to have a mouth with perfect acoustics to accentuate the noise and project it into the room. Like a tiny Hollywood Bowl with teef. I’ve attempted to re-create the impossible volume of random people eating chips and salsa in Mexican restaurants, and can’t do it. Not even if I really go for it and risk a catastrophic chip laceration.

But I also have others that Toney believes are ridiculous.

For instance… the sound of someone talking through a walkie-talkie almost makes my brain explode. I don’t know why. I think it’s just the shrillness of it, and the unnecessary high volume. I’m almost certain you can adjust the volume up and down, right? Why are they always — without exception — kept on the LUDICROUS setting? Also, walkie-talkies are not telephones, you shouldn’t be having full conversations over them. Grrr… I’m getting annoyed just writing about it. Whenever we’re in Sam’s Club or Home Depot, where the employees all carry those things, I’m about to crawl out of my skin. And Toney doesn’t seem to even hear it.

Also… somebody dragging a chair across a tile floor. If you have to move it, pick the thing up and set it back down. We were in a brew pub a few months ago, with the unfortunate name Wallenpaupack Brewing Company, and it was like a school cafeteria in there. It was huge and cavernous, with tile or linoleum on the floor. Everybody kept dragging and shoving their metal chairs, and causing loud scraping noises. I was shouting, “Seriously?!” It was nothing short of maddening, and Toney… nothing. It didn’t even register with her. Amazing. But if somebody had been across the room tapping their foot, it would’ve been a different story.

Another one that makes me crazy: incessant beeping, like on heavy machinery or a forklift or whatever. It can go on for a limited amount of time and I roll with it. But at some point a threshold is crossed and I flip my lid. It’s like Chinese water torture. STOP IT! MAKE IT STOP!! I’LL BURN THIS PLACE TO THE FUCKING GROUND! And Toney doesn’t even notice it.

Sometimes it goes the other way, but not often. The most obvious example of that was when Andy, the king of dogs, was still with us. Any kind of noise he would make with his mouth made Toney lose her mind. Like if he was drinking water “too long,” or licking his ass or wiener or whatever dogs are always doing. I sincerely didn’t notice any of it, but she could seemingly lock in on that crap from a different floor of the house. Sheesh, I’d say. What a kook.

What do you have on this subject? Which sounds cause you to wince and grimace? Bring us up to date on it in the comments. Any unique ones? Anything out of the ordinary? I’m interested to read all about it.

And before I call it a day here, I have a few links to share. Some friends o’ the site and podcast have some cool projects going, which I want to alert you guys to.

Producer Zipp does a hilarious podcast with his friend Bob, called No Redeeming Qualities. Every year they produce counter-programming to Shark Week, and do a series of shows about a different animal. This years it’s the walrus, and here’s some info about Walrus Week. Good stuff! You should definitely check it out. Also, they asked a local band (they’re in Houston) to create a brief Walrus Week jingle, maybe 10 or 15 seconds long. And the band, called Dompston Checks In, came back with an amazing full-length song, which you can hear right here. Do yourself a favor and crank it up!

Also, my old Peaches Records & Tapes buddy Eugene has a great new(ish) podcast called Wheeler’s Dog — which is a super-obscure Green Acres reference I’ve learned. Eugene is a funny guy and his podcast is really good. He takes a similar approach to it as I do in mine — reacting to things that happen in our everyday lives. But with his own unique Eugene point o’ view. The podcast is available everywhere, and I recommend it. Check it out.

And I’m calling it a day here, my friends.

I hope you’re doing well out there.

Take care!

Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (jeff@thewvsr.com). Thank you, guys!

That’s the thing. There are items on this list that I don’t like, but I know I don’t like them… because I’ve tried them a few times. I’ve met many people who say they don’t like a long, long list of things they’ve never tasted. That bugs me. Also, there’s no shortage (amazingly enough) of full-grown adults who eat like six year olds: hot dogs with ketchup, chicken strips, macaroni and cheese, burgers with next to no toppings, cheese pizza. And not much else. That also bugs me. And… I’ve met many adults who have a weird hang-up about their food “touching.” You know, the mashed potatoes can’t brush up against the corn or they’ll experience some kind of emotional collapse. Freaks.

Also, there are several items on this list I don’t like, but will eat in small amounts. Things like mayonnaise and garlic. The problem there? It’s very difficult for people to exercise restraint with either of those ingredients. Can you think of any others that are more routinely over-used than mayonnaise and garlic? I recall standing in a Subway in Atlanta years ago, apocalyptically hungover, and the woman in front of me kept asking for more and more and more mayonnaise. It was piled up high, jiggling and shiny. I’m not kidding, I nearly barfed. Blecch.

But, when I go to Wendy’s I always order my #1 with “no pickles.” I let the mayo ride. So… I don’t really like it, but I’m semi-reasonable on the subject. Pickles are far too dominating, and also loaded with garlic. Those things can go to hell. However… I do like sweet pickles. Especially with grilled cheese sandwiches, for some reason.

In any case, there are six items on the above list that I’d absolutely say no to, in every case: liver, tofu, asparagus, raw fish, olives, and snails. Liver is nasty. I’ve had tofu, and it’s off-putting. It seems to get bigger as you chew. Asparagus is one of the rare vegetables I don’t care for. Raw fish? What am I, a pelican? You hipsters can have my serving. I could choke down a few olives if I had to, but wouldn’t enjoy it. And snails? Maybe I’m a hypocrite, but I can’t recall ever eating them. And I’m cool with that.

There’s stuff on the list that are not my favorite, but they’re not on the NEVER list. Like zucchini. That’s a mushy bullshit vegetable. But it doesn’t turn my stomach.

How picky of an eater are you? Do you eat like you’re still in fourth grade? Can your food touch or does it trigger nervous exhaustion? How many items on the list above are in your NEVER category? Is my six low? High? Normal? I’m curious to find out. I feel like I’m far from picky, but I’m not going to be engaging in any extreme-eating, either. I’ve had stuff like alligator and snake, and attended a so-called Beast Feast years ago. I stopped at Burger King on my way home from that thing. The snapping turtle bisque just didn’t do it for me. And the coon cutlets were nicely prepared but unsatisfying. I tried it all, though.

Bring us up to date on this one, won’t you? Use the comments section to report your number from the above list, and share your thoughts on picky eaters.

Before I go, I want to alert you to something very cool. Producer Zipp (who does an expert job making my podcast sound semi-professional) and his comedy partner Bob have produced a radio drama called Beer Run. Zipp wrote the script, and the two of them perform all the characters. It’s hilarious, and highly recommended. Check it out here. It’s about fifteen minutes long, and is very creative and funny. Give it a listen!

And I’ll see you guys again soon.

Have a great day!

Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (jeff@thewvsr.com). Thank you, guys!