I had to work last night, on one of my “days off,” and believed we’d only be there a few hours. We had to get caught up on something, and when I left on Wednesday it seemed like a slam-dunk. But, of course, it all turned into a cluster-copulation, and we ended up working well into the next day.
The bigger problem? I miscalculated, and didn’t take a lunch. And since there are no fast food joints anywhere near, I was screwed. I ended up having a Dr. Pepper and a sack of barbecue Fritos from the vending machine.
And when I left there, in the middle of the night, I was freakin’ starving. I considered driving through McDonald’s again, and risking a stay at Leavenworth Prison, but that didn’t sound very appealing to me. What else is open at 2:30 in the morning, though?
Waffle House! Yeah, man. Waffle House would be just what the cardiologist ordered.
So, I walked in there, and took a seat at the high bar. There was a guy who looked like the Unabomber sitting at the low bar, drinking coffee and moving his beady eyes all around. And in one of the corner boofs was a dude with an Apple laptop, scrambled eggs, and lots of file folders full o’ paper.
The lone waitress took my order: cheese omelet, hashbrowns, bacon, and sweet tea. And I watched as the dude prepared my meal, right in front of me.
While I waited, a hipster couple came in, and took a seat behind me. They were talking a little too loudly, and were probably drunk. I mean, it was Waffle House in the middle of the night… Inebriation is almost a requirement.
And I don’t know if it was just because I was especially hungry, or what, but that shit was nothing short of excellent. Everything was fried-up to perfection, and it usually isn’t. I left there, one happy sumbitch.
Then had two Yuenglings, before crawling into bed… Yes, it’s how I’ve been able to achieve and maintain my powerful upper-body.
And speaking of food for the masses, are any of you familiar with a restaurant called Moe’s Southwest Grill? They’re supposedly planning to open one near us, and I’m not familiar. Any good? Anything I should know, before venturing forth?
Yesterday I proclaimed this mildly disturbing video Further Evidence. And I need your help with something… Can you hear someone puking at the very beginning of it? Or is that just my imagination? What in the tri-state hell??
The older Secret told me a kid lost his trunks during swimming practice earlier in the week. They were being timed while swimming freestyle, and the kid logged a disappointing 59 seconds. You know, because his pants were around his ankles…
So, what are they calling him now? That’s correct, Buttcrack 59. And, of course, everyone’s saying, “I’m just glad we weren’t swimming a backstroke!” Good times.
For the record, the kid blames it all on a missing string. His mother washed his trunks the night before, he said, and they came out of the dryer with no string.
Heh. Buttcrack 59.
I forgot to mention this yesterday… When we were at the mall last weekend, to buy my bargain fleece jacket, we passed two women praying furiously. They were on a bench outside Old Navy, holding hands, huddled together, and frantically asking the Lord’s assistance with something.
What do you think that was all about? Do you think they were praying for their Visa card to not be denied? Any ideas? I need closure.
And will you be buying Chinese Democracy, when (if) it’s finally released on November 23? I’m kinda curious, and will probably pick up a copy, if the price is right. What about you? Any interest?
And since I have, let’s see, seven more items on my weekend to-do list, I’m gonna stop right here. I warned you not to expect much…
You folks have yourselves a fine one, and I’ll see you on the other side.