An Update Like a LEGO
I’ve received ten or twelve “drawing of my boss” faxes so far. Keep ‘em coming! The number is 570-585-6856. And if you don’t have access to ancient technology, just email a scan to jeff at TheWVSR dot com.
But please make sure it’s something you did by hand, OK? Those are more fun than Microsoft Paint Shop crapola. I’m not really a fan of Microsoft Paint Shop crapola, if you want to know the truth.
Over the weekend I’ll set aside some time to create a gallery, and will make sure everybody’s identity is kept secret. I don’t want anyone getting into trouble, so every precaution will be taken.
A lot of you mentioned Amazon yesterday, after I asked where you shop online. So, I’d like to jettison what little dignity I have left, and remind you to please enter the Amazon site through Surf Report links.
If you do this, and purchase something during your visit, I’ll be paid a small percentage of whatever you spend. It’ll cost you nothing extra, and is a completely painless way to support TheWVSR.
I’m not whining (well, not much), but the Amazon earnings have plunged since I cleaned up the sidebars at the site. I used to have big honkin’ ads up and down the sides, and decided to remove most of them. Predictably enough, the monthly checks, which were never large, have gotten even less-large.
So, if you can remember to use our Amazon links, I’d be much obliged.
Also, I added a so-called widget yesterday, below Bill Hershberger, that shows Amazon blog entries in appropriate categories. There’s some genuinely interesting stuff there, and it’s better than just another flashing, retina-searing advertisement, I think. If you enter AmazonNation through that widget, you’ll be helping us as well.
Thanks for the support, sincerely.
Speaking of Amazon, I was looking at this list yesterday, of their 100 Greatest Indie Rock Albums. And even though I’m “an aging hipster aging hiply” there are several artists on the thing I’ve never heard of.
Like Slint, for instance. Who the hell is Slint? It sounds like a racial slur: “Stinkin’ slints coming over here, taking all our good jobs!“ I’m fairly submerged in this kind of stuff, but have never come across Slint.
I’m unsure about Unrest, as well. It seems vaguely familiar, but only vaguely. However, I’m certain I know nothing of Bonnie “Prince” Billy? The hell? That’s as ridiculous a name as L.L.L. Anderson.
For the record, I own seven of the top ten. Can any of you out-pretentious that shit?
Pass the chickpea humus, dammit.
And speaking of aging (this is all clicking together like one of the translucents’ LEGO projects!), the oldest Secret now has the mosquito ringtone on his phone, that old farts can’t hear.
It bothers me to admit it, but Andy (Mr. Dingles) and both boys can hear it like a freakin’ school bell. But it’s complete silence to me. Test it here. Can you hear anything??
The exploitation of my decline must stop! It must stop, immediately!!
And speaking of Andy (yes!), the younger Secret accidentally dumped his entire dinner in the kitchen floor on Saturday — and ol’ Black Lips Houlihan was on the case, without delay.
Within seconds, probably no more than five, the hound had traveled halfway across the house, and devoured a substantial slice of beef roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, and a large serving of green beans.
At one point he raised his head to chew, and one of those beans was hanging out of his mouth like a cigarette.
I about shit the credenza.
And I need to get to work, so I’d better stop right here.
I’ll leave you with yet another mockable link, and something from the Stealing Clive Bull‘s Topics desk.
On a recent show Clive asked his listeners what movies they believe should NEVER be remade — the ones that are so perfect it would be almost a sacrilege to tamper with. So, what do you think? The Godfather? I can’t imagine anyone ever attempting that one. What else?
Use the comments if you have anything on that subject. Also, what remakes are actually better than the original? Is there such a thing? I’m not talking sequel, I mean remake. How about The Fly? What do you think?
I can’t be late today, so I’d better go.
See ya tomorrow, folks.
Filed under: Daily
Fouist!
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Second!?!
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I’m all up in this Top Ten. Yessir.
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Holy Jeebus – Turd??
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5th?
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Movie never to be remade: Blazing Saddles.
They could never remake it. too politically incorrect.
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just marking my spot in top ten
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“Crowhaven Farm”, a classic.
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Lucky 7!
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Top Ten, yes sir!! That damn tone thing pisses me off to no end.
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“I about shit the credenza” – outstanding!
8khz max – less than stellar
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I got up to 16.7, but it was faint. I’ll be 35 this year by the way. That’s good, right?
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There should be no remake of Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.
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Noone should re-make “Its a mad, mad, mad, mad World”.
Damn ringtone, I could barely hear 14.1, i’m 48.
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Same, barely 14.1 @ age 47.
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I could hear only the first one, the 8k signal. It must be due to my lousy speakers……………..ahem.
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No one should try to remake any David Lean film. Not only would they fail, but it would cost a brazillion dollars these days.
Bonny Prince Billy is one of those guys who keeps changing his stage name as he . . . evolves(?). I was introduced a few years ago and wasn’t too impressed, but he’s a got a following that would make the nihilists in The Big Lebowski look tepid.
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40 and could not make it past 12- Sucks getting old.
I’m kinda of the mindset that really NO movie should be remade. Everytime they try to change somthing up, they ruin it. Remember what they did to Planet of the Apes?
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What, you mean you wouldn’t want to see Shia Lebouf try playing Michael Corleone in a remake of Godfather?
14.1 was the last ringtone I could hear…I’m 47.
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I can’t hear anything over 15.8 MHz. Is that OK for a 44-year-old? I also own 7 out of the top 10 on the indie list. Does that make me cool? Bonnie Prince Billy is Will Oldham (Palace). I agree with the album choice: I See a Darkness is a great one.
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I just spent 450 dollars at Amazon on cds.
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Good Afternoon Surf Reporters………
I heard the 14.9 kHz, I’m 42.
DeMille’s last remake should never be remade.
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I love those “Best XXX of All Time” lists. They always contain a few WTF?!? selections and at least one glaring omission to get people talking about the list. Slint? Never heard of them, but I have heard of The Melkons and Dinosaur Jr., both of whom are conspicuously absent from the list…Such omissions get people bitching, but more importantly, gets these lists posted to sites like FARK and WVSR where they generate traffic for Amazon. Just read the comments section for a sample of fan indignation.
The good news is that Throbbing Gristle was not included.
Movies NOT to remake: Citizen Kane, The Godfather 1 and 2, Taxi Driver, Star Wars: A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back, Apocalypse Now, Blade Runner, Pulp Fiction, Raiders of the Lost Arc, Goodfellas, Wrath of Kahn, Clockwork Orange, etc.
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I have two of the top twenty on the list.
They have me blocked at work so I can’t get to the ring tone sight. Check that when I get home. I can’t hear shit anyway, so I shouldn’t waste my time.
One movie that should never be remade. Animal House. Don’t screw with a classic.
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The ringtone test says I’m in a mid-life crisis. How the hell does it know that?
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Work blocked the ringtones….grrrrr…..
Movie That Should Never Be Remade: Arthur (based solely on Dudley Moore & Sir Alec Guiness’s casting)
Better Re-Make Movie: Titanic (James Cameron version)
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Heh. I forwarded the ringtone link to some co-workers, now the whole office sounds like it has some kind of infestation.
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Well, I’d written myself off as old & deaf when I tried it the first time — only made it to 14.1. Then we tried it on a coworker’s computer (he has good speakers) and I could hear all but the last one. So now I’m just old.
Shit the credenza. *snort*
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After I turned my speakers up all the way, I got to 14kHz. I’m deafern’ a doornail.
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Jeff! Baby I love you, but c’mon. Slint are legends. This doesn’t mean you’ll like them of course, but their album Spiderland is straight up masterwork. And Bonnie Prince Billy’s been making records for almost twenty years now under a bunch of names. He’s the real deal man. Johnny Cash and Nick Cave were (and the latter still is) big advocates of him. Master and Everyone, I See a Darkness, Ease on Down the Road, The Letting Go are all amazing (and under the Bonnie Prince Billy name.) There is No One What Will Take Care of You, Arise Therefore, Joya, are amazing places to start for Palace records. He’s an acquired taste, but once acquired you’ll be inspired. This stuff will be around.
article on:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/01/05/090105fa_fact_sanneh
fan site:
http://users.bart.nl/~ljmeijer/oldham/
Drink the Kool Aid Jeff.
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Jeff (cc: fellow travelers),
I’ve been reading your stuff since Christ was a cowboy, and read the comments section until, perhaps, three years ago. Your writing has always been worth the read and more, and I hit the links every day (not golf — “now playing”, “further evidence” and “bunker cam”) and they are always fun and sometimes have sweetened my night.
But the “Comments” page was a drag. There were nice people like wordnerd and, later Dorothy and her daughter, but there was little incisive analysis and even less fun.
So after reading your column of yesterday, “Honing My Jumping to Conclusions Skillz” (yep, amigo, a double el or any other consonant-ending damn word takes a “z” as easily as it takes an “s”) I linked to the comments…
Generally good stuff. I guess fine writing was eventually going to attract clever people and clever comments, but you really displayed some patience. Freaking years, and hardly a chuckle. I don’t know when the tide turned, but I’m so glad for you that it did. Your prose deserves pros, or even amateurs, to acknowledge your genius and their own, in whatever small ways we can possess talent and sagacity. Looks like they found you.
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Howard Hawks remade “Rio Bravo” (1959) with John Wayne, Dean Martin and Ricky Nelson, into “El Dorado” (1967) with John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, James Caan, Arthur Hunnicutt, Ed Asner and Christopher George. Rio Bravo is fun. El Dorado is one of the 20 best movies ever made. Bob Mitchum will just crack you up.So the remake was better.
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Write on; I wish you the best from the great Pacific Northwest.
johnthebasket
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wizard of oz. leave it alone.
only got up to 15.8 at age 38.
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“Shia Lebouf IS Lawrence of Arabia” In real life they are remaking Bonnie & Clyde with Hilary Duff as Bonnie that is wrong on sooo many levels! sort of like remaking Star Trek with a bunch of zit faced morons! Pardon me? what? Oh! they have? Whyyyyyyyyyyyy?
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Although “Star Whores” was quite entertaining, as was “On Golden Blonde.”
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im 32 . only made it to 15.8
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Made it to 17.7 and I’m at 39.
I own thousands of LPs, CD.s and mp3 but not one of the top 100 indies and I’m okay with that.
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18.8
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The last one I could hear was 17.7kHz. And that was on ear bud headphones while iCarly blared in the background. I’ll be 41 years old – tomorrow!
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You are a thirtysomething (True-ish, I’m 30)
You’re a little frustrated that you can’t hear all the tones that the young ‘uns can but will be more than happy if it means you don’t have to listen to their damn ringtones on the bus anymore.
The highest pitched ultrasonic mosquito ringtone that I can hear is 14.9kHz
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Did the 12 on the desktop speakers (at mid-high volume) and people from all over the floor were bitching…
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I got up to the 19. whatever. Pretty good at 31 considering all the gunfire I got to enjoy in the Army!
I would like a live action remake of The Lion King, but with real animals! None of that CGI crap.
Almost choked to death laughing at the green bean cigarette!
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I don’t think any movie should be remade. If the original is classic perfection, don’t screw with it. If the original lacked something, move on and find a new story to tell. Or has humanity exhausted its creativity?
I’m coming up on 42 shortly and can hear all but the last tone. Never thought I had particularly good hearing, but that might explain why being in noisy places gets my blood pressure up and makes my head explode. Perhaps being childless has something to do with it. The auditory nerves and brain cells have not been sufficiently deadened. I must pick up what everyone else has learned block out. Count your blessings.
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No remakes for: The Godfather 1&2 (my absolute fave), Casino, & Goodfellas are the one’s that I immediately think of. And, oh!.. how about Hitchcock’s “Psycho”; Pulp Fiction for sure; Forrest Gump; and no one could out-do Jim Cameron’s Titanic. And for some oldies…Ben Hurr; Sparticus; and The 10 Commandments (w/Charleston Heston)
Now for a few less remembered films:
Halloween
Urban Cowboy
Saturday Night Fever
Rocky (the original)
Carrie (which was redone and horrible!)
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Ha! I only had one CD out of the whole 100 and I don’t even think it’s the best of that artist.
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I can’t hear a damn thing.
No remakes of CITIZEN KANE or DR. STRANGELOVE. Or anything involving the Three Stooges, which is purportedly in the works…
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I own 6 (possibly 7 – would have to check) of the top 10. WTF is 69 Love Songs doing languishing at #11?! And why only Volume 1 of said? Does the Amazon Greatest Rock Albums list have The White Album (side 3 only) on it?
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16.7, age 32…not bad, but it still pissed me off.
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They can’t remake “The Great Escape”. They’d only ruin it.
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16.7 and I’m 33 years old. I don’t know about the movies. I’ve been watching a lot of movies that I saw as a kid via Netflix. And without exception they are total shit. It’s terrible because I remember them as being very good, and I talk them up before they get to the house. Total shit.
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14.1 @ 55
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Ringtone?
I’m 48 and used to work on F-4 j/s jets (VMFA212 radar) for quite some time.
Yet I can hear the 21 kilohertz tone.
I dunno about remakes, but I’m convinced that both Animal House & Caddyshack were released missing scenes.
I’d like to see these films re-released “whole”.
Happy birfday to the evil twin’s wife!
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Hands off ” One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest “
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Bonnie “Prince” Billy is a pseudonym of Will Oldham, a Louisville musician. I think he’s great (“I See a Darkness” would be in my top ten), but his stuff’s not for everyone, especially if you’re not into weird, whispery, folky stuff.
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I got to 16.7 as a 39 year old drummer/bassist. Color me surprised. Almost all of the tones pissed me off, even the ones I couldn’t hear. I can tell if the teevee’s on in the next room even with no signal – hate that noise! It’s like bugs smoking crack in the back of my mind. I think.
No Bruce Campbell movie should be remade.
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Whoops – the hazards of sharing computers – that last one was me…
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Now I know I am crazy for many reasons, but Jeff…wasn’t The Fly already a remake?!?!?!?!
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21.1 at age 31, and I listen to a lot of loud music a lot of the time. The results indicated that I was a dog…and I’m okay with that.
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No remake of “The Sound of Music.” In fact, the original should never have been made.
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14.1 and I’m 46 – soon to be 47 in a few weeks – with one ear that was blown out at a Michael Schenker concert back in the 80s. MAN those sounds are annoying. I’m glad I can’t hear ‘em.
I must agree with most all the movie choices so far listed. Especailly Citizen Cane, Caddy Shack, Blazing Saddles and anything Bruce Campbell made. Has anyone mentioned Casablanca? If not, I will.
I am appalled – APPAlLED I tells ya – that they are even thinking about remaking the Three Stooges. Curly Joe was bad enough!
Yes, the Fly was remade with Jeff Goldblum as the Vincent Price character back in the 80s. Not bad, actually.
Happy Tuesday, Surfers!
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I don’t know why this just popped into my head, but 2001: A Space Odyssey should never be remade. I mean, what would be the point??
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Gone With The Wind
The Ten Commandments
Wizard of Oz.
The Hunt For Red October
Leave ‘em alone.
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I could hear everyone of those little ring tones. ‘Course, I have Tinnitus so that was pretty much expected. Hey guess what, I still hear them all and I ain’t even pushing the little test buttons!
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Remaking DW Griffith’s Birth of a Nation might not go over really well in this day and age. In part, because it might be difficult to find a large group of actors to do black-face.
Its probably a better idea to re-make Annie Hall using barnyard and other domesitc animals in place of human actors. Kind of like a mash-up of Woody Allen neurotic humor with the talking animal cuteness of ‘Milo and Otis’ or ‘Babe’.
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14.1. I am only thirtyish. bummer.
Hope to never remake Goodfellas
and Breakfast Club..or did they already?? blah
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Dammit! I only heard up to the 14.1 and I’m 26. I must secretly be a little old lady inside… that explains why I get sleepy at 8:30 p.m…
They have already done the unthinkable, and remade “Halloween.” And “Nightmare on Elm Street,” which comes out next year, I believe. However, they can NEVER remake “Heathers” or “Beetlejuice” (both Winona Ryder movies, huh). Someone above mentioned “A Clockwork Orange,” which is also true.
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Amen, cross lanes curmudgeon.
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Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure?
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14.1 was the last one i could hear, 36f
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Never remake: Ghostbusters, Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Philadelphia Story, Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, West Side Story, Blazing saddles, Young Frankenstein, Goodfellas, Taxi Driver, Silence of the Lambs, …
However it would now be awfully fun to recast all these movies as modern Hollywood would.
Philadelphia Story: Matthew Mcconaughey asC.K. Dexter Haven, Sandra Bullock as Tracy Lord and Aston Cusher as Macaulay Connor and Abigal Breslin as Dinah Lord… The Suburbs have never been so funny. Of course Philadelphia Story was already remade as “High Society”, but since that was a musical I am blocking it out.
And I agree 1000% with Yvonne on Heathers… although I hear its coming to Broadway
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15.8, barely, with my speakers at regular volume; 21.1 with my speakers up all the way. I’m 36, so I guess that’s good.
I understand “Evil Dead” is being remade. Sans Bruce. UGH.
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Chickpea hummus? Isn’t that redundant?
I’m loyal man… always go through your link to get Amazon. And now that I can’t STAND shopping with other humans… I shop Amazon alot.
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According to the test I am mosquito, which would not surprised my son who swore I could hear him in the back yard with the door closed. Oh yeah!
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probably the only store I havent had a problem at
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Knucklehead – Jeff Goldblum played the scientist in Cronenberg’s “The Fly” remake, which would have been the character of Andre (played by David Hedison in the original), not the Vincent Price character – Vinny played the character of Francois, the scientist’s brother…
I think most classics should never be remade. Remakes virtually never improve on the original, and crap like the Gus Van Sant’s “Psycho” remake is just illogical. However, one remake that does come to mind is John Carpenter’s remake of “The Thing,” which was much different than the Hawks/Nyby original, but in some ways much closer to Campbell’s original story than the original movie was. Both flicks are classics in their own right.
I’m gonna go check out that Indie list. I strongly suspect that it will contain every single Pavement disc, as well as lots of titles that no one really enjoyed listening to, but made the listmakers appear to be really hip.
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Who cares about hearing and music – we’re SAGACIOUS! Woohoo!!! That’s Basketcase, or whatever your name is!
Oh, and Dave? The tinnitus thing cracked me up – I hear your pain.
Oh wait, no I don’t, because I have tinnitus too! Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee……..
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Test results – 14.9 here, and even then it was more like the absence of something than a real sound…as though tiny worms were screaming in my brain.
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One more – with the sound turned halfway up on the high-test ‘puter speaker system, I get to 17.7. My eyeballs might be bleeding, but I can HEAR, dammit!
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Movie remake better than the original: The Thing
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This is getting kinda Bloggy
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Hmm… I totally agree with the Godfather.
Field of Dreams
Dances with Wolves (there ends the Costner kick)
Braveheart
Strange Brew
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
Gangs of New York
The Departed
Boondock Saints
Labyrinth
do I sense a theme?
I think most movies should not be remade.
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I overslept today (I blame Obama), and now the kids are home because of parent/teacher conferences, or whatever.
This ain’t gonna happen today. I’m sorry, but I need to leave for work in an hour, and haven’t written a single word.
I’ll update on Thursday AND Friday to make up for my shameful half-assery.
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Damn you Obama! Damn you!
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0.0000000003 and my eyesight is 850/795 so fuck all of you.
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I suppose the liberal media will spin this too.
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The hearing thing is worthless. How about we talk spurt distance? I can hit the tv without getting off the couch.
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I enjoyed both the original and the remake of Cape Fear. Both of which were well done.
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While reviewing the list of top 100 indie albums I noticed that there wasn’t a pick for #72. What they couldn’t slide everything up one slot., or was it that there were no bands worthy of this vaulted position. Just think that out there somewhere is a group of dedicated musicians that would’t sell out to the man waiting on the publication of this list to validate their message. Now because of a clerical oversight the music of great malcontents such as Cast Iron Breeze, Used Plunger, Rusty Piston and many many more will never be heard. The great musicians of our time have been snubbed because there were no bands worthy of the 72nd slot on the list. Oh the shame of it all.
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Sent my boss in!
Speaking of bosses (Ah!)
I can barely hear the 18.8 and nothing above that. Gee. I’m turning 25 in a few days and it makes me feel old. Though not as old as my boss who can barely hear the 16.7 He’s allowed; he’s old enough to be my dad.
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CRAP!!!…I was all set to be first today..:-(
Yesterday I was at 10…this morning…12. I guess if I get up early enough and move around quitely, the voices don’t wake up right away.
The Usual Suspects…love it
@Melissa… re:Arthur…Hobson = Sir John Gielgud..but I agree.!
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For god’s sake Jeff! considering what we pay you, where is our update Dammit! As members of the WSVR cult if we cant get an update how about a nice refreshing cup of cool aid? wait a minuite my spidey senses are telling me thats a bad idea!
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Fuggit. I’m going to lose some weight. I’m terrified that Richard Simmons is going to drag a camera crew in here and cry over me while I lay in bed.
Later, bitches.
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Any twinkled toed cock sucker that remakes Full Metal Jacket will have to answer to me!
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Napoleon Dynamite should never be remade. No one but Jon Heder could get that “GAAWWD” right
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Thanks, Jeff for the ringtones
If I ever needed confirmation of my impending deafness, this was it. I could only hear to 10.0 kHz and I’m 46. Anything higher was non-existent for my ears. My son who is 5 could only hear up to 17.7 kHz so let me guess . . . he’s inherited my hearing.
Add this tidbit to the information from my opthamalogist . . . because I am soooo near-sighted (myopia?) there is a chance of tearing my retinas from their wall so I may not be able to see in the future (not that I can now).
The next decade should be a barrel of laughs!! Pass the beernuts.
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Two links to check out, until I get back from the orthodontist and beer section of Wegmans, and finish today’s update:
http://thewvsr.com/index.php/glass-bathrooms/
http://mockable.org/8-reasons-hall-oates-are-better-than-chronic-respiratory-disease/
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“GAAWWD”
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I saw deaf people arguing twice in one week! WTH?
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Tammie – was it the same couple or different ones? Maybe there’s an “prop ears” convention going on in the area?
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Orthodontist? Must be one of the kids. No way Jeff would survive that.
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100th mutha fukas
sorry…
you’re right…
that wasn’t needed or necessary,
my apologies.
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It was different ones Bill!
Maybe there is something going on?
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Hey Bill and Tammie……………I work with two deaf guys. They are always going of on someone, with their fingers! uh…………..that didn’t sound right!!!!!
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Question for you Tammie………………….Would heavy petting with a deaf person be considered oral sex? Since they tallk with their hands……………………..? Just sayin………….
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Well, they also read lips, don’t they. LOL – that could be an “interesting” conversation.
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Anything directed by Mel Brooks, especially Blazing Saddles…
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What the hell is that orthodontist doing?
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Great! What now?
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Not again Obama! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
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Ol’ Jeff must have those Chicklets teef.
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Gosh I don’t know Jerry….but I think I’ll consider that as I fall asleep tonight. I always enjoy having something different to think about as I drift off. Makes for some great dreams.
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12 at age 52. Pretty pathetic…
Never remake “The Quiet Man”. It’s perfect in every way.
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That post was meant for yesterday’s report…
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