An Update From Inside A Snowbank
It’s been snowing all day here, with no letup in sight. And that’s coo’ with me. All four of us are home with nowhere to go, there’s beer in the fridge, and a new episode of LOST on the DVR. And mister, that’s a combination I can get behind.
This morning I winged it, and made French toast. I’m not much of a cook (OK, I’m not a cook at all), but I insisted on doing it by trial and error. Toney wanted me to find a recipe on the internet, and at least use it as a loose guide. But funk dat. I’m a very busy man.
And I’m telling you… it was fantastic. The first four slices were a little limp, but I quickly adjusted and the rest were perfect: restaurant quality. Of course I’ve scheduled my bypass surgery for late next week, but that’s a subject for another day.
I cracked four eggs into a bowl, splashed in some milk, and added a little cinnamon. I put a giant clump of real butter into an electric skillet, dipped regular ol’ white bread (fancy pants bread is not allowed!) in the eggs and stuff, and fried it up. During the final four slices I dumped some of the egg mixture directly onto the bread in the buttery skillet, and that made it even better.
I don’t think I’ve had French toast in twenty years, and man… it was good stuff. Give me a few weeks to perfect my technique further, and I’ll be ready to go on Throwdown! with Bobby Flay.
And yes, I am a bit embarrassed that I know about that show… But what are you going to do?
And speaking of the French, I watched a movie called The Vanishing a few nights ago, via Netlix/PS3. It’s French, or possibly Dutch, with subtitles. But it’s also a very good, straightforward Hitchcock-like suspense film. Highly recommended.
The surprise ending was a mind-blower, and I thought about it all the following day. Yowza. Have any of you seen it? I’m talking about the original version, not the Hollywood remake that reportedly eats it from the ass-in.
Also, what are your favorite surprise movie endings? I’m loaded up on butter, eggs and maple syrup, and can’t think of any others at the moment. Can you?
And since we’re talking about movies… I want to go on the record now, and make it official: I will NEVER see Avatar. Thank you, that is all.
And it’s fairly noisy in here, what with the slaughter of Russians happening right around the corner, and somebody watching The Who on YouTube somewhere nearby, etc. So, I’m going to cut this one a little short.
I do have a Question of the Day for you guys, however. And I think it’s something we’ve never covered before… I’d like your help in building a list of all hit songs with cursing in them.
And I’m talking about HIT songs, not some obscure Dead Kennedys tune, or anything like that. I mean songs that have somehow been played on the radio for years (classic rock, usually) with cussing in them.
I’ll get the ball rolling:
Who the fuck are you? in “Who Are You” by The Who
Do goody-good bullshit in “Money” by Pink Floyd
“The Bitch is Back” by Elton John
You make a dead man come in “Start Me Up” by the Rolling Stones
There are a million others. Help me out, won’t you? It’s very important that we compile a master list. If for no other reason, do it for the Internet!
And I’ll see you guys tomorrow. I’m going to attempt to interact with my family now…
Have a great day.
Now playing in the bunker
Filed under: Daily
Foist!
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I just spurted.
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Hello!
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2?
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Damn. Almost second.
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Hearing “Who the fuck are you?” BLEW my 14-year-old mind. Thought the swears were limited to rap at that point.
Ditto on Avatar. And put The Vanishing on my queue, thanks Jeff!
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Being obnoxious…
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Pusher Man – Pete Shelley – God Damn the Pusher Man! Sorry, I dont’ normally use such language, but you asked.
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“all that funky shit going down in the city” – Jet Airliner The Steve Miller Band. They changed the word “shit” to “kicks” up until around 1995, then just let the original song fly as is.
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The Vanishing was an Excellent (with a capital E) movie. It would also be an good example to use to show whats wrong with the Hollywood movie mentality when you compare the remake with the original (avoid the remake at all costs!).
Sid Vicious: “My way”, ‘you cunt’.
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There was a Baby’s song that ended:
“All I really wanna do
Oh, I really wanna fuck you”
Happy Wednesday, Surfers!
Oh, and Jeff – no sugar in the French Toast batter?
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It’s 4 o’clock in the morning DAMNIT, listen to me good… Elton John – Someone Saved My Life Tonight
Now you’re messin’ with a SOB – AC/DC
Damned if I do, Damned if I don’t – unknown sucky 80s band
Does “sqweeze my lemon ’till the juice runs down my leg” count? Zeppelin
Clearly I remember, pickin’ on the boy; seemed a harmless little fuck – Jeremy – STP
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Forgot about this one. Billy Joel – Piano Man – Your sister’s gone out. She’s on a date. You just sit at home and masturbate. May not be a curse word, but pretty racy for 1973. I can remember the first time iIheard it. Almost swallowed my tongue!
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Good Afternoon Surf Reporters……
I’m really drawing a blank on any songs that haven’t already been mentioned. Maybe I’m thinking too mainstream. JK did say Hit songs, though.
To add to the cooking commentary, I love to cook. And I’m not talking burgers & dogs on the grill. I don’t do too many dishes, but I crank out is pretty kick ass if I do say so myself…patting self on back
Western PA / Pittsburgh is still in Snowpocalypse mode. Shit just keeps coming down. I’m bugging out of work soon, got to re-up the beer supply. Gots to have the beer, man.
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Does Rage Against the Machine’s No. 1 2009 Christmas British hit count–even if it was an on purpose man-made thing? I mean, “Fuck You I won’t do what you tell me” is pretty rough at work. I generally just reach over and turn the old XM down to 9 when it comes on. The motherfucker part makes me cringe a little, too.
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I dunno if it’s the same one as SkullyWV mentions above, but:
Now you’re messing with a son-of-a-bitch – “Hair of the Dog”, by Nazareth
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What’s that rap song with the curse word in it?
Anyway, that’s the one I’m thinking about.
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I loved Avatar actually…I think you’d like it if you see it in 3-D.
As for the songs, I’d have to say “Fuck Her Gently” By Tenacious D. Makes me laugh every time I hear it.
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um.. “Walk on the Wild Side” Lou Reed/Velvet Underground..but she never lost her head, even when she was giving head…. but that’s not a swear word Damn it.
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The movie with a surprise ending that is still phuck dup to watch is “Seven” with Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman.
“Bartender” by Rehab: So I jacked the keys to her fuckin’ car….Crashed that piece of shit and then stepped away….
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Oh, and how about every single word in Axl’s rant in “Get in the Ring” by Guns ‘n Roses? Here’s a sample:
“And that goes for all you punks in the press
That want to start shit by printin’ lies
Instead of the things we said
That means you
Andy Secher at Hit Parader
Circus Magazine
Mick Wall at Kerrang
Bob Guccione Jr. at Spin,
What you pissed off cuz your dad gets more
pussy than you?
Fuck you
Suck my fuckin’ dick”
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jeeze…. does Bob Dylan using the “N” word in “Hurricane” count? WDVE in Pittsburgh plays it during the Electric Lunch, but they fade it out.
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Songs that are played on the radio! We’re already getting off-track here…
And I didn’t think of putting sugar in the French toast batter, Knucklehead. It never crossed my mind. Will it help me defeat that Flay asshole?
It’s freezing in this house. Holy crap!
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“I’m the man in the box
Buried in my shit ”
Man in the Box – Alice in Chains
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re: sugar in your French toast… I throw just a sprinkle of raw sugar on top before I plop it on the griddle. It adds a tiny bit of a crispness to it. Good gawd, now I think I know what I’ll make for dinner tonight . again, I’ll add a little schmear of cream cheese.
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Oh, you mean AM/FM radio–sorry. Haven’t listened to that since about 2002, I think. I withdraw my answer and won’t participate further.
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Yeah Vicki! Satellite radio is the bees knees!
Jeff you won’t be missing anything if you don’t go see Avatard. Have you seen Dances with Wolves? It’s the same thing! What a waste of time. I knew it would be but I was tired of everyone looking at me like I’m from another planet when I’d say I hadn’t seen it. I thought the 3D and story in Journey to the Center of the earth was better and I hate that Brendan Frasier!
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I was talking about Sid Vicious and that Guns n Roses rant, Vicki. Not your answer. I’ve never heard Sid on the radio, although it would be kinda cool, I guess.
I done told you once, you son of a bitch, I’m the best that’s ever been… The Devil Went Down to Georgia
FM by Steely Dan was pushing the limit, too, with “Give us some funked-up music…” I don’t think that’s what they were saying by the end of the song.
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Ha!!! Finally,I’ve seen a bunker cam before you posted it. ThereIfixedit.com. Ha! I feel I have accomplished something in life. Of course I’m drunk at 1:45 in the afternoon on a wednesday so I’m not sure how accomplished I actually am. Have a great week Surf Reporters!!!!
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Oooh, I’ve got one:
Too Drunk to Fuck by the Dead Kennedys
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By the way, I took the day off today, I’m not a total loser…jeez…Jeff, this is crazy, I’m on the surf report comment sectionas the same time as you. Probably telling you way to much but since I’ve discovered this sight I’ve felt so much better that there are other people that have the same warped sense of humor as me!!!
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“…she’s so God-damned cold!”
from “She’s So Cold” by The Rolling Stones.
“Tit tit tit tit tit tit….”
“Girl” by The Beatles
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I’m not very good at the music stuff but I’m sure some Green Day would fit the criteria but I’m to lazy to figure out which ones were hits.
Jeff, did the furnace conk out?
Think I may hafta have some french toast for dinner tonight, mmmm maybe fry up some sausages oh yeah nuttin’ like breakfast for dinner.
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Speaking of Rage Against and the XM, right now I’m hearing Guerrilla Radio and “Lights out, Guerrilla Radio, turn that shit up.” Didn’t they sort of play that on FM when it first came out or did I dream that?
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i saw “the vanishing,” several years ago—absolutely great film. the US version did indeed suck. i also suggest “death at a funeral.” screamingly funny. just recommended it to my male secret.
what, no vanilla in your french toast?
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Yeah, I’m 54 years old and still like me some 90s Funk Punk Rap Rock. What of it?
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“Maragritaville”…if damn is a cuss word.
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James Blunt – You’re Beautiful
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
fucking high,
And I don’t think that I’ll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
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HER TITS WERE shakin’ ’til the middle of the night
Eddie Money- Shakin’
The Sixth Sense, The Others- Both suprise endings
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“It’s been a while
Since I’ve gone and fucked things up just like i always do
It’s been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when i’m with you
But everything I can’t remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I’ve rendered
I’ve gone and fucked things up again”
–Staind
#1 radio’s most played song for the decade.
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Miller-That is an awesome song, just listened to it on Lola.com and they had the PG version apparrently as it was “flying” high.
And as Gary Burbank would say “I must be off”
see ya!
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Yer s’posed to put nutmeg in the egg/milk batter, and can then top the cooked toast w/ brown sugar instead of syrup if ya want to!
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I’m terrible at remembering movie titles. Maybe you guys can help me with the title. Richard Gere played a lawyer for this guy that killed a preacher. The defendant pretended to have split personality disorder. He’d mumble and act crazy sometimes then he’d get all pissed and act violent. After the lawyer got him off he revealed that his split personality thing was an act. Blew my mind.
I like to cook crystal meth but not much else. You gotta do what you gotta do in this economy.
I got nothing on the music front.
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Now your messin wuth a SOB is Nazareth…not AC/DC. just sayin’.
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Wow 2 re-posts from Jeff. I think he might be getting upset with our A.D.D. to the topic
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I love breakfast food – but usually don’t eat until later in the day, so that becomes dinner.MMMM French toast and strawberry jam – haven’t had that in about 15 years but maybe that’s on the menu for tomorrow.
Favorite line in a song ACDC – ‘She told me to come but I was already there’. – classic.
A.D.D.? I thought that’s what this was about – Isn’t Jeff away in a Yurt?
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@ Jason: Primal Fear. Edward Norton’s performance launched his career and freaked the shit outta me.
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Nothing wrong with the furnace, WB. Well, nothing except Toney hates to use it. I don’t even think about it, until I realize my ears and the tip of my nose are cold, then I look at the thermostat and it’s cranked all the way to the left. Grrr…
I’m going to watch LOST now, and drink an unreasonable number of beers.
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Howz about The Pretenders “Middle of the Road”….
Don’t harass me kid,Can’t you tell I’m going home, I’m tired as hell,I’m not the cat I used to be,I’ve got a kid, I’m thirty-three baby.
Pretty mild, but hey……
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When did JK get back from London?
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Thanks Kristy.
I think Jim Gaffigan said that the food network is like porn when you’re hungry. It’s humiliating when someone walks in and catches you. “What are you watching?” “Food Network.” “Why do you have your pants pulled down?”
That one song where they say, “wrapped up like a douche, another runner in the night….” is pretty ballsy.
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Suprise endings: The Usual Suspects, Arlington Road
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Ok, I’ll get technical here. ‘The Vanishing’ is from Belgium, but of course they are speaking French. And yes, that is a damn good movie. Of course the ending was ruined for me because I actually wasted 2 hours of my life with the Jeff Bridges/Keanu “24″ Sutherland version. The only good thing about it was the off-ing of Sandra Bullock. Did I give away too much? See it to find out!
Now Playing on iPhone: “Listen Like Thieves” by INXS (No cussing that I’m aware of…)
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When’s the last time y’all motherfuckers had a candy necklace? I ate one earlier today and it was delicious.
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Closer by Nine Inch Nails
“I want to fuck you like an animal”
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Nothing to add for the topic off the day but I did get to experience my first aborted takeoff in an airliner yesterday. After a 2 hour wait to be de-iced in Cincy we started down the runway, made it about half way and then felt the brakes slame on. Then it was another 2 hour wait.
Made for a long day.
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“Little T&A” by the Stones. I always thought the lyric in question was “her tits, her ass, her soul,” but according to various song-lyric web sites, it’s actually “My tits and ass with soul.” In both cases, “tits” is one of the legendary “7 dirty words,” and “ass” isn’t far behind (that was an accidental pun, but a good one).
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And regarding all the posts of songs that have obviously never been played on over-the-airways radio, I’m wondering if there might be a generation gap here. There might be some people here who never actually listened to music on AM or FM (at least not as a primary source of music), so they don’t really have a sense of what songs were radio “hits” and what were not. If you’ve grown up getting all your music from the Internet / iTunes / iPod / SiriusXM, you might not have a sense of what the true radio “hits” were, and thus today’s Question of the Day doesn’t quite translate.
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Steve Miller “funky shit goin’ down in the city”
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‘Croupier’ and ‘Seconds’ both have good twists at the end.
Afro Man had a song on the radio a few years ago. It has the line “I was gonna eat yo’ pussy too, but then I got high”. Does that count?
I fancy myself a pretty good cook. Today I made coffee cake: one with a cream cheese filling, one with berries. Complete awesomeness. Tomorrow I will probably whip up a chicken piccata.
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“Damned if I do” was by the Alan Parsons Project….sucky song, but NOT-sucky band, IMHO.
“Sit at home and masturbate” was a lyric from Billy Joel’s Captain Jack, not Piano Man.
My contribution: “PIss up a rope”, by Ween.
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Oh, surprise movie endings contrbution:
The Usual Suspects blew my mind the first time I saw it.
Pulp Fiction was pretty impressive the way it all came together at the end…not sure if that qualifies as a “surprise”, though.
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Titanic really shocked me at the end. I was shocked that I spent money to see that turd. Twice. Stupid women.
I just saw Book of Eli. Not bad. Had a little bit of a twist at the end.
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Elvis Costello’s “Oliver’s Army” has the phrase
“white nigger”.
Would that count?
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OK, I’m old enough that I had a “6 transistor radio” and thought I was hot stuff. Anyway, I know this wasn’t a radio hit, but I don’t care.
I remember always taking care not to bring my “Nillson, Son Of Schmilsson” tape into the house. “You’re breaking my heart, you’re tearing it apart, so fuck you”. I can remember how shocked I was myself when the old 8-track first cranked that one over.
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“Precious” by the Pretenders has “shittin’ bricks” and “fuck off” – not really sure if this got AM/FM radio play, but man, the way Hynde says “fuck off” in that song definitely makes it one of the best rock n’ roll curses of all time. Still.
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Does “if you see Kay” by April wine count??????
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Green Day’s Longview was a pretty big hit (top 20 at least) and had “I smell like shit” and “When masturbation’s lost its fun
You’re fucking lazy”
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I see my NIN nails animal fornicating song is already up here. classic. I make french toast the same way…you have to be quick on the transfer from egg to hot pan…if it doesn’t sizzle you will have soggy. We used to eat it with butter(real) melted on it with cinnamon sugar on top. I prefer it to syrup.
snow!! holy crap!! I can beat that…i live in an obscure state thats starts with I and ends in S…Obama is from here. And a damn earthquake woke my ass up this morning. FYI…sounded like a snow plow going by that was driven my God himself. bout had a coronary.
Beat that snowbunnies back east!! hehe
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remove the nails from above comment. holy hell
replace my with “by”. Sorry. next time I will check.
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I have “if you see kay” but it’s by the Poster Children. Is that a cover?
Is that a possible theme song for the site?
Obama caused the earthquake. He’s trying to get more funding for Illinois. We succesfully tested the earthquake gun on Haiti. Illinois was a “calibration” run.
Iran is next.
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t-storm what I never understood at the end of Titanic was why Leo didnt just climb on top of that lardass & float to safety!
Just spent 2hrs digging out the driveway, pretended I was Tony Montana moving my stash the time just flew by!!
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Casey J, yes you’ve got us beat. I won’t complain about the amount of work of once more digging out my driveway – digging out from an earthquake can be a lot worse.
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ZZ Top – Legs – “Shit I got to have them, the girl is alright.”
Lou Reed – Walk on the Wild Side – “And she never lost her head, even when she was givin’ head”
Joe
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Red Hot Chili Peppers did a cover of “Roller Coaster of Love” that I’ve definitely heard on the radio, and he says “Aaawww, Shit!”
Joe
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I plan never to see Avatar! I’ve never seen Titanic and have no intention of seeing it either! Always something better on another channel whenever it’s been on TV. Shame that I like his Terminators films so much, though …
French toast (or “eggy bread” as some of us Brits call it) but without the cinnamon, is great with bacon and tomato sauce on the side! Yummy!
Two songs with swear words that have sometimes been played on the radio by mistake, instead of the radio edits, are “Freak Scene” by Dinasour Jr and “Creep” by Radiohead ….
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@Joey Jo Jo: I don’t remember the “Aw Shit” in the Peppers’ cover of Roller Coaster, but I DO remember that cover being used in the Beavis and Butthead movie (a cinematic classic, by the way)…that cover of that song ROCKED!
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“And the all time winner has got him by the balls.” Jethro Tull Locomotive Breath.
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“Jeremy” was a Pearl Jam classic, not STP.
Bikerchick, “Se7en” is my favorite movie ever, but you are correct that it had a fucked up ending.
You have to put vanilla in french toast batter. It’s not the same without it.
I think I got here too late to mention any of the songs. Seems like they have already been named.
On IPOD right now- “Dem Bones”- Alice in Chains
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Oh yeah, and I will never see Avatar either.
But then again, I have not seen E.T. Nope, I just refuse.
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Van Halen – Everybody Wants Some
Very end of the song in the fade out:
“Look, I’ll pay you for it, what the fuck”
On some of the stations where I live, you can actually hear the word fuck when the DJ doesn’t start the next song right off.
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best surprise movie endings:
Dirty Mary and Crazy Larry (I still remember the collective gasp in the theater at the end)
Electra Glide in Blue
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t-storm: Hey!! Now you told me you were a romantic mo’fo’…! Titanic was a beeeyouuuteeeful love story!!
AWG: Yeah, “Se7en” still gives me chills even though I’ve seen it umpteen times.
Jason: I believe Edward Norton was either nominated and/or won the Oscar for that performance in “Primal Fear”. He was fantastic.
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I always thought that ” Shine up the battle apple” from Steely Dan’s song Josie would cause a few little old ladies to swoon.
And I agree completely with AWG…you have to have vanilla in your french toast batter.
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Thanks to Beerhound I thought of another…
Van Halen – Hot for Teacher
What do you think the teacher’s gonna look like this year?
Fuck man!
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Member that song by Boy George?
“Do you really wanna hurt me
Do you really wanna make me cry,
Do you really wanna hurt me
Do you really wanna fuck my assssssss”
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Rolling Stones / Some Girls:
White girls they’re pretty funny
Sometimes they drive me mad
Black girls just wanna get fucked all night
I just don’t have that much jam
Warren Zevon / Lawyers, Guns & Money
Send lawyers, guns and money
The shit has hit the fan
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I thought the ending of Gran Torino was quite the shocker.
Dionne-Is that bacon on the side and tomato sauce on the side or is it bacon/tomato sauce? Also is this a British thing or are you just weird?
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These songs aren’t classic rock but they were definitely big hits on FM radio and do still get airplay.
Already mentioned:
Killing in the Name – Rage Against The Machine
Closer – Nine Inch Nails
Jeremy – Pearl Jam
It’s Been Awhile – Staind
Creep – Radiohead
Not mentioned:
Freak on a Leash – KoRn
“Something takes a part of me
You and I were meant to be
A cheap fuck for me to lay.”
You Could Be Mine – Guns n Roses
“With your bitch slap rappin and your cocaine tongue
you get nothing done.”
Kickstart My Heart – Motley Crue
“Years gone by, I say we’ve kicked some ass.
When I’m enraged or hittin’ the stage
Adrenalin rushin’ through my veins
And I’d say we’re still kickin’ ass.”
Sober – Tool
“Jesus won’t you fucking whistle something but the past and done.”
This song wasn’t a hit (although the video was popular) but the blurb from wiki is on topic:
Y’All Want a Single – KoRn
At a running time of 3:22, the song contains 89 uses of the word “fuck” with the repeated line “Y’all want a single, say fuck that – fuck that – fuck that.”, although the radio edit replaces the word “fuck” with “suck”.
Why wouldn’t you want to see Avatar? Seems like some people are trying too hard to be anti-mainstream, believing that makes them “cool”. The film is visually stunning (I saw it in IMAX 3D.) The story may be familiar/predictable/facile but it’s still good…it’s not like this is a completely plotless effects-fest. It is a cinematic experience that brings back the awe factor from when you saw movies as a kid.
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Where’s my damn update?
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I always enjoyed David Allen Coe’s song “Finger Fucking Sally”. Yes it is, look it up.
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Yes Mike, I remember Casey Kasem introducing Finger Fucking Sally. Wasn’t it number one for about three weeks in a row?
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Oh yeah – “…shakin’ your ass”
Sweet Emotion, Aerosmith
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Maple syrup in the french toast batter is pretty good.
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