I’ve been drinking Mountain Dew Throwback, because I want to believe it’s better. But, to be honest, I can’t tell much difference… It might be a little smoother, somewhat less harsh, but that could also be happening inside my head only. I don’t know. My afterburps even taste the same.
Can you tell the difference? Everybody says they can, but I’m skeptical. I took an informal break room poll last night at work, and one guy said it’s much sweeter than regular Dew, and someone else said it’s less sweet. I’m starting to suspect there might be a bit of bullshit at play here.
I have yet to find a single person who will admit they can’t taste the difference. And what’s the deal with that? I can’t be the only one, can I? Are people afraid they’ll be labeled as unrefined and unsophisticated, if they can’t, you know, recognize the subtle shadings and hues in a bottle of… Mountain Dew?
It reminds me of the pre-CD era, when record companies would release “audiophile” albums. These were pressed on 100% virgin vinyl, cost about $35, and usually came in a heavy plastic sleeve. Oh, they were nothing if not luxurious.
A friend would break out one of these things, often while wearing protective linen gloves, and place it gingerly on the turntable. It would always be some “important” work, like Dark Side of the Moon, or Aja by Steely Dan.
Then they’d hush everyone with a dramatic wave of the hand, place the needle on the album, and start acting like they were on the cusp of sexual climax. …And it ALWAYS sounded exactly like the $7.99 version I’d purchased at K-Mart.
I think people believe what they want to believe, a lot of the time, and don’t let pesky facts get in their way. Or maybe I’m just an uncultured clod? It’s gotta be one or the other.
Similar items from the same era: gold-tipped speaker cables (gimme a break), and Denon cassettes. The tapes were apparently made by Japanese nerds with Coke bottle glasses and pocket protectors, inside a Japanese laboratory in Japan somewhere — where they’re really cutting edge and advanced.
Sure, the things cost about twelve dollars each, and you have a seven year old chunk o’ turd Realistic tape deck. But none of that matters when you’re using the best tapes in the world. From Japan!
And I was hoping to cite some more current examples of this phenomenon — in addition to the Mountain Dew Throwback scandal. But I’m going to have to rely on you guys, instead. I’m all outta time.
In the comments section tell us about other stuff that’s supposedly so much better (usually with a corresponding outrageous price tag), but isn’t. In your opinion, anyway. I’m especially interested in items that people evangelize about, but you can’t really differentiate from the standard model.
I wrote that kinda clumsy, but I’m sure you know what I mean… Also, please tell me I’m not the only person on Earth who can’t tell the difference between standard Dew and the Throwback version? I’m feeling a little lonely here…
See you guys tomorrow. I need to go to work now, and cry softly into my keyboard until 1:30 am.
Have a great day, my friends.