A White-Knuckle Ride Home, and a Few ‘Awful Super Groups’

When I arrived at work on Sunday the place was a-buzz with snow-talk.  I knew nothing of this, and Toney is usually all over such things.  Some of the more dramatic people were claiming that a foot of the stuff would be on the ground by morning.  But snow predictions are like politics, it’s best to ignore the crazies on both ends of the spectrum.

I checked it out on my phone, and it appeared that some snow was indeed on its way, but only about three inches.  The timing wasn’t good, though.  Accuweather said it would be coming down “heavily” after midnight, and that’s when I would be driving home.  But I could deal with three inches, I told myself.  Nothing to be concerned about…

However, as the evening progressed, the prediction of accumulation changed multiple times.  It went from three inches, to four-to-six, to six-to-eight, and finally… eight-to-ten.  What the hell, man??  And my gas light had come on in my car, as I was pulling into the parking lot earlier in the day.  It might be an interesting ride home.

And it was.  When I left work, there was already four or five inches of snow on the ground, and NONE of the roads had been touched by a plow.  It was just pure, undiluted snow for the entire ride.  And it was coming down like a freakin’ Christmas special out there.

I slipped and slided my way to an exit off I-81, where there was a Sheetz gas station.  The exit is a long swooping ordeal, and it appeared that not another vehicle had yet negotiated it.  There was a pronounced rectal-cinching.

But I kept my car on the road, and eventually came to a red light.  Funk dat.  I went straight through it, without even a hint of slow-down.  And when I arrived at the next red light, I did the same thing.  While driving in a snowstorm, it’s important to maintain a sensible and consistent speed.  And I was the only idiot out there, anyway.

Incredibly, there was a bunch of derelicts hanging out at Sheetz.  There’s a general seediness to that part of town, but during the storm of the century??  There was a questionable character by the front door with a long scar down his neck, and a green Army jacket.  He was smoking (needless to say), and just stared at me as I walked past.  Not a fan of the staring…

I gave the unfriendly shitsack cashier thirty bucks cash, and put a few gallons of gas into my tank.  As I was completing the task (it didn’t take long, at $3.25 per gallon), several hunk o’ junk vehicles arrived, carrying dodgy characters with poor grooming habits, and raspy-voiced women with high heels and a beer gut.

I made it out of there without being stabbed, and returned to Interstate 81.  And mister… it was not fun.  It was just totally snow-covered, and nothing had been done to the road, whatsoever.  It was still pouring, and cars and trucks were sliding all over the place.  I saw a few that were completely off the highway, and I watched a guy in a pick-up truck do a full 360-degree rooster-tailing circle — on 81!  Actually, it was more like a 390-degree circle, and he ended up near (or against) the guard rail.

Going across Montage Mountain sucked, and every muscle in my body was in a state of perma-flex.  I didn’t think I would crash, but I knew there was a very good chance of me getting stuck somewhere.  I’m not inexperienced when it comes to driving in snow, and was having trouble keeping it under control.

But I made it to my exit, and went sideways up the hill toward our house.  That was the most touch-and-go part of the whole journey.  I barely made it, but I finally landed in our driveway.  As I turned off the engine, I realized I was completely stressed.  It had taken more  than 90 minutes to travel 36 miles (with one gas station detour).

I went inside, grabbed a Yuengling, and let Andy (Black Lips Houlihan) frolic in the snow, and create a steaming brown spot in the white, etc.  There must have been near a foot of accumulation at that point.  It was insane.  And just two or three days earlier, it was 75 degrees out there.

Yeah, it was the worst or second-worst ride home from work so far.  But I made it, without needing fresh underwear and ointment, like Nostrils during a Southern rainstorm.  I want the record to reflect that, thank you very much.

And I’ll leave you now with some Twitter ridiculousness.  A couple of days ago someone started something called #awfulsupergroups, where you’re supposed to post absurd musician combos, like Boyz II Men at Work.  You know, that kind of thing.

My favorite?  Phish Styx.  Yeah, I wish I would’ve thought of that one…  That’s fantastic.

I got fully obsessed with it for several hours, and posted a bunch of stuff there. Here are my contributions, in case you care:

The Peter, Paul, and Mary Chain
REM Speedwagon
The Talking Lemonheads
Three Dog Night Ranger
Can Halen
My Chemical Hole
The Butthole Stripes
The Fall & Oates
Cannibal Corpse & Dawn
B.B. Top
A Flock of Cee-Lo
Men Without Dickies
Husker Who
Iggy & the Pips

And that’s gonna be your Question of the Day, folks.  Can you come up with additional “awful super groups?”  Please use the comments link below.

And I’ll see you again tomorrow.

Have yourselves a great day!

Now playing in the bunker
Follow the Surf Report at Twitter!

101 Responses to “A White-Knuckle Ride Home, and a Few ‘Awful Super Groups’”

  1. Awesome, I’m first. Going to bed now.

    [Reply]

  2. MetallicABBA. The Kinkstains.

    [Reply]

  3. The Buffalo Wings?

    [Reply]

  4. Def Dan or steely lepard.

    [Reply]

  5. The GoGorillaz

    [Reply]

  6. I love snow driving. Late night highway snow that has not be touched by another car is a joy among joys. But, I know everyone doesn’t feel the same way. Glad you made it home safe anyway.

    Sheetz can be one extreme or the other. In some neighborhoods it’s a collection point for the under-achieving. But I really like their food.

    [Reply]

  7. Green Days of the New

    [Reply]

  8. Peter Dropkick Murphys

    [Reply]

  9. Canned Tuna

    [Reply]

  10. The Allman Brothers Gibb

    [Reply]

  11. Concrete Blondie

    [Reply]

  12. Atlanta Rhythm Method

    [Reply]

  13. Fatboy Slim Whitman

    [Reply]

  14. Harvey Danger Mouse

    [Reply]

  15. Reel Big Fishbone

    [Reply]

  16. Sly and the Family Stone Temple Pilots

    [Reply]

  17. Southern Culture on the Skid Row

    [Reply]

  18. I could do this all day. But I gotta drive back to work

    [Reply]

  19. We were forecasted to get rain. Instead we got 8″ snow. And PennDOT dropped the ball, as per usual.

    I got nothing on the band names. Maybe when the headache clears.

    [Reply]

  20. Marianne Faith No More

    [Reply]

  21. In Belpre they only salt and cinder the intersections. So when you go around a corner you think it’s gonna be ok then you hit the untreated section. It can be a sphincter tightener.

    [Reply]

  22. Here are mine from yesterday. Phish Styx is my new favorite though:

    AC/ZZ
    The AeroSmiths
    Garth, Brooks, n’ Dunn
    The Alan Jackson Five
    The Alan Jackson Project
    Styx n’ Stones

    [Reply]

    Dave Reply:

    ROFLMAO!!! The Alan Jackson Project!!! Awesome!!

    [Reply]

  23. Jeff kind of car are you driving that sucks so much in the snow??….an ’84 Camaro with bald, fat tires? I thought you drove some form of 4 x 4 SUV like a Blazer?….a vehicle that was okay i snow?

    [Reply]

    Alex Reply:

    He drives a Toyoyo Camry now.

    [Reply]

  24. The Rolling Stone Temple Pilots
    Sugar Ray Vaughn
    Backstreet Boyz to Men
    Talking Radioheads

    [Reply]

  25. What kind of car….. I meant to say

    [Reply]

  26. Rage against the Machinehead
    Beastie Backstreet Boys
    The Mighty Mighty Deftones
    Widespread Panic at the Disco
    Counting Black Crows
    Dexy’s Midnight Doobie Brothers

    [Reply]

  27. Corn Hole

    [Reply]

  28. Olivia Newton-John Bon Jovi
    Wu Tang Wham!
    Blink 182 Seconds to Mars
    Buck Cherry Poppin Daddies
    Limp Disco Biscuits
    The Grateful Megadeth
    Savage Soundgarden
    Steely Dan Fogelberg
    Third Eye Blind Melon

    [Reply]

  29. Wayne Newton-John

    Judas Presley

    The Jackson 5 Blind Boys from Alabama

    [Reply]

  30. Bing Crosby, Stills & Nash

    [Reply]

  31. The snow in Pittsburgh came right at rush hour. Perfect timing. Live in Pittsburgh?? Then you should know how to drive in the snow. Not the case. I think as soon as it started snowing, everyone with rear wheel drive decended on the poor people…like myself…just wanting to get the fuck home from work. It was insane. The 2″ – 4″ inches as forcasted ended up being 8+ inches. My little dogs don’t even want to go outside. I guess if I had to stick my whoo-ha in over a half a foot of snow to take a pee I wouldn’t be too excited about it either.

    [Reply]

    Gretchen Reply:

    When did you hear the 2″-4″? Because on Sunday night WPXI was saying it would be rain only.

    [Reply]

    bikerchick Reply:

    Saw it on one of the stations weather maps. Rain/snow/whatever….they’re never right anyway.

    [Reply]

    Gretchen Reply:

    This was almost as bad as when they said we’d get 2″-4″ of snow for Snowpocalypse. Wrong, ding-dong!

    [Reply]

  32. Blood, Sweat and Tears for Fears
    The Byrds and the Bee Gees
    Derek and the Fats Domino
    Kool and Bloodhoung Gang
    The Grass Rusted Roots
    Hootie and the BlowPhish

    This is fun, but I’m running out of ideas…my mind has gone blank…

    [Reply]

  33. Zak Brownie Mary
    Poison Nine Inch Nails
    Queen Lady Gaga
    Prince Aerosmith

    [Reply]

  34. Rare Earth Wind and Fire

    [Reply]

  35. Sly and the Rolling Stones

    [Reply]

  36. Fog Without Hats
    Traffic Police
    Sly & The Partridge Family Stone
    Nice Inch Buzzcocks

    [Reply]

    Bill in WV Reply:

    The Rolling Doobie Brothers

    [Reply]

    Bill in WV Reply:

    The Brothers Nine Inch Johnson

    [Reply]

  37. The Molly Hatchets

    [Reply]

  38. John Denver Airport (or not)
    Chaka Can’t
    The Rolling Stone’s Wheelchairs

    [Reply]

  39. The Four ZZ Tops

    [Reply]

  40. Here’s a TOTALLY obscure one…let’s see who remembers the reference:

    Pink Lady and Gaga

    [Reply]

    AngryWhiteGuy Reply:

    Dave, wasn’t there a TV show called Pink Lady and Jeff in the late 70s or early eighties? Two Japanese chicks and a doofus? Is that the reference? That was a really, really bad show.

    [Reply]

    Dave Reply:

    Bullseye!! Well done!

    [Reply]

  41. Emerson Lake and Robert Palmer
    The Electric Light Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark

    [Reply]

  42. Siouxsie and the Bangles
    Henry Rolling Stones
    Mazzy Starship
    Squirrel Nut Zepplins

    [Reply]

  43. Megadeth Cab For Cutie
    Greatful Dead Kennedys
    Jethro Airplane
    The Ramones E. M.
    Steely Dan Duran

    I don’t know. I’m not a big music guy.

    [Reply]

  44. Rob Thomas Dolby

    [Reply]

  45. George Michael Jackson Browne

    [Reply]

    Dave Reply:

    Correction:

    Boy George Michael Jackson Browne

    [Reply]

    chill Reply:

    Two thumbs up. Classic word association football!
    .

    [Reply]

  46. Ricky Nelson Riddle
    Bill Monroe and the Bluegrass Pet Shop Boys
    Johnny Cash McCall
    Motley Cutting Crew
    Tony Orlando and PM Dawn
    Southern Culture Club on the Skid Row
    Boston Kansas
    Confederate Grand Funk Railroad
    MC Hamilton, Joe Frank, and Reynolds
    Beatle Farmers
    Buddy Holly and the Sex Pistols

    [Reply]

  47. Seal and Croft

    Lionel Ritchie Havens

    [Reply]

  48. Good Afternoon Surf Reporters……

    Yeah, the snow ( in Pittsburgh area ) yesterday was a bit unexpected, but 24 hours later, a lot of it is already melting away. Prolly gone by the weekend.

    A couple of my ideas have already been posted
    ~Steely Dan Fogelberg
    ~Grateful Dead Kennedys

    How about…

    Cream Korn
    Hannah Santana
    The Police Cars

    [Reply]

    Dave Reply:

    Cream Korn!! Right up there with Phish Styx…awesome.

    [Reply]

  49. Peter, Paul and the Raiders
    Argent Tina Turner
    The Thompson Twin Lizzy
    REO ABBA
    Pete Seeger and the Silver Bullet Band

    [Reply]

  50. The The Smiths
    Doug E. Fresh Mode
    Megadeath Cab for Cutie
    Donnie Primus
    Simply Red Hot Chili Peppers

    [Reply]

  51. Dead Can Dance Hall Crashers
    Big Black Sabbath
    Minutemen at Work
    Ugly Kid Joe Jackson
    Biz Markie Mark and the Funky Bunch
    The Bouncing Souls of Mischief
    Cheap Trick Daddy
    Superdrag the River
    Rare Earth Crisis
    Nitty Gritty Dirt Band of Horses
    Goodbye Harry Belafonte
    Rollins Band of Gypsys
    High on Firehouse
    Son House of Pain
    B.B. King Diamond
    Manfred Manowar
    Neil Young MC
    General Public Enemy
    Sonic Youth Brigade
    The Mr. Mister T Experience
    System of a Down By Law
    My Dying Trailer Bride
    Twisted Sister Sledge
    Great White Zombie
    2 Live Cutting Crew

    [Reply]

  52. Ratt Poison

    [Reply]

  53. Bad Finger Company
    The Greatful Dead Kennedys
    The Moody Blues Cure
    Velvet Guns N Roses
    Mother Love Bone Strokes
    Romantics Kiss
    Elvis Costley
    Styx and Stones
    Third Eye Blind Melon
    Cheap Trick No Doubt
    Jane’s Steely Dan Addiction

    [Reply]

  54. Is is just me or has the Bunker Cam been awfully “penissy” lately?

    [Reply]

  55. Two Cows Garage

    Herman…or AstroHerman?

    Charlies Aunt Tupelo

    Billy Bragg and the Beaters

    INXSphixiation

    Duran Durante

    Toaster Children

    The Flaming Pixies

    Guided by Kay’s Choices

    Confedrate Railroad @ Union Station

    Damn Yankees

    [Reply]

    AngryWhiteGuy Reply:

    INXSphixiation!!!!! Brilliant, T-Storm!

    [Reply]

  56. Mike and the Mechanics Tool

    Third Eye Blind Faith

    Counting Crows Little Feet

    [Reply]

  57. Doris Day & The Time
    Jimmie Hendrix’s Chicken Shack
    The Jackson 5 Finger Megadeath Punch (That’s a 3-fer!)
    Method Man of Mayhem
    A Perfect Circle Jerk
    Little Richard Cheese
    The Tom Tommy Lee Culture Club (another 3-fer)
    Meatloaf Beat Manifesto
    Amy April Winehouse
    The DefTony!Toni!Tone’s!

    [Reply]

  58. Sunday you say? Hmmm, I got sun burnt while watching the first of the Mardi Gras parades!!

    [Reply]

  59. The Black Eyed Peter, Paul & Mary
    Twisted Sister Souljah
    Frankie Goes to Alabama
    Pat Boone Thugs ‘N’ Harmony
    Ace of Count Basey
    Kiss the Beatles
    Blue Oyster Culture Club
    Emerson, Lake & Paula Abdul
    Criss Crossfade
    MC Hammers of Misfortune
    Billy Ray Cyprus Hill
    The Black Sheryl Crowes
    Loretta Lynyrd Skynyrd

    [Reply]

  60. Damn, you people are good!

    The Beach Boyz to Men
    Bob Segar and the Dylan Bullet Band
    Elvis Costello Presley
    Etta James Brown
    Morphine Blind Melon
    The Cars Clash
    Strawberry Alarm Clock Vanilla Ice
    Salt N Peppa Red Hot Chile Peppers

    Here in SW GA it has been warm. I woke up sweating this morning/afternoon. Snow just doesn’t compute for me anymore. I remember it, but I’ve been wearing shorts and flip flops.

    [Reply]

  61. These are all terrific.

    [Reply]

  62. Flick Meatwood and Meatwood Flack

    [Reply]

  63. Flogging Molly Hatchet

    [Reply]

  64. Jeff Kay C (throughs) and the Sunshine & Mumbles Band!

    [Reply]

  65. Check out the decent AWD sedans out there.
    Audi’s, BMW X-Drives, Subaru’s some of the VW’s, etc…
    Put decent winter tires, not all seasons! Then check out when your local Audi club is offering frozen lake driving clinic on a weekend.

    Never pucker for winter driving again, just weave your way through all the SUV’s on their roofs.

    [Reply]

    chill Reply:

    The other year I was shopping for a car; I wanted a four-door sedan with all wheel drive and a stick shift. There are damn few cars made that fit that description. Other than what Max mentioned, I think Volvo makes one. If you don’t mind driving an automatic, there are a few more choices.
    .

    [Reply]

    Limey Reply:

    My Subaru is a AWD stick shift, although technically it’s a five door. Tough, capable cars Subarus (this is my third). I have never got stuck in snow in mine. Sounds like you have similar vehicle requirements as me, I like AWD, don’t want an overweight monster, must be stick. Audis are too overpriced. Same for the Lexus IS AWD.

    [Reply]

    chill Reply:

    I ended up buying the Audi A4, whose price was surprisingly reasonable at $24k base. This was 11 years ago, so YMMV. Besides the extra traction on slippery surfaces, I found it handles far better than the FWD version of the same car (or VW Passat, same thing) even on dry roads. Of course you have no ground clearance so you’ll still get high-centered if you’re not careful, but then again you don’t have to put up with driving a truck for the other 360 days a year.
    .

    [Reply]

    t-storm Reply:

    I think them there Subarus are some smart looking cars.
    I currently have two toyota Echoes. One’s a stick, one’s not. I prefer the stick. During the recent white death in OKC I had no problem getting around while I watched all manner of rednecks in trucks and suv’s spin all over the place. OKC isn’t as hilly as PA or Cincy, but it has some hills.
    My next car (the two are a combined 20 yrs old with 400K miles) will be another Toyota or something like a subaru.
    I’d like a hybrid, but I don’t think I can justify the cost.
    And I like those Smart cars but I’d look way to faggy getting in and out of one. Nelson Muntz would laugh at me and I’d have to publicly kick his ass.

    [Reply]

    Kevindust Reply:

    There is no need for all wheel drive in a family sedan driven by a non car enthusiast. While it would have helped up the hill, it doesn’t help you stop or turn any better. (Hence the idiots in SUV’s on their roofs.) The 24/7/365 negatives (weight, cost and complexity) are not overcome by the 2 times a year that one needs the extra traction.

    You hit the nail on the head with decent winter tires though. I posted this the last time Jeff was shopping for tires but he went with all seasons (which are a compromise in all seasons and generally suck.) A fwd Camry with winter tires is better than an awd Subbie with all seasons. The proper tires can transform any car. I should know, I drive a 330hp rwd Mustang in Ottawa winters without issue.

    [Reply]

    Limey Reply:

    After once spending ~30 minutes fishtailing along I-5 in a Mustang in a monsoon, I now buy AWD for my main car. It’s not just for snow.

    [Reply]

  66. Zwan

    [Reply]

  67. These are all a little rap centric, but…

    Vanilla Ice Cube
    Digital Velvet Underground
    Ben Folds Five for Fighting
    The Whodini
    B.B. Kings of Leon
    Johnny Cash Money Millionaires
    The Highwaymen Without Hats

    [Reply]

  68. Radiohead East
    Son Seals and Crofts
    .

    [Reply]

  69. Sevendust Mary Three
    Slip (Knot Was)
    The Smash Mouth Pumpkins
    The Rolling Stones Sour
    The Pearl Jam
    Alice Cooper in Chains
    I Mother Earth, Wind and Arcade alexisonFirewind (that’s 5!)

    [Reply]

    Kevindust Reply:

    I Mother Earth, FireWind and Arcade alexisonFirehouse

    that’s 6

    [Reply]

  70. Kenny Maiden

    [Reply]

  71. Three Dog Night Ranger?

    I’m really LOLing at some of these..

    [Reply]

  72. Really loving these! Surf reporters, you did good!!!
    I can only think of a few…

    Edgar Winger
    Van Jovi
    Journey Buffett
    Steve Metallica Band
    Limp Queen

    [Reply]

  73. Eddie and the Hot Rods Stewart
    Beastie Boyz II Men (just to round out the trilogy)
    Elton John Fahey
    Dollar Brand X
    Gang of Four Freshmen
    Hound Dog Taylor Swift
    They might Be Gentle Giants
    .

    [Reply]

  74. Les Paul & Lita Ford
    Corinne Bailey Ray Cyrus
    Buckner & Jerry Garcia
    Grateful Dead Milkmen
    The 5th Dokken

    [Reply]

  75. Jewel Hendrix
    Aero Lavigne
    Who (Not Was)
    The Zeppelin Carpenters

    [Reply]

  76. Alice in Nirvana
    Rolling Cars
    StingBeatle – Wham!
    Steppen Hole

    [Reply]

  77. Bread Styx

    [Reply]

  78. Cake Hole

    [Reply]

  79. Molly Halen
    They Might Be Skynard

    this is rather fun

    [Reply]

  80. Hey grammar people I have a question.

    Is the comma necessary in the following sentence?

    During heavy maintenance check on the aircraft, it was noted that the number 2 engine thrust reverser was corroded.

    I’m thinking it’s not. It makes me feel like Stevie from Malcolm in the Middle is saying it.

    Any thoughts?

    [Reply]

  81. I’m going to say it’s optional: you don’t need it, but it’s not incorrect to include it.
    .

    [Reply]

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