A Weekend (I Think) With The Parents
My parents were up here for a quick visit this past weekend, before they try to cheat the seasons again, and chase warm weather all the way to the southern tip of Florida, or whatever.
Their visits aren’t too bad, especially compared to others we have (and will) endure. They try to be good guests, and it’s appreciated. Just an effort is usually enough. Ya know?
They offer to help us clean-up after meals, for instance. While Sunshine just walks away when she’s finished eating, with her dirty plate still sitting there, and without even bothering to shove her chair back under the table. Man, that really bakes my beans…
Nancy and Nostrils sometimes insist on helping us with the dishes, but always (always!) break something. And it’s usually a painful item, like a pub glass from London, or one of my favorite coffee mugs. They have a special talent for excruciating destruction.
Truthfully, I don’t really even want any help. I just want someone to offer, then get out of my way. That’s the best scenario, when it comes right down to it. An offer, even an insincere one, does the trick.
So, my folks’ stays at Jeff and Toney’s Bed and Breakfast Inn and Old Country Saloon usually feel like a slam-dunk, and this one was no different. I apologize in advance. I know it’s best when everything goes to hell. Sorry…
We took part in the normal “parents visiting” activities, including two restaurant meals, several semi-extravagant home-cooked meals, a Saturday swim meet featuring the grandkids, an inordinate amount of dog-walking, a visit to the mall, and lots of sitting around talking. And even though I had an extra day off from work, I feel like there was no weekend whatsoever.
You know, the usual.
On Friday we went to dinner at a neighborhood pizza/pasta joint, and it was very good indeed. And yesterday we went to lunch at Red Lobster, because my parents like to treat the Secrets to crab legs; they all get a kick out of the dismantling of crustaceans.
I only had a bowl of New England clam chowder and a salad, because I was still packed-out with breakfast biscuits. Shit man, there needs to be at least a minimum of digestion time between meals… Even a person of my size can’t just keep loading it in. Something’s gotta give, eventually.
After lunch I said I wanted to walk next door to the Verizon store, to take a look at the Droid phone. And all six of us dragged in there. The place isn’t very big, and we instantly made it crowded.
I checked out the phone, and it seemed great. I brought up the Surf Report, and it was a thing of beauty on that big screen. When I look at it on my current phone it’s a mess, but the Droid is like a tiny computer in your pocket. I’ve gotta have one. The only downside? Twenty-nine extra bucks per month, for internet and all the fancy stuff. That might be a tough sell. Very tough, in fact.
Then we went to Wegman’s to look for some kind of Kraft cheese, called Roka Blue. Apparently it’s used in a “cheeseball” recipe, and is difficult to find. I don’t know… I barely listen to that kind of thing.
While Toney and my Mom looked for the elusive so-called cheese I checked out the beer section, and ended up buying a six-pack of Breckenridge Avalanche Ale, out of Colorado. Unfortunately, it wasn’t all that spectacular, which is always a bummer. Life is too short for less than spectacular beer. I should’ve just gone with the Stone IPA, which is fantastic, and which I had in my hand at one point. Oh well.
After Wegman’s we went to the mall, and I snapped this photo of a man sitting outside Old Navy. I thought about buying a bag of Skittles and having a contest with the boys, to see how many we could toss inside the guy’s mouth.
On Saturday, after the never-ending swim meet finally ended, Toney and I went to the beer snob tavern at Cooper’s, where I had two pints of Fuller’s Mr. Harry Bitter. Yum. Now THERE’S a beer.
We also had their crab dip and nacho chips. God, how I love the beer snob tavern… I feel at home there, for some reason.
And yesterday my Dad and I (my Dad) replaced the light hanging over our dining room table. Toney hated the one that was there before, and wanted me to replace it. “I’d better wait until I have some help,” I kept saying. And she reminded me that I’d have some help this weekend. Yeah, she never forgets anything.
And sure, it looks great. But now the one inside our front door seems kinda dated in comparison — according to Toney. See how these things work? It’s no good, no good at all. I’ll be on a ladder, screaming profanity three feet off the ground, within days.
But the weekend was good, overall. My parents left this morning, and there were no arguments or teeth-grinding or door-slamming, or anything of the sort. Again, I apologize.
I have to go to work in a little while, but it doesn’t feel like a work day. I’m all disoriented, and discombobulated. And this week is going to be weird, too. We’re going to Toney’s cousin’s house for Thanksgiving, in a well-to-do suburb of Philadelphia. Very pinkies-out fancy…
And am I looking forward to it? No, not really. My face is already aching, in anticipation of the fake perma-smile I’ll have to maintain the whole time.
The food will probably be good, though. And Toney’s cousin’s family are nice, and decidedly non-Nancy or Sunshine-like. So, it’ll be fine, once we’re there.
What are you going to do for the holiday? Are you traveling, or having visitors, or none of the above? Are you serving anything unusual this year, or is it always the same? Tell us about it in the comments, won’t you?
And I’ll try to get my bearings back, and will see you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great day.
Filed under: Daily
First— and with a Hee Haw picture to boot.
[Reply]
2222222222222222222222222222
[Reply]
We’ll be sitting right here, roasting the world’s smallest turkey breast. I feel good about it, but at the same time, I know that my account in the big bank of visiting family is getting mighty low indeed. I see road miles in my not too distant future.
[Reply]
Getting together for a quick dinner, then getting out of town (just the wife and I) for the weekend.
[Reply]
Gordie, Junior, Grandpa Jones and Lulu- why does that shit stick in my brain? Going to mother in laws for T-Day. She’s having about 20 people over. Have little weasel teeth on the bottom for now and won’t feel like explaining it (why I need to grind up food), so I will prolly eat in the car or something.
On IPOD right now- “someday”- Concrete Blonde
[Reply]
My Thanksgiving will be a test of my patience. I don’t even want to think about it.
Jeff – what is the name/location of the beer snob bar? I will be hitting Scranton the first weekend of Dec. and want to check it out.
[Reply]
hiya
[Reply]
By the way, whatever happened to the icon under “further evidence”?
[Reply]
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…..
We might not have Thanksgiving via normal means this year at all. The oven at home decided to shit the bed.
It’s either going to be an easy fix(thermostat, igniter) or the whole thing is shot, I’m hoping for the easy fix. I certainly can’t swing $400-$500 for a new stove.
If all goes well, it’ll be a small affair as usual. Wife, son and me.
and I wonder why depression always seems to pop in around this time of year. It’s sad really, but I just don’t give a fuck anymore.
[Reply]
#10???
[Reply]
Heading to my sisters, 4 miles away should be about twenty of us. Standard fare excpet my brother in law deep fries the turkey, so there is always the chance for a giant fireball and 3rd degree burns. I’m in charge of of the wine and deviled eggs so all week I’ll be drinking wine trying to find the perfect one to bring even though I already know which Reisling and Merlot I’ll be packing along. I just wish someone in the family could figure out how to make a decent batch of stuffing/dressing.
[Reply]
did you know that Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday of October in Canada? it’s like a whole other colder alter universe up there.
jeff, you should really start pandering to your internationial readers. whos up for a Eid-Ul-Azha celebration on the 29th? ehh? ehhh? haha
[Reply]
Driving to St. Louis. Just me and the dog. Wally has to work. Wednesday dinner with my Mom’s family. Thursday dinner with my Dad’s family. Home Friday. 6 glorious days, in a row, off work. Fat pants, the new furniture, and lots of bottled holiday cheer.
Christmas shopping online, from the comfort of my recliner. In my fat pants. And no bra.
[Reply]
JCIII – no kidding. I think it’s all the sudden demands made on your time from people you wold never even bother with the rest of the year. Suddenly, for 2 months, your life is no longer your own. Ugh.
[Reply]
We did Thanksgiving last month. It was actually peaceful this year despite having the usual two dinners (one we host, the other is at my father-in-law’s). I have a tradition going back almost 20 years where I make my mother-in-law cry, but this year it just didn’t happen….sad really. I’ll have to double my efforts at Christmas.
[Reply]
Family are coming here to the well-to-do suburb of Philadelphia where we live. Some are fat white trash who will guzzle expensive wines and scoff gourmet foods like it was a McDonald’s buffet. No pinkies will be raised however.
[Reply]
Goin to dinner at my only grandparent that I have left’s house. The cousins and I will all be cooking so it should be ok as long as I remember to not kill anyone. My little person turns 11 on Thanksgiving day. That is one bright spot.
[Reply]
Jeff-
Breckenridge makes a GREAT IPA called Small Batch 471….hoppy as hell and ~9% ABV…available in 6-pack and big bottles….simply outstanding. Having the fam over and some folks from work….recent immigrants from Vancouver, where they celebrate Thanksgiving in October (?). Doing a deep-fried turkey and a smoked turkey breast with a couple of extra drumsticks. There’s Maker’s Mark in my future.
[Reply]
Enjoying a pint of Fullers ESB as I read this! As a Brit/Canadian who proudly works for a U.S.Company I feel morally obligated to celebrate both thanksgivings! This will be my first Black Friday in Manhattan just what I need a hangover scrimmage with the multitude!!
[Reply]
We will be hosting as usual. My folks are already in Fla for the winter so that only requires a phone call. My in-laws are separated but still both coming to dinner. It will be strange but better than having to run all over the place. I’m going to buy the bird after work today as a matter of fact…
[Reply]
Jeff, Dell has the droid for $119, no rebate needed.
[Reply]
I will drive down to Moab on Thanksgiving morning with the wife, son, and dog; we’ll probably go on a hike when we get there. Then we’ll have thanksgiving dinner with some friends there, who also have kids my son’s age. Hopefully that’ll be mellow. We will be in Moab until Sunday, enjoying the outdoors and what-not. Haven’t taken four whole days off in awhile.
I need to see if I can get a good script for some
‘antibiotics’ before my mother visits for christmas.
[Reply]
Huh, today is Monday and Thanksgiving is Thursday. Guess it would be a good time to commit to a plan. I guess I had better get on that.
[Reply]
We went to Verizon over the weekend as well to look at the Droid. The sales woman immediately implied that we might be to old to comprehend this amazing device, and offered to show us a lesser phone that might serve our needs better. I almost dropped to my knees to proclaim “We’re not worthy”. Needless to say there will be an Iphone in my future. Verizon can take their snooty attitudes for a long sail down shitcreek.
[Reply]
Since I am recovering from the Pig-Flu I will not be conducting my gourmet Thanksgiving this year. Instead, I’m letting my boyfriend’s 80 year old grandma do that and I’m just bringing something along. I feel guilty but she really wanted to do it this year anyhoo, so who the hell am I to bitch?
I hate, hate, hate green bean casserole but guess what I’m bringing this year. That’s right. Only I went ahead and volunteered this dish because I would like to place my own spin on things. It’s gonna be oozing in sharp cheddar cheese with melted gruyere & a buttermilk sauce throughout. I’m going to have roasted peppers blended with the beans, so hopefully I will find that my variation is one I can stomach, vs. the age old dish that makes me gag just picturing it.
And I’m glad I’m done with Swine Flu just in time to have an excuse to drink a lot of wine & perhaps a few mixed drinks, once my father in law comes in. God, I love that guy.
Now Playing on iPhone: ‘Salute Your Solution’ by The Raconteurs
[Reply]
Jeff, give my best wishes to Toney’s Aunt Marlene. I trust you’ll be bringing along a cake baked in the crystal bundt pan that was Aunt Marlene’s wedding gift.
[Reply]
Since Mr. Llama and I have no children, we usually have to alternate the Thanksgiving meal between my family and his because our place is just too small to have everyone over. This year, since we lost track of whose turn it really is, we decided to spend a few days in New York instead. On Wednesday night, we’re going to the Pixies “Doolittle” show at 1am. We plan to watch the Macy’s Parade on Thursday, before enjoying to a faux turkey vegetarian meal at a place in the East Village.
[Reply]
Jeff-if you don’t like dark beers, forget it, but Breckenridge Brewery’s Oatmeal Stout has a special place in my heart (and gut). The Ale’s, not so much. Going to CO and will try not to commit MILicide. Should be fun though, have some great SIL’s who love to party-Tipsy’s Liquor Emporium, here we come….shiny…
[Reply]
Jeff and others…scrutinize the Droid HARD before purchasing if you’re like me and a full keyboard is a must-have (my fingers are too fat for iPhone and the like’s touch screen keying). The Droid’s keyboard is really flat so it’s almost as easy to mis-key on it as it is on a touchscreen. Most other keyboard phones have keys with distinct separation between keys…this MATTERS.
Otherwise, though, the Droid looks frickin’ awesome…I’ll be getting one (or one just like it) when they solve the keyboard.
[Reply]
Wife is working, me and the daughter are going out early to try and murder a deer in the morning hours. Then it’s off to my folks house for the big feed.
Then Friday and Saturday it’s more deer killin’…good times!!
[Reply]
UGH…the holidays… I usually love to cook for the holidays. The whole spread…turkey basted in heart stopping butter stuffed with sausage dressing. Onion casserole with white cheddar cheese and potato chips baked right in. Sweet potato w/peaches and cashews in brown sugar & butta…YUM! It’s killer. But I won’t be making it this year as we have to go to my boyfriends parents.
It’s not a bad thing really, but they have a million foster kids who never really sit down like human beings to eat. Run in and out of the front door during dinner, on their cell phones like a drug deal going down. Inconsiderate, rude & irritating. No doubt one of them will start a fight with the other. Pass the beer nuts.
[Reply]
Bev just now took off (not in a plane) to go visit her Mom for ten days. I’m home alone and loving it while she’s driving into hell as I type this. No need to pass the beer nuts…they’re sittin’ right here.
[Reply]
omg, bikerchick! sounds like I might be trying your “Sweet potato w/peaches and cashews in brown sugar & butta” recipe. mmmmm
[Reply]
What’s the fuss with this Droid thing? Does it have a 24″ screen, a full size keyboard and 25Mb/s download? Or is it another one of those fiddly, annoying, slow little toys like my HTC Mogul that is so awful to surf with I just tether it to my laptop as a modem?
[Reply]
Jeff –
Why don’t you just let me tidy up around here for you while you sit with a nice cold beverage?
[Reply]
Melissa, couldn’t help but notice your disdain for green bean casserole. Ever heard Scott Sloan on WLW? A day or two before Thanksgiving he’ll do his annual green bean casserole “jihad” show. Basically rants for a hour or so on how stupid GBC is. It just plain effin funny. I checked his web site hoping he might have one of the older shows available for podcast but no luck. If I remember I will post when this years rant will be on.
Skully, kill em all!! I swear to God I’ll be wearing one of those sum bitches when it comes flying through my windshield. Death by deer not my kinda fun.
[Reply]
My phone makes phone calls. And takes crappy pictures, which is why I got a camera. Call me ole fashioned… It even has an authentic-sounding ring like the 20 lb kitchen phones of olde (the kind you can use to bludgeon a burglar).
We had Tiny House Thanksgiving yesterday, since we’ll be driving to Michigan to see my family for the Big Feed (thanks for that Skully).
And we’re bringing Green Bean Casserole – southern style. Loaded with mozzarella, tomatoes, and other non-traditional stuff. Even GBC haters like it.
[Reply]
My soon to be ex-wife will be taking the boys to IA City and DM to see the wonderful new guy. Mom and I will be having a smoked turkey breast with mashed ptotoes, stuffing, green beans and gravy. I bought one of those personal sized Betty Crocker desserts so there will be no pie. At least I won’t havta be treated like a weirdo for wanting to watch football on Thanksgiving like I always do at the in-laws.
[Reply]
Screw waterboarding if they had used green bean casserole at GITMO everyone would have confessed!!!
[Reply]
“In the name of Allah, why this Mother of All Horrors, why not saute in garlic and olive oil for four minutes, not the Great Satan’s putrid green soup? I talk, I talk… it was Ahmed”.
[Reply]
Going down to my mom’s in San Jose Wednesday so my mom, my sister and I can make a ridiculous amount of pies. Usually hovers around 5 apple, 3 pumpkin and a chocolate torte that is demanded of me every year. We usually start drinking after the dough is made and my sister and I start bagging on my mom. Good times.
Then it’s down to Morgan Hill (south of San Jose) Thursday morning for some turkey and home made raviolis! OMG I’m wearing an elastic waistband for that one! We’ve been going down there for Thanksgiving since my dad was a little tot, and my aunt (from Turin) always made a metric shitload of ravs. One year, around the table, they were chatting about food and I mentioned that I had never eaten brains. Well, they thought that was the funniest thing ever – what do you think are in the raviolis??? I always thought it was ricotta cheese. Well, I didn’t eat my beloved raviolis for years, until brains became to expensive (!) to put them in there. Thank you, inflation!
Happy Monday, Surfers!
[Reply]
I just realized I’ve probably told you guys that story every Thanksgiving for the last 5 years. Sorry.
[Reply]
Already had Thanksgiving up here. No family in town (I love my family – from a distance). Usually don’t do anything but this year went to a friends for some chow. Flying to spend Christmas with the kinfolk. I will probably eat only stuffing and gravy. I try to eat good the rest of the year so this is my time to indulge. Looking forward to some parties with my friends also, I usually only visit my hometown once a year.
Used to hate doing Christmas things with the Outlaws, it was such a regime – buy that was along time ago now.
The kitty pic on the bunker cam is so cute!
[Reply]
Metric shitload. I’m keeping that one! Excellent.
[Reply]
I will be going to one grandmother’s house at noon Thursday. My grandma is a fantastic cook and I could easily stuff myself into oblivion. Unfortunately there will be about 40 people there but only food enough for 20. A bunch of big strapping farmers that plow through food before I’ve even had my first bite of her made from scratch noodles. This is not a family that believes in leftovers. I’m REALLY looking forward to my uncle’s new batch of racist jokes. Goddam I hate that fucker!!
Then at 2pm I’ll head to my other grandma’s. Food enough for 40 and there should be about 8 of us. Here I will learn of the latest gossip about why half my family isn’t speaking. Good times…and glad I stay the hell out of the drama…but the gossip is entertaining.
WB in OH – You reminded me of this….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_habakm5sw&feature=player_embedded#
[Reply]
Haven’t read any of the comments yet, so if someone said this, I am all dittos and shit:
Twenty-nine extra bucks per month
should not be a make-or-break-decision
Android, Jeff… make me proud so I can live vicariously
Here is a great post on buying a droid
..even though you wanted to but really wasn’t ready to.
http://dotlizard.com/posts/2009/11/and-then-all-of-a-sudden-i-bought-a-droid/
[Reply]
Oh! I also wanted to tell you about
http://www.stamps.com
This is NOT an ad.
Did you know you can schedule a pick up?
Yes, They will come to you.
(Tshirt sales– future of course)
Please look into this site to make
your bulk mailing easier.
[Reply]
Alice: The sweet potato casserole is so easy! Here it is:
Fresh sweet potatoes peeled, cooked, cut into chunks.
1-2 cans canned peaches, quartered, drained.
1/2 C cashews, broken into pieces.
1 C packed dark brown sugar
A sprinkle of nutmeg & cinnamon
1 stick butter
Boil sweet potatoes until just tender. Drain, peel, cut into chunks. (Sometimes I have used the canned taters in a pinch or out of laziness!…taste’s just as good).
Arrange potatoes in casserole. Drain peaches and place in between potatoes. Mix together brown sugar, cashews, nutmeg, cinnamon. Sprinkle mixture over entire casserole. Dot with butter. Place in oven at 350 degrees for 20 – 30 minutes until bubbly.
Enjoy!!
Happy Turkey Day everyone. It’s fun to read what the “extended Surf family” is doing. Anyone shopping black Friday? Stepping on your grandmother to get to the $100 flat screen? Mowing down a small child for that sale on decorative gift wrap?
[Reply]
I printed out your recipe, bikerchick, and stuffed it in my purse. We still have to make the big grocery store run for our Big Feed. ugh. hope there is still a good turkey left.
No Black Friday shopping for me unless it’s online.
Knucklehead, new readers need to read about your brains/raviolis story! Some stories bear repeating.
[Reply]
Oh six fifteen on the coast; been raining for many days. I stayed up all night on my back porch to commune with the deluge. (Aprés moi, c’était un deluge!)
Even after nearly six decades in the Pacific Northwest, when one of these persistent drizzles enters its second week with no sign of relief from the Weather Underground or God Himself, I am transported to “Lathe of Heaven” territory, a leguinesque world in which the precipitation becomes the infrastructure and the buildings, vehicles and streets the transitory, illusory background.
It serves as a reminder that the rain will outlast us and when we are out of oil, coal, and potable water, will supply our last drink. Damn you, Ursula for haunting my dark early mornings with the ideas that are scariest: the truth.
I wish a warm and happy Thanksgiving to my fellow surfers. Watch out for those puddles and drive carefully.
jtb
[Reply]
And for cripin’ out loud, during your Thanksgiving dinner, hoist one or three in memory of Louis Marshall “Grandpa” Jones, gone these eleven years, but apparently still able to post to this forum if my textual analysis abilities haven’t faded.
jtb
[Reply]
Driving five hours Wednesday night through rain and stupid drivers to get to the inlaws. Will try cooking everything the next day with about a million people and a few housepets milling about the kitchen, creating chaos. Will bite tongue while listening to looney tunes right wing bullshit, centered mainly around the idea that the apocalypse is coming because we have a black president. Will drive home Friday through snow and hungover stupid drivers. Rinse and repeat next year.
[Reply]
Well, at least we can all comfort ourselves in the knowledge that we don’t have Charlie Manson as our biological dad. Although if I had too choose between the two; I would choose Charlie to be my dad over Glenn Beck.
[Reply]
@ Gretchen
You just listed all of the reasons why I’m not going to visit my own in-laws this year. Good luck…
[Reply]
Veering off the topic(s) completely- Does anyone know why or WHEN Campbells Chicken Noodle ( regular, not Chicken Noodle Extreme, or Chicken Noodle Mega) stopped putting the little chunks of carrot and celery in their cans? It’s been so long since I have eaten it, and I am highly distraught over it.
On IPOD right now- “On Any Other Day”- The Police
[Reply]
Thanks, Retrollama. I’ll hoist a non-alcoholic beverage in your honor (I can’t drink this year; somebody hold me!).
[Reply]
Better than looney tunes liberal bullshit.
[Reply]
@jtb – Saaaaalute
[Reply]
Touche, Son of Sam. For the record, Going to the extreme left or right = looney tunes period, in my book. If I had to sit in a room with a bunch of Nancys I’d also be contemplating shooting my face off.
Just to be clear about what I’m talking about here, there’s a marked difference between saying “President Obama is taking this country to hell in a handbasket!” versus “That n***** president will bring about the end of days!” Only one holds the possibility of meaningful discussion.
[Reply]
Still not sure where the hell I’m going for Thanksgiving. I’ve ruled out family get-togethers; I’m playing in Erie, PA the night before and probably end up staying up all night drinking, etc. after the show. By the time I get back to PGH the next day I should be in rare form so I won’t subject the family to that. I’m pretty sure there’s a party that I’m going to that night though. Maybe there will be a leftover turkey wing there or something.
I’ll hoist a few beers for yinz guys. Enjoy the extended weekend (if you get one).
[Reply]
I’ve never heard of green bean casserole. Please do not ever bring it up again. What a waste of cheese.
Our Thanksgiving was 6 weeks ago. How does the “same” holiday land so far apart? Did the Americans change the date so that it would be closer to the football playoffs? Is it just too cold in Canada in November to give thanks?
I prefer our October date, keeps Thanksgiving separated nicely from Christmas.
[Reply]
Kevin, did a little wiki research. It would appear that the date Thanksgiving is held in both countries has been kicked around for a long time. The U. S. did not finalize the last Thursday in November until Lincoln did so during the civil war in an effort (I assume) to polarize the country.
Canada picked Armistice Day (Remembrance Day) as it’s anchor point only to seperate them 10 years later.
Down here we still have crops coming off so I imagine that may have something to do with ours being celebrated later.
[Reply]