I got a rather severe haircut last night. The word “severe” wasn’t in my request, but the woman certainly improvised it. I asked for the standard: clippers, four and two guards. Somewhere, during my travels, I picked up that bit of insider lingo, and it insures (generally speaking) a haircut the way I like it.
My “stylist” was dressed like she was ready for an evening at the Tropicana Club, or whatever. She was wearing an expensive-looking dress, with a flamboyant, sparkly shawl around her neck. Her hair was piled high, impeccably so, and she kinda glided through the room.
Holy shit, I thought, is this Liza Minnelli?
And, man, she was rough. Her clippers had obviously been used and abused, and almost cut me open like a trout. You know those people you see wandering around Wal-Mart, with one really tall tooth on the bottom? Well, that’s how those clippers felt. One of the prongs was hyper-extended, and I worried I’d be leaving there a bloody mess.
Near the end of the procedure she was slapping the thing against my neck, like she was keeping beat to an AC/DC song. I was wincing in pain as the “tall tooth” dug into my flesh. WTF? Is this some kind of Sweeney Todd situation??
When she (finally!) finished, she spun me around in the chair so I could see myself in the mirror, and I think I actually gasped. Where there had once been a pile of Bobby Brady hair, was now just a shadow. It’s not really hair, so much as a suggestion of hair. Know what I mean?
I gave the woman a four dollar tip, down from my standard five, because I thought I was going to need Bactine on my neck. Plus, I could feel the current weather conditions on my scalp.
When I exited the shop the Secrets were there, and both had concerned “Holy shit!” looks on their faces.
“What happened?” one of them said.
“Let’s just get in the car,” I answered.
Sweet sainted mother of where’s my fucking baseball cap?!
The T-Shirt Lady sent me an email yesterday, telling me my reorder for the miscommunication shirts will be ready on Saturday. So, I’ll be picking them up tomorrow, and will have everything caught-up by Monday.
Once again, I dropped the price on the Evil Twin blue/gray shirts, and they’re a thing of beauty, straight-up. Please order seven or three today. My 48-hour shipping guarantee will kick-in the moment I pick up the OOPS! shirts tomorrow.
Here’s your link. Buy ’em up!
And what do you think about a Smoking Fish Snuggie? You can get them custom-made now, and I think it would be fantastic. What’s your thoughts on it?
Since I’m groveling like a ball-baby bitch here, please also don’t forget to enter the Amazon site through our links. There’s one at the end of all the latest updates, as well as other places throughout TheWVSR. If you do this, they’ll pay me roughly 5% of what you spend. So, it costs you nothing extra, and you’ll be supporting a worthy cause — my addiction to beer and fast food!
I don’t want to get overly cocky here, but I think our hacker problems might be behind us. It’s been almost 48 hours, and the spam code has not returned.
A couple of days ago Jan Ole Peek, who I sometimes hire to help with technical issues beyond my abilities, located a questionable folder at the site. It contained four small scripts that created secret pages, through which a spammer had full access to our files without a need for login information.
Diabolical! When I realized I had a problem, I changed all the usernames/passwords but the bad code kept coming back. Now I know why — the sphincter-spelunker installed his own backdoor portal into the West Virginia Surf Report! Grrr…
But I’m starting to believe the episode is over. Thanks to Jan, once again. If you ever need tech help with your WordPress site, he’s your guy. He has my unconditional endorsement, for what it’s worth.
I’ve applied for “reconsideration” at Google, so hopefully everything will be back to normal soon. Excruciating!
I posted a new Mockable update yesterday, and think it’s kinda funny. And today’s guest mock is excellent, as well. Please don’t forget about Mockable. We’re still chugging along over there. Quietly, in the background.
And I mentioned this once before, but “Bud Bundy’s” web show, Star-Ving is pretty damn hilarious. Don’t watch it with the kids, though. It’s not exactly Nickelodeon fare, if you know what I mean. Funny as hell, though. Check it out.
I’ll leave you now with a couple of questionable Questions…
Someone at work recently had their house broken into, and the thieves took their B.A.T (big ass television). Man, that infuriates me, just thinking about it. Have you ever had your house or apartment burgled?
I’m lucky, and don’t really have anything to contribute here. I’ve had shit stolen out of my car (like laundry!), but never an apartment or house. And I lived in Atlanta for six years.
What about you? Tell us about it in the comments.
Also, we’re receiving a ton of catalogs in the mail these days. Are there any particular ones that you actually look forward to receiving? We got a Crutchfield catalog yesterday, which is pretty good, and I got one last week frin CC Crane, a radio manufacturer. But I generally don’t get too excited by catalogs. Do you have any favorites?
If you’ve got anything on these two Questions, or anything else for that matter, use the comments to bring us up to date.
And I’ll see you guys on Monday.
Have a great weekend, my friends.