Sunshine and Mumbles are stranded somewhere in Arizona. Their 1982 Chevy van shit the credenza while they were on their way to Nancy’s house for Thanksgiving, only eight hours into a cross-country trip.
I know I’m the paranoid type, but there is no way in hell I’d trust that big shuddering bucket of bolts to get me from point A to point B. Especially when the two points are on opposite sides of a wide-ass continent. That junk-heap should’ve been stripped and crushed during Clinton’s first term.
And now Sunny and her mumblin’ hubby are holed-up in some thirty dollar-per night whore motel, way out in the desert somewhere. According to Sunshine the place is “overrun with Mexicans,” and their room doesn’t have a door knob; there’s just a chain running through the knob hole, with a padlock on it. Heh.
All this happened on Friday, I guess, and the local garage is wanting to charge them something like $1700 to repair a blown head gasket. Of course I have no idea how much something like that would cost, but when I told my Dad the story he got choked on his Dr. Pepper, and it was touch-and-go for a few seconds.
The garage didn’t have the parts, and it was the beginning of the weekend, so they told S&M it would probably be Tuesday before they could get to it. Therefore, they’ve been in that crab lice pube-doily masturbating trucker motel for four days now. If Sunny hadn’t brought along her tin of “antibiotics” she probably couldn’t have endured the horror of it all.
And that brings us to our part in all this…
Sunshine called Toney on Sunday, and was hinting that she wanted us to wire them some money. Apparently she’s calling everyone she knows with the tale of their Arizona nightmare, trying to extract cash from them.
Luckily, I wasn’t consulted during the decision-making process. Toney just told her we couldn’t do it, without further explanation. And I know it seems cold-blooded, but there’s more to the story. As there usually is, with Sunshine….
When this trip was being planned, you see, it was made clear that Toney and Nancy would have to finance most of the cost. S&M, for whatever reason, have no money all of a sudden. Who the hell knows?
But Toney and Nancy wanted them to fly out here, or take Amtrak again. That piece o’ shit van can’t be trusted, it’s well-known.
Sunshine had one of her well-timed panic attacks, though, just thinking about riding in an “uncomfortable and crowded” train for four or five days. And flying is completely out, because of terrorism, swine flu, and whatnot. It never stops.
So, a thousand dollars was begrudgingly sent to Sunshine, to cover a tune-up (on junk), new tires, and gas money. And now they’re broke-down, after making a high-horse stand, and expecting more money.
And that’s why Toney refused. She didn’t even hesitate, she just said, “Nope.” I’m an easy-touch, and probably would’ve sent additional funds, but Toney has a lot more history with the woman, and takes tougher stands, as well. Oh, she’s tough.
But even Toney is starting to feel a little guilty now. She called a few minutes ago, and we talked about sending more money. We haven’t decided yet, but it feels like the pendulum has swung in the other direction.
What would you do in this situation? Could you tell them no? It’s easy to have a knee-jerk reaction, and say “Screw you!” But it’s a little more complicated with family involved, and all dat. How would you proceed?
They want to get the van fixed, and continue to North (or is it South?) Carolina, then come to our house in mid-December. But how are we to know that turd of a van won’t break down again, in Texas or Arkansas? The padlocked whore motels in those states probably aren’t any more luxurious than they are in Arizona, right? Oh, this thing has all the makings of a full-blown money-suck at Christmastime…
So, let me know your opinions on this ridiculous situation. Also, if you have any good “broke down on the highway” stories to tell, I’d like to hear those as well. Use the comments link below.
And I’m going to Burger King now, then to work.
I’ll see you guys tomorrow, right here.
Thanks for reading!