I overslept yesterday, by four hours. It might be a new record. The alarm started going off at 9:30, and I jerked awake – with my heart racing – at 1:23 in the afternoon. How is such a thing even possible? Does the snooze feature on an alarm clock stop working at some point? Does it eventually just say fukkit? I remember slapping the thing into submission early, possibly the first time it went off, but don’t recall doing it again.
When the younger boy came home from school, I was still on my second cup of coffee. It was ludicrous. The whole day was shot. Then Toney’s car wouldn’t start… I had to bust out some jumper cables… we took it to a garage, and found out the battery was deader than David Crosby’s factory liver… It was fantastic. And $122 later, we were back to where we’d been a few hours before.
Today I ran some errands, and got a haircut. At the hair place they have a couple of tanning booths, and I saw an old codger emerge from one. He was probably in his mid-70s, and had skin like beef jerky. Clearly, he’s developed a tanning bed addiction, and is taking things too far. They need to cut him off, before he’s zapped of all his moisture, and they just find a pile of dust in there, and a set of super-white dentures.
A flamboyant gay man cut my hair, and did a good job. The dude was gliding around my chair. The cut cost $17.00, and I tipped him $5.00. How much do you tip those haircut folk? Is five bucks a reasonable amount, or am I way off in some direction? Please help me out. I don’t know anything about anything.
Also, I’ve turned the corner on my eyebrows. It used to irritate me when they’d ask if I want my brows trimmed, but I’ve now embraced it. Sure, it’s an old man procedure, but it needs done. Wild, wiry hairs grow there now, in every direction. The shit needs beaten back every month or so. Ya know?
Speaking of old man… I find myself at a crossroads. I don’t like it when young whippersnappers call me “sir,” and I also don’t like it when they call me “man,” or “dude.” The first one makes me feel old, and the other two don’t seem respectful enough, considering how old I am. Yeah, I know it might be somewhat hypocritical, but tough shit. What’s your feelings on this one? Do you care how the younglings address you? Tell us about it.
And when I typed the word ‘crossroads’ in the previous paragraph, it reminded me… The novel is free in the Kindle Store, today and tomorrow. If you have any immature friends who you think might enjoy it, please let them know. They have until 3 a.m. Sunday morning, EST. Then the price shoots all the way up to $5.
Not too long ago I saw 1981 Bob Seger driving a forklift at Home Depot, and today I saw 1972 Neil Young hitchhiking near the entrance ramp of the interstate. I often see “celebrities” (I spot the Video Professor three or four times a day), but usually they’re in their current incarnation. This is a new development, seeing celebs from previous eras.
What close approximations of famous people have you seen lately? Besides the Video Professor, I mean. Everybody sees him.
Today I reclaimed the old suggestaholic domain name. I let it go, several years ago, and almost instantly regretted it. To make matters worse, GoDaddy was holding it hostage, calling it a “premium” domain, and asking something like $200 for it. Funk dat. I waited them out, though, and they finally returned it to the open market this week. And I was all over it, like a spider monkey on a paperboy. I don’t know if I’ll do anything with it, but it’s there if I need it.
Next on my domain wish list: mockable dotcom. It’s parked by someone, and not being used. It’s gonna be a tough nut to crack. Also: wvsr dotcom. It’s been registered to the same people, since 1997. But I’m watching… always watching.
I currently own nine domains, and only use the one we’re on now. Mockable is still up, and the CrossroadsRoad landing page is active, but nothing is being added to either of them. Most of the others just redirect to the Surf Report. I’ve had one for many years, and a really good idea to go along with it. But it will require a lot of coding, which I can’t do, and so it remains in the “someday” category.
I think I’m starting to grow a wart on my nose. And what’s the story with that? I remember having warts on my hands when I was a kid, and my mother putting medicine on them, until they fell off.
But I haven’t had anything like that happen since the Johnson Administration. Do you have any history with warts? Yeah, I know… it’s probably herpes, right? Nose herpes. I’ll beat you guys to the punch.
But how do I get rid of this thing, before it goes out of control, and I’m walking around with a full-blown biscuit of flesh attached to my face? I need to tap into your wart know-how. For some reason, I’m sensing a lot of wart knowledge out there.
Before I call it a day here, I’d like to alert you to another of Jason Headley’s short films. This one is really short – less than two minutes – but it’s very funny, and well-done. He scoffed when I recently told him he’s becoming a good actor, but it’s true. Check it out.
He’s getting a lot of attention with this one, and it’s deserved. I think it was featured on Funny Or Die, and also mentioned on the USA Today website. Congrats, Jason! You’re doing great work, dude (or sir).
And that’s going to do it, boys and girls. I asked several Questions throughout this update, so please take it from here. Of course, you don’t have to answer the Questions, if you don’t want. Talk about anything you’d like. There are (almost) no rules at TheWVSR.
Have yourselves a great weekend.
I’ll see ya soon.