A Few Quick Things vol. 644
And speaking of places I’ve lived… My grandmother’s house, in Dunbar, burned last weekend. I found out from Bill, who went the extra mile and sent pics, including this one. Ugh.
The whole thing is quite upsetting. I spent many thousands of hours in that house, almost literally from the day I was born. My grandparents had it built in the mid-1950s, and my grandmother was still living there until shortly before she died a few years ago.
My mother and aunt inherited the house, and sold it to a single woman. Reportedly with a single leg… I’ve never met this person, but I don’t like her. Because she was living in my grandmother’s house! What right did she have?! Yeah, I know, she bought it. But that’s just splitting hairs.
I imagined her in there, day and night, scratching up the hardwood floors with her peg leg. Just dragging it around, and cutting deep grooves everywhere… I always wanted to buy the place, mostly to keep such strangers out of it, but I’ve got my hands-full paying for one house.
And now it’s been burned-up. The woman reportedly had a lit candle on an end table, got up from the couch to get more Funyuns or whatever, and knocked a pillow against the flame. Simply excellent.
I was wild when I found out, and believe I actually shouted the phrase, “Why the hell does a one-legged woman need to burn candles anyway?!”
My mother and aunt both shed tears over this turn of events, and I’m just hoping the place doesn’t need to be bulldozed. Because if that happens… I’ll probably be joining them. And I can’t have that.
I went to my first HTML class yesterday, at the University of Scranton. It was good, for the most part. I’ll go into more detail at a later date, after I’ve gotten some distance from it, but there was something quite annoying about the day. I’d better not write about it yet, though.
The instructor is good, and clearly knows his stuff. And much of the mystery surrounding code has already been erased. By the end of the day we were actually creating terrible, rudimentary websites by hand. It was amazing to me.
Next week he’ll be covering JavaScript. Pass the beer nuts.
One of the most mind-blowing things about the day was lunch. We were allowed to run wild in one of the campus “cafeterias.” And I put the word in quotes, because it’s not like any school cafeteria I’ve ever visited. Holy crap-nodules.
It was like an upscale buffet. There were various stations here and there, each manned by a chef. They had a person cooking up Chinese stir-fry, a place where you could get a Thanksgiving-style dinner (complete with hand-carved turkey), several interesting sandwich options, and a freakin’ brick pizza oven. It was incredible.
I had something called a Five Alarm chicken sandwich, fries, and a brownie for dessert. And it was all good.
Three of us from class sat together, and the other guys were pretty funny. They seemed to have the same outlook on life as I do, and we had a good cynical time.
We were surrounded by a sea of 19 year olds. Nobody paid much attention to us, but it made me feel fairly vintage. They probably thought I was someone’s Dad, or there to fix the chicken rotisserie.
While we were eating, a girl walked past wearing a Hurricane High School sweatshirt. There’s a town near where I grew up called Hurricane, and I wondered if she might be from there. I thought about asking her, but decided it might not be such a great idea; visions of Roman Polanski danced in my head.
During lunch I also learned that I’m eligible to buy software through the school, at a hefty student discount. I’m seriously considering Dreamweaver, which I can get for roughly half what Amazon is selling it for. It’s something I’ll be obsessing about for the next several days.
Overall, it was a pleasant experience. I kinda wish I’d signed up for the full Web design certificate, instead of just one class. I think I could get addicted to continuing education; I actually go into it with the proper attitude now, and want to learn. Unlike my previous experience with higher education…
Before I call it a day here, I want to alert you to yet another Smoking Fish sighting, right here. Thanks guys! I appreciate it. And keep the pictures coming; we’re on a roll.
Also, there are still 359 of you who haven’t re-confirmed your subscriptions to the new, improved mailing list. That’s a lot of folks who won’t be gaining access to the super-secret updates…
The old list has been retired, and won’t be used again. You must re-subscribe, or click the link inside the email I recently sent you. Either will work, but you’ve gotta do one or the other. Or you’ll be leading a sad, Nancy-less existence.
So, if you’re not sure if you’re subscribed, it would probably be a good idea to do it again. If you’re already in the database, the system will tell you. No harm, no foul.
And I’ll leave you now with the Question of the Day… Actually two of them, since I’m not overly confident about either.
I don’t have any tattoos, and barring a drunken bad decision (always a possibility), I’ll never have one. I’m not really a tattoo kind of guy, when it gets right down to it. Although Mark Maynard tried his best to talk me into having the Smoking Fish soldered to one of my arms. Um, no.
My question: do you have one you regret? Or, do you know someone who wishes they could go back in time to the day they decided to get a certain tat, and have a do-over? Tell us about it, won’t you?
I know a woman who has an extra-large Tweety Bird on her right shoulder, flipping the middle finger. I laughed when she showed it to me, thinking it must date from her reckless teenage years. But it turns out it’s only about a year old — and she’s roughly my age. No regrets, she says. Even though such an emotion is warranted…
So, use the comments section for that one.
Also, a few weeks ago there was a photo of Barack Obama all over the news, shirtless on a beach. Then, a couple days later, a similar topless photo of Vladimir Putin appeared. Both were highly disturbing, in my opinion. But whatever.
I’d like to know what politicians or world leaders you’d LEAST like to see shirtless. They can be living or dead; it doesn’t really matter, does it?
I’ll get the ball rolling with the person who jumps immediately to my mind: Janet Reno. Sweet shit!
So, there ya go. Do with that what you will, and I’ll see you guys on Monday.
Have a great weekend, my friends.
Filed under: Daily
1st!
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2nd, and it’s been a long time, Baby!
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top 5!
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Sweet Jebus top ten and i read it!
Maggie Thatcher, Hillary Clinton come to mind for the topless full body shiver image.
I’m still planning my to be regretted tatttoo – a snarling grizzly!!
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woohoo, top 5
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A shirtless HIllary Clinton! My fingers almost refused to type those words.
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The bunker cam is wildly disturbing!!!
I have one tattoo, no regrets. It’s on my right thigh near my hip, small sunflower…nobody knows it’s there unless I make the effort to show them.
I’m not a big fan of tattoos that are visible from your everyday wardrobe.
Please GOD I don’t want to see Hillary Clinton on the beach…or John McCain either.
The majority of our politicians are over the age of 50 or 60…I’d prefer them ALL keep their clothes on.
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Regret – rushing through college in 3 years! Now I’d like to have that last year back just to be “carefree” again.
Shirtless – no thanks to Sadaam Hussein. That guy seemed like he was wearing a non-removable sweater all the time. Yikes!
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Love the Heavy Metal name thing. Remember, only users lose drugs.
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Shirtless? Winston Churchill. Especially now.
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Oh, fine 11
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Am getting a tattoo within the next month or two. I’ll let you know whether I regret it or not.
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A shirtless Robert C. Byrd would resemble a blood hound.
A shirtless Sarah Palin would get my attention unless her assets are really being supported well and once the top was removed you’d see a couple of flesh slinkys.
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BTW, is that Flea in the Bunker Pic with his long-lost poofter brother?
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Tattoo schmattoo.
Top 4500!
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Hey Jeff,
Since you are a “student” now, you also get a nice discount at the Apple store as well as various freebies. I bought a computer and got a free iPod, as well as something like 25% off software, warranties, etc….
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Nancy fucking Pelosi. I’d like to wrap he head in burning plastic. Got a tat at age 16 thought I was a hard ass but no regrets I guess.
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Buy Dreamweaver at the excellent discount. Trust me, it’s totally worth it. It won’t jack up your code like other WYSIWYG editors, and it has tons of great functionality.
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HER head sumbitch. I’m in a bad mood today if you can’t tell had to lay off 4 guys at work today that makes 9 total and counting. And that bitch gets 4 million buck for American Somoa.
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R.I.P. Circuit Shitty !!
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Tip O’neil – though I bet he’d have been fun to drink with.
http://www.tomroeser.com/blog/img/f23980/tip_o_neil.jpg
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One tattoo-small of my back-a dragonfly, I wanted just the black lines, no color, but the guy talked me into color. Definitely should have stuck to my guns-I HATE the color-I wonder if there is a way to go over the color with “caucasion white”….Definitely regrets, good thing I can’t see it without deliberately looking at my butt in the mirror-or I would start every day pissed off….oh, I already do that.
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I have a tattoo that I regret. It’s on my left buttcheek. It’s Elmer Fudd and he’s pointing his shotgun at my asshole and saying, “Come out you Waskily Wabbit.”
No, not really. No tattoos for me. Also no piercings.
I wouldn’t want to see Howard Taft nekkid – though I doubt that his dick would be visible while he’s standing upright.
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I want a tattoo of a shirtless Rod Blagojavich.
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2Tall doesn’t want to see a shirtless Bob Dole.
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I have three tattoos and no regrets.
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It’s pretty common these days to see people with tattoos. I live in a college town where not to many years ago there were no tattoo shops – now there are three. It does seem sort of funny to me when I see girls with full sleeve tattoos though. I often think – that is a fad that you are not going to toss in the back of the closet when the styles change.
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I’ve always wanted to turn a small birthmark that I have at the bikini line, into a wood tick by adding some legs to it. My husband is against it so it is on a list of things that I have to do when he’s dead.
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I’d like to see Bob Dole’s tits.
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Sorry to hear about the house. The picture seems like there’s not a lot of structural damage (then again we didn’t see the whole series) so I would think that a good insurance constrution company could rehab it pretty quickly.
School is a lot of fun when you want to be there. I’m having a blast and as soon as the temperatures climb back above “dark side of pluto” I’m sure the coed watching will improve.
Is there any way you can block the smoking fish sighting from Kathleen? Between the local weather and the mention of Indy car races I don’t know is she’ll be able to stand the strain.
And in a related note, remind me never to arm wrestle Qweezy Mark. I mean seriously, dude, when you go the the grocery store, do jars just open themselves out of fear or what?
No tats here, nor do I know anyone who regrets them. I know a few people who have too many, but they seem pleased with them.
And people I don’t want to think about nood: the soon-to-be SecState for sure, also one of her predecessors, Madeline Abright. Yeep. Ted Kenedy. George HW Bush. Jimmie Carter. Richard Nixon. LBJ. FDR, WIlliam Howard Taft. Teddy Roosevelt. Huey Long. Not a politician, but close enough- Helen Thomas. Rosie O’Donnel. Star Jones. Oprah. Mary Todd Lincoln. Ed Asner. Dennis Franz. Dame Judy Dench. Bea Arthur. Jean Stapelton. Billy Bob Thornton. Bille Jean King. Larry Flint. The entire cast of Taxi excluding Mary Lou Henner. Alan Alda. George Burns. The list goes on and on and on….
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Regrets…..dropping computer programming 101 during freshman year of college in 1980. ‘What the hell will I ever need this for? ‘ Maybe lots of money made by now.
Politician I’d least like to see topless….Slam Dunk, Golda Meir.
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You can discount one of your 359 no-signs, as I took the opportunity to switch my email address when signing up for the new mailing list.
Law enforcement just loves tatoos – you might as well slap a bar code on your ass. Not that I plan to become a felon or anything, but it pays to keep your options open.
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Nacy Pelosi? I’d bang that wench!!! Sexy nurse outfit with thigh highs anf “F” me pumps….mmmmmmmmm!!!!!
I also say that the thought of naked Tip O’neil would give me an anyuism…
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Sandra Bernhard, Cindy McCain, Ed McMahon and Andy Rooney are shirtless dry heavers.
No thanks on a tattoo, especially after I start receiving medicare.
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Jeff,
first of all, I definately do not want to see Spiro T. Agnew with out his shirt, or Richard Nixon for that matter. Any other politicians from the 70′s I’m OK with though. Is that strange?
That said, I am glad you were impressed w/ the cafe at Da U. one of my best freinds is the food and beverage guy there and he works real hard on it, I’ll pass your kind words on. I guess it doesn’t suck.
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I’d like to see Chealsea Clinton topless. Sarah Palin also. Oh we were supposed tio do not topless….never mind…
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No tats, no regrets.
Politicians least likely to be appreciated topless: Maggie Thatcher, Boris Yeltsin, Mao, Idi Amin, Janet Reno…..
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No tats. Did you heard about the woman who’s husban loved Eric Clapton and Bob Marly? He loved them so much that she got one tattoed on the upper inside of her thigh and the other on the other side for his birthday. When her husband got home she laid back and showed him. He was delighted but did not understand why Willie Nelson was in the middle.
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Jesse Ventura and Arnold Schwarzenegger – oh, I have seen him shirtless and Jesse has a UDT/SEAL emblem tatto.
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Jeff,
I use Dreamweaver at work to get articles ready for our company website. I can do the formatting by hand but Dreamweaver saves a ton of time, especially with large articles. I highly recommend it! (Of course I did not have to pay for my own copy!)
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My Granddaddy had a hula girl tattooed on his forearm. No color, just black ink. The fine lines had bled a little and it was a little blurry – I guess that’s the best way to describe it. anyway, he could make her dance a little. I miss him.
sorry about your Grandmother’s house burning. that sucks so much. My uncle bought my Grandparent’s farm after Granddaddy died and they moved Grandmother into a sad, depressing apartment. They bulldozed the wooden farm house and put up a brick ranch. The whole family, I mean everybody, was sick about it. Places like that are holy to some of us.
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a friend of mine has a mosquito tattooed on the back of her neck…guess how many times she gets smacked! i love my tattoos…alaskan wildflowers on my right calf and another whimisical little flower on my left ankle. my mom however hates em.
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No tattoos.
I’d considered them for years but I think I’m a bit long in the tooth for that caper!
Margaret Thatcher. Ann Widecome. -in fact all Brittish Tories! Yeuch!
I think if we’d been privy to Tony Blairs rippling torso, a second term and the UK’s involvement in the invasion of Iraq might have been averted.
Alas, the shirt stayed on.
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I have a tattoo that I don’t regret but needs to be redone. It is a half moon with three water drops (it is supposed to be a rune for “blessings”) but my kids insist it is a blue’s clue. Whenever I go to the beach children shrie “A clue! A clue!” lol. Maybe I should just go with it and have Joe tattoed next to it. Or something.
I want more but am too poor to get the level of work that I want.
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No tattoos myself, but my dad had a great one of Betty Grable on his upper arm. She went from shoulder to elbow. He could make her move, too!
She looked just like this:
http://curlygrrl.files.wordpress.com/2007/09/betty-grable.jpg
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Zara Cully Brown aka Mother Jefferson
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Toss-up…Eleanor Roosevelt v.Madaline Albricht
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Male- Boris Yeltsin
Female- Golda Meir
Saw a horrid troll of a woman at a Reds game a few years back. She had a tattoo on her forearm that featured lettering inside flames.
It said, “SEE YOU IN HELL!”
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Good Morning Surf Reporters…….
I missed out on catching the update yesterday, but I’m suffering from a head/chest cold that is absolutely kicking me arse.
Took the day off from work(Friday), but yet my boss still found it necessary to call me at home 4 times. Nice to know I’m needed, even while I’m jacked up on Comtrex and prone on the couch.
No tattoos here, no piercings or any other body modifications. I’m sticking to the original hand I was dealt.
My first roommate in college used a pick up line that involved tattoos. He’d tell a cute girl that he had two tattoos and asked if she would like to see them. When she agreed, he’d lift up his shirt exposing his chest and explain that he was born without nipples and that they had to be tattooed on.
Corny as hell, but somehow always seemed to work. That boy got more ass than a toilet seat.
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Nothing says trash like a tattooed woman.
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I would suggest a tic-tac-toe board tattoo for tramp stamps. That way a fellar has some alternative entertainment when the cable goes out.
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Why yes, Jorge! They do indeed. That’s all Jim Beam and beer, BTW.
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Late to the game but here none the less! I have 4 tattoos. I have a Zoology degree. 3 of mine are animals and none of them are tramp stamps. I have a frog, a turtle, and a butterfly. I also have my initials. I do have 1 regret. Not the tattoo itself, just the design. I was young and stupid. My frog is sitting on a mushroom and smoking a joint. Looks a little silly on a 30+ year old woman. But it is on the back of my calf so it is only seen in the summer. I do want another one even though I haven’t gotten 1 in almost 10 years. I want an otter on my back. Wally is against it so I will just wait until he gets deployed! Won’t that be an excellent homecoming gift?
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I’m drunk right now and if there were a tattoo parlor next door to me I’d go and get an airplane floating in the Hudson with people standing on the wings tattooed right across my chest. That was fucking awesome. That pilot shouldn’t have to buy his own drink for the rest of his life.
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The politician I would least like to see shirtless – Madeleine Albright. Thank God for small favors.
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No tattoos.
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Sandra Bernhard is a dry heaver with shirts on, sans shirt, and even with a bag over her head ,cuz you can still hear her, She looks like she smells bad…
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What, Blago’s track suit isn’t repulsive enough? You want to see him shirtless too??? Yikes! It’s like Richie Rich on steroids…
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Jason, so right!
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“My mother and aunt inherited the house, and sold it to a single woman. Reportedly with a single leg……”
For some reason this statement brought the image of the the one legged lady on My Name is Earl……. Almost spewed my coffee…..LMFAO!!!!!!!
Least favorite shirtless politician
It’s a slam dunk…. John McCain,
No tattos……
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No doubt Jason, having spent a fair amount of time in the avaition field I’d buy the man a drink…… or twelve!
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YAAAAY STEELERS! Wish Eagles had been in it, but that wasn’t to be. At least my loyalties won’t be divided. HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!!
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STEELERS INDEED!!
The Cardinals proved that it’s OK to tackle a receiver while he’s trying to catch the ball…shit!
Eagle would have lost anyway because I was watching.
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I have 4 tat’s…they are all in places that can not be seen unless I show you…I have no regrets.
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