A few days ago I was driving home from the library, and there was a woman walking a dog through our neighborhood. Nothing unusual about that… and I instinctively gave her a friendly wave as I went past; it’s how we do things here in suburbia. However, the tale takes a very dark turn from there.
When I got home Toney noticed the woman walking past our house, and casually mentioned that it was our neighbor, “Mrs. Half-Shirt.” What?! I don’t even know what she looks like, but can’t stand her. She’s my faceless nemesis. And I’d just smiled and waved at her?!
Man, this information wrecked the rest of my day. I wanted to go over there, knock on their door, and rescind my wave: “Yeah, listen… When I waved at you a few minutes ago, it was all a big misunderstanding. I’d never knowingly wave at you, on account of the cuntiness, so I’d like to take it back.”
But I just walked around the house and stewed about it, instead. It was greatly upsetting: my own personal ‘Nam. I have the kind of wounds you can’t see.
Several weeks ago Toney and I were driving somewhere on a Saturday morning, and went past one of the roughly 5000 soccer fields in this area. It was filled with young kids, and their parents seated in camping chairs, watching.
Toney said, “I kind of miss those days. I loved being out there on a crisp fall morning, with a good cup of coffee…”
That’s her instant memory of the soccer days. And to demonstrate how two people can have a completely different view of the exact same thing… I looked over there, saw all those kids chasing balls in packs, and thought one thing: gnats.
At those soccer games (matches?), it seems like all I did was wave gnats away, and bitch. Instantly that’s what popped into my mind. There was no crisp autumn morning, or freshly brewed coffee… Just tiny bugs in my face and ears, and sometimes landing on my eyeballs. Hey, whatever.
A few days ago I received a call on my cell phone, from a number I didn’t recognize. I frowned, and hit the IGNORE button. Later, I listened to the voice message. It was a recording, urging me to buy stuff at eBay. WTS? I’d been robo-called by eBay? It’s weird. Is this kind of thing starting to happen now? I’m usually the last to know. Do you receive cell phone calls like this? I don’t care for it, not one tiny bit.
I need to go to work, now. But before I wrap it up… I want to remind you about our Amazon links again. Please don’t forget to pass through one of them (like this one), before doing your holiday shopping. It costs you nothing extra, but I’ll receive a small portion of whatever you spend. It’s an easy way to support the Surf Report!
Every year I hope to have a bigger Amazon December than the year before. And right now… we’re $60 down. So, please don’t forget to pass through our links. It’s just a couple of extra clicks, but it helps me immensely.
Thank you very much.
And now I’ll leave you with a questionable Question. A few days ago I asked if there was anything from your life that you’d like to unsee. That went pretty well, so let’s expand it today, to the rest of the senses.
In the comments section, please tell us about the things you wish you could:
Does anything jump to your mind for any of those? If so, please share it with us below.
And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great day!