A Few Quick Things, vol. 41
Another thing that pisses me off is voicemail systems designed to sound like real people. My credit union, which is conveniently located in Hollywood, California, recently installed one of those deals, and it bothers me.
When I call, it tells me to listen carefully because their menu has changed, and I always holler, “No it hasn’t! I just called yesterday, you lying sack!!” Then she starts prompting me to push buttons, in response to incredibly stupid questions.
“If you would like to complete this call using the touchtone keypad on your phone, press 1.” No, I’d much prefer to navigate your labyrinth via a series of tones emitted from my anus. A squeaker means checking, a tugboat blast means savings, etc.
“If you would like to enquire on your account, press 1.” WTF? Why do you think I called? This is an automated banking system. I know you’re never supposed to assume, but come on. It’s like an ER nurse asking a man with a steering column through his torso, “Can I help you with something?”
Then she tells me to punch in my account number and password, and that’s when the “realness” kicks-in. She says, in a chirpy tone, “Hold on, while I look that up for you!” And I can actually hear the clickety-clack of a computer keyboard. Except it’s all bullshit, because it’s just a series of canned, digital responses.
Throughout the rest of the call, she (this faceless robot) talks to me as a human being might. In the old days it was very machine-like, but now there are inflections to their “voices,” and sometimes they even have a British accent. I guess the higher-ups believe this sounds more sophisticated… And, of course, they’re right.
I don’t like the fake real person, it agitates me. I certainly don’t mind a genuinely fake person, in fact I prefer it to a live human. Live humans REALLY get under my skin. Fuck them. But when you start trying to fool me, or give me a warm and fuzzy feeling via your freaking voicemail system… Well, that’s a bridge too far.
Man, I’m getting all worked up, just writing about it.
I’m going to attempt to be a little vague here, but there’s a man I sometimes encounter, at a place where I spend sixty hours per week. (Pretty slick, huh?) He’s in his early sixties, I’d guess, and seems like a friendly fellow. I say “seems” because I’ve never actually talked with him, because, you see, he speaks nothing but Russian. He’s reportedly newly arrived to this country, and hasn’t learned the language. At all.
And how does something like that happen? How does a Russian man, in his sixties, end up working for a janitorial service in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania? I’d love to have a conversation with him, and get the full story. I’m fascinated, because it all seems so improbable.
Maybe we could email each other, using the Google translation tool, or something? Can you imagine just suddenly being relocated to a country where you don’t know the language, not one word, and going out to work every day? He must feel completely isolated.
He sometimes sits in the break room, listening to an mp3 player, and I always wonder what he’s playing. Maybe the Russian Jean Shepherd? The Ukrainian David Sedaris? The Armenian Weezer? Who knows?
Have you ever attempted to communicate with someone who doesn’t speak a word of English? How’d you do it? Also, have you ever been somewhere, completely alone, where you didn’t speak the language? Tell us about it, won’t you?
I got a small dose of it when I moved to northeastern PA, but it’s not exactly the same.
I’ve been listening to the Adam Carolla podcast at work, and find it to be hilarious. Since I’m almost completely cut-off from popular culture, I didn’t know much about him (still don’t), but his podcast kills me. He told a story a few nights ago about a receptionist at the E Network who, he said, was “lightly dusted” with Down Syndrome, that had me wiping away tears of laughter.
Do you regularly listen to any podcasts? Which ones can you recommend to me? ‘Cause I’ve got an inordinate amount of listening time on my hands…
I mentioned that I’m planning to buy the $139 Kindle soon, and several of you said I should opt for the 3G model instead. Can you tell me why? I thought I’d be using it like an iPod, for books. When I’m home I could load stuff on there, and read it whenever I wanted. I don’t download songs to my iPod when I’m out and about, and don’t see why I’d need to do it with books either.
But, I admit that I don’t know a whole lot about it. And I often pass on things that seem useless to me, only to regret it in the future. So, help me understand why the 3G model is the way to go. I don’t want to screw this one up.
And Toney took the day off, so we’re going to spend the afternoon together. Yes, it’s a novelty, but I think it might be fun. We’re going to start at Five Guys, and take it from there. Mmmm… Five Guys. And I can see a six-pack of Dogfish Head in our immediate future, too. Oh, yes I can. Thursdays are my weekends, so I’ve gotta make ‘em count.
I’ll be back tomorrow, I hope, with another WTF Friday entry. I have no idea what it might be, but I’ll come up with some kind of ridiculousness… maybe.
Have a great day, my friends.
Filed under: Daily
first!!
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JCIII Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 12:16 pm
only ’cause I was typing more than my obligatory greeting. But I’m happy for you. really.
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TILLY Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 12:35 pm
i can feel it- really I can!!
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Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…..
I missed the last check in. Tons of people say I look like Conan O’Brien
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Son of Sam Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 8:09 pm
I met ya and I’d say thats about right.
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WB in OH Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 12:22 pm
Pompadour and all?
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I’ve been to several countries where no one spoke English.
I was going to get a Kindle, but the price of books seems to be the same as buying the actual book, so I said the hell with that.
I think the 3G deal is suppose to be more far reaching.
I would check to see if it is available in your area.
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He didn’t come to Amareca to be no goddamn flo sweepin’ janitor. Whoa! He’s a goddamn cawmniss. Spyin’ cawmniss fo show. Motherfucker up to no good.
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dougincincy Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 4:15 pm
The Night of Joy stays filthy when you sweep with your sunglasses on Jones.
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I stopped drinking around a month ago and feel all the time like I am in a place where I don’t speak the language but I never actually have been. I too have often wondered how people from abroad end up in obscure places in the US and don’t speak the language. It is weird and I would be interested to know his story as well.
Enjoy your day off with the wife!!!!
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I have encountered some of those automated phone people who even have a “we’re sharing a bit of an inside joke” tone. It totally disorients you.
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The reason you should get the 3G version is simple, Jeff: Wikipedia anywhere. It’s your own personal Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, wif books. You can also get newspapers and blogs and the like on the go, too. And it doesn’t charge you a monthly fee. Once you buy it, you get the 3G service as long as it still works.
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I’ve been to Canada a couple of times but speak zero Canadien. I got by, by stuffing dollars in G-strings and pointing at my empty beer.
Currently I’m working on a project where the engineering team is from Spain, what a pain in the ass. Another company on the project has some Mexicans working for them, you think Spanish is Spanish? Apparrently not, the Spaniards have a tough time communicating with the Mexicans which I find hilarious.
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Big Bear in OH Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 1:14 pm
I tried my hand at translating at a brick quarry down here…turns out the spanish they teach you in high school is from Spain, whereas the immigrant labor down here speaks “Messican” according to their foreman. Try telling somebody to empty their pockets for a drug screen, and instead, telling them to take a little something out of their pants. Talk about AWKWARD.
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Valentin Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 1:15 pm
Spain Spanish is proper Spanish. With Mexican Spanish there are a lot of slang words.
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eeyoresmama Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 8:46 pm
Nephew visited his Spanish grandparents and tried his Dora the Explorer Spanish on them. When they stopped laughing, they told him that Dora speaks Gutter Mexican, not Spanish.
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The bunker cam sure is cheesy.
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dto Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Just another day at the Gueniss Book testical weigh in division.
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Jeff–I really find Kole Ross’s “Stand Under the Don’t Tree and Riddle Me This” podcast pretty entertaining. He’s a guy I went to high school with, but is a pretty good podcaster and amateur radio personality. http://www.donttreeriddle.com for that one. Also My Brother, My Brother and Me is another good one at http://www.MBMBAM.com that keeps me laughing pretty hard. As for being somewhere that you don’t speak the language, try going to an auction and being surrounded by Amish people, pointing at you and laughing. I hate those stinky bastards, but they sure make good pie.
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Some of the voices you hear are computer generated and not real people… like the guy on the local on the 8″s on the Weather Channel.
The only reason to buy the 3G version is if you plan on downloading where you don’t have access to a wireless network.
@ ognir: New releases are $20 and you can buy them on Kindle for $10, 14 books and you have paid for the Kindle. Not all books are discounted in the stores, I read SF Anthologies and I can save $10 a book thru the Kindle. Not to mention I don’t have to drive to the bookstore and they don’t have to cut down trees to make the book. You can also look at some of the readers that allow you to download books from your local library.
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Ognir Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 1:49 pm
The Nook is the one you can do library books with.
I seldom buy books, as I have hundreds of books, and no where to put anymore. So that was my reason to possibly buy a Kindle. When I looked at some of the books I wanted, they were the same price as buying the actual book.
I should also say it was out of the frustration of having to inter library loan most of the books I want to read.
I may re-consider buying one at some point in the future.
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Casey J Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 4:26 pm
I have one, and it is great. Until I have to buy books to put on it…which is great till it breaks or some such nonsense. I don’t own the book, and that thought bothers me a bit. I am nerdy, and still use my library up the road. weird huh??
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fryguy Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 5:06 pm
once you buy a book you own the rights to it, if your kindle breaks you can download any book you have bought back into it. You can also share books with others for a 2 week period now
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t-storm Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 5:16 pm
But what if you’ve gone through menopause?
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fryguy Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 5:26 pm
the scary thing is I was listening to an ad on TV for menopause meds and I have all the symptoms!
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clintcurtis Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 2:59 am
fryguy, I am laughing so hard right now…and at my advanced age, that is NOT a good thing. If I have a stroke with1ing the next few minutes, it’s all on your head! LOL
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I listen to a whole lotta podcasts. They are all either gay podcasters, or just supporters of LGBT rights/community & they are all so funny & I have become attached to all the podcasters. I even go so far as to send them gifts or cards & call in regularly to their shows. The podcasts I listen to (and HIGHLY suggest) are as follows:
BigFattyOnline
Vera Speaks…For Real
The Foul Monkeys
Hello Nessa
Live It Up!
The Little Fatty Cast
Pod Is My Copilot
Big Silly Homo
Ramble Redhead
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Still worrying about getting my kids Christmas presents, so I have no comment on a device that will prompt me to “read”, at a cost. I can’t get into the point of it.
Any previously full time and now, part time job, I have worked in the restaurant business, or for that matter, warehouse, has delighted me with Messicans who I know goddamn well know how to speak English, but choose not to, as it may require extra assignments at those jobs. It’s better to play “no habla” than have to understand additional duties. And they are clever for it. And dumbass supervisors that never deserved their job to begin with, will buy it, outright.
I love the holiday season. Makes me hate my fellow man even more.
And I hate going to the library to log into this place. The IT Nazis must die…..right before Christmas.
And what’s with that Harry Potter movie stopping right in the middle?
Carry on.
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The Russian guy is probably in the former commie witness protection program. Knew of several when I was in the AF.
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Podcasts:
Jimmy Pardo – Never Not Funny
Bill Burr – A guy that gets as pissed about things as you do!
Harlan Williams – a nut…
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@angrywhite guy! yooooo! missed you man!
anone know if you can put comics on a kindle or is it just text?
eh… i’m getting a cheapo chineese knokoff ipad…
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Jeff – I’m sure he mentions it on his podcast, but I HIGHLY suggest Adam Carolla’s new book – In Fifty Years We All Be Chicks. It’s an easy read, only 260 pages or so and you’ll get a kick out of it.
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The bag is full of cheese?
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Hey Jeff I have 2 podcasts for you.
1) Answer Me This
http://www.answermethispodcast.com/listen
A UK podcast where people call and write in questions. Very funny.
2) Movies About Girls
http://www.moviesaboutgirls.com/
(91 eps on the left)
Marathon 6+ hour episodes. A panel discuss weird news, sleazy films and there’s a search for the worst song in the world.
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Cheese
Cheese
Cheese
Let the cheese rest by the waters
Lay me down in a garden of cheese
On my knees
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When speaking to someone who does not speak English I find they seem to understand if I shout. . . . or perhaps it just seems that way?
My favorite podcast is The Moth, stories told live, on stage without notes. Some of the stories are hysterical, some informative, some heart wrenching.
As for getting the kindle. Hold out for the iPad. Lester got a Kindle last Christmas and after playing with his and then adding the Kindle App on my iPad , i can say that reading on the iPad is a much more book-like experience.
Plus with all of the Amazon Holiday Shopping i plan to do this weekend, you’ll have enough to bring the iPad price down to Kindle size!
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bikerchick Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 2:39 pm
She said he was “playing with his”
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fryguy Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 5:11 pm
hmmm…. iPad @ $700 or Kindle @ $139, with the MUCH longer battery life think I’ll take the Kindle. I can break a few and still come out ahead…
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Valentin Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 5:30 pm
$700, what a waste of money. Do you know how much beer and pot you could buy with $700? Enough…
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CADude Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 6:16 pm
An ounce of Super OC Master Kush (not including papers or (better) vaporizer), and about 10 cases of imported or craft beer (including bottle deposit and tax)
Or so I’ve heard.
-Dude
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Son of Sam Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 8:25 pm
When do we start.
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If you like comedy and funny banter… here are some great podcasts:
The Joe Rogan Experience
http://blog.joerogan.net/podcast-2
Comedy Death Ray Radio
http://www.earwolf.com/
The Pd F. Tompkast
http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-pod-f-tompkast/id385372276
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I like cheese.
I cut the cheese.
I ate the cheese.
Cheese is the bees knees!
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I haven’t listened to them yet, but my brother was telling me over the weekend that the Ricky Gervais/Stephen Merchant podcasts are the funniest thing he has heard in a long time. And my brother is a really funny guy, so I trust his judgment on all things funny.
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Melissa Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 3:15 pm
The Ricky Gervais/Stephen Merchant podcast is by far the most hilarious podcast (and I have heard A LOT of different podcasts!) but my gripe is that they very rarely update. After waiting over 6 months for a new podcast I finally gave up and unsubscribed. The ones they do eek out are about 13-20 minutes long (sometimes you’ll get an hour gem in there) but those minutes are spent on the floor, gasping for air.
Ricky Gervais is genius!
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Dawn Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 6:38 pm
I will have to ask my brother for more info, but he was saying that he also found another whole set of podcasts that he ended up paying a boatload of $ for, but he loved them so much that the entertainment value alone was worth it.
Speaking of $…$250 Amazon order just placed, Mr. Kay!
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I was a Litercy Volunteer. I thought I’d be helping some older person who slipped through the carcks and now wanted to turn their lives around so I’d help them get their GED. NOPE. It was all basically “English as a Second Langauge” freebie course. My student was pretty cool, she was from El Salvador and spoke a little English.
My husband’s Uncles second wife didn’t speak any English – she was from Italy – yet we all seemed to be able to communicate. She actually “acted” out a recipe for me.
No Kindle for me – I need the feel of a book in my hand.
And fuck those fake human robots. American Express tells you to “Go ahad and hang up” Go ahead and take a shit in your hat and put it on your head and shit-wire yourself.
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madz1962 Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 3:08 pm
DAMN – Literacy… cracks.
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t-storm Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 4:54 pm
I thought you did that on porpoise.
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The only podcast I listen to is Steve Gorman Sports. I don’t have an iPod, so I listen to it using WinAmp.
I am not really a sports fan, but he does tell some interesting stories.
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In the mid 80s I sat in the “Matador”, a bar on RT60 in South Charleston, WV where my girlfriend at the time worked, and drank an entire bottle of Ouzo with an Emissary from the Volkswagen plant.
He didn’t speak much English and the only german I knew was from movies and two songs I learned to sing in German in 1st grade. It was a fukkin blast!
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I’ve never listened to a podcast other than Jeff’s. I guess I’m missing out on some comedic gold.
The whole automated phone bullshit is probably one of THE most irritating tasks I have to deal with on a daily basis. Not only do I play nurse, esthetician, surgical assistant in this office, I also have the tedious task of calling insurance companies for authorization approval for surgical procedures. These assholes make you jump through rings of fire just because they can. They will ask the same questions over and over just to re-route you to another set of “choices”…then the same questions are asked again… After entering the patient’s ID #, birth date, Tax ID#, blah, blah, blah a hundred times, finally, a real person picks up and asks the same fucking questions again. Total ridiculousness and a waste of everyones time. It is maddening.
I, too, also believe that a lot of these “transplanted” Messicans and whathaveyou can totally understand english but only choose to respond to what they want to. I see it with the cosmetic patients that come in with a “translator”. When it comes to talking the ol’mighty dollar they speak fluent english.
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I once had to call motherboard maker ASUS to get some tech support. The call was to a California office but the tech that answered transferred me to an engineer…in TAIWAN!! Try getting tech support from someone speaking Mandarin. I think I ordered fried rice and extra starch.
I hate automated phone trees…the option I really want is never on the menu.
I knew a guy named Seymour who thought Iggy Pop was God. I don’t know what happened to Johnny.
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Funny you should mention the Google translator. I have been playing an online game (hangs head in shame) and one of the players on there is some guy in Russia and he and I go back and forth with the translator. It doens’t do a very good job, but you can get by.
I’d say befriend the guy – you know he’s probably got some cool stories, and you know, you’re into that right? What could be the harm…
Also, speaking of Dogfish beer, have you seen the new show on the Discovery (?) channel about those guys making crazy brews like Peruvian spit-beer and what not? If you haven’t seen it, you might enjoy it…
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t-storm Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 5:10 pm
I’m sure I’d love that show, but the spit beer made me watch zombies getting their brains blown out instead.
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Podcasts:
Jeff,
I TOTALLY LOVE the No Agenda Show
(with Adam Curry — yeah that one — and John C Dvorak)
It is self-described as Main Stream Media Assassination — they cover current topics and somtimes get political but not in a BORING way.
They crack me up!
It is 2-hour twice weekly show.
http://noagendashow.com
If you like Adam Carolla you might want to check out
Kevin Smith’s SmodCast. It is a riot what they talk about sometimes.
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A related pet peeve: People who record outgoing messages that sound like they’re actually picking up the phone.
“Hi, this is Mike”
The pause is where I start to speak, and then start to feel like a total ass when it continues:
“I’m not in right now…blah blah”
Augh!
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madz1962 Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Yet another pet peeve – when parents let their children leave the OGM and you can’t understand “Toddler-ese” so you just pray the beep comes fast.
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I hate when non-company voicemail systems make me listen to its own messages before I get to leave mine. I don’t need no damn directions telling me I can hang up or do whatever else I want after I leave a message. I just want to tell my old high school girl friend I think I still love her before the booze wears thin.
I imagine the corporate voicemail systems are the voices of robots that butcher 6 year old Canadian children while putting hard working Statesmen out of work at the Toyota plant owned by Mexicans.
The Russian guy is probably a defector, under some sort of security service, or a spy. That sounds very familiar to the ever changed owners of various nationalities at a sandwich shop in a town of about 150 people an hour south of Tucson. Strange.
You and Toney should go to that little pub down the way, just as soon as it opens.
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I hate it when sales people call, and they always say something like, “How’s your day going?” It’s always sales people that do that, and it makes me want to hang the fuck up on them. “How’s your day going?” CLICK. That’s how it’s going.
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And I have to ask, why is there a Russian man in your bathroom?
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Jeff,
On an aside note…
Yankees at Reds this year at Great American Ball Park in June, come on down! Day game on June 22nd.
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WB in OH Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 5:23 pm
Remind me when it gets closer and I’ll see if I can’t get some free tickets from work.
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dto Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 6:06 pm
That game is in my 20 game season package. I’ll be there! Day before my birthday so we must hang till midnight after the game.
I’m in section 431. Great seats right even with the first base bag.
Oh…I like books. Not too keen on the other things I guess. I like having books around too. More so than a turned off screen. I just read at home so it suits me fine this way.
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Another podcast vote for the Moth.
And if you like British Radio, the Dave Gorman Podcast is pretty entertaining (if a bit twee at times):
http://www.absoluteradio.co.uk/djs_shows/djs/gorman.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dave_Gorman
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The russian dude is probably listening to “?????????? ???? ??? “????????”" on his ipod.
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WB in OH Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Well that didn’t work. Apparently you can’t cut and paste russian text to a comment.
Anyway the russian dude is prolly listening to “English for Dummies” on his ipod.
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johnthebasket Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 9:26 am
WB…
No way. He’s listening to “tango romeo papa, tango romeo papa; lima bravo foxtrot, lima bravo foxtrot…”
jtb
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I have to attempt to have conversations with non-English speakers all the time. I work in labor and delivery, and many of our patients Hispanic. The Spanish speakers I can deal with (push, don’t push, pain, baby, and bathroom, what else do we need to talk about?) but we have had a huge influx of Guatemalans, and that brings communications to a screeching halt. We have a translation phone service which is piss poor for Spanish; you ask “Did her water break?” then you get the translator saying, “Yes, she would like a glass of water.” And don’t even get me started on trying to use the translation service for a discussion about circumcision. But the Guatemalans have so many dialects that is is impossible to find a translator for most of them. Then we resort to gestures. You should see me trying to ask if they are going to breast or bottle feed their baby.
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WB in OH Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 6:37 pm
I saw labor and delivery and instantly figured you drove a truck delivering bricks to construction sites!
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m Reply:
December 2nd, 2010 at 8:04 pm
Nope, although some days that would be preferable!
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10 years ago I worked with a Ukranian immigrant who use to have downloads of Beatles and Pink Floyd songs that were translated to Russian. In fact ‘the wall’ sounded better in Russian than English and I did not know a word of Russian.
Just ask the little bolshavic if you can listen to his Ipod. My guess it is old time rock like Elvis.
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I regularly listen to the smodcast network podcasts (Kevin Smith and froends) theres 7 podcasts that come out and my favorites are smodcast, tell em steve dave, and jay & silent bob get old. And of course vivalazimmer podcast after we post it
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Did he just say making fuck?
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Dave's not here, man Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 8:58 am
Here comes Randall, he’s a Berzerker!
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I listen to the Adam Carolla podcasts almost everyday. and I love the Daves of Thunders with Dave Dameshek. I had to pull out of traffic because I started choking while laughing. I honestly thought I’d pass out.
I’ve seen a lot of podcasts listed here that I want to give a listen. Thanks, fellow reporters!
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Hey bikerchick – do you still have your website selling your kickass jewelery?
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bikerchick Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 8:28 am
Yep..sure do!! I added the address in this comment so just click on my name here. Thanks for asking!
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I dunno, Jeff. I’m looking through that list of “Scranton Slanguage” and I’ve got to say that, with the exception of some truly bizarre expressions, much of that dialect looks like Pittsburghese warmed over. Sorry, but we’ve had things like “Jeet jet?” for-freakin-ever.
Today’s quote: “Ve get too zoon oldt und too late schmart.” Ancient Pennsylvania Dutch saying
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I took Russian in High School, and the school had a Russian janitor who did speak a little English. He was Jewish and from Odessa. So our teacher invited the janitor into class one day to help us develop our conversational Russian. The teacher immediately started criticizing the janitor’s pronunciation of every word. “You’re not pronouncing it right!” He couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that a Russian might not speak with a Muscovite accent, much less an Odessa Yiddish twang. And the janitor just got angrier and angrier. It was one of those moments when the class froze because we didn’t know whether to laugh at our teacher or be appalled for our janitor.
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I’m a pretty well traveled hillbilly and I’ve been in a couple of countries all alone with no ability to comprehend the local language.
On a trip to Brazil my friend in country had an accident and couldn’t get to rio in time to pick me up. I had to navigate myself to an area near parana river with no ability to speak portuguese.
Had sorta the same thing happen in thailand, cambodia and india. My guide /translator got themselves misplaced for an extended period and I was left to manage on my own. It’s not a fear thing it’s an etiquette thing. I feel I’m being disrespectful not to be able to communicate in the local language and I’m not comfortable with it. It’s a lot more enjoyable to have a translator available at least until you can at least string enough words together to communicate.
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Gretchen Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:13 am
Many moons ago I had a German boyfriend. I went to visit him in Germany one year and while I was there he got the shits. So I had to go to a pharmacy on my own and get medication. On the upside I’ll never forget the German word for diarrhea: “durchfall.” Which, as German is a largely descriptive language, translates to “fall through”.
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Gretchen Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:49 am
I should add, for anyone unaware of European customs, you can’t just stroll into a pharmacy over there and discreetly grab what you need off a shelf. No, you have to approach an imposing person behind the counter and loudly describe your problem, and they’ll get you what you need. One might assume this state of affairs results in a large contingency of the German population suffering such things as, uh, crotchital itching in silence, but the Germans aren’t really shy about their bodily functions and dysfunctions. My ex once offered to send me pictures of his hemorrhoid operation, as if it were akin to vacation photos or something. NO THANK YOU!
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The boyfriend listens to Adam Carolla and the Mike O’Meara show (Big O & Dukes?) daily. Loves them both.
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I live in a foreign country and although I can speak and understand most American my first language is English – almost daily I get the “what the fuck hell did y’all say?” glazed eye look from a local who’s never met me before. But I does speak enuff American to gets by. Except in rural areas, all bets are off there.
Kindle makes no sense to me. It’s not an improvement on a book. I have an unlimited 3G iPad and it kicks ass as a mobile browser – it is truly wonderful for that – but I’d never read a book on the thing. What’s wrong with paper?
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This is a put on, right?
http://scoop.todayshow.com/_news/2010/12/03/5573076-will-mel-gibson-be-ready-for-redemption-by-spring-2011-
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bikerchick Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:38 am
Thats just down right creepy. He looks like shit. Being batshit crazy sure took a tole on his good looks.
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Gretchen Reply:
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:42 am
I can’t even bring myself to make any beaver jokes.
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What is it with libraries lately? First Jeff’s incident, now this…
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/toronto/story/2010/12/02/library-man-crossbow548.html
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If you like Adam Carolla, you owe it to yourself to check out Loveline. It’s not a traditional podcast, per se, but you can treat it as such. You do have to sign up to download shows, but it’s not a big deal.
http://www.lovelinetapes.com
Some guy has set up a site that has nearly every episode of Loveline (call-in radio program), and some of those are some of the funniest things I’ve ever listened to. Featuring Adam Carolla (who is much better on this than his podcast, honestly) and Dr. Drew of like every reality show ever.
I recently listened to an episode where a guy called in claiming to be a “Zoosexual” – absolutely amazing.
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Hi Jeff and everybody,
I listen to alot of podcasts.. Adam Carolla, Kevin Smiths Smodcast network (theres alot of different ones that he does), Remember When (two guys discussing movies), Destroy all Movies is fricking hilarious, 30 Odd foot of Pod is out of australia, The Atomic Geeks, Hypothetical Help is funny, Paranormal Podcast is interesting and then I have a bunch of knitting podcasts I listen to because I’m a knitter haha.. oh, Keith and the Girl (katg.com) is a daily show and out of New York.. Keith Malley is very funny.. well, I’m spent.. time to knit on my socks.. peace and love
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Rocking out in denver Sunday. If any reporters want to join me.
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I love Sirius radio’s comedy channels it’s great when you are travelling. Raw Dog and Blue collar Radio.
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