Hello, Surf Reporters! I hate to start this one out on an awkward note… but I’m gonna have to shake the tip jar for a few seconds here.
There’s a website-related bill due — specifically the mailing list service — and no available funds in the ol’ PayPal account. I would very much appreciate a small donation, if you can spare it. It’s not a huge bill, a little over $200, so…
20 donations of $10
10 donations of $20
40 donations of $5
67 donations of $3
…or a million other combinations, will do it. If you can send a few bucks my way, I’ll be much obliged. And, if not, I understand. Oh, I understand real good.
And for the record, whenever I have to do this it makes me sick to my stomach. It was better when I was a record weasel, pulling down the big Matchbox 20 money. But, those days are (temporarily!) over.
On a related note… I’m having fun with the site again, for some reason. I’m enjoying writing the updates, like the early days, and hopefully you’ve noticed an improvement in the quality. …Hello?
I still SUCK with email, though. And I’m sorry about that. Here’s what happens: I receive a message, and read it on my phone. Since it’s so hard to type out a longish reply with a keyboard the size of a Post-It note, I vow to answer from home, ASAP. Then a million other emails (mostly boolshit, not personal messages) pile on top of it, and it all gets swept away in the tsunami.
But I want to change all that, and am hereby declaring email bankruptcy (I think I might have stolen that phrase from another website, but can’t remember which one). All the messages I receive from… NOW! will be answered in a timely manner. But I’m not going to try to go back and deal with the older ones. Do we have a bargain?
I apologize, but will do better. I really do appreciate you guys coming here every day, and am feeling the urge to become fully engaged again. Thanks for sticking with me, even though I probably appear to be a bastard sometimes.
Also… the Smoking Fish pics. I have dozens and dozens of them in a folder on my desktop. I stopped posting them, for some unknown reason, but am going to lay in some Yuengling Lager real soon, and spend a few hours getting them caught up. I might do it Saturday night, in fact. Again, I apologize for being a piece of shit.
What are you feeling guilty about today? Anything? I gave you my (partial) list, now it’s your turn. Please use the comments link below.
And what’s your opinion of this idea? I’d like to hire someone to make a phone app that creates the illusion, to the person on the other end of the line, that you’re in a bad cell. It would cause your voice to cut in and out, at random intervals, then finally shut down completely.
Not bad, huh? It would allow people to end calls with annoying folks, without offending them. Please give me your thoughts, and don’t steal my idea! In fact, if you have the know-how to build something like this, let’s go into business together. Email me. I answer them now.
Also, what do you think about the fancy handmade toilet seat above? It’s offered for sale at an etsy page, and is apparently aimed at people who don’t like to flop down on nasty public crappers.
I have a few concerns…
For one, I think I’d feel a bit self-conscious walking into, say, the men’s room at Target, with a giant hand-carved shitting plank under my arm. Ya know?
Also, the hole seems kinda small; it looks like the thing would afford a mighty small path to victory. Theoretically, you’d just align the two holes, and let ‘er rip. But we all know it’s not always so simple. What happens after the bomb bay doors are flung open can be unpredictable. And this product doesn’t appear to be very forgiving, in the event of a sausage-fueled assplosion, or whatever.
And the decorative grooves give me a full-body shiver. I’m having visions of a horrible version of peanut butter and celery. Blecch!
If you have any thoughts on that shitting plank, please share them in the comments. And I’ll be back tomorrow with something a little more coherent.
See ya then!