A Few Quick Things, vol. 117

houseguestHello Surf Reporters! I hope your weekends were pleasant. Mine was OK. Thanks for asking. I got to spend most of Saturday with the older boy, and that was good. And nothing bad happened, but I didn’t sleep very well. I rarely sleep through the night these days. I have a lot of stuff on my mind — some positive and some negative — and can’t seem to turn off the IMAX movie playing inside my tiny Duke head. IT NEVER STOPS!!

But, we don’t need to go into that. We all have our burdens, right? I don’t need to dump my crap on you guys; I’m no Dave Matthews.

However, I am going to need your help with something in October. It’s a very important month for me, and you folks play a part in it. For reasons I’ll share with you later, the page views at this website need to be high next month. Higher than normal.

So… if you read something that you especially enjoy here, please share it at Facebook or Twitter. Or even Reddit or StumbleUpon. Most of this is on me, of course, and I’m planning to work my riffled ass off in October. But I also need for you guys to help spread my updates (and bunker pics) around the internet, as much as possible. It’s super-important, and could even lead to me sleeping through the night someday soon. As always, I appreciate you guys, and your continued support.

And speaking of that, I will have an update on the t-shirts soon. It’s one of the many problems in my life at the moment. I’ve had two places refuse the job, and it’s all become a big cluster fornication. But everybody will receive their shirts, and they’ll be a thing of beauty. I’m sorry it’s gone this way, and will never do them again. I thought it was a good idea, and was WAAAAY off. God, how I miss the late, great T-Shirt Lady…

Well, actually she’s not dead, I don’t think. She’s just not doing shirts anymore. Wonder if I could coax her out of retirement, for one final score? Like a master criminal who’s trying to go straight, in one of those old movies? “You’re the best, Louie! The best!!”

Fukkit, let’s move on.

On Saturday the older boy and I visited a college an hour or so from here. Toney was planning to also go, but felt the youngling and I needed to spend the day together. We had some talking to do, and got ‘er done.

The campus we toured was really pretty, and they offer everything he’s looking for. And, comparatively speaking, it’s inexpensive. You know, but still A LOT of money. Holy shit. I’ll probably end up with a bay window in the side of my stomach, before it’s all over.

While there, I coined a new phrase — inspired by a professor we spoke with: gaysian. Thank you, I’m very proud of my accomplishments… However, when I got home I Googled it, and learned many other people thought of it before me. It was a sad moment.

Later the same night I was pontificating about some sort of ridiculousness, while standing in the middle of the living room. And I thought I’d really done it this time. While spewing my nonsense, I came up with the phrase “disastrophe.” That HAD to be a new one, I thought. Unfortunately… not. What’s the story, man? I’m inventing phrases all willy-nilly, but getting cock-blocked again and again.

Have you ever successfully invented a new word or phrase? Please share. I think I’ve come up with a few, but who knows? Urban Dictionary is a full-blown dream crusher.

I think I’m going to visit my parents during the last week of October. I haven’t been to West Virginia in way too long, and only see my folks about once a year. I need to make more of an effort; my dad turned 72 last week, and they (and I) won’t be around forever.

So, I took a cuppa two tree vacation days, and plan to drive to the greater Dunbar area alone. It’ll do me some good, I think, to have all that time with my thoughts and Van Halen CDs. It’ll be therapy, as much as anything else. So, at least I have a road trip on the docket. I like having something to look forward to, something to break up the daily slog.

Before I call it a day here… one of our neighbors told Toney that bears have been spotted around here, rooting through trashcans. Bears! What in the pearl-handled hell?! We don’t live in a wildlife refuge; Mutual of Omaha doesn’t sponsor our world. There’s a Taco Bell right over there.

What unusual animals have you encountered near your house, through the years? Anything extra-strange? If so, please tell us about it in the comments section below.

And I gotta go, my friends. I’ll see you again tomorrow — October 1. Let’s do this thing!

Have yourselves a great day.

Now playing in the bunker
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So, who is this guy?

Thanks for stopping by! My name is Jeff Kay, I was born while JFK was president, and it's all very embarrassing and corny. Today I'm a suburban husband and father, who is sometimes accused of being a bit tightly-wound. The West Virginia Surf Report! is my creative outlet, and insurance policy against completely losing my shit. I hope you'll stick around and participate in the lively community of geniuses and curmudgeons who hang out here every day. I love a full 87% of them! And while you're at it, please follow me at Twitter and Facebook.

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